I am more amused at the discouragement from people based on the fact that the guy is a perfectionist. In reality, perfectionism has levels and also the degree of awareness of the perfectionist also matters.

There are perfectionists whose level of awareness makes them extremely tolerant of others.

In fact, what makes perfectionsm debilitating is the inabilty of the perfectionst to do well in life because they seek perfect situations, environments, or conditions to act. And this could create setbacks/ slow progress for them in life. If he is doing well in life, it means he has his perfectionsm under control.

Come to think of it, there are perks associated with perfectionism too; perfectionists are OFTEN LOYAL, they Keep promises, they are neat, and if they have the resources, they value the family and seek the best for the family cos they strive for a perfect family. However, fear usually creeps in for their partner: they fear being rejected, or being seen as not 'good enough' cos perfectionists exude that mien when they are around people. If you can uphold your basic hygiene qualities, and be accountable in your dealings with them, then you would enjoy your relationship with an ENLIGHTENED perfectionist.

Another issue raised is Age. Age, no matter the gap, is just a number, a 24 yr old lady might exhibit the smartness and maturity of a 40yr old person and someone in their 40s might still be acting childish; Celine Dion, Joke Silva, Macron of France, etc married people 20yrs older than them...and their relationships are a reference point.

Of the issues highlighted, i think religion is the most controversial. A family is supposed to be ONE in everything. Anything that threatens that ONEess is to be dealt with ASAP. Religious diversity often creates division, even among the children, later in life. So, if there's a reason i think you should THINK WELL over this relationship, it is religion...except one of you is genuinely indifferent about it!

lmm4real:

The PHD comes with maturity down here u need to be at list above 40years

In Nigeria, some got theirs in their late 20s and early 30s. I got mine in my mid-30s. However, it does not rule out the fact that there are many who bagged theirs their 40s(and above). Situations vary...

I'm sure he married under pressure. Pressure from family, friends and society at large. Most people, man or woman, in that age range usually settle down with someone they might not have considered if not for pressure. It's also obvious the girl's father is rich, he (the groom) must have borrowed loan just to prove he ain't a push over when it comes to spending on the wedding. He had forgotten that after wedding comes marriage. And for him to have ended the marriage so soon, he must have been seeing lots of red flags during courtship...marriage only made it worse. He must have committed suicide because he saw himself as a failure; he waited that long to marry, yet it ended swiftly like a pack of cards. Don't, out of pressure, make important decisions about life. If you see a red flag, don't ignore, instead ask yourself "can i cope with this if it gets 10 times worse?". If the answer is 'yes' proceed, if not, let go of such relationship, regardless of your age....your happiness is key!

visijo:
RIP

People do puzzle me much.
Yes we are preventing the spread of covid 19
But wearing a mask while you are alone in the car is like wearing a condom while you are alone in the bed my brother

I do that. On two occasions, i left home without wearing the mask while alone in the car. First time, i saw a known person by the roadside, picked him up and continued driving. By then i had even forgotten about the mask but immediately i remembered, i stylishly put it on. The second occassion, i was stopped by some touts, i had to wind down to talk to them, during which i suddenly remembered i had to wear the mask. Since then, before driving out of my compound, i wear it, even if i am alone in the car...So, its not out of place cos you never can tell what happens...

marianays:
Hello guys, please no insult.am just so confused on what to do.
I had this strong crush on a guy I met some months ago,we exchange numbers,I thought he was going to ask me out of,he just used to say hello,hi, how you doing bla bla bla.


Thanks.

You had to post this twice . It shows how urgent you'd like it treated. But, you know what?- you need to calm down!!!!.

First, what you have is a crush, nothing more!. Crushes of this nature cloud one's sense of reasoning and more often than not, a wrong decision is often taken at such a critical period. This explains why you expressly rushed to tell him your feelings....and why you're so anxious to get a response. You need to know that love, true one, comes with tranquillity not ecstasy; tranquility, because you know the person well enough, you know his strength and you can cope with his weaknesses-as such you deeply appreciate his fallibility and you've realistic expectations of him. However, ecstasy is often associated with fantasy and illusion, hence the strong feelings one experiences which usually die in the twinkle of an eye.

Back to the guy, how well do you know him?. How well do you love and know yourself?. Arent you seeking in him what you lack?- if that's the case, you'd be disappointed and end up worse off. A guy who sleeps around for whatever reason, shows low self esteem...and his audacity to tell you, should be seen as a red flag and not a virtue of sincerity.

So, my advice; don't pester him for a response, else he runs away or stays and treats you like trash. Continue relating normally with him. Don't sacrifice your integrity or values on the alter of a crush-ladden POTENTIAL relationship. Above all, love yourself (I can't emphasise this enough)....If he is sincere, your values would attract and keep him....and if he is not for real, your values would keep him at bay.....

MZrapper:


Your history speaks volume of the level of your IQ... who would take you seriously?

.

Madam, it is not, 'your history speaks volume' ; the grammatically correct way to put it, is, 'your history speaks volumes'.(volumes not 'volume')

Also, elsewhere you said, "birds of same feathers". That's also wrong!. It is 'birds of a feather'. (notice 'a' instead of 'same' and 'feather' not 'feathers')

In another response, you said "..your command of English is very bad..". There are many grammatical blunders here; it should be "your command of the English Language is poor" (notice article 'the', and addition of 'Language' to 'English' and the use of 'poor' instead of 'very bad').

Why did i have to point out these blunders of yours?; it's to show you, you're always in the middle and no one is perfect!. Learn to look away from others' imperfections...and, if you have to show them, correct them with humility-that's the way the eyes of the world would be blind to your own imperfections too.

And remember, excessive display of superiority, is a sign of inferiority complex!.

By the way, refrain from bringing people's parents into your arguments. It gives you away as someone without manners and respect for her own parents too.


Peace!

It sure did!. I didn't know LISTENING was given any preferential treatment in CRS . I would have given it more attention while preparing for the exam.

CheesyTee:


Listening messed it up. Sorry bro

Thanks. I have to do so ASAP.

Tojued:


Ouch. Really close shave. No time restriction on resitting. You can apply tonight to write on the next available date.

Ielts results out...S8.5,L7,W7,R7.5. ...I may have to resit. How soon can one reapply for the exam?.

If I knew the movie was by AY, I wouldn't have bothered to see it; traditionally, his movies are nothing to write home about. AY seems to be taking viewers of his movies for granted. He doesn't seem to care if his movie s are making any positive impact or not. The idea of hyping movies, and featuring top rated actors, with near zero content seems to be paying off-and that's all that matters to him.

The OP gave an unbiased analysis, except for rating it 5/10, cos for me, it is 2.5/10. I would have felt happier if the money spent seeing the movie was given out in alms to the beggers on the streets.

Creativity makes 'businesses' thrive... She is stepping up her game, let her be biko!

KSA actually worked under BABA Sala...He(BABA Sala) groomed him(KSA).

izzou:


Nice calculations from Atiku

From what I'm seeing, the North Central will decide Nigeria's next president

I'm a big fan of Adeshina, but I hope he gets his Agricultural ministry back[b]

Let the games begin [/b]

Adeshina coming back as a Minister is more of demotion. He is currently the President of African Development Bank.