₦airaland Forum

vicardino:
Thanks sir

my brother is u I will thank for appreciating my views .am a civil engineer consultant n v alot of corpers working under me.u dnt want to know how these corpers r messing up because of bad orientation

ofegge73:
Good evening Nairalanders, I have no idea how to go about making this as clear as possible, but truth is I married a stranger.
I met this Lady in 2012,we became friendly, and talked on consistently.
At the time she was on NYSC in Ikom cross River State. By the way she is from Obosi in Anambra state.
She was visiting me in Lagos every week, of course I paid for her flight tickets back and forth for all the times she visited till we got married and beyond. I have never let her use the bus or public transport to anywhere, it's either I drive her, she drives or a taxi.
A few months to her passing out, she told me she was pregnant, so I thought I would marry her and cut the drama short, but that was my undoing.
We got married, but all through, she spent more time with her parents and siblings.
Fast forward to 2016,my wife got a job through my sister in Abuja, and everything got worse, she wouldn't get back home till very late everyday.
Her explanation was that her boss delayed her.
I got to find out she was dating her boss later, even caught her at hotels in ikeja G. R,.A and on the island with her boss at very odd hours of the night.
Don't get me wrong, I am okay, I live in a 5 bedroom duplex in ikeja, the house is very comfortable and cosy, and almost completing my personal building at awoyaya in ibeju. i am not a poor man.
Well, she gave birth to my first child a boy, but insisted on C. S, then my daughter, through C. S too. All were elective!
She wouldn't come back home,and spent more time at her parents than in our home, always saying she needs herMum to watch the kids,while she is out, we got maids, but she was so violent with them, they all left.
Fast forward to 2017,i asked my wife to come back home, she refused, well I told her the marriage wouldn't work anymore,as she wasnt living with me for the past two years.
She immediately went and petitioned me at office of the Public defender in Lagos State citing domestic violence, irresponsibility as to my kids and stuff, I have always provided food, toiletries, medicals,as well as pay my children's school fees till this minute. But she teamed up with her Mum and brother to make up so many fabrications because they demanded I pay a stipend to them every month, and I said no, I won't do that, your daughter, my wife is in your house cos she wants to be there, not because I sent her away or anything like that.Her father is the only person who is sane, but the man is a pensioner and can't help himself much, so she treats him with intimidation She reported me to the police and all agencies you can think of, well at last they conducted their investigations and found out she was telling lies.
I am no more interested in keeping her, and she has vowed that I can't divorce her or I die, but my kids are the issue now.
I need sound advice on how to go about this.
Please no mockery, I am in dire need of good advice. Thanks.

in d first place y allowing yr pregnant wife stay with her siblings nt dat u r nt in d country.their is difference between bf/ gf relationship n marriage.d first few years of marriage r meant for bonding n understanding each other more . reading thru op write up u can c he c d way he is stressing dat he is taking care of d family financially.what about d emotional side.marriage is nt all about giving yr wife money n satisfying her financially.what of her emotional needs.n mind u emotional needs dnt mean sex alone.there was a couple I counsel in my church.dey were working in different states.d marriage was almost collapsing.dey were always quarreling until one day I told d woman to come alone.u know what d lady said?she said she was missing affection n sex from her husband because dey work in different states.n most time she wants smbdy to talk to.she could nt express herself n slowly d anger n annoyance begins to build up.hence constant quarrel.if these couple just sat down n really talk sincerely to each other,dis problem will just go naturally

vicardino:
How many women have you had encounters with? Sometimes, stories like this are good not for you to comment on but to learn from and take note of the red flags which the Op didn't take note. Don't be too emotional and logical when dealing with women

my brother no b quarrel .v been married of all most 13yrs now n am 45yrs.am a marriage counselor in my church.from my experience d issue of marriage is a two way tin.whether u r living abroad or here d trick to marriage is understanding ur spouse n knowing when to act.alot of women v emotional baggage.when u say u v met yr soul mate it deos nt mean dat person is perfect.it simply means he or she understands u.d same woman d op is complaining about now might meet another man n everything will work out for her.what I v seen in our culture is dat our men "order"their wives to obey dem.those types of things stop with our father.our women r more enlighten these days . understand yr wife n know when to enforce rules n when to soften.

