₦airaland Forum

Hahahahahahaha i love ur style man, although am not sure if ur actually confronting my post, or advising me on how to be controversial, all d same nice one bro! We really need to talk some more. MODERATORS FRONT PAGE THIS THREAD MUST TO GO VIRAL

honeypie311: . Ok send me your Cell no nd Bb Pin to honeypie@gmail.com

okay baby, i just sent it

semid4lyfe: I'll pick The Notebook over Titanic anytime anyday. . . .

when am chanced i'l write Titanic v. The note book, watch out, i prefer titanic though

Sijo01: Bra, bra, bra, bra, Bravoooooooo!

thanks Baby
[quote author=Ogidi-Olu]@op. You're talented. I hope u'll make a good living out of it someday. I remember your 'letter to nokia e7', it was rily nice too.[/quote]yeah i wished naira land paid too, then i would have been writing at every chance i have

Alright I’l admit it, the Samsung galaxy is a beauty, it comes with a 4.8 inch HD screen in contrast to Nokia’s 84 x 48 monochrome display, it comes chocked up with memory, depending on the version, some can bag a capacity of up to a 140 GB, Including its 50 GB cloud storage(Drop box as some call it), but if this device can store everything then what will our human brains be used for?, its resistive capacitive touch screen is also an Amoled display with 16m colours, isn’t 16 million colours too much for a pair of eyes of what use will its crispy clear resolution be when you go finally blind, it comes with a quad core C.P.U, best in the market right now, this eliminates overheating and ensures unbelievable speed coupled with its 4G LTE feature, but then again life on the fast lane never ended well for anyone, the galaxy uses an android operating system, a version called the Android ice cream sandwich (ICS), for gods sake one can purchase an ice cream sandwich for a far lesser amount in any fast food or better still prepare one yourself. Its 8 mega pixel camera is qualified by some as awesome but do u know that the 3310 can be retrofitted with a camera of any pixel by using the microphone input as a data port, rumour had it some time ago that other versions of the 3310 were modified into a heavily armed machine gun, which discharged bullets at the punch a number on the keypad, a speed dial sort of thing, this phone can only be described in one word VERSATILE.


You might say that the Samsung galaxy refuses to settle for less coincidentally the 3310 does not settle for less either, do you remember the games on our Nokia, Bantumi, space impact, Pairs 2, snake 2 ?, apart from the fact that this games kept us glued to our screen for hours, it is seen that most of them were in its second stage (part 2) when Nokia could have settled for part one, they went ahead to acquire a part 2 instead, this shows an undaunting desire for technological breakthrough. Having made these comparisons it is my unrebuttable opinion that Nokia 3310 is and will remain the best phone mankind will know for a very long time.



Having made this comical write up, I just want to say that these phones are spectacular in their own ways, they were and are admired by many. As time goes on new phones come while the old ones give way, however no matter what phone comes along I’l never forget my first phone the Nokia 3310…

What a beauty!

…sorry about the ellipsis but the deeper look I talked about earlier was much more deeper than I thought, anyway here it is read on.

I remember when I used to see all types of mobile devices featured in American movies, dreaming about actually owning one of this devices, for a long time remained just a dream and am sure many Nigerians suffered the same fate, wanting to own this devices was not just for owning sake but at least to free ourselves from the tyrannical reign of Nigerian telecommunication limited (NITEL). Fortunately, in the fourth quarter of the year 2000 this nightmare came to an end. I don’t know for certain the first mobile device that came into Nigeria, but the very first device I set my eyes on was the Nokia 3310, possessing this phone was like possessing diamond, it actually elicited the kind of response, which the half a million blackberry Porsche is eliciting right now. At the time of in-depth need the Nokia 3310 came to our rescue, and let me ask, where the hell was the Samsung galaxy then?! I’l tell you, it was just a sketch on an ambitious computer engineers drawing sheet, or better still a figment of one’s imagination, that is to say that the Nokia 3310 is realistic and not a compendium of unreconcilling gadgetry like the galaxy s3.



