₦airaland Forum

in as much as FFK, looks like what he describes Ali Modu, u cant take away the fact he said some truth.. plus i like his boldness

its quite unfortunate Jibril has allowed himself to cause chaos, and instability, ive seen his qualifications, thus its disappointing cos i felt he should know better.... My take is, if he feels any ill in the assembly, he should speak out in the house and debate it till he gets the majority with him, Democracy is not about been just, its about the majority.

Sir.. Lol. We still Nigerians na.. Haba abi u from where?

Thought for a moment.. I want to say mothers are a gift we should all cherish. Taking the pains for nine months that brought us all into this world, it's sad when kids turn out to be pains in their flesh, they grow to feel equal and challenge a woman who has fed you from the womb, breast fed u to the point where you had to learn to feed yourself. A wise one said money in the hands of a man leads to adventures and extravagance, but in the hands of a woman it builds her home. Mothers never get tired of loving their children despite the pains we could cause them knowingly or unknowingly. Father's work day and nyt to see their kids have a better future than theirs, they might not always be at home, but rest assured they won't bear to see u die in need, till they probably have sold all possession dey can lay their hands on. Ladies and gentlemen.. How many of us can boldly say we' make our parents happy or at the thought of you, they smile. How will our parents feel when dey tune to Ait or channels only to see our faces been paraded for armrobbery, murder, stealing and other evil vices. Wouldn't they rather be proud when dey see us as role models for the up coming generation? Let us have at the back of our mind that if we can't make our parents proud, u cannot make your nation proud. You might say some parents are evil. Evil is darkness, once there is light it eliminates darkness, u cannot be a success and that "evil parents" seek your downfall how can u be an "Obama" a Governor or a Minister and "Evil" parent seek your fall? These are misnomer thoughts we shouldn't harbor... Be a responsible Child and our mother Nigeria will smile on your face.. Yours sincerely Amasianya Stanley

Laughing out loud ooh!! COC Wrote : If you like a girl, say it!!! Stop waiting for her to post picture, and you start writing under it Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow! !! Are you an ambulance?

Kidnappers in Rivers State have devised a new means of getting at their victims and making their families part with huge sums of money as ransoms. It was gathered that kidnappers had begun to send text messages, inviting their victims for job interviews but they hold them hostage as soon as they turn up at the addresses given to them by the abductors. A civil servant in the state, who simply identified himself as Joseph, narrated how a friend’s cousin was kidnapped after honouring an invitation for a job interview. Joseph said in a text message, “Don’t honour any job interview invitation via sms if you did not apply for it. A family friend’s cousin got one of such sms and he attended the supposed interview only to be held hostage. “His family was contacted and asked to pay N5m. As at Saturday, the kidnappers told the family that they would accept N2.5 million, which the family cannot afford. “The guys (kidnappers) are threatening to kill him (their victim) by sunday if the money is not paid latest Sunday.” When contacted, the state Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Nnamdi Omoni, said that he would brief the Anti- kidnapping Unit of the State Police Command on the new development. Omoni promised that the command would put measures in place to ensure that those behind the dastardly act were arrested and brought to book.

The Real Madrid superstar had waited 12 long years to finally lead his country to international glory - but was cruelly denied the chance to be Portugal's hero due to a knee injury Once again it all ended in tears. A young Cristiano Ronaldo was inconsolable as Portugal lost the Euro 2004 final to Greece in Lisbon and was distraught again at the Stade de France on Sunday evening after he was stretchered off the pitch in the first half. Ronaldo was just 19 and playing his first international tournament back in 2004, but the Real Madrid forward captains his country these days and was relishing the chance of leading Portugal to glory at Euro 2016. Cristiano had hit two goals against Hungary to help his team through the group stages and produced one of the tournament's memorable moments as he leapt magnificently to head home the opener in a 2-0 win over Wales in the semi-finals on Wednesday.