Dnt pray to b on d bad of women .dey can b very mean .but bro u r painting yr yrsef as a saint.r u sure u r nt contributing to d problem? Women r like babies. is what u give dem dey will give back to u.am nt supporting yr wife but I don't believe she just change overnight . something must v trigger it n u did nt act in time.most broken hope today started with a little crack in which apology or forgiveness from either of d partners could v solve but no their pride n ego will nt allow dem

SONofnezzar:
Arsenal will have to pay £25m to sign Chris Smalling from United this summer.

Source: Mirror

man utd don sign agreement with arsenal inrespect exchanging players with each other?

I feel so gud cing Eric Bailey back

potbelly:
I think we should commend lukaku...

No player is perfect... But he has done quite well in his first season...

yes we should .he has improve in terms of passes n holding on to ball

Huddersfield is doing all d playing while united is doing all d scoring

Mctommy is just playing rubbish.to think I v hope for him before.pogba is still better

What d hell r we playing?

TheKingIsHere:
Chelsea should focus on hull city and the FA cup and forget about Barcelona match. There is no way Chelsea under conte can beat this current Barcelona team.

Am a Chelsea fan but I like to tell myself the truth

gbam!

amani63:
RIP to those that have die

If you don't know what this people pass through each day to keep you protected don't talk rubbish about them or criticize their efforts

God bless Nigeria Army
Long life NA

tell am bro.any person dat volunteer to b a soldier for his or her country shud b respected no matter what.RIP.

PoliticalThuG:
I Have Dated Different Ladies Around The World And I Have Come To Realise That Most Nigerian Ladies If Not All Ooze Out Bad Odor DowN THERE. Why Is It So? Is There Any Scientific Explanation To This?

op,how many different outside ladies besides Nigerian girls v u dated? How many continent v u being to?I v travel alot n I can categorically tell u Nigerian girls r nt dirtiest in down there . maybe u r meeting d dirty ones.being hygienic is a personal issues.i v personally encounter white girls dat r dirty.

PoliticalThuG:
I Have Dated Different Ladies Around The World And I Have Come To Realise That Most Nigerian Ladies If Not All Ooze Out Bad Odor DowN THERE. Why Is It So? Is There Any Scientific Explanation To This?

op,how many different outside ladies besides Nigerian girls v u dated? How many continent v u being to?I v travel alot n I can categorically tell u Nigerian girls r nt dirtiest in down there . maybe u r meeting d dirty ones.being hygienic is a personal issues.

Am a man utd fan but d way Bathsuyi dey shine for B.dortmund ,am beginning to ask y conte loan him .even our own mikhiteryan is providing world class assist.is it dat our coaches don't know how to position our players?

Bantam:
U no get the message, he say 10yrs life span..after 10yrs u become UNDERgraduate

Good.infact very gud.our Africa leaders r evolving n dis is a gud sign. our sit tight attitude is gradually changing

With d way things r going I v a feeling one or two premiership club will play in Ueafa finals.

lordstarex:
Wat was isco doing in that pitch. He was playin bakayokally. He was running n turning like a headlez fowl. Zidane hope say isco no bribe u.

playing"bakayokally" . dat crack up!. which one is playing bakayokally again? U people won't kill person o.

With d way things r going I v a feeling one or two premiership club will play in Ueafa finals.

