₦airaland Forum

addmole:
I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.

Anyway sha, lets move on...

5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.

Omo...
The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.

I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.

I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.

ANOTHER PART OF HER:
My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.

There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.

We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.

I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.

I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.

Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.

i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.

Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.

She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.

What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough.

I suggest you discipline your sexual urge to the minimum. Don't pressure her concerning sex and be mysterious with where u go and the things u do.
Secondly, take good care of ur personal hygiene and focuss on building a more attractive version of ur self.
Buy new clothes and put expensive colognes.
Ignore most of her existence and also flirt with young ladies around.

The reason why women loose attraction of their husbands sometimes is because of the above mentioned.
You became less attractive, less mysterious, unhygienic, and u make her position look too secure.

Brendaniel:
It's baffling you because it's the truth....

Ok...India just landed a rocket in the far side of the Moon and the constant argument here is who is doing worst than my ethnic group..that means we're all doing bad.

Brendaniel:
So the south west has a higher rate of kidnap than the south east, in fact if you go by region the south east has the least rate of kidnap, but you see these ronu people they always try to make it look as if the south east is the most unsafe region in Nigeria, they begin to compare the south east with the north, their hypocrisy stinks, they will come and say why are Igbos leaving the south east, naturally Igbos travel to other places to explore, that is why they say if you go to any place and you don't see an Igbo man, run away from there...

South west - 168

South east - 154

For the fact that more than 60 individuals liked this egocentric comments baffles me.

Wagwanbrethren:
Good one from the US!
They are quick to impose death penalty on homosexuality, but can't impose death sentence on their corrupt politicians! 🤣

Most Africa countries with their misplaced priority. LGB is here to stay, either you like it or not. Na just time.
The death penalty is too extreme, and that's human right abuse.

I wonder why people are going crazy over what two adults choose to do with themselves. Don't you get it, they are not sexually attracted to the other sex, no matter how you try to change them, it's the way they are. No be your nyash I dey f;k, so why you carry the matter for head? ☹️

This is what the the alphabet people said in the western world 15 years ago. Today, they are grooming children and imposing their agenda to people dat choose to procreate. It is better to curb this lgbt menace before it get out of hands.

Amunethseranu:
...you don't need to go to church or medical checking but to answer my questions ok!


1: are you joking with real spiritual things?

2: if u aren't joking , do you know Yahweh is same person as Satan ? I can prove it to u .


3: You want to appear evil and demonic don't u know satan is the same god u call good god?


4: isn't it time to snap out already since Satan is same as Yahweh and search for real evil immortals to join suite with?


5: lets say you wanted to be good ,don't u think Yahweh aka Satan is the cause of 95% of world problems today ?


Answer me this and I will enlighten u

What is the name of what u practice and what is ur holy authority?

Amunethseranu:
...you don't need to go to church or medical checking but to answer my questions ok!


1: are you joking with real spiritual things?

2: if u aren't joking , do you know Yahweh is same person as Satan ? I can prove it to u .


3: You want to appear evil and demonic don't u know satan is the same god u call good god?


4: isn't it time to snap out already since Satan is same as Yahweh and search for real evil immortals to join suite with?


5: lets say you wanted to be good ,don't u think Yahweh aka Satan is the cause of 95% of world problems today ?


Answer me this and I will enlighten u

It seems like u didn't see the subtle sarcasm in my comments.

Nevertheless, I respect anyone dat is equip with logical backing for his or her belief and I'll will answer u as with out reservations and if u can convince me I'll be amaze

Amunethseranu:
who is the holyspirit besides truth isn't blasphemy. I know one lady here who preaches against sin, in her course she insulted me ...so I decided to visit her dream because she has dull light and she raped me in a lesbian way while I watch in disgust after that she shouted blood Jesus when she saw something in me and turn to dust ( disappeared, woke etc )

I'm a reincarnated version of Ghangis Khan, I've lived in several human vessels for ages. I Transformed from one creature or entity to another for generations.
I also have super powers to appear in people's dream and also summon denoms and lesbians, that is why I have enough time to argue with people on nairaland because Satan had promised me that the world would feel his impact in a sub section of a forum that is irrelevant to the global community.

