₦airaland Forum

Ode! Are U dis pathetic?If U need Mtn card,let me knw.There is no common sense in what U type.Adhere to simple correction rather than d rubbish u type here.I have said dat I'll not drag words with U cos U are a slow retarded

Ajiswaggs: what is ur problem u dis idiot, shey na ur hand I use edit am or na ur papa buy mb 4 me? U beta be warned

Undilluted truth.Desperate times call for desperate measures.Does of U dat patronised hookup/badoos girls,make sure una collect una used condom and if possible una should shower together and make sure she wash away all d deposit sperm in her cunt.A word is enuf for d wise

swagloverss: "Statistics show that only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs. Somebody''.

As we read on, we are going to see some rather unorthodox things Nigerian women will do in their quest to bag a husband! Some are bizarre, some are skanky and some are downright sad but if you are willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might want to try a few! (Men beware).

In no particular order:

1)Snatching a friend or relation's man.
All is fair in love and war! Rumor has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from so-called friends because it's a jungle out there.

2)Re-inventing themselves.
Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get!

3)Trapping with pregnancy.
This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don't like scandals

4)Praying & Fasting.
This would presumably be an honorable means of obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God & other times it becomes a song permanently.
Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like charm.
Taking his spérm, hair or personal effects to Babalawo. Guys, disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea.

5)Outright Jazz!
My friend recently gisted me about how a tied up, live pigeon had been discovered in a friend's sister-in-law's box. The woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn't been sure if the guy would actually propose so she took the necessary precautions.

6)Putting love potion in his food!
This is classic and timeless but shouldn't it be called a compelling potion? Because in this case, love na by force!

7)Proposing to a guy!
Yes it does happen (Who wears the engagement ring?) Toasting a man's family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being their go-to girl and now his mum had put her foot down that he had to break up with his girlfriend and marry little-miss-went-home-to-mama depending on how much power the family wields, their word may be final.

Asking daddy to get them a husband!
If daddy's a big shot, arranging a husband for you is usually as easy as pie and some men would sell their souls for a large chunk of daddy's money so both parties are happy.

9)Being the man's maga!
Some women believe that when you finally get a man to be interested in you, spoiling him and overlooking his every fault would get you into a white gown faster than an okada. Some men don't mind a woman who houses them, clothes them, feeds them, gives them pocket money, never gets upset with them even when they misbehave and cleans up after them with little or no contribution from them living the dream

10)Giving him unlimited freedom.
Tell me I am number one baby; tell me I am the future mother of your kids and not Amina, Bisi or Ngozi. Women used to want to be the one AND ONLY in their man's life, now being the number one is good enough.

11)Polishing up a low class, barely educated brother in exchange for a ring!
The deal is simple, you send your cleaner, gateman or driver to night school, you give him language lessons, you take him to buy some new clothes and deodorant and teach him to call you honey instead of madam and in exchange, he gets to marry you, share an expensive bedroom and never worry about his bills ever again!

12)Revamping you.
Change your wardrobe, lose 20kg, buy a truckload of Brazilian hair, study the karma-sutra, do an angioplasty and change the age on your birth-certificate to read 22. Botox, plastic surgery, a compulsory gym membership and a body magic also indicated!

13)Becoming a worker in church!
Rumour has it that men go to church to marry, the same rumour also reveals that Greeters Ushers and Lead Soloists have the best exposure. Praise the Lord!

14)Moving to a new town or part of town
This always peaks the men's interest and at the same time you get to run away from your past and the old maid labels!

15)Going for deliverance
Going for deliverance from a spirit husband and sowing a big marriage seed in church! Giving your possessions to the poor, giving a sacrificial offering or just giving one thing to God that would make you weep.

16)Abandoning hopes, dreams and ambitions!
I've heard people say that women looking for a prince charming live unrealistic dreams, virgins are old-school, overly educated women are proud, rich women are not submissive, ambitious women are conceited, women with demanding jobs won't have time for their families, women who want a faithful man are deluded and women who don't get pregnant before wedlock have something wrong with their plumbing! So forsake the masters, don't even dream of a PhD, quit your job, give away all your money and surely a husband will come.

17)Outright Desperation
And if all the above fails, they marry a married man!
He could be your friend's husband, your sister's husband, your cousin's husband, your colleague's husband, even your mother's husband if possible.

Can you blame these women? The average guy has commitment phobia or is out to play till he is all spent before he settles down or is waiting to make his first 5 million before saying I do. Even a man with no future ambition or class, much less finances still knows he could have his pick of the best women out there, once he announces he is looking to settle!

''The last census showed a female-dominated demographic with more women per eligible bachelor.
Family and society constantly put the woman in hot water making her personal successes irrelevant till she bags a man''.

*Drag her out,pour cold ice water on her head to relieved her*

missdebs: lmao *falls into soakaway*.....op u haff expose us,not fair

Zombie!I quote U,go and do d needful.Is what U type here is original?We have seen/read this jargon U cut/edit and paste here b4.What has the rubbish u edit here got to do with d topic been discussed?Irrelevant crap.I dnt need to drag words with a slowpoke like U.

Ajiswaggs: u are sick if u dnt knw. Pls dnt ever qoute me again if u dnt want to die b4 ur time. Idiot

A pathetic one.He should be redeploy to coach any Secondary Sch in his village ASAP

patrickdarlins: keshi...is....a.....clown!!!

