₦airaland Forum

well i think dumping is only taken serious if the two are very much into each other, apart from that, either of them can walk away without blinking.

MizMyColi:
Between both parties?
Oh well, I think what matters more's whose ego is bruised.

At the risk of sounding sexist, I think it's harder for a Guy who's dumped by a lady or a lady-like.

It tells more on the lady though - that's if roles were reversed.

But who really loses more between the two? satisfying her material needs or satisfying his sexual needs?

OK, I've seen questions asking would you rather be the Dumper or the Dumpee, and stuff like that, but do you really think it matters who is the dumper and who is the dumpee?

Take a guy for example. He claims he is the one that dumped her, because she cheated on him for months (he figured 3 months before he dumped her). He says it matters but to me it doesn't matter because it seemed SHE was the one that dumped him already since she moved on to sleep with other guys. SO who dumped who? and does it matter?

There is this thing about not wanting to be the one coming back to beg, hence people like to be the dumper, even if they are wrong in most cases.

What's your take? Are you afraid to dump him/her even when deep down you love him/her so much and hope he or she would come back to beg. What if that doesn't happen? Will you tell him/her to come back and forget about what happened?

Look at Lagos lookers , so our movie industries still go around carrying cameras one feet away from the people acting? shioor

Each time I make a decision to be more spiritual and I start to put effort into that kind of life, that is when female friends of mine who I haven't even stayed in touch with would start calling or beeping me asking for us to hang out. They will be the one persuading us to meet.

Sometimes I will cross path with an old female friend and the next thing you do is exchanging phone numbers. You know what comes next after meeting for old time sake. And I ask myself, why did we meet at this period? coincidence? nah!!!

I have now come to realize one thing. The devil relaxes when he knows you are living in the world, but when he sees you trying to find an escape route through the Word of God, he quickly activate ''distraction mode'' by sending them girls or whatever it is would make it difficult for you.

I'm experiencing such right now. No wonder they say ''that our battle is not of the flesh but a spiritual one''. God help me.

oh! I see...

egopersonified:
Keneking, come and tell this guy who is responsible for this, lol.

who is Keneking?

My friends told me about Banks recruitment and they were like ''what an opportunity''!!! On scaling through they found themselves in marketing department. Next thing I hear is they are given targets. Just now I finished chatting with a very good friend of mine who was given a job at FCMB owerri. 98% of people she met want sex. I asked her how she reacts, and she told me ''I smile and tell them I'll keep in touch''. She is contemplating on quitting.

Immorality is at its highest and its no longer a big deal to all these so called married men. I felt her pain because I know how long it took her to get the job, and now she is already thinking of quitting.

''THE FEAR OF GOD'' no longer exist to some people. How did it come down to this level?

You think say you go enter front page abi? lie lie

kozaic:
Ex'es are meant to be our past...dnt go back to ur eX!

Thank you, I actually found out she is still the same person, and hasn't changed with regards to her past character and attitude.

If I get a job at Tobacco I will gladly accept it, but that doesn't make me ungodly.

Does the answer make any any difference on how you live your life?

that was how micheal Jackson started

Emmysteve:
why do guys on nairaland often do this? No body will kill u if you initially tell us that you're the person in question. Haba! Fear God!

How does fearing God come into wanting to stay anonymous?

og2k3:
Follow ur heart man. Make sure u make d right choice.

Yeah and that's why i'm in this situation. Thanks anyway.

01karma:
I hate going back any thing that make us disunite is done for good.. I hate dating my ex! Its prostitution!

And the other girl in school, i don't trust her. Follow ur mind. Find some one who is close and start a new and lasting relationship.

I cant find anyone close...well not yet. I wouldn't want to look desperate.

Emmysteve:
You could have use the word 'I' instead of 'my friend' and safe us the stress of comprehending your grammar. You are that your friend. *Drops mic*

For someone who doesn't have a comment to make on the post, what difference does it make? Toor!!!

Longman if you know you had nothing sensible to say, why not walk pass than occupying a space meant for a reasonable comment.
And for your info this post is true and he is very bothered. So pack your comment one side please.

I dated her when she was doing her NYSC days but found out she complains a lot. After three months we had a mutual agreement that we weren't ready for a relationship and it’s best we remain friends This happened more than three years ago. She is working and is 27 years old.

The present girl is 22years old. I knew her when I tutored her in one of those Jamb classes. She is currently in school and we talk often on the phone. She is in her second year and will graduate probably in 2 years time. This is the 8months we are dating.