If Madrid dnt win dis match,zidane is going so is a must win game for him

ubunja:
in other words you couldnt find the insult. smh
grow up.

ok" u r crazy or shut up yr mouth "is nt an insult ? Some of us here r respectable married men who God has helped.am here purely because of news updates n sports.n sometimes make contribution on interesting topics.u said I shud grow up .well am 45yrs .did my first n second degree in civil engineering 20 something yrs ago at Uniben .got married 2005.am a civil engineer consultant. when people hid behind their phones n begin insult people u don't even know is very sad .my job v taking me far n wide .I taught this was a respectable forum.but one thing v discover lately alot of people here present a fake front.alot of people here r nt real.i might v to deactivate if we all can engage in meaningful n constructive argument with out being insultive.i will nt reply u again.

ubunja:
show me the insult.

bro let drop it since u don't realize yr mistake.respect.

ubunja:
shut up your mouth.if you need a woman to be happy its your own problem.dont call those who dont immature. coz women are not the measure of a man.enjoy your marriage but dont even for one second think thats special.coz its not.thats why people are divorcing more and more.

bro I dnt really understand yr anger n venom.it seems u v issue with opposite sex. u r nt worth even exchange words with since u cannot make yr point without b insultive

ubunja:
i have been unmarried for the most part of my life why would being alone be a problem now?? are you crazy??

dis what I found amusing on NL.i just made a point.do u v to b insultive to counter it.i feel we should b more mature about d way we talk.u want to live a single life.kudos to u because is what u want.i dnt really know old u r so I will reserve my comments.Godbless

ubunja:
the funny thing is bachelor guys are the happiest.
cant remember the last time i saw a man with a woman who wasnt stressed.

wrong.if u get married to a gud wife,u r d happiest man on .u grow better financially .r u really happy when u r single? With nobody to talk to or share yr burden.all those girls u r changing like wrappers u will get tired one day n den what? there is no feeling like knowing after d hard day work u will b going back to meet yr lovely wife n kids at home.but my dear op r u sure yr girl is really pregnant?

Culin:
One can sleep peacefully now.. And I can finally troll Arsenal and Man U fans for their loss during the weekend.

please wait till u win yr next match

pocohantas:
Okay then.

OK ma.hope yr day was gud? God bless

pocohantas:
It's okay to keep deceiving yourselves, but truth is...there are lots of girls dating and marrying for love. Some are impatient to wait for their true love to stand on his feet, but it doesn't mean both parties didn't love each other.

Reminds me of a thread Toks created recently and girls came for his head, though it was the bitter truth. If you think you're such a good lady and guys keep 'dumping' you without reason, rather than shout "men are scum"...check yourself.

Same applies to guys, you all can't be so good and all the girls bad and materialistic. Check yourselves too. Then strategically attract the kind of woman you want.

my dear,i v been married for almost 12yr plus now am 45yrs.i v travel alot so I can always compare .dnt u think I should know what am talking about? Nobody is saying there r no true luv here but very rare .an average Nigeria girl is very materialistic.most complain I hear from my church girls is d man dnt v money so he cannot take care of me.am a member of a marriage committee in my church .my dear our girls v change .I attended a seminar in UK n was opportune to attend a marriage.d guy was a gardener n d girl a doctor.can a Nigerian girl do dat? .if there is true luv y can't u fall in luv with a wheelbarrow pusher,bus conductor or bricklayers?

pocohantas:
You see one problem I have with hustling guys, they play victim a lot. They are paranoid, insecure and can cause juvenile hypertension.

Date a hustling guy and break up with him, he'll tell the whole world it's because he is broke, he'll never look inwards to correct his flaws or work on other desirable traits.

This is not to say there are no girls always looking for ATM, there are so many of them. So so many, but there are more hustling guys than rich guys in Nigeria, yet majority of these guys have some girl dying for their matter. These hustling guys are even getting married every Saturday. So, why do you keep attracting parasitic girls? Are you just unlucky or undiscerning?

u r right .I don't know u personally but from what u write I can discern u r a very opinionated lady.v always luv yr use of words n opinion but let us stop deceiving ourselves .most of our girls now dnt want to settle with an hustling guy.u can say all u want on online giving impression u can do otherwise but deep down u r also looking for a guy who can take care of u financially.most girls dat r settling down now will gladly opt out if dey meet a richer guy . true love v gone through d widows.is marriage of convenience dat exist now