Though some may admire the sleek and fragile physique of the Galaxy s3, but the 3310 is famous for its sturdy and rugged composition, you would agree with me that in Nigeria of today one needs to move around with one weapon or the other, well the Nokia 3310 can serve as such, you just need to aim it at your target. In addition to this, the 3310 is said to be quite the resilient device, there is what has come to be known as the drop test where two or more mobile phones are dropped purposely on a hard surface to ascertain their strength and ability to accommodate shock, well I did carry out a drop test back then with my 3310 accidentally anyway, my phone fell from a 3 story to a reinforced concrete floor with iron rods all over it, okay okay okay it just fell to the floor, from my hand, okay it fell to my carpet but all the same it didn’t crack, break or scratch, if am not mistaken i would say that my battery life improved considerably after that incident.



Okay maybe am sounding too biased, maybe this next point will cheer you up. Nokia like the Samsung galaxy and most phones out there gather a weight of 133g, which at least puts the galaxy at par with the spectacular 3310, but there was also a variant of the 3310 which weighed less at 115g, it would seem that Nokia was not yet ready to claim this variant as theirs in case sales go horribly wrong, am saying so because the Nokia logo where the hands meet was not present in this variant, any way they became proud of their device afterwards and subsequently imputed the logo, having sold 126m units. Bravo Nokia, bravo!

There must be a sea of questions flowing through your mind right now, like how can the vintage Nokia 3310 ever be compared to the flagship galaxy s3 ?, which yardstick is being used to measure the two?, how can such comparison even be conceived in the first place?. For most of you this is same as making a comparison between King kong and Aladin’s monkey, John okafor of nollywood and Leornardo Decaprio, the Bugatti veron(1 of the most expensive cars in the world, $1.8m) and the 1997 model station wagon Volvo or the eloquent Wole Soyinka alongside the not so eloquent first lady ‘‘My husband is the best couple’’ oops! no defamation intended just thinking out loud. Anyway i don’t mean to sound like an advertising agent for any of this telecommunication brands, I would have if there were paying me but sadly they aren’t, I just want to take a deeper look into this mobile devices and see which is better and more suitable for the general public even though the general public might not agree with me. Now let’s take a look at Samsung galaxy s3 side by side the Nokia 3310 or Okpo Nokia (Bone Nokia) as the call it in my local dialect.

NOKIA 3310 V. SAMSUNG GALAXY S3

You guys are making quite story out of first lady's grammatical blunder, any way it is quite hilarious and we all have freedom of speech to comment on how funny it is and how dumb the talker must be, but just be careful of what you say because of she actually didn't make the comment.. she can see you for defamation, SLANDER,besides her husband might also pounce on you too remember he is a couple. i.e two in one.

No problem honey pie am always at your service.

Rose Nude drawing

[center]THE REVIEW[/center]

The movie among others featured Leonardo Decaprio whose character was named Jack Dawson and Kate Winslet as Rose de witt Buckatar. Jack’s character was that of a peasant, a freewheeling young man with nothing other than ‘Air in his lungs’. If I am to classify this movie I would say that it is a somewhat Epic romantic tragedy. For me it is an all-encompassing film, depicting all facets of ordinary life, Love, frustration, passion, class dichotomy, patriotism, politics, Agony, survival etc. Here we saw the ever blazing chemistry of two people from opposite segments of the society, the segment of the haves and not have’s and how this chemistry blossomed into pure love even in the midst of stiff resistance on the part of Rose’s mother and rich fiancés Karl who according to the mother was to be their economic saviour, and who would sustain them in their world of affluence and plenty, this chemistry between Jack and Rose began the moment he was able to convince a very frustrated and suicidal rose not to jump aboard the ship Rose “Go away your distracting me” Jack “Am involved now, you let go and am gonna have to jump there after you”, ironically Rose saw jack as her own saviour and subsequently fell madly in love with him. James Cameron blew my mind away with the pedal scene, when jack wielded rose up on the railings in front of the ship and held her hands astride, the kiss that followed interspersed with the soothing soundtrack, later used by Celine dion, giving a new definition to the word romance. Young jack was not only good with words but also with his pencil, as seen when he meticulously made a drawing of an unclad rose with nothing on but a priceless pendant on her neck (which was called the heart of the ocean), even with the sexual tension pervading the room jack manages to remain professional while making his sketch of her, I called that an artistic pre-intimacy. The whole affair climaxed at the love making scene inside the vintage car in the cargo deck of the ship, the hand which made an impression on the window of the humid car, suggested an aftermath of intimate sexual encounter.