My dilemma: I met with my ex and I took her out for lunch. it’s obvious we still loved each other. And looking back I believed I wasn't ready for commitment and would have handled it well if it was now. Should i give it another chance?

As for my present girl who is still in school; We've only spent couple of hours when I visited her in school. She hasn’t come home for break. We talk on the phone frequently, but is that enough for me to end up with her knowing she would spend most of her time in school till when I will be ready to get married? To be honest, can I settle for phone conversation as courtship? Because its obvious there wont be time after graduation for the real courting. Should I take the risk and keep her; then marry her and hope she is the same I talk on the phone with?

And finally, I don't like the double dating idea.

afokstoomuci:
How did d season 9 end cos d one i bought didn't end well

Jack was captured in exchange for Chloe and taken into the helicopter by the Russians.

QUESTIONS FOR THE gODS

tola9ja: QUR'AN AND BIBLE WHICH OF THESE SCRIPTURES HONOR JESUS

They Killed Him Not Nor Crucified Him

Qur'an 4:155-159 Surah An-Nisaa (The Women)
(They have incurred divine displeasure): in that they broke their Covenant: that they rejected the Signs of Allah; that they slew the Messengers in defiance of right; that they said "Our hearts are the wrappings (which preserve Allah's Word; we need no more)"; nay Allah hath set the seal on their hearts for their blasphemy and little is it they believe.
That they rejected faith: that they uttered against Mary a grave false charge.
That they said (in boast) "We killed Christ (Maseeh) Jesus the son of Mary the Apostle of Allah"; but they killed him not nor crucified him but so it was made to appear to them and those who differ therein are full of doubts with no (certain) knowledge but only conjecture to follow for of a surety they killed him not.
Nay Allah raised him up unto Himself; and Allah is Exalted in Power Wise.
And there is none of the People of the Book but must believe in him before his death; and on the Day of Judgment He will be a witness against them.


He Shall Speak to the People in Childhood and in Maturity

Qur'an 3:45-51 Surah Ale-'Imran (The Family of 'Imran)
Behold! the angels said "O Mary! Allah giveth thee glad tidings of a Word from Him: his name will be Christ (Maseeh) Jesus the son of Mary held in honor in this world and the Hereafter and of (the company of) those nearest to Allah.
"He shall speak to the people in childhood and in maturity and he shall be (of the company) of the righteous."
She said: "O my Lord! how shall I have a son when no man hath touched me?" He said: "Even so: Allah createth what He willeth; when He hath decreed a plan He but saith to it 'Be' and it is!
"And Allah will teach him the Book and Wisdom the Law and the Gospel.
"And (appoint him) an Apostle to the Children of Israel (with this message): I have come to you with a sign from your Lord in that I make for you out of clay as it were the figure of a bird and breathe into it and it becomes a bird by Allah's leave; and I heal those born blind and the lepers and I quicken the dead by Allah's leave; and I declare to you what ye eat and what ye store in your houses. Surely therein is a Sign for you if ye did believe.
"(I have come to you) to attest the Law which was before me and to make lawful to you part of what was (before) forbidden to you; I have come to you with a Sign from your Lord. So fear Allah and obey me.
"It is Allah who is my Lord and your Lord; then worship Him. This is a way that is straight."

Clear Signs To Jesus the Son of Mary

Qur'an 2:253 Surah Al-Baqarah (The COW)
Those apostles We endowed with gifts some above others: to one of them Allah spoke; others He raised to degrees (of honor); to Jesus the son of Mary We gave clear (Signs) and strengthened him with the Holy Spirit. If Allah had so willed succeeding generations would not have fought among each other after clear (Signs) had come to them but they (chose) to wrangle some believing and others rejecting. If Allah had so willed they would not have fought each other; but Allah fulfilleth His plan.


