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EventsAhievements In 2013 And 2014 Resolutions!!! by fattbabakay(op):
Nw dat 2013 is on d verge of going in2 extinction and 2014 is about 2 take ova d throne,I tink it's high tym we rub minds!!!
It's kinda obvious and beyond any state of doubt that so many stuffs were achieved by NAIRALANDERZ diz year and so many have been lined up 4 next year...So what are ur 2013 achievements and what are u looking up to in 2014huh

********As for me
,#1)I made 1 of d greatest moves in education diz year!!!
#2)it's been d most financially active year in history
#3)***winks***Made FP on NL

***As for 2014
..................................................................................
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 10:31am On Dec 31, 2013
Akalia: Some nairalanders are fond of putting up some gibberish thread. This story is all fiction and empty;nothing to learn from it.MGT. Should ve some sought of censor policy on dis network!!!
wu drag u enta herehuh
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:43am On Dec 31, 2013
Mavor: Am a bit puzzled as to why this junk made frontpage. It's obvious Seun and his mods use trash to drive traffic to Nairaland.
GO n DIE***in oshiomole's Voice***Dem drag u enta herehuh
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:27am On Dec 31, 2013
JbravoAdodger: Lamo that ur gyus fienrd is lkie a bad hlolwoyod vlailin, uwntiltlgiy silplnig all the scertes to the hireone(u)
huh?
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:26am On Dec 31, 2013
[quote author=Shir£ll£ baby]Y can u be creative enuf to put down a better short story?
A guy said all that on phone without waiting to hear from the recieving end?haba!
Ok,you just met a guy and had the courage to pick his call on a first date?haba!
Ok,i accept![/quote]tanx...buh it's juz a fiction anyway
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:23am On Dec 31, 2013
adadadon: Is this a love story huhhuhhuh?
jamb question
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:22am On Dec 31, 2013
nekaa: ehn? what will you tell Nneka shey? No need I don hear the full gist already...
story wey we no wan mak grandpa hear,na grandpa dey resolve am***sobbing***
LiteratureRe: A UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op): 9:21am On Dec 31, 2013
[quote author=Vic-jay]fully subscribed....
@op are the one on that pic?

Vic-jay[/quote]ehnnn,u wan applyhuh
LiteratureA UNILAG Babe's Twitter Love Story by fattbabakay(op):
My name is Monica and this is my story.

It all started on a Sunday evening, I felt so big because I cannot lower my standards to start talking to some dead girls. I mean I’m a big girl, I should be found with bigger girls and bigger boys. Anyways that’s aside. My roommates were not around so I decided to start tweeting. I didn’t really have anything to tweet, I went through peoples tweet so i started stealing people's tweets. Most of my followers were retweetting it because it was really making sense. My roommates got back but I ignored them because I was really having fun on twitter.

Around 1:00 am I got a DM from a guy, I almost ignored it but I checked it. It was just ‘hi’ from a guy. I checked his avi, OMG this guy is so handsome and on point plus he has over 5000 followers. Definitely, he must be a big boy and he should have cash, this attracted me to him and we started chatting; in my mind I have found new maga. He introduced himself and told me he is loving my tweets because they really inspire him. I told him they were all my thoughts.

He must have believed me because the next thing I knew he started telling me his life story. He told me how his girl friend broke his heart and all, he said he loved the girl so much and gave her everything she wanted; he gave her an I phone 4 and also got her a diamond ring he proposed to her with. All this got me thinking of when I would be getting my own diamond ring. Since he got her an Iphone 4 I might get the new Z10! Finally, someone to change my blackberry bold1. He also mentioned giving her the key to his house in Lekki when he was travelling to America to see his parents.

My eyes were wide opened that was how I knew that YES this guy is perfectly boxed up. I wasn’t going to let him think I was the broke one, so I started forming for him too. I lied to him about how rich my parents were . I started consoling him and telling him that not all girls are the same. Not because I pity him but common this guy is young and rich and this kind of fresh fish cannot slip away from my hand NO! When he called me, I spoke with a black American accent I learned from watching TV.