From my little research, I’ve been made to know that this film is the first of its kind to infer that the collision with the ice berg was caused by distracted lookers at the top of the ship, who were admiring the love play between jack and rose instead of performing their duty, in retrospective it would be seem that Jack and rose were the ones indirectly responsible for the crash, that possibility would be said to be too remotely novel anyway, what followed subsequently was an array of unimaginable agony and sorrow, it dawned on me however the efficiency and alacrity the lookers used to alert the other crew members together with the captain to try to steer the ship from the ice berg’s path, which apparently didn’t make much difference, nevertheless it went to show that the crew were not that negligent after all. I felt the pain of the builder of the ship when he intimated his colleagues that the ship would be sunked in, in the next 1 hour, he was so devastated by his failure to create an impregnable ship that he didn’t know when the water invaded the room and overwhelmed him. The captain of the ship on the other hand must have so revered the titanic that like Rose did, he too couldn’t go and leave the ship behind, because for him and his wife there was no life outside the titanic, I was quite amazed at the entertainers that played the violin, they seemed not to be disturbed at the inherent pandemonium caused by the dividing ship, playing together seemed to give them the internal peace that no life boat could ever give. Towards the end of the movie people didn’t turn out to be what they seemed to be, Karl as we saw was driven to the brink of madness at some point as a result of jealously towards Jack who had stolen the heart of his fair lady, the rich Sir who pushed the captain to increase the speed of the ship which plunged to its death, turned into a faceless rat as he cowardly and stealthy entered the boat which was meant for only women and children in a bid to save himself, most of Jack’s friends had perished before things settled, the well-meaning Navy officer who having been put on too much pressure, shot two people dead, went the way of Judas Iscariot by pulling the trigger on his head after giving a remorseful and stern salute to his confederates.




Even in the last moments Jack was ready to sacrifice his life for Rose likewise her life for jack. The words that touched me were Rose “I love you” Jack “Don’t talk like that, you’re gonna have kids, your gonna die an old lady warm in your bed, not here, not on this night, promise me, never let go of that promise, never let go” this conversation took place while rose was untop the remains of the ship, and jack with his whole body in the 0 degrees Fahrenheit water with only his chest upwards on the wood, I watched in utter sadness as jack having freezed to death a few hours before got separated from Rose and the piece of wood and into the deep dark ocean of obscurity as rose swam to safety. Out of 2200 passengers on board, only 706 made it alive on that faithful day of which rose was one of them.
Rose now a great grandmother, narrating the story to the curious deep sea explorers made the movie even more touching and invigorating with both actual and verbal imagery not to talk of the cutting edge visual effects and sound track which is of course expected of a movie of this description, although it amazes me as to how the computer analyst could come up with such realistic graphics back in 1997, when the movie was produced “Don’t talk like that, you’re gonna have kids, you’re gonna die an old lady warm in your bed, not here not on this night, promise me, never let go of that promise, never let go” even though there were no subsequent records of Jack Dawson, she did keep to her promise and him in her memory.



When Rose was asked by her grandchildren why she never talked about Jack she replied “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets”. This movie shows us that history is nothing more than people living their normal lives, whether in the year 1917, 1990 or 2012, in fact history is taking place at the moment and if we are lucky we will ourselves be acted out in a movie such as this and be remembered throughout history. Let us make every moment on earth count let us make history. In the words of Jack ‘Take a chance, because you never know what hand you’re gonna be dealt with next ’

Its 3D poster released this year.and the 3D version of the sky when rose looked up at it