Glory to Thee! Never Could I Say What I Had No Right to Say


Qur'an 5:116-120 Surah Al-Ma'idah (The Table Spread)
And behold! Allah will say "O Jesus the son of Mary! didst thou say unto men 'worship me and my mother as gods in derogation of Allah"? He will say: "Glory to Thee! never could I say what I had no right (to say). Had I said such a thing Thou wouldst indeed have known it. Thou knowest what is in my heart though I know not what is in Thine. For Thou knowest in full all that is hidden.
"Never said I to them anything except what Thou didst command me to say to wit 'Worship Allah my Lord and your Lord'; and I was a witness over them whilst I dwelt amongst them; when Thou didst take me up thou wast the Watcher over them and Thou art a Witness to all things.
"If Thou dost punish them they are Thy servants: if Thou dost forgive them Thou art the Exalted the Wise.
Allah will say: "This is a day on which the truthful will profit from their truth: theirs are Gardens with rivers flowing beneath their eternal home: Allah well-pleased with them and they with Allah: that is the great Salvation (the fulfillment of all desires).
To Allah doth belong the dominion of the heavens and the earth and all that is therein and it is He who hath power over all things.





Mark 15:25King James Version (KJV)

25 And it was the third hour, and they crucified him


John 19:13-15King James Version (KJV)

13 When Pilate therefore heard that saying, he brought Jesus forth, and sat down in the judgment seat in a place that is called the Pavement, but in the Hebrew, Gabbatha.

14 And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth hour: and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your King!

15 But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered, We have no king but Caesar.


Galatians 3:13English Standard Version (ESV)

13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”—


Deuteronomy 21:23King James Version (KJV)

23 His body shall not remain all night upon the tree, but thou shalt in any wise bury him that day; (for he that is hanged is accursed of God that thy land be not defiled, which the Lord thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Matthew 5:22English Standard Version (ESV)

22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.


Matthew 23:17English Standard Version (ESV)

17 You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that has made the gold sacred?

Matthew 10:34-35King James Version (KJV)

34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.




Mark 11:13-14King James Version (KJV)

13 And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

14 And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.

So?

I get the jitters whenever I think about it. I'm yet to marry.

MrIknowAll: A female having her Son on her profile..

Okay

MrIknowAll: You think its funny 2 waste a thread?

#MrIKnowALL: A female having a male ID, or a male disguised as a female or a female having her son on her profile. which one are you please?

tobiboss:

Cyndy Lauper

I wouldn't want to copy and paste this on my facebook wall so it doesn't look as if i'm the originator. Could you please direct us to the link so I can go there and share on my facebook wall?

sexyexcalibur: SAW THIS ON FB....... AND DECIDED TO SHARE




If you're on facebook and you can see this right now, I
would like you to take your time and read to the end.
I am a Christian and I love my Muslim brothers with all my heart but what I don't understand is while a lot of them read the Koran in reverse. Please correct me if am wrong, am only trying to make some things clear.....
NOW READ....
The holy Koran has 114 Chapters, 6666 words. In these 6666 words, prophet Mohammed's name was mentioned only four (4) times while the name of Jesus was mentioned twenty-five (25) times.
In the holy Koran, no woman's name was mentioned except Mariam the mother of Jesus Christ. In the holy Koran chapter 3, the name of the chapter is "Family of Mariam" and chapter 19, the name of the chapter is "Mariam"
The holy Koran chapter 3 verses 34 onwards, it says, Mary was born without Original sin, she never committed any sin in her life, she was a virgin and in chapter 50 verse 23, it says Mary went to heaven Body and soul.
In chapter 3 verses 45-55, there are 10 point which the holy Koran made about Jesus. 1st, it says that Jesus is the "Word", 2ndly, that Jesus is the Spirit of God, 3rdly, that He is "Jesus Christ". So the Koran acknowledged Him as Word of God, Spirit of God, and Jesus Christ.
The holy Koran says Jesus spoke when He was very small like 2 days old after His birth, the Koran says Jesus created a live Bird with mud which means He can give life. The holy Koran says Jesus cured a man born blind, leprosy e.t.c. The Koran says Jesus gave life to dead people, He went to heaven, He is still alive and He will come again.
According to the Koran, Mohammed is not a word of God, not the Spirit of God, never spoke when he was 2 days old, never created and gave life to any bird, never cured any sick person, never raised any dead, he himself died and according to Islam he is not alive and will never come back.
The truth is if the muslims truly believe Jesus and Mohammed are both prophets then they should know that Jesus is greater. The muslims believed that God created the world through the word and the Koran says Jesus is the word, so by implication it means, the Koran is referring to Jesus Christ as the Creator..

I bet you would get responses from our Muslim brothers quoting other verses from what you just dropped here

a common situation you’ll find yourself in at some point in your adult life: fed up of your job and seeing no other option than to storm out of the door and throw your resignation letter on your boss’s desk.

This isn’t an easy decision to make, and is one that can easily backfire if you decide to quit on impulse before really thinking it through.

