₦airaland Forum

Wen she open it you will see white house down

How did this this thing get to front page moderator lasticala or what that name sef

Go and die nau

Flexherbal:
The first one made me laugh.

Who ask you

I don receive here o

osesology:
The only thing I can conclude from this ur post is that u seriously need a job!

And from your reply I see that you are also jobless like me and moreover you have no sense of humor. What a pity

AnotherSeun:
funny rubbish

See your teeth like funny rubbish

... see EHN Sometimes I will just sit down JEJE on my own and some FUNNY THOUGHTS will just CROP up in my HEAD. I will try to DISCARD 'THEM' thoughts but suddenly  I will start  thinking of the possibility of EXECUTING  the funny THOUGHTS... 

EHEN! Something like TICKLING the OKADA Man carrying me... (wetin go happen I no know)

GOING to the ABOKI selling suya to taste all the meat and at the end of the day not buying any instead I will run AWAY 

 GOING to the CINEMA  with lots of AGBALUMO instead of popcorn and sitting behind, (at the back back) then STONING people in the front with the seed (shebi dey will kukuma  off light?)

 Sometimes I feel like putting KEROSENE in the freezer to see if it will become ICED-KEROSENE (I mumu ehn) 

MAKE I just dey waka for ROAD make I just see 1Million naira PICK for ground (na who wan lost am?)

I'm so sure I'm not alone in this...Oya share your own funny thoughts.

Do you love fun and like to go wild and u are also in Benin. Send me a message

patrickdarlins:
I don't believe this shiit....


You typed these while on top of bed with your mother in law? Do you know this long post will worth your 2hours plus typing it?? You are a bloody lier!!


No one types this episode and remains the same spot they were.... This is fiction.... And it never happened...!

Lies...... Lier...... Bloody lier!!!!!!!

wetin happen, u too go type ur own..
.jealousy crew

Can I Phone God with the phone, $800 smh

This picture don reign pass nau, shey etisalat just give u 15mb after 4months. #Iranu #SuperStale

Oshiomole must hear this.....striaght. to ringroad

Short Funny Story 10/10

This is a true story of an unforgettable near death experience I had on the night of 24th December, 2015 that changed my life forever. I decided to share this story here not because I want you to castigate me for my act (you can’t castigate me more than I have castigate myself), but because I believe a lot of people will learn from it and thereby avoid the pitfall in the coming 2016. It all began when I attended the night church service held in my village. I came a little late so I wasn’t opportune to get a seat. I had to stand up for the mass. After standing in the cold for about an hour, my legs began to shiver, I decided to walk toward the church gate and back to stretch my near stiffed knees. As I got to the gate, I stood for a while and then turn around to walk back when I heard a female voice from the dark corner of the gate; she said, “it’s boring right? “. I walked toward her to get a clear view of who was talking; I saw a light skin girl sitting on a small flower pavement. I asked her “what’s boring?”. “The service , the night, everything” She replied. It was obvious she wanted us to have a conversation, so I quickly sat down beside her. To cut the story short, from our little conversation I got to know that her name is Aderoke, her father is from Ogun state while her mother is from my village. She was born and brought up in lagos and can’t speak or understand Igbo language (meanwhile the service was coordinate in igbo language). This was few things I was able to get from her before she told me she was shivering due to the cold. As a sharp guy i reasoned she wanted me to cuddle her, so I told her to draw closer so I can hold her. Without hesitation she moved closer and placed her head on my shoulder while I placed my hand around her waist. Everything went so fast, before I could say “bingo!” We were already into deep romance: kissing and groping . In the climax of it all she held me and whisper in my ear ” S* Ex me please”. As I look around for a more hidden corner, a part of me was persuading me to control my urge that she could be an agent of darkness sent to destroy me, and another part of me was telling me not to lose the opportunity that she’s just a lonely girl in need of some fun. I fell for the latter. I got a more hidden corner were we began to have it; first she bend low while I got on her back ; after awhile she suggested I sit on a pavement there while she climb on top. Few minutes afterward, I felt a sudden sharp pain on my butt, I thought it was an ant or something similar, but the pain grew bigger. With a trembling voice I told her to stop and get down that I think something bit me, but she was so carried aways that she couldn’t hear me out. As the pain kept increasing , I had to push her out of me . I stood up, flash my phone touch in the pavement and there was a long big snake rowed up . The strange girl screamed and ran away. By then I was already feeling dizzy and fainting, I managed to pull myself back into the church premises and disclose to someone that I have been bitten by a snake after which I lost conscious of myself. I heard I was even fuming from the mouth. After 2 days of serious traditional treatment, I regained consciousness. When I was asked to explain how I got bitten by a snake in the church, I didn’t know what to say. I can’t believe I nearly lost my life because of a few minutes romp with a total stranger, it’s a very shameful thing to tell your family. The only person i finally told the true of what transpired was a man of God; whom after praying, disclosed to me that the strange girl has a jealous spiritual husband who is a serpent. So the snake that bit me wasn’t ordinary. I believe God gave me a second chance for a reason. And I have sworn never to continue my careless lifestyle, I have given my life to God and anything premarital S* Ex is not for me anymore. I know it’s not easy to overcome temptation of premarital S* Ex, but I believe with pray and determination we can overcome anything. Guys join me and thank God for my life, and at the same time learn from my story. For the sake of your family and loved ones, stop living a careless life . Stop sleeping around with strangers, so many people knowingly or unknowingly have spiritual spouse, some of who are viciously jealous . S* Ex is sweet , but life is sweeter. Try and live a safe life in 2016. I pray God see us all through in Jesus name: Amen!