INTRODUCTION
The titanic as most of us already know was a name of a ship which suffered an actual wreck during the 19th century, 15th April 1912 to be precise, this ship was referred to at that time as the RMS TITANIC, it sank enroute the northern Atlantic ocean on its maiden (first voyage) from Southampton in England to New York city, usa. As its name implies its design and colossal might is one which has kept engineers and art lovers astounded for decades, it is quite revealing to know that the remains of the ship still lay on the sea bed gradually disintegrating. Since its discovery in 1985, thousands of interesting artifacts have been recovered, it’s tragic excerpts have kept a number of folklores, movies and even animations alive, little wonder why Nkem owoh or Zack amatar of nollywood haven’t embarked on producing a Nigerian version, starring maybe Majid michelle as Jack and Jackie appiah as Rose, with Jim iyke playing the role of Carl, rose’s lovelorn royal ass of a boyfriend, Patience ozokor as Rose’s unapproving mother and the suave Olu Jacobs as the captain, at the same time integrating new roles like that of Tonto dicke acting as a lusty maiden, screwing Jim iyke’s brains off in one of the secret cabins at the back of the ship and John Okafor as a drunk crew member fed up with life and indifferent to the impending submersion , now that would be hilarious wouldn’t it at least after watching it till the end at its part 10.
The movie was meticulously written by the screen writing god in the person of James Cameron ,who can boast of plethora of block busters in his coffers which include TERMINATOR, ABYSS,ALIENS and most recently AVATAR, this Canadian movie producer cum deep sea explorer has certainly carved a niche for himself in the movie industry, he subsequently made a legend of himself when he reproduced Titanic in 3D on march 27th 2012, same actors, same scenes and plots only difference was its 3D dimension, ‘The budget be dammed director’ and ‘The Scientific artiste’ are just one of his many names, borne from the fact that he was the first producer to make titanic in 1997 with a price tag of £220million which at that time was the most priciest movie ever made and also his invention of the digital 3D fusion camera, calling this man successful is simply derogatory.

Its poster

Having finished my exams, i refused to be bored during my 2 weeks of recess, so in other to uphold my resolution i borrowed the famous romantic movie THE NOTE BOOK from a friend, coincidentally i recalled how far more interesting the movie TITANIC was, how beautiful Kate Winslet looked and how young and stunning Decaprio was at that time, the tragic ending and the magnificent plot and scenes kept on replaying in my mind, with my last 200 naira i decided to purchase a copy of the movie and am feeling even more talent struck than before, to tell the truth I haven’t cried for years but after watching the movie this morning i shaded a tear (just 1 tear), I have in the past read some movie reviews by devour writers and movie critics I must confess that am nowhere near their ability to review with such passionate intensity but i try all the same. So here’s the Titanic review by me, tell me what you think, be sincere.
Make una no see how I dey talk like one kind British bobo i be Naija boy for life o.

Fredooo dis article made me laugh, u r rilly creative, u hav inspired me to write a peice at least after my exams...pls pray to d Nigerian God to help carry out exam malpractise without being caught (just kidding)

Otomao i would suggest you pick E7...First of all the screen is large so it can support HD videos, by HD i mean crispy clear videos its measured according to pixels HD is 720p, then we have 1080p which is Unbelivably sharp...the camera is just moderate, The e6 is equally cool but E7 is bettter...i would like to write volumes for you but just trustt me on this, am not saying that E7 is the best but it really good..read its revieww on Gsmarena.com you'l have a clear understanding.

dani1luv: Farouk (Verb) :
To collect bribe and deny it, attributing evidence to video
doctoring.

Past tense:
farouked (Noun)
Example: To farouk is human.

Farouker(Noun) : A person who farouks
Example: The National Assembly is populated with faroukers.

Faroukee (Noun): A person who is farouked
Example: The desperate
contractor became a faroukee in order to win the business.

Faroukology (Noun): The study of bribe collection and denial of obvious evidence.
Example: The politician has a degree in Faroukology from the
University of Corruption.

Faroukracy (Noun): Government of bribery, by the bribe givers for the bribe takers
Example: Our nation has been practicing faroukracy from
independence.

Faroukism(Noun): The political ideology of bribery, corruption and cover ups.
Example: EFCC has prosecuted many advocates of faroukism.

Faroukiosis(Noun): A chronic disorder of bribery taking and denial.
Example: The doctor diagnosed
the young politician of acute faroukiosis.

Adjective
Faroukish: having the appearance
of, or relating to bribery and denial.
Example: Results of the
investigation appear really faroukish.

Adverb
Faroukistically: Carried out or done in a way that suggests a farouk.
Example: The lawmakers carried
on faroukistically.