There are a lot of reasons why you might feel like quitting is the only option, but that’s not always the case, and it can sometimes just make matters worse.

So how can you make sure you’re making the right decision? Well, these five things to consider should help:

1.) Why Do You Want To Quit?

The first and most important thing to consider before leaving your job is why you want to quit. Identifying the issue can provide you with alternatives to leaving your position and solve the problem without you having to look for another job.

If your biggest problem is a work colleague or manager, this might be something to take up with your HR department, or if it’s the work itself, perhaps you can raise your grievances with your manager and request to work on a different project that you feel more comfortable with.

It’s best to explore all avenues before taking the plunge and quitting, however if it’s the industry or work environment that’s making you miserable, it may be that leaving is your only choice.

2.) Have You Been Mistreated?

If your issue with your role is that you’re being treated badly – whether that be through abusive language, being overworked or being discriminated against – then that’s definitely something to take up with HR before walking out of the door.

If you can get the issue resolved, surely that’s better than shooting yourself in the foot and leaving yourself with no job because of how others treat you?

However, if it’s just a mild grievance or annoyance that you have, is it really worth dragging up? Or could you put up with it while you look for a better position?

5 Things To Consider Before Quitting Your Job image quit job

3.) Do You Have Something Else Lined Up?

One of the worst knock-on effects of quitting your job is the lack of steady income, especially if you have others who depend on you.

If you’ve got another job lined up, then great. But if you don’t, you really need to consider your options very carefully before calling it quits.

Do you have a way of providing for yourself and others during your period of unemployment? Is there some paid work you can carry out in the meantime? Do you have enough savings to cover your unemployment? If the answer to any of these is no, then maybe you should reconsider quitting until you get something else lined up?

4.) Is There Another Issue?

There may come a time when it’s easier to blame your work life for how you’re feeling, when really there are other problems going on in different areas of your life.

Take a step back to fully assess what’s going on in your life outside of work and try to see if there’s another area that’s causing you unnecessary stress that you’re blaming on your job.

If this is the case, quitting won’t change anything as you’ll only end up feeling the same when you take on a different role. Instead, try and fix the problems outside of your career and see if this has any effect on your work life.

5.) Do You Have Enough Experience To Quit?

If you plan on quitting your job then hunt for another one, have you done your research into the type and length of experience your desired roles need?

If you find that you haven’t got enough experience to market yourself for a new role, is quitting your job now really going to benefit your career?

You need to consider whether you could stand staying in your job for a few more months so you can get that extra experience under your belt and be able to apply for a job you really want in the near future.

So there we go, some things you should consider before quitting your job!

Do you agree with these points, or is there something else that you need to think about before taking the plunge?

Happiness within the modern workplace is improving, sure. We talk less about discrimination, and we’re getting closer to equal pay regardless of gender. But that doesn’t mean that workers are thriving unhindered. The big difference is that these days, the barrier to advancing is more likely to be self-constructed. That’s right: Your own worst workplace nemesis is you.

Maybe it’s a lack of confidence to demand the salary you’re worth or the promotion you deserve. Maybe you’re risk-averse, and inclined to hand over the high profile (and high visibility) assignments to someone else. Maybe you don’t have a mentor. Maybe you aren’t a mentor yourself.

But more than ever, each of us is a brand, in competition with other brands, and in order to succeed, it’s important to learn to stop getting in your own way; to create your own path. Here are the top worst mistakes modern workers make, and ways to avoid falling prey to the same traps yourself.

1. Not Marketing Yourself

Most people know that marketing is an essential part of moving up in the workplace, and yet they hold back. The reason: They don’t want to be seen as bragging about themselves. But there are plenty of ways to further your personal brand—and to get the recognition—without grandstanding. The first step is to be sure you can define and understand your brand: what you can offer, who needs to know about you and why. Be clear and direct about the benefits you offer. If you’re simply stating the facts—to the relevant people—it’ll be hard to take that as being needlessly self-promotional. It’s only when you talk about your achievements to someone for whom those achievements aren’t relevant that you can sound boastful.

Another approach to indirect, non-braggy marketing is to work to be included on the big and difficult projects. Those are the jobs that bring visibility. At the very least, try to be on cross-functional teams and projects so that people outside your workplace inner circle get to see you in action. Or take on “extra credit” work like writing articles or finding speaking opportunities. Just be sure the extra work isn’t the kind where you’re in a room working on something that gets you zero exposure. Pick things where the extra work will be recognized.