People say I'm mad but I need help .


Should I go for medical checking?
Or
Should I accept these imaginations to become my realities?

gbengaeed:
When you carefully look at the situation, you could see that the only thing that matters to Nigerians is cruise and vibe nothing of substance. more reason we produce more that 1000 computer engr. yearly who can't do an hour without been online and yet no single invention, a graduate of agriculture who doesn't see potentials in Nigeria other than govt. should fund me or i JAPA, more reason while ENDSARS degenerate into what it become because youth were having fun in protesting while the nation is already burning, go to any social media platform and see stupidity of Nigerian all in the name of skit. in the next 10-15years the same set of people would be in leadership position either private or govt. and one would be expecting a world class performance.

I wish I could like ur comment one million times. These kind of post and comments are the things that makes me visit this site.

Yugoslavia247:
See eh let me tell you today the law of man and the law of God are different.

Mark my words..

The law of God never gave children much of an option.

Except you want to deceive yourself.

That is why no matter how good or bad a parent his. Their words can hamper or make destiny.

You must be wise as Solomon and not serpent.

Serpent are all for food and survival.

Parents are our creators.

Can a clay tell the moulder how he wants to be formed.

See forget shit.

Go and check the greatest men in the world.

One by one. A large percentage had good relationship with their father.

A son loved by his father will excel. A son cursed by his father will never excel.

Jacob, David, Solomon,

Reuben till date is still the smallest and weakest tribe. He was cursed.

If you want to argue first ask yourself what power have you over your parents. And what spiritual power have they over you.

You don't have to believe.

The same way you can not change God but accept it in faith.

God knew before he made man. You will also give birth and assume that same power.

Okay.

It seems like we agree on certain things and the bone of contention can be easily resolve. I'm not disputing the validity of parental blessings because not only does our religion encourage it , our cultures and personal convictions sway in that direction.

What is sacrosanct ib life is we have bad parents and in as much they can bless or course their children, it doesn't mean you should take unwise discision when you have identified a parent weakness. The O P said the mother is not realible when it comes to money and he wants to set boundaries in that aspect. Tell me, is that not a good option?
Let's say he has a project to embark on or he wants to give money to his siblings through his mother? Is it wise to trust and give his mother?

Lastly, you ended up arguing with the Bible, it is clearly started that we should be calm as a dove and wise as a serpent in Matt 10: 16

Yugoslavia247:
Dey play with your blessings. Better give her.

You won't understand sha.
Maybe you have not started hustling for money yourself.

Honour thy father and thy mother
Reward prosperity and long life.
If you give her money you Honor her.

See this life if you want smooth sailing forgive and forget.

700 dollar is nothing.

Can you bless her NO
Can she bless you YES

The floor is yours

This is the kind of mentality that is a resultant effect of loopsided religious interpretations. Some one is complaining about the untrustworthy nature of his mother and you are misquoting the Bible on obedience.
Is it not the same holy scripture that opines, we should be wise as serpent?
You aspect him to forget just like that?

ebubeson:
Do you subscribe to the use of loyalty prank in testing your partner, if he or she is faithful, or if he or she truly loves you? Again, the fact that someone failed a loyalty prank, does it mean the person is bad?

You may have seen a case where a guy tested his girl with a hook-up trap, and the lady fell for the trap. Does it mean such a lady is truly terrible?

Please give you facts on loyalty prank. If it is okay or not.

I don't agree with public disgrace in the name of layalty prank. Especially the way Nigerians over do things. If you want to test ur partner, there are responsible ways u can do dat without humiliating the person publicly.
Women are expert in these subtle test, that's why in our community we call it the shit test.
A senseble guy would know about this and is equip to pass such test and in return he has his own test under his sleeve without her knowing. It's a shame that peope lack the wisdom to vet women to the extent that they will employ someone to do it.

post=122637732:
It is amusing, funny and shocking to read some of those comments up there.
School no be scam ooo, as una dey sing about on a daily basis.
This is so disappointing to read all these nonsense and bs coming from adults in the society.
What a pity!


To the lay men out there that are ready to learn,
Let's dissect to you the meaning of Nuclear power plant...

