₦airaland Forum

isyourboy:
Why? I thought they said we eat healthy and they eat sugar over there? Does sugar make one age well or what? Like you can easily see an 82yrs old white man with his wife who’s 80 walking and doing excercise. But in Nigeria, men already die before 55yrs. Apart from significant familial responsibilities killing Nigerian men, what other contributing factors make things this way?

Do 70yr olds in America go to farm?Alaye go find better thing to talk.

A man’s 4 kids decided to run DNA test as a joke.They found out only one was the biological child of their father..

yommysure:
You’re 100💯right.. I know this location…..OS Dey come there wella with packaging…lol

I done knack more than 25 babes for that pappies..If them like make they package like indomie carton,I no send at all..

You be Ozwor..You for just finish the whole matter with better knocking than for you to leave..You suppose know say na hookup from the start.

But you can watch BBN?..The babe na Ozwor..

Mrkc:
No wife.
No kids.
No helper.
No inheritance.
No connection.
No friends.
No skill.
All I have is just HND ...
I am a weakling and i feel so defeated.
My world is crumbling

You have life bro..

The life of 100men will be rendered useless..100 destinies will be wiped clean..The men should better buy holy water before they tangle with Mandykiss..

Just Dey play ooo….Na mosquito go enjoy pass..

Celebrityown:
.
No reason like that baddo don Dey resemble jay z if we tell our self the truth

Na cheap copy..

The weed wey you smoke na diluted bro..No use that brain cross road oo

I go still marry the housemaids ..

donmixc:
this man chop IMO state money well well just like wike did. I wonder why south lack good leaders. they are always electing looters as governor

Yes he did but do not put aside the good things he has been doing for imo state before he became a Governor..Your best governor could not do what he did for people..Do you know how many students he has helped with free education before he was a governor?

Ilamina:


Life is hard
So difficult
So painful

AFTER ALL my hard-work

Failure

They said because I am an English speakers, we can't accomplish anything .

Sensitive and the wicked people. .English speakers. .can't accomplish anything

You no find Oyinbo again?..Abi Oyinbo done finish for your village?

If you no chop life,life go chop you..

omoredia:
This wan dey do baller while his staff dey jump down burning building

Abi your uncle na Superman na shey you no fit fly go save people!!

Thunderfayamods:
What is this one saying?

Shes on her way to Nigêria…

BreakingNews21:
Bro you beat me to posting that SIMP word. Hard to believe some guys get stuck on one babe and can't keep it moving.

The guy think na fine boy Dey keep woman..

Welcome to Nigeria..You think aboard na Nigeria ba?..

You a SIMP bro…

Ibtxxo:
Oboy wetin my eye see yesterday, my mouth no fit talk am.
This small boy when I use 15 years senior just collected $250k for area.
See how area take catch fire yesterday.
Na yesterday I believe say juju dey work.
Because this thing no be ordinary eye

Nollywood done finish you…Try Dey get sense.

The areas mentioned have one thing in common..

Agbadorians will ignore this post…We have BVN,NIN,STD,ABC,CNN,DSTV,HIV,So what exactly is the color of this govt problem?..

FitCorper:
As you de pay your last respect, no forget say na your life de sho(r)t.

E no short at all…No bring Nollywood join this matter..

I go first do enough shots before throwing her out.Thats called”last respect”..

Spitting nonsense..

eghost247:
1. The Barbie.
The only thing Barbie has, is her pretty face. Finish. She’s the type of woman that doesn’t know much about anything. Hell, she doesn’t care much about anything! As long as her pretty face is intact, the world can burn for all she cares.

2. The Drama Queen.
Avoid this person like a plague, even as a friend. She has no qualms about creating a scene over a perceived sin. She would bawl her eyes out loudly in public if she feels you don’t love her; or love her enough. She cries, she’s passionate and yes, she looooves the attention.

3. The Possessive/Obsessive Clinger.
Similar to Miss DQ above, but she doesn’t have the need to cause drama; she has a need for YOU. At all times. She calls thrice an hour. Her first question always is ‘Where are you?’ If you don’t pick up because you’re getting chewed up by your boss, expect the multi-page accusatory text messages to start flooding in. She gets upset when you have the barest interaction with another woman. She wants to be the only presence in your life. Before she goes the way of Cameron Diaz’s character in ‘Vanilla Sky’, quickly give her the boot.

4. The Wife.
She is not interested in dating. She doesn’t want a boyfriend: she wants a husband. She wants to marry. Now! One date and she’s ready to meet your parents. Two weeks on and she has chosen the names of the children you will have together. Nobody said women were logical creatures but then, life – as well as love – is in stages. I’m not sure I like you yet and you’re already choosing aso ebi… slow down madam.

5. The Party Animal.
There’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down and having fun occasionally. When it now becomes a way of life, nne, we have a problem. Sometimes one needs to chill and enjoy the other person’s company. Not this lady. She knows all the happening places in Lagos. And Abuja. And London. Her friends are going. And she must be there too. The party animal will be bored with you in no time.

6. The Cheat.
Seriously, do I need to explain this? There is no way in the world to have a meaningful relationship with someone who’s cheating on her boyfriend with you. Even if she gets out of that relationship and starts a new one with you, you know that she has no qualms about infidelity. She’s going to cheat on you too. Period.