Soon we started planning our first meeting. He asked me for how much I needed. I replied. No thanks, I don’t need your money. He sensed I
was being modest and he asked me if 100 thousand naira will be adding that he would give it to me when I come over. I had to look good to impress this guy, my broke ass had only two thousand naira. I went ahead to buy a Brazilian weave on credit. I also borrowed thirty five thousand naira from a friend. I made a good meal. I got new clothes and other stuffs. Nneka had warned me not to come back to school if I didn’t get her money.

We met. While he drove me to the undisclosed place, I talked and laughed at his dry jokes. We got to lekki he stopped by one of the houses, he said he wanted to get something from his friend. Immediately he left, his phone rang but I didn’t pick up, the fourth time the person called I picked up and the person said “I get your message say you don pick the girl, abeg wait for me before you start to dey knack am because I wan knack am too. We go do a before you ask for her ATM card and pin oo. Since you talk say na rich girl, he mean say she go get correct money. No Bleep up oo before she go no say you be broke guy, continue to dey form fonee u hear, helooo, hello, hello”.

I took my things, entered the next cab I saw………. Haaaaa BAD MARKET. Wat will I tell Nneka!!!


Yaaaaaaaaaaaa finally made FP***slaughters chicken*** More posts coming in due time!!!
25 Likes
Music/RadioRe: Open Letter To The Headies Awards 2013 by fattbabakay(m): 4:30pm On Dec 30, 2013
ajasa4link: The author of this trash is just a bitter niggar who will complain about everything that doesn't go his way ,just making baseless accusations. The problem is people like him think they know everything when they actually know next to nothing. Hear him call Don jazzy and tiwa savage " mavin slaves " as if any of his family members is half as successful as the two stars are.
Even a deaf man knows olamide's Ybnl is the most successful rap album in the period under review (mid 2012 - June 2013), but our bitter friend here will not agree with that and even accuse olamide of commercializing rap when in fact,reminisce,vector, phyno and his other hyped thin God are guilty of the same offence. And for u to even consider ice prince as what rap represents says a whole lot about what u know about hiphop.
For God's sake,stop asking the dumb question why this or that answer did not win the award,the answer is simple; BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE U DID NOT VOTE FOR UR CHOICE,BUT WILL RATHER COMPLAIN WHEN UR ARTIST OF CHOICE DID NOT WIN ANYTHING.
Saying some artists won the award because they were mtn ambassadors is just a baseless conspiracy theory because there u have waje to negate ur claim.
Yeah,the organisers had some flops coming from their end,but spreading a conspiracy theory because u don't agree with final outcome of the awards is damn irresponsible of u.

LAST BULLET: stop saying u speak for majority of Nigerians u know the truth because u don't know shiit, u are just.a bitter unsuccessful dude trying to sell ur beer parlor talk to us as fact.
GO AND DIE!!!***In Oshiomole's voice***@OP I gbadun u jhor,diz 1 is juz 1 of doz hungry attention seekers!!!
ComputersRe: I Forgot The Password To My Laptop, Pls Help by fattbabakay(m): 2:36pm On Dec 29, 2013
big head: After u fat a$$
big head,no B...jez a burden 2 d neck!!!
RomanceRe: Common Words Guys Use And Their Meanings by fattbabakay(m): 2:33pm On Dec 29, 2013
Preceedo: A sequel to the thread that talked about the secret meanings to girls words during conversation.

Guys ,too, have theirs.

1. "When are you going?"- A polite way of saying "are you still here". Just pick ur things and go immediately when a guy says this.

2. "You are sexy/hot"- Many girls take this as "beautiful". No, it means I's like to have you in bed one day.

3."I'm busy for now"- it means you are boring.

4. "You are like a sister to me"- If ur boyfriend say this to you, he means you don't arouse him sexually(no affection).

5." What do you mean"- When ur arguing with a guy and he asks what you mean. He's surprise that you are so right, he knows you are on point and may discover the secret so he pretends not to understand.

5. "I'm not ready for a serious relationship"- He means you are not a wife material or at least to him.