this guy deserve award seun, he has 8 other accounts

this one no be main chick and side chick. this one na when u have a three sum with an edo gal

this stuff is very stale nah.......why are u guys commending the op, u should be pitying him cos he is just leaving the stone age

the leg......get sense pls

jakesund:
Dear op, greetings on your profound studipit.y ...as soon as I saw the topic I knew another misguided youth is trying hard to be funny...this whole charade is STALE...stop creating irrelevant threads...

P.S
Was so funny I didn't know if I was laughing at the joke or ur astonishing childishness

I admire ur well constructed grammar but nevertheless u just wasted it on an irrevelent matter. what a sense full person we have in u

what a pity! there is no thought to be shared, go and play with sand

Unionised:
Children...

one person children........smp

How to Borrow Airtime from MTN Without Paying Back. . This will work for MTN Users Only Take Note!! . Follow the Steps below . 1. Borrow airtime by dialing *606#. 2. After you have exhausted the borrowed airtime, Dial *326# and change your date to 1/01/2010. 3. Remove your battery and Sim. 4. Insert the battery and Sim card back, you’ll receive a feedback Message from MTN saying :- Dear customer, the thunder that will fire you is still at the Gym doing press up. After we have helped your Broke ass by borrowing you airtime You still want to cheat Us. We would have involved the Police but for Old time customer sake we won't. Please Recharge your account so as to enable us deduct the credit we borrowed You. Thank You. Yesterday at 11:13 · Public

let's make it happen, everyone that will comment lets drop our instagram user name and as we do that before you comment follow everyone that comment before you.
my username is

oluwafemi237

use the hash tag #Nairaland so that people will know it is we we

39 ANCIENT WISDOM TIPS FOR SINGLES ON MARRIAGE
By Pastor Daniel K Olukoya
GO MFM
1. Wedding is a day but marriage is a lifetime.
2. A stingy man who is single will still be stingy when married.
3. Silence can never be misquoted.
4. If you want what no one has had, do what no one has done.
5. When God wants to bless you, he puts a person in your life; when Satan wants to destroy you, he puts a person in your life.
6. It is better to be single and alone, than to be married to the wrong person.
7. Avoid a contentious woman.
8. 3 Men to avoid: a. A womanizer b. A hot tempered man c. A drunkard.
9. Marrying a comedian does not guarantee a happy marriage.
10. Never be yoked to anyone who refuses to be yoked to Christ.
11. 3 words that echo peace in marriage: a. I am sorry b. Thank you c. I love you.
12. Don't waste your time meditating or dwelling on your singleness.
13. Co-habitation is a recipe for marital failure.
14. Deal with anti-marriage dreams.
15. Masturbation is destructive.
16. Marriage without friendship is like a sky without sun.
17. If you rush into marriage, you may end up with a person who will bury your destiny.
18. A successful marriage is always a triangle: A man, A woman, God.
19. Why you marry is as important as who you marry.
20. Much happiness in life depends on your marital choice.
21. A man needs divine wisdom from God in choosing who to marry.
22. Do not place your priority on good looks: no woman is ugly: she only needs 'rebranding'.
23. 3 Major characteristics to look for in a woman: 1. Fear of God, 2. Wisdom, 3. Discretion (Beauty is vain).
24. The best way to enslave a woman is to show love to her excessively-as a rule, women do not run away from where they are pampered.
25. Love is not blind, infatuation and lust is blind.
26. Love puts God first, Lust puts sex first.
27. Test every love with your peace of mind, if peace of mind is absent, God is not in it.
28. If you are a true friend, you will attract true friends.
29. Caring hearts never lack caring hands.
30. Desperation leads to frustration.
31. Bad marriages can be avoided before they begin.
32. Keep yourself pure and your bed undefiled.
33. It is spiritual insanity to plan on converting someone so you can marry the person.
34. Wage war against the devil that fought your parents' marriage.
35. Marriage is a covenant, always look before you leap.
36. It is better to be single and believing God to be married than to be married and believing God to be single.
37. A broken courtship is better than a failed marriage.
38. Do not marry money or property, marry a person.
39. Be presentable.

check jumia they are doing 70% discount sales

do we still have virgins in this world?

Take selfie with the lambogini

It is Risky, but u can give it a try

it shows that the societal value has really drop