1. The lawyer hopes you get in trouble 2. The doctor hopes you get sick 3. The police hopes you become a criminal 4. The teacher hopes you are born stupid 5. The landlord hopes that you don't build a house 6. The prostitute hopes you don't marry 7. The dentist hopes that your teeth decays 8. The mechanic hopes that your car breaks down 9. The coffin-maker wants you dead 10. Only a thief wishes you prosperity in Life! Abeg Hug a thief next to u

OK, noted, tnks

Seriously, anything is possible in this change atmosphere

Relationship opinions are like a nose, everyone has one and I’m about to give you mine! I get ticked off when I see girls acting cold towards a guy and giving him silent treatment because of a small mistake, just because a bitter human somewhere set a rule that ‘you should ignore his calls to teach him a lesson’. SMH We are no longer in kindergarten my friends. Some dating rules are so outdated and they need to die like yesterday!!! Here are some of them: 1. A woman should not approach a man Excuse you? Some men fail to approach ladies because they are shy. If you are at a party and fancy someone (who appears to be single of course) by all means approach him and introduce yourself. Avoid looking all thirsty though. Men like women who ooze of confidence. You could be missing out on a tone of potential boyfriend/husband materials following this dumb ass rule. It’s 2016! Make the first move! black_couple_friends 2. 90 day rule I really don’t know what Steve Harvey was thinking when he came up with this rule…it’s just plain nonsense. A man can wait for 90 days to get that cookie and still dump you. rolls-eyes 3. A man pays for everything ‘All the women who’re independent, throw ya hands up at me…’ quoting Destiny’s Child, it’s 2016 people. You will not die if you split bills every now and then. Learn to treat your man too. Men too appreciate being treated every now and then. Not just on Valentines Day and birthdays. Photo: ElitHeant Photo: ElitHeant 4. Never text/call first LOL. Haven’t we all been there? Dying to text or call a guy but playing hard to get and waiting all day for the guy to call you instead? With age, I have learnt that the key to a healthy relationship is communication. Pour your heart out, it’s better to get rejected and move on to someone that appreciates you rather than be in a position where you have no idea what your position in the relationship is. Just call and get it off your chest. Take initiative. If he’s not that into you, move on to the next guy. His loss… black-girl-phone 5. Ignore calls That’s the best punishment we can think of? So damn childish. Ignoring calls only show your level of immaturity. Like I said, communication is key. Lay your cards on the table and let your significant other know what exactly you expect of him if you’re in disagreement. He’s not an angel to know why you’re mad or why you’re showering him with attitude and mood swings. Image: Omgvoice Image: Omgvoice 6. Love has a timeline No. You don’t have to get married one year after the engagement, or get married at 30 or have kids at God knows what age. Let the love just take its beautiful course and everything will fall into place when the time and circumstances are right. Don’t force it.