And lastly, but most critically, do a great job. There’s no better marketing tool than a good reputation. Take pride in your work by paying attention to every detail. Avoid careless moves like being late or missing deadlines. As Johnny Carson once said, “Talent alone won’t make you a success.”

2. Having Sub-par Communication Skills

One timeless and industry-neutral piece of advice I give to employees of all ages is to learn to be the best communicator you can be. I talk to a lot of people in senior positions, and everyone agrees that ill communication is the biggest problem among employees today, particularly among those just coming out of college. People simply aren’t prepared to create and convey a point of view. But sloppy communications hurt you. Clear communications, on the other hand, make you stand out.

Technology is surely partly to blame. We email and we text, and we use shorthand that’s getting ever shorter, and as a result we’re losing our skills in clear, concise expression. One way to reverse this trend is to use every opportunity you have to speak in front of groups. Presentation skills are like muscles. They need to be stressed if they’re going to get stronger. And, like running or lifting weights, the more you do it, the easier it gets, the more you can take on, and the more accomplished you become.

In written communication, meanwhile, again it’s critical to take pride in your work. Treat every memo as a reflection of your brand. Is it clear? Is it concise? Is it organized? Is the grammar perfect? It must be all of these things.

3. Refusing to “Lead Like [Insert Opposite Gender Here]”

Lately, many women have rebelled against the idea of “working like a man.” But while I support the general intention—women certainly don’t need to be “like a man” in order to be successful—the fact is that, woman or man, there are always things we can learn from the other gender to help advance our careers. Men are, as a whole, assertive, aggressive, task-oriented, risk taking, dominating, and competitive. Women, meanwhile, are instinctual, nurturing, collaborative, communicative, and responsive. There are some excellent qualities in here that both genders can and should adopt. The fact is that all of one—all “male” traits—or all of the other—all “female” traits—is not how to lead.

Which means that you can and should pick and choose from among these traits to use what works for you both personally and professionally. Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard on the topic of “how to be at work” is to know who you are—and to be that. Don’t try to adopt a style that doesn’t fit. That said, your ideal workplace personal is very likely a blend of both masculine and feminine traits. Don’t reject something that could work just because it may be how someone of the opposite sex “would do it.” That there are variations all along the continuum is what makes us individuals, and human.

4. Problematically People-Pleasing

Worried that your assertiveness will be interpreted negatively? This is a mistake more commonly made among women, although men, in trying to be “the nice guy” or being reluctant to brag, often make it, too. But being firm and being nice are not mutually exclusive. You can, and should, be both. Think clearly and dispassionately about fights worth having. Don’t create unnecessary drama. (You know exactly what I mean.) Sometimes our self-doubts cause us to go into situations with our fists clenched: “Do unto others before they have the chance to do it to you.” We create conflicts we don’t have to—at home, at work. Stop doing that.

At the same time, also think clearly before backing down. It’s easy to rationalize the caving in after the fact: “It’s not worth it.” “I’d lose anyway.” “I don’t want to make enemies.” But non-confrontation can become a habit that is hard to break. And most successful people learn, very early on, that if everybody in an organization likes you, you’re probably not in charge of anything. Being in charge means decisions. And decisions mean somebody is not going to like what you decide.

Look for the win-win if you can. But don’t let that, or a need to people-please, stand in the way of the best decision. It’s better to look hard than it is to look soft.

5. Going Mentor-less

One way to stop career progress fast is to try to go it on your own. Finding a mentor—and being a mentor—is critical. And yet most workers are reluctant to ask for mentors, even when they want them. For those searching for a mentor, they key is to look beyond someone who can give you advice. Find a champion, and make yourself valuable enough to warrant his or her time. Mentoring is one thing, but finding someone with actual follow through—someone who will advocate for you—is quite another. It’s the difference between talk and action.

At the same time, once you have something to teach, become a mentor to someone else. Mentors get nearly as much from being teachers as their students do from being mentored. You may be afraid to give those below you too much good advice, for fear of being replaced. That’s a common fear. But being able to tap into the younger worker’s brain, community, and connections is invigorating. Knowing “what the kids are thinking” is what helps keep the veterans on their toes, and thinking fresh. And that’s what career progress is all about, isn’t it?

Follow Peggy on Twitter and Facebook and learn more about Peggy at www.peggydrexler.com