What is the purpose of the nuclear power plant?

Nuclear energy can be used to create electricity, but it must first be released from the atom.
In the process of nuclear fission, atoms are split to release that energy.
A nuclear reactor, or power plant, is a series of machines that can control nuclear fission to produce electricity.

As you can see, it is only for electricity,
Not the drums of War, chaos and fear some people are bringing to your door already.

Ignorance is not a disease,
It's something worse...

They only read the headline and booom,
Nonsensical comments start....
Shuuooo

I've read comments from real nuclear physicists in quora and they don't sound this arrogant and disrespectful to people ... Why are Africans like this? Small knowledge that u acquire, u want to brag more than Albert. Na wa oo

PhenomenalAustin:
Bia, if you no complete this story in the next hour, mu na gi ga enwe serious problem 😤😡😡

Which kind suspense be this?? 😡

I just finished reading the entire story. Go to the site.

Sheistoopretty:
Alan Walker - Spectre
Alan Walker - Nothing at All
Alan Walker - Faded
Tom Odell - Another Love
DC Nuel - Comes and Goes
Zayn Ft Sia - Dusk till Dawn
SLANDER - Love is Gone

And so on and so forth!!! Infact every song I have on my playlist gives me goosebumps and I can't get over them when playing.. anything other than that I delete u immidiately I have only foreign musics all over..

That's the kind of musics I listen to, that has meaningful and lovely lyrics, not the she tell me say bullshit Wizkid and his likes dish for u all

Damn...I love electric music. Alan is a goat.

Reference:
A police man shot a non threatening civilian in our so called 'disciplined' culture over the weekend.
What school again did the policeman attend and how come in the 'indisciplined' United Kingdom these kinds of acts are not 'cultural'.
But the common thread to all these events is clear.

The fact is, the black man always feels threatened and thus cannot see himself making headway if he is not in 'control', by coercion if necessary.
We see it everyday in our politics, governance, business and work spaces.
We find it extremely hard to manage people of diversity and tolerate dissent, particularly when they do not present in 'our image'.

You walk into a class and see something 'insulting' on the board and it 'blows up your psyche'..... children oh..... then how do you handle 'unruly adults'.... like our ASP.... you just shoot them for 'indiscipline'.

You raised valid points here and I can't argue the point that our system need complete overhaul. My take is that we should not use the western benchmark for civility guide us because it has alot of loopholes. It is true that our police are the worst in world but have it in mind that it is as a result of poor education.
The level of freedom that western countries are given to children will hunt them in the future. Do you know that children in China can not spend more than one hour on tick-tock?
Children in the west are spoiled, unrully, indiscipline and lack the innosence of children.

Reference:
You went from an autocracy to a democracy and to you this is hell?

Africans are indeed emotionally unintelligent and poor organisers of workable societies. If they are not allowed to rule in feudal set ups they misfire. Is this the famed legacy of colonialism or what?

This has nothing to do with colonialism, our culture and traditions are different. A Chinese or Japanese would find the attitude of those students shocking. Do you know that in Japan, pupils are only taught on manners, respect and self discipline? They are mandated to clean their class room and to perform other non related formal educational activities in their childhood and the result has brought about one of the most organize set of citizens in the world. I'm sure you've heard about their exceptional conduct at Qatar during the world cup. This achievement boils down to their good educational system and it should be the one Africans should emulate. The western world is going crazy and we should not go down with them by copying and pasting.

OurTruth24:
One thing I find interesting about the Eye of the Sahara is the minimal media and academic coverage it gets. A structure like this should easily be a wonder of the world, but almost no one talks about it.

Kids in school are taught about even lesser astonishing locations, and our historical books are filled with information about structures and sites less mesmerizing that this. Even with my knack for research I only heard about the eye of the Sahara few years ago.

I've noticed this same feature with places like Gobekli Tepi and Puma panku; geographical sites that point to ancient technologically advanced civilizations whose existence shatters everything we've been told about our history.

It's really something to think about, especially given that the nature of the eye of the sahara still confounds even the brightest of scientists till this day.