A Chieftain of the All Progressives Congress, APC, in Edo State, Comrade Roy Osariemen has said that the entire people of Orhionmwon will remain committed to the cause of delivering the party’s candidate, Mr. Godwin Obaseki in the governorship election. He said that the entire Local Government Area was absolutely behind the candidature of Godwin Obaseki despite the emergence of Pastor Osagie Ize-Iyamu, who hails from the area as the PDP candidate. Speaking with journalists in Benin yesterday, Osariemen, a member of the APC LGA executive, said, “we know Orhionmwon is very peculiar in this election as one of the major opposition candidates is from Orhionmwon, yet, we are assuring him (Obaseki) that he will get our 100% support.” He also played down reports of the crisis in the party in the area saying the party had set the machinery in motion to settle all issues.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY, AKA “BENVINGUT, UMTITI!” Samuel Umtiti is coming to Barça from Lyon, a 25m transfer (straight up, no incentives) on a 5-year deal. Prima facie , so what, right? Those jackasses finally signed a young CB. Barça Twitter brought rumblings of overpaying, etc, etc. but let’s look at what really happened here, shall we? In a market where CBs are the gold standard, Barça got just about the hottest young CB prospect in world football for a comparative pittance, especially as he had three years left on his contract. All the names being bandied about such as Marquinhos, would have cost at least 40m. Aymeric Laporte? 40-plus. Stones? Bidding starts at 50. Barça pulled off a brilliant move in snagging Umtiti, a player that a lot of culers are kinda in the dark about because they aren’t obsessive football freaks like some. The deal on Umtiti is, in a few words, Mascherano on steroids, with hops. He has gobs of pace with excellent closing speed, and wins aerial duels with a regularity that makes him like a utility. His closing speed means that he can sort problems without being rash or sliding in, so he wins a lot of tackles by being in the right position. He can also play left back, not like a slumming CB but like a proper left back. Oh, and he scores goals . There are so many good things about this transfer, starting with the price, which isn’t enough to build the crazy expectations than can saddle many a transfer. At 25m, Umtiti would be classified as a mid-priced transfer for a giant club such as Barça. There will be pressure, but not of the craziness that would have come with the price tag for a player such as Marquinhos. He will also have time to develop, which makes it easy to see why Luis Enrique insisted on Mascherano staying. Because for all of the guff that Mascherano takes, he understands how to be a Barça CB better than any CB on the club, including Pique. He will impart that knowledge to Umtiti, in training and matches. The club also gains a young CB. La Masia is a cradle of wee, gifted midfielders, but is kinda crap at producing the front and back ends of things. Up front, Barça is set. In back, there is Pique, Mascherano, and everybody else. Mathieu is a old man without a meniscus. He will be useful this season, but look for Umtiti to pass him in the depth chart pretty quickly. Vermaelen is serviceable. The end, now that Bartra is off to Dortmund. More importantly, Umtiti, at age 22, is for the future. The club is old at key spots. A quality CB, and a young one, was essential for Barça. It’s unfortunate that the club isn’t also going after another young’un despite the Mauricio Lemos rumors, but look for that position to be further reinforced in coming windows. Umtiti also has DM-like ball skills, and is very comfortable moving forward in attack. It’s difficult to find a “Barça CB” in a world where more traditional CBs are revered. As good as a player such as Thiago Silva is, there is something to be said for a smaller, fast, mobile CB who gets up and back on the pitch with alacrity. That is Umtiti . The other cool thing about the transfer is that it’s nice to see some brotha back in the club. I remember the days of Thuram, Abidal, Henry and Eto’o. From this seat, a global club should look like the globe — Spaniards, South Americans, French, white, black, shades in between. Plus it gives the more backward- thinking Catalans something to huff about. Now, here’s the caveat: He’s a young player, so be patient. He will make errors. Old players also make errors, but there is more patience for those than with young players, especially young players that cost anything more than a warm beverage at a coffee shop. Never forget how cruel the fanbase was to Txigrinski. It takes a very strong player not to be bothered by that kinda crap. It won’t stop people from doing it, even as it should. The Umtiti move also solidifies what is shaping up to be an excellent summer for Barça, and one that is, of necessity, youth-focused. Neymar renewed, for a 5-year deal. He’s 24. Umtiti is 22. Denis Suarez, who will return to the club this summer from loan, is 22. Even if those three moves are all that the club does, it will have been an excellent summer. But rest assured that more is coming, since the club maintains that Umtiti was signed from transfer kitty goodies left over from last season. This means the club has 68m (60+Bartra proceeds) to spend this summer. Let’s see what happens. In the meantime, welcome a new CB to the fold, and watch the France/Iceland match at Euros, where buzz is that he will be starting for Les Bleus. P.S. The last player that Barça signed from Lyon didn’t exactly suck, did he?

Name: Nkiruka Mbong Country: Nigerian Date of Birth:March 21 1918. HOBBIES; - Catching frogs, snakes, lizards. -Catching bullets with bare hands. -Jugging up & down & collecting rock particles from the moon. MY RECORD -Fought with a snake & broke it's neck -Skinned a crocodile alive. -Killed the dead sea -Held my breath under water for 2months, 3weeks, 6hours, 5minutes,45seconds. GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT -Surfed on hot lava while the volcano was erupting. -Fluent in 32languages -Killed twitter bird SILLY THINGS DONE -Surfing on river Nile & Murchison falls -Snow boarding on mount Kilimanjaro -Sky diving from outer space MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT -Couldn't kill 100dogs with just a single punch, only 99 died instantly & the one that was left went to join the circus. PROUDEST MOMENT -When a cobra died after biting me -When i saved the planet by diverting an asteroid with just one kick -When i cut off a guys neck with just my bare little finger because he jilted me. SOMETHING ABOUT ME -Don't tell me......i know I'm very gentle...slap my left cheek and I'll definitely turn the right cheek for you to slap....then be rest assured that, your death will most definitely look like a fatal accident. Yes, I'm that gentle................LOLZZZZZZZ ****# I_REALLY_DONT_LIKE_TO_BRAG **

