₦airaland Forum

[quote author=PAGAN 9JA]

Is this for real


shey.........u r amateur drinker.[/quote]bro I no sabi burkutu, abeg just give stout and I will drink 99 bottles.

To shyte at big gur, one have to be very careful. 1, you must watch your steps so you step on someone else faeces. 2, you have to stand on the edge of the gutter and bend ur a'ss down so u can be dropping your droppings straight to the canal. I found my way to the edge of the canal with only my boxers on. I was so drunk and high of burkutu so I was extra careful so as not to fall in the gutter myself. My friends just waited under the tree while wrapping there weed to smoke and also laffinn at me. "Na God go punish una 2 there, see their big heads them" I cursed them.. As I was shyting I also felt like I was flying before I could say jack I heard "gboooooaaaaaa" I fell inside the canal, the same canal that all the barrack brosses and children come to defecate.."Hahahaha, e don fall for inside sh'it oh" someone shouted I didn't even know the pesin cos I wasn't myself at the time. My friends rushed to my aid but it was too late. They brought me out with my whole body covered with shytes n stuffs...they later brought 2 full buckets of water and a medicated soap which I used to wash myself.. After washing I found a cool spot to rest my head, i requested for a wrap of weed and lit up to smoke away the pain...

THE END

The old looking woman came and dropped 5ltrs white paint container filled to the brim with the local drink. She also brought a calabash along, but we rather asked for cups and she return the calabash I came back with 3 plastic cups. "Chei, omo dis one na coco oh, na to go buy akara be dat oh" I said jokingly and everybody scattered laff. We all picked our cups up, there a smaller cup in d container which we all used to fill our cups up. I was hesitant to drink the stuff but my friends were busy gulping the kunu-like drink. "Omo na one day pesin dey die oh, if these 2 muntulas fit drink dis tin me sef go drink be dat" I tot within me as lift the cup to my mouth and gulped it up. As the liquid finds it way from my mouth down to the throat I felt like throwing up but as coded guy I maintained and acted as if the drink is ok. "So na dis kain tin dis people dey drink wey dey mek dem do like mumu" I tot as I lighted up a stick of cigarette to step the drink down...only one cup that I took and the world is already spinning.. I suddenly felt as if we were sitting upside-down. "Omo wetin dey happen na? Why we sidon like dis? Abeg mek una stand up make we sit down well" I said to mr A. "Hw we wan sidon again na, abi u don high?" Mr B responded.. "No oh I neva high oh, na u don high, u no see as dis men sidon well we com dey upside-down?" I replied. "Guy e be like say u don dey mad abi? Oya tek more drink" mr A said as he filled my cup up and passed it to me. I managed to collect the drink from his hand and almost poured it on the table. I drink it to half and dropped it on the table, no on an empty crate that we used as table... I drank about 5 cups of burkutu and I was maad high. I didn't know which way to go. I was confused, helpless and unstable. Then suddenly I felt my tommy started rumbling, "yeeee, omo I wan shyte oh, abeg mek una help me before I shyte for body oh" I complained bitterly but my friends kept laughing at me.. The thought I was joking until they heard a loud sound "gboooprapraprapaaaa" the sound echoed loudly and caught one of the soldiers attention. "Mmmmm, dis boy don sh'it for trouser oh!" D soldier man shouted.. "No oo oga I never sh'it oh, na only mess I mess oh" I apologised.. "Wetin mek u mess for here, abi u think na ur papa house u dey wey u go dey mess anyhow?" Another soldier said while he swung a dirty slap on my neck that I felt a small drop of sh'it coming down from my yanssh. "Ah oga abeg I no go sh'it, sorry mess again" I pleaded. My 2 friends were just laffin their dirty yansh out! "Una dey craze una no go help me beg oga abi" I cursed them but yet they continued to laff like some foools. They later decided that we go so I can find a place to drop my sh'it.. "Oya make we go big gutter make you sh'it, I get one wrap of igboh we kukuma smoke am there" mr B concluded. "Oya make we dey abeg before I shit for my boxers" I said as I walked-staggered holding my friend's shoulder. We got to the big canal known as 'big gur', I managed to pulled off my comabt chinos and hung it on a nearby tree. There were faeces everywhere in the big gutter cos the canal is behind a police barracks and almost all the boys in the barracks shyte in the canal. It has become a normal thing to shyte there. Even small children come to shyte there every morning leaving their own toilet at home. And u know how police barrack toilet dey be, especially dis particular barracks cos you can tell from the look of the environment.. I just wonder how falomo police barracks toilets will look like considering the view of the blocks in the barracks. You can see how dilapidated they blocks look when coming from falomo bridge.

Guys abeg time out.... I wan hussle here.. 31st night tinzzz loading 65%