I commend your efforts in carrying out this research. The issue I have with Afrocentric researchers is the mysticism and speculation attached to their work. For instance, they say Jesus is black, the Egyptians are blacks, Ploto, Aristotle, Socrates are all blacks and they also speculate that Africans were the originators of great ideas in maths, physics, chemistry, geography and arts.
These calms are baseless, preposterous and the are making us look stupid because the are not factual. The moment a historical figure is recognize as being great, you'll start hearing about his African heritage by arm chair historians. I have few questions for you...
Why don't we ask our self, among all the folktales and short story narrated From one generation to another, why don't any of them make reference to a city of Atlantic pedigree in any African culture?
Why is it that we wait for the western civilization to help us identify our greatness and any thing we can not fathom is deem as supernatural?.
Don't you think it's because of our low cognitive ability that we find it hard to believe in the human ability to build monolithic structures?
Why don't we see glaring evidence of African civilization for instance, where are the names of African scientist of 1st Ad?

Jeon:
Nah Simps be ur problems?



.

THIS LIFE FUNNY.

It might seem far from our problem in Nigeria, but if you look closely, had it been we have more strong and effecient men, our nation will develop. How can the majority of men demean their selves to simping and u expect a good country

Ikennaford:
I think no...

Because God didn't give us the capacity to do so... I mean to develop by ourselves upon our natural resources, I've done so many research on how black people came about for those of you that believe in Bible like me, in the Bible, there are 2 creation in the Bible, the creation of Adam(white man) he ate the fruit of knowledge and the creation of blacks, (ignoramus people) all of us here on nairaland including me and all the blacks around the world, so I'll create that thread on 25th Dec 2023,,my birthday... I'll be 30....

Back to the main topic, please your views

All my life, I've never seen an enormous amount of self hate and racism that is sadly true

obaaderemi:
The bolded is the reason smart men don't take you women seriously. So you believed that guy's lies. The same story a man will tell other men and they'll see straightaway that he is lying, he will tell the same lie to a woman and most of you will follow him and begin to disrespect the one who has been loyal to you.

I can't believe you quickly believed that lie.

My gee, you too get sense. As I started reading his post, I took everything with a pinch of salt and investigated on his previous post which confirm to me that he was lying.

[quote author=Mutant001 post=116208659]LWKMD
you have the IQ of a bacteria.
I mean look at the president is the same i.q from the same empty heads that elected him. If the head is that ROTTEN how will the rest of the body be

You need mental rehabilitation to be honest[/quotes/]


Why are u lacking civilised words to back ur way of living.... doesn't it occur to u dat the more you try, the harder it is for u to win argument? This boils down to the mirades of unanswered questions to ur skewed belief system . I wish u all the best and lots of love but no homo and good luck with the boys....by the way, I'm happy dat a guy is leaving the girls for us and for bunus, he is taking another guy with him, how awesome.

siofra:
Wow! It's backed by science!

Funny how Napoleon is portrayed as an evil short bastard when in reality he is 1.69 and the average height of today's men in Nigeria is 5 ft 5.3 in (165.9 cm)

Killbillz:
Saw this on Quora yesterday but urs are mostly memes tho

Dat's good....it's nice to meet someone that visit the site because most Nigerians find quora as being boring ��

.....

......The foundation of civilization is built on the sweat and blood of men....

More...

........

Continuetion......

I've found my new social media addiction to be very inspiring and educative since I joined quora . It has been fun and insightful as I'm well versed with world politics, history, arts and military/security studies...here are some of the interesting memes I've saved on my phone. Enjoy!!!

ournewjobs:
Hmm. How are we sure it's not a personal attack on Peter Obi?

Ebonyi should be like other dangerous cities.

Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities in the World

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KFwgdLf65Q

Because it's most likely the handiwork of ipod

MissLAP:
My dear theirs nothing complex in the knowledge of the invention that you posted.

That's just a simple (3rd) law of physics.
such invention wouldn't even see the light cus it poses a great danger to humans

Please stop embarrassing yourself here, better study wisely so as to join the league of Nigerians making waves abroad as the highest paid robotic engineer in world today is a small Yoruba boy.

You just proved his point. Africans cannot access their full potential with out tutorship from other races