Vanguard news —GOVERNOR Okezie Ikpeazu of Abia State has filed an appeal against Monday’s judgment of a Federal High Court in Abuja which removed him from office as governor and asked the Appeal Court to set aside the judgment of Justice Okon Abang. Ikpeazu, in a notice of appeal filed by his lawyer, Chief Adegboyega Awomolo, faulted the high court judgment on five grounds, saying that the Federal High Court lacked the power to order him to vacate the seat of Abia State Governor. The Governor argued that “the trial judge erred in law when he ordered as a consequential order that the appellant vacates his office as the Governor of Abia state immediately when there was no jurisdiction in the Federal High Court to remove or vacate the occupier of the office of the governor of a state or order the removal of such officer after the unsuccessful challenge of the result of the election at the Tribunal and swearing in of the appellant as the governor”. According to him, “the only power, authority and order exercisable by the Federal High Court was to disqualify the candidate from contesting the election based on section 31(6) of the Electoral Act 2010”. Governor Ikepazu also faulted the judgment on the decision that he did not pay his tax for the years 2011, 2012 and 2013, when due, when, according to him, “he was a public officer whose tax deduction was under Pay As You Earn, PAYE, scheme where tax deductions were taken from the source of his monthly salary by the tax authorities who issued all the tax receipts and certificates”. He further argued that the Abia State Board of Internal Revenue Service that issued him with the tax certificates had not declared the certificates forged. Again, that the trial court did not invite the issuing authorities to give evidence in the course of the trial. The Governor also faulted the court verdict on the grounds that the plaintiff, Dr. Samson Uchechukwu Ogah “was not a staff of the Abia Board of Internal Revenue and did not call any staff of the board to testify that the tax certificates were forged”. Ikpeazu therefore accused the trial judge, Justice Okon Abang of violating his right to fair hearing by embarking on judicial investigation without giving him the opportunity to address the court on the issue. “The learned trial judge erred in law when he held that the appellant presented false information to the Independent National Electoral Commission by his igneous meticulous study and investigation of documents filed in courts in the recess of his chambers and thereby violated the right of the appellant to fair hearing”, the notice of appeal noted. He faulted the Judge on his findings, saying, “the judge had no duty to investigate the contents of documents dumped on the court in the recess of his chambers with a view to finding for the plaintiff”. Meanwhile, the PDP has also rejected the judgment and filed a separate appeal urging the Appeal court to reverse the decision of the lower court. Meanwhile, the National Deputy Treasurer of Ohanaeze Ndigbo Youth Council, Dr. Kingsley Chidozie Lawrence has advised Governor Ikpeazu not to allow the court verdict to derail his development plan, urging him to remain focused. Ogah can’t be governor—Nwosu Similarly, one of the PDP governorship aspirants who filed a tax forgery suit against Gov. Okezie Ikpeazu, Sir Friday Nwosu, has faulted the judgment of the Federal High Court, stressing that he remained the rightful candidate of the party. Nwosu’s suit which has suffered several delays is still pending before Justice A.I. Alagoa of the Federal High Court, Owerri. Adoption of written addresses by parties has been slated for July 4 and 5, 2016. Nwosu who spoke in a telephone interview withr Vanguard stated that the court erred in law when it declared Ogah as governor when he refused to accept the result of the December 8, 2014 PDP primaries and petitioned the national leadership for a rerun of the exercise.