...Men ur post made me and my whole family laugh to stupor, pls permit me to steal it. Thank u

Idowuogbo: u just 21 and u here saying u've had ur fair share wiv women? u started at 9 rite?

Baby am just trying to Spur dis heart broken guy No offence...and for d record i started at 8 ...#winks#

Am just trying to control myself in other not to say anything defamatory or derogatory because even the bible says touch not my annointed and do my prophet no harm...am dissapointed to say the least how a man of God can send his wife away because of Superstitious and frivolous reasons. Anyway theres always 3 sides to a story,the story from the ist person, second person and the truth...So lets at least wait for okoties side of the story...I just wonder which English he used to send her away 'Stephanoe pack your consignment and vacate from my osivolobous contagorisity' LOL

Wow!! 41 comments, never knew dis write up will arouse so much comments, i just wrote it minutes b4 i went to bed...mayb if i write it to nokia dey'l giv me a new one...lol....For those who wana know d current price its 70k now,
Thanx for all ur comments, i tot i ws a terrible writer. For all BB users try Nokia or an Android fone and u'l buy me a bottle of baileys nd thank me. Am a law student but writing is my second passion..so keep following my write ups
I remain urs Atown Abagga.
(In loving memory of Nokia E7)

Dear Nokia E7,

I hope all is well where ever you are, am writing this letter to you to show you how much you meant to me, so that you can find it in your Ram to forgive me.

E7 i miss your 4.1 inch flat screen, and the way you smile at me when i switched you on and you show your 'Nokia connecting people' display, though you didn't have memory card slot, i still loved you. All the same because you had a 16GB internal memory and it was just enough for me

I still fantasize about your physical qwerty keypad and how fast and convenient i could type with you. You made 'chyking' girls on social networks very easy. By the way i met a cute girl recently her name is Faustina (i go yarn u later sha).

Your touch screen was second to none, you made browsing an sensational experience for me, not to talk of your other accessories like your Av cord, your wifi feature,HDMI capability etc. You were simply Amazing, you hooked a few times and you had an 8 mega pixel camera which was not impressive with the absence of Auto focus but yet i was still faithful to you, even when i had an opportunity to cheat on you with a blackberry.

E7 you meant the world to me because i could see the world in High Definition wit the help of your 4.1 inch Gorilla glass(scratch resistant screen), i miss all my Youtube videos both musical videos and movies the sharpest videos I've ever seen.

I miss the attention you gave to me when people saw me with you and felt i was a millionaire when i was not, and i want to thank you for playing a part in enabling me loose my virginity to we both know who #winks# (am joking jor)
Actually i did it even when i was holding nokia 3310 plssss...

Anyway i miss you dearly, but then again it was not my fault that i sold you out for a very cheap amount, i know you must be feeling like a cheap LovePeddler right now, don't feel that way because i needed the money to settle a problem which was not even a problem if i could rewind time u would be in my hands right now, showing me clear porn videos oops! I mean clear song videos sorry! I meant clear and song and videos ( i dont watch such) it was a slip of the fingers,Why are you laughing am serious....

So E7 right now am completely miserable with this Nokia X2 i have now, it is a nightmare, now i know why they called you a smart phone, this X2 is a mumu phone although it helps me to call and send messages and can you imagine!!! even with its 10 MB internal memory it even hooks like you, see familiarity o!!

Now i can't switch through various applications with them still running like you, i can't stream videos from the internet like you, i can't rip games from Ps3 Cd's into it like i used to do with you, i can't even upgrade the operating system like i use to do with you, you were Symbian Anna os, this x2 receives 2go and no other application.

Girls do not have my time, like they did when i was with you (they still do jor), and for how long will i keep lying to people that i want to buy a BB Porsche, maybe i should instead say i want to buy Nokia mercedez benz at least they don't know how that one looks like...

Nokia E7:00 was your code name, Nokia oppressor was your Bluetooth name please forgive me, and i just want to tell u that i'll soon be getting another phone, am liking this Samsung galaxy s3 i think its 145 thousand naira, i'll get it after i rob a bank. By now your new owner must have formatted you, so you might not even remember me, but if this letter gets to u know that someone's misses you dearly

yours sincerely

Atown Abagga