Be original not this crap u edit somewhere and paste here

Ajiswaggs: •Are You Bored??
Let's see!!!
Kemi wrote JAMB thrice and her mum was
worried..
Kemi decided to leave home for UNIOSUN to visit her fwends...
During her visit she had malaria and was in their health centre where she called her mum to let her know.
•KEMI: mummy, e kaaro ma
•MUM: bawo ni o?
•KEMI: Mo wa ni UNIOSUN , am on admission.
MUM: Eeeh, omo mi ti ri ADMISSION ooo!!!
KEMI: Nooooo, mummy, malaria ni mo ni o..
MUM: Haa, malaria course ni won fun e... kaa daada, kaa daada o.
KEMI: Won ma discharge mi l'ola.
MUM: Oloun maje... 4 YEARS NI WA LOOO!!!
KEMI: HAAAAA!!! .... Mummy...Epe. E gba wa
oooo....

Grand initiation.U mean sacrifice/Ebo?I understand Muslims faithful go eld praying ground

msmon: Bought mine in Abeokuta for 64K and I'm satisfy because it's big enough. I will snap a pic before we do grand initiation for the ram 2morrow.

What about d one dey advertised here for 5k?Make una nor over stretch una pocket.Borrowing to eat is a curse.When it come to food,eat what U have now and believe God for surplus.Wish Our Brotha in Islam Barka da Sallah

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Sharap! is it only the east dat engaged in these get rich by all means?Was Soka den located in d east?Those Alhaji/Iya Elewe omo recently arrested are Igbo?Grow up

UnimkeAk: Our brothers from the east, come and explain.

I think it is real.If not,can somebody explain all ritual killing/those arrested carrying human parts or trade it?I understand that those who engage in dis blood money dnt live long.May we not fall into the trap of the wicked force

benega: We have all encountered this subject both In films and in the real world. But do u belive it exists??how possible is it in the real world ?? Initiall, I used to dismiss such tales as fantasy but some events I've witnessed have turned my beliefs 360. 4 instance how can a man burn down 5 consecutive shops(shops he rented 4rm pple 4 his wholesale biscuit business) under mysterious circumstances within 3 years? And his fortunes instead of dwindling is growing in leaps and bounds The last shop he burned was my uncle's and after that incident my uncle suffered serious economic recession even till now. I have other stories that I'll share as the thread progresses. If u have any, share it here and also if u think u have an explanation to these eerie occurrences then by all means share it with us. #peace

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Pics dnt lie,U are iindeed a model and radiant shall be ur attribute

Ann2deals: right when i was a child my parent do call me the model but my haters call me the ugly model because at that time i look very ugly but a nice shape and straight legs, as for me i prayed to God about my ugliness he made me a favour, he made me beautiful a bit and until tomorrow i still remain the model but for my haters they have wondering spirit in them till tomorrow, i so much love my nickname because it makes me feel like i am among.

:-XPipe dream.He'll rather pitch his tent with/in FeedeePig than APes party[quote author=Prinx35 post=/post/26830273]Good development... I sees Obiano in APC before 2015.[/quote]

U are free to create a thread on such topic.Abeg,wetin dey say Obiano do

Fantaswrita: Hmm

Today is Arafat day and Jumat day. How come there is no Islamic post

How much is it?

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Ann2deals: now your child is wonderful i believe the mother is courageous and God is marvelous, congatulobia papa wonderful keep it up, help multiply the nation.

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;DFeeddepig!!! Power

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;DWhat goes around comes around.Law of Karma@work.Hope Foluke Daramola is watching dis sha

:-XThe evil that women do'abortion'lives after them

It would be a dream come true.Make he carry his badluck/arrogance go

No men of honour again.Sebi he denied it b4

:-XSpot on.Let Jonathan do the needful.Afterall,he told us he knows those haramites parasite in his govt/party.what about Modu sheriff?

DONGOYARO1: Senator Khalifa Ahmed Zanna who represents Borno Central Senatorial District is a memeber of the PDP. So if you say he is a Sponsor of Boko Haram, what you mean in essence is that memebers of Jonathan's party, the PDP are Boko sponsors

What evidence do u have with ur assertion dat sahara reporters/opposition are the one fanning the ember of insurgency in the country?Did Gen P Aziza Mentioned Sahara reporters/APC?

successking: Shekau is dead, but sahara reporters, a known book haram sponsor whose ally has received a devastating blow in the fight against the unity of Nigeria can edit and report anything to assuage the lost of its investment in the sponsorship of boko haram.

But, I like to remind them that no amount of malicious reporting will change the visible truth that Nigeria has won the fight against book haram.

God Bless Nigeria.

Aren't this 2 useless goats are Bokoskite sponsors?GEJ is indeed a weak president,I trust Baba Aremu to have done the needful on y'all parasite since

DONGOYARO1: Senator Ali Ndume represents Damboa/Chibok /Gwoza constituency at the national assembly. He is actually from Gwoza and his home town is currently under the occupation of the Haramites.

Senator Khalifa Ahmed Zanna representing Borno Central also allude to the fact that half of Borno state is in the hands of the Haramites

U dis boko sympatizer,Ur days are numbered

DONGOYARO1: As we write now, Bama is still in the complete control of the Haramites icluding Damboa, Gwoza, Marte, Limankara etc