Teacher Yohana bleeps' letter made waves across Argentina, as she called on Barcelona star Lionel Messi to reconsider his decision to retire Lionel Messi's retirement from the Argentina national team has turned the country upside down in the past few days, with an entire nation stunned by the news after Chile beat them in the Copa America final. Argentina president Mauricio Macri, Buenos Aires mayor Horacio Rodriguez Larreta and football god Diego Maradona have begged for the Barcelona forward to change his mind, but perhaps the most moving message of all has come via Entre Rios teacher Yohana bleeps. Her passionate plea quickly went viral among the millions of Argentina supporters desperate for Messi to reconsider his international retirement. The letter in full: "Lionel Messi, "You will probably never read this letter. But I will write it all the same, not as a football fan but as an Argentine teacher, in this profession that I chose and love as you love your own. "I could write to you about your marvelous talents in the most popular sport in our country, the pleasure it gives me to be one of the generations lucky enough to see you show off the magic in your boots, or about the admiration you awake in every country in the world. But that would only serve to repeat cliches. Instead I will write for your help in a much tougher challenge than you have ever faced, I want you to help me in the difficult mission of moulding the behaviour of those kids who see you as a football hero and an example to follow. "No matter how much love and dedication I put into my work, I will never receive from my students that incredible fascination they feel for you. Now they will see their biggest idol give up. I beg you not to give the satisfaction to mediocre people; those who, frustrated by the thousands of dreams they didn't achieve aim their resentment at a football player, those who speak about the rest because it is free and easy to do so. You are hearing this from a teacher who, despite the distance between us, deals with that nasty Argentine habit of thinking somebody else's job is simple, that scoring goals is as easy as building a house or a future for a person. It is that sick compulsion to bring someone down, or turn into idiotic judges that slam with contempt and arrogance the performance of others, only valuing victories and writing off mistakes as failures, those same errors that make us human and keep us learning. "Please do not quit, don't let my students think that this country only cares about winning and coming first. Do not show them that no matter how successful you are in life, you will never manage to keep the rest happy and, worse still, do not make them feel they must live to make others happy. Do not send them this mistaken message that, despite overcoming so many adversities, fighting from a young age to become the triumphant man you are today, all that is tainted by the critics of those envious people who deep down would kill to be like you. "If something like you, who had your family at your side, who has a hefty personal wealth and the support of so many people, cannot do it, how can they believe they are capable of carrying on having to face so many battles, day- in, day-out? "I do not talk to them about how wonderfully Messi plays football, but of the thousands of free kicks he practised to manage to put the ball in the angle beyond the reach of any goalkeeper. I tell them of the Messi who put up with countless painful injections to keep chasing his dream; the Messi who with all the money he has earned helps other kids like him with their own difficult situations; I tell them of the adult Messi, the man who raised a family and deals with the most important job in the world, being a good parent; the Messi who stops a fan who mobs him in the middle of a match from being harmed; the Messi who can even miss a penalty because our faults make us humans, and that shows them even the greatest of all time is imperfect as well. "Do not give up, do not put the shirt with our country's colours away, because when you pull the shirt on you become an Argentine that represents us all. Not all of us await medals and cups to feel wonderfully proud you are one of us. Please do not make my students feel that coming second is a defeat, and that the value of a person depends on how full his trophy cabinet is, or that losing a game is to lose glory. "My students need to understand that the noblest heroes, be they doctors, soldiers, teachers or football players, are those who give the best of themselves for the good of others, even knowing that nobody will value them more for that, knowing that if they do manage a triumph it will belong to everyone while if they fail it will be their failure alone. Even so they keep trying. But above all, they have heroism and courage, when they fight and overcome losses with bravery and integrity, even with the whole universe saying we will never make it. "And one day they will enjoy the greatest victory: they will feel happy being themselves, with the demons they had to face in order to make it no longer an issue. "Everybody talks about balls, I believe in the strength of your heart."

How do I use the airtel free basics

Handsomess.. Hmm. Issokey

I have one dell 1545. In Abuja too

Emeka Ugwuonye..........The Due Process Advocates (DPA) HOW FAST THINGS HAVE CHANGED! This time last year, the predominant view of Nigerians was how Buhari would transform Nigeria and save the country from itself. But today, the b predominant view is how Nigeria could be saved from Buhari. In a country with the world's worst healthcare system, how could you fire 16000 medical doctors from the public health sector? And how could you do that when the Minister of labour is a medical doctor? How could Nigeria move the hands of the clock of civilization back to military dictatorship where we freeze people's bank accounts on the whims of a government official without due process. And worse still, how could all this be happening and the average educated person remains undisturbed and unaware?

Abeg, it's not the earpiece! The wrong use of anything is dangerous... Was he going to listen to music in dream world? Of what use? Lesson for us all. Rip