7. Nairabody.
“I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she aint messing with no broke n…” This is the type of woman who craves the finer things in life and expects a man to provide them. She’s with you only for the money. She might actually ‘like’ you, but if you can’t buy her things and generally assume responsibility as her personal cash dispenser, forget it; you can’t get five minutes of her time. She’s a pro at using sex as a tool: you get it when you pay. The moment she finds a more affluent man (that is if she doesn’t have a bunch of you suckers around her pinky already), she’s going to kick your broke behind to the curb. Expecting a steady stable relationship from Nairabody is futile. There are better ways to waste time and money.

8. Your neighbour’s teenage daughter.
Forget how she looks in a tank top. There’s a law against that type of thing.

Na to date Leprechaun remain na..

Pukkalolo:
I was a having severe this headache, so I decided to go visit the pharmacy closer to my crib... This was my first time there.
The moment I got to the large pharmacy, I was welcomed with polite smiles from 2 beautiful nurses; one was dark while the other one was light skinned.There was also a sales boy there helping out.

I requested for Paracetamol, Vitamin C and other stuff.

Then immediately, I was struck with a crazy idea. In my mind I was like, "Let me woo one of these nurses and see what's gonna happen..."

But I was confused on which of one to go for because they were both looking cute.

Lesson #1. Don't go for the woman you like, instead go for the woman that likes you.

Only the real players understand statement.

Anyways, I needed to quickly find out which of the nurses might probably like me more... I launch an 'awkward' test.

I said in almost loud voice, "Do you people sell condom."

The moment that statement left my mouth, there was a sudden earthquake. The pharmacy store was in chaos.

The sales boy and the two ladies looked up at me immediately: it was as if 3 guns were pointed at me and ready to pull the trigger.

The sales boy stared at me as if I had 3 nose. His facial expressions was, "what the Bleep just came out from this guy mouth?"

But my focus was on the nurses; I scanned their faces quickly to see their reactions.

The dark nurse gave me a disgusting look; she looked at me the way she'd look at a fly that just petch on her food.

The light skinned nurse smiled innocently; she looked me the exact way she'd look at a yummy ice cream.

Obviously, the dark lady seemed disappointed in the fact that I wanted to buy condom. What a predender!. The hypocrites and pretenders like her are the ones that do worse behind closed doors.

The light skinned one seemed impressed by audacity.

Dating lesson #2: Not every woman will like you. Some women will admire you for saying or doing something, while another set of women will despise you for doing that same thing.

That's life. Accept it. Just focus on the women who like and appreciate you; the rest of the other women can as well get lost.

Anyways, I decided to shoot my shot with the light skinned lady.

As the sales boy immediately go around the large store to fetch my drugs, and my condoms of course...I quickly turned to the light skinned nurse and said in a rather low tone,

"I still can't remember dating a light skinned nurse, but I'm very sure you'll be my first."

My opening line shock her a bit. After recovering from the shock, she smirked and said, "Date me?? Lolz. . Oh sorry, keep dreaming!"

Lesson #3: Women will try to break you down psychologically and emotionally with their words or facial expressions. Never let their negative reactions affect your confidence.


I replied, "well, it's already a forgone conclusion that you and I are gonna date..."

She said, "Really...so you are looking for a girl to try those condoms on... sorry not me."

Again, that statement was attempt to break me down psychologically and emotionally. I never let a woman's negative reactions affect my confidence. I don't give a shit.

I replied in a sarcastic manner, "what! are you already thinking of doing me... So you just want to do me and dump me."

She smiled and said, "please I don't understand what you are talking about o."

I continued playfully, "why can't I find a girl who truly care about me and not just because of my sugar cane."

She laughed and said, "O my gush, you are a funny guy"

The dark nurse was obviously not impressed with the way I and the light skinned nurse were talking.

The sales guy brought my drugs and the other stuff I requested for.

Then I continued with the light skinned nurse,

"I see you're busy at work, we should talk more later... what's your phone number, "

But she soundly rejected the idea. She said, "sorry I cannot give you my phone number."

Ooch! That was painful.

I was like, "really..."

She said, "Yes...it's against our policy here to give out our personal phone number to customers."

Then I said in a low tone, "and who the hell made that policy."

She said, "well, it's my boss; he's sitting over there," she said while stylishly pointing at an elderly man who had probably been staring at me the whole time from the moment I asked for condoms.

He was looking at me the exact way my father would look at me when he was about flog the shit out of me.



Then I turned to the lady, "if it weren't for the no giving out phone number policy, would you have giving me your digit."

She said, "why not! You are a cool guy."

Fortunately, I move about with pen and little jotter in my pocket in case I had any idea i can jot it down before it disappears from my head.

I brought out the pen from my pocket and tore a piece of paper from the jotter and wrote my number on it and stylishly gave it to her.

Then I said, "I'm very sure you'll get in touch with me."

She smiled and replied, "hmmm... keep dreaming!"

Again, that statement was attempt on her part to break me down psychologically and emotionally.

I simply smiled and walked out of the store.

2 days later, I got a WhatsApp message from an unsaved number saying, "Hi, good morning."

I looked at the profile pic to see who the person was.....let's welcome our light skinned nurse.

You move around with pen and jotter😂😂We know say you be teacher..

[quote author=JovialJune post=136708285][/quote]He would be the Village Headmaster Of Idiots..