6. " I'm sorry "- I'm in the mood. Pls come to bed. Except he says it and does not ask you 4 sex that's when he really means it.

7. "Do you have a boyfrieend?"-means "I wonder what he sees in you". If he wants to have you, he wont ask.

8. "You're looking alright/okay"- You are not beautiful. Just average.

9. "Okay, no problem"- This does not mean the case is settled. It means "wait and see".

10. " Are you serious?"- Ur behaving immature/childish.

11. " I don't understand you these days"- I have seen another better chick outside. U've been replaced already.

12. "Do you love me?"- He is not expecting a "Yes or No". He is saying "Prove it". May be on bed.

13. "What perfume do you use"- You have body odour and he's recommending a deodorant for you.

14. " Don't mention"- I know why I helped you and I won't accept "thank you" as a reward.

15. "This dress is too small for you"- you are putting on weight unneccessarily.

16. "I'll call you". Pls don't call me.

17."You look like my mother"- You breast don sag finish.

Do you agree?
Add urs guys

Edited:- Praaaaaaaiiiise the lord. Brethren, I want to thank God for the salvation of my soul. Secondly, I want to appreciate God for protection me and provision me.

Brethren God has finarry does it. I has been blowsing with my nokia 3310 on nailarand. I have did all i should does to make flont page but all to no avail.

I don suffer for nairaland. Some people tell me to "Go and die" others say i resemble "Obasenjo"
some even discomboburate my head with oyibo wey my papa no know the meaning.
But today God has did it, he has does it. Now I stand gidigba for frontpage. Thousands of people go con dey read my post. Me wey be like tooth pick. Pllllaise the lord. Harreruyah.

I want to uses my testimony as a medium of contact to all nairalander wey never reach front page say the God wey do my own go do una own. Pastor thank for ur player ooo. Oga seun u too much. The mod wey take over from SEXKILLZ God go bress and surplice you. People wey comment 4 dis thread I thank una werru wel.

My choir abeg sing skelewu make i take thank my God
u reach frontpage,hw much dem pay u??
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga)Suarez:"i'll Bite IVANOVIC Again!!! by fattbabakay(op): 2:08pm On Dec 29, 2013
Hey CHELSEA freaks,WATCHOUT!!! for SUAREZ today as he has promised to bite IVANOVIC again no matter what it takes!!!omoh wic kind wahala b diz nw...
Christianity EtcRe: The 10 Most AWKWARD Moments In Church by fattbabakay(op): 1:55pm On Dec 29, 2013
chymystique: No 4 and 5 is so annoyin esp that no 5... Et pisses me off like crazy.. Wahs d use wakin me wen if d so callled usher leaves I continue ma slp undecided
so na sleep u dey go sleep 4 chc??
Christianity EtcRe: The 10 Most AWKWARD Moments In Church by fattbabakay(op): 1:02pm On Dec 29, 2013
josh001: I beg to differ, there is no awkward moment in church, it just depends on who you are and what you are there for, i am in church because i desire fellowship with God and with brethen, and with God, noting goes awkward, even when david went naked dancing, it wasnt awkward, she who thought it awkward(michal),went barren
if u wan fight,go SABO...abi dem drag u enta here?
Christianity EtcRe: The 10 Most AWKWARD Moments In Church by fattbabakay(op): 11:29am On Dec 29, 2013
zazi akoni: is dat why you didnt go to church today, berra get up now and go abi na NL be ur church?
haaa boss I went 2 church oo nd infact all of d above happend 2 me in chc 2day!!
Christianity EtcRe: The 10 Most AWKWARD Moments In Church by fattbabakay(op): 11:11am On Dec 29, 2013
Wic 1 of diz has happened 2 u b4huh
Christianity EtcThe 10 Most AWKWARD Moments In Church by fattbabakay(op): 11:10am On Dec 29, 2013
That awkward moment in church when:

You enter the church some minutes to the end of the service and all eyes fall on you.

They're singing a particular song which you don't even know it exists

Everyone is dancing as if there's a gift for it and you're the odd one out, standing like a vertical log of wood

You're to dance to the front to drop your offering and the person in front of you is engaging in an endless buttock