PRESS STATEMENT BY IKE EKWEREMADU DEMOCRACY ON TRIAL I presented myself to the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) High Court today as an ordinary citizen of this great nation to plead NOT GUILTY to charges I did not and could not have committed. It is deeply troubling to note that people in high places who swore to uphold the law have dwindled into purveyors of falsehood and rumours who seek to smear and tarnish the reputation of law abiding and responsible citizens as well as cripple the hallowed institutions of democracy. It is all the more disheartening that people who should know better use the colour of their office to pursue private vendetta against people they disagree with. This grotesque display of vindictiveness, arrogance, and mindless targeting of innocent citizens should find no sanctuary in our democracy. Using the machinery of justice to create disorder is a dangerous and invidious scheme that ultimately will lead Nigeria down the road to perdition. It is Senator Bukola Saraki and Senator Ike Ekweremadu today, who knows whose turn it will be next? I am a law-abiding citizen and believe in the rule of law and all the rights and privileges it advertises. But, even at that, it is only in my place not to commit crime, but way out of my reach not to be accused of one, especially when instruments of power become apparatuses for oppression of the innocent and voices of opposition. Indeed, I, in no way or fashion, claim to be above the law, just that I believe that the law should not be used as an instrument to bludgeon innocent citizens into submitting to the untamed wishes and caprices of witch-hunters. However, I put my trust in God, the court, and the overwhelming solidarity of the good people of Nigeria. When the dust settles, Nigerians will see clearly that this charge is nothing but meretricious thrash. Time, occasions, and provocations like this will teach their own lessons. I hope that one chief lesson will be that democracy differs markedly from military rule and that public officer should never subvert the foundations of democracy by prioritizing the rule of man over the rule of law. Let us make no mistake about this: it is not Senator Ike Ekweremadu or Senator Bukola Saraki or the other accused persons that are on trial; rather the hallowed democratic principles of separation of powers, rule of law, the legislature, and indeed democracy itself are on a ridiculous trial. Mere anarchy is unleashed upon the land, but our courage must not fall apart. No condition is permanent and nothing lasts forever. For me, I find great comfort in the immortal words of late Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe who said that history will vindicate the just and the wicked will not go unpunished. SENATOR IKE EKWEREMADU, PhD, CFR Deputy President of the Senate, Federal Republic of Nigeria June 27, 2016

3 years in pre-nursery school
6 years in primary school
6 years in secondary school
4 or 5-6 years in university
1 year of strike, protest & co
1 year of youth service
And you will luckily get a job of N50,000 & someone will
just say "Skiborobo skibo" and be making millions, and his
friend will reply "It's young john the wicked producer" and
be making millions as well. And you say the person who
introduced education is a good person3 years in pre-nursery school
6 years in primary school
6 years in secondary school
4 or 5-6 years in university
1 year of strike, protest & co
1 year of youth service
And you will luckily get a job of N50,000 & someone will
just say "Skiborobo skibo" and be making millions, and his
friend will reply "It's young john the wicked producer" and
be making millions as well. And you say the person who
introduced education is a good person3 years in pre-nursery school
6 years in primary school
6 years in secondary school
4 or 5-6 years in university
1 year of strike, protest & co
1 year of youth service
And you will luckily get a job of N50,000 & someone will
just say "Skiborobo skibo" and be making millions, and his
friend will reply "It's young john the wicked producer" and
be making millions as well. And you say the person who
introduced education is a good person

Girl : I' m warning you , my Mummy is coming back soon . . AKPOS : But I' m not doing anything . . Girl : That' s why I 'm warning you , Hurry up CASHIER : This is the 5 th movie ticket you 've bought tonight Sir , Why ?. . AKPOS : Yes, that I. diot at the entrance keeps tearing it TEACHER: What 's your favorite flower ?. . AKPOS : Chrysanthemum . . TEACHER: Spell it . . AKPOS : I was joking o . My favorite flower is Rose R -O -S - E Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful . Akpos walked straight to the ugly girl . Akpos : Hello ! Ugly girl: Hi !! Akpos : Wanna dance? Ugly Girl : Yes ( excited ) Akpos : OK , Go and dance, I wanna talk to your friend . Papa Akpos : My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do ? Akpos 'Teacher : - Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell "LION " . . . Papa Akpos : Ah Ah . . . You know say na SMALL pikin . . . . . . You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like " MOSQUITO" . . . . . . Teacher : Behind every successful man there is a woman . What do we learn from this ? Akpos : We should stop wasting time in studies and find that WOMAN Teacher : Make a Sentence with Big Akpos : The Ram Is Big Teacher : Make it longer Akpos : The Ram is big ooooooo OPERATOR: 911, wat 's your emergency? AKPOS : Two girls are fighting over me . . OPERATOR: So? . . AKPOS : The ugly one is winning. Teacher : Who can state one diff btw a Bird and a Fly ? . . Akpos : A bird can fly , but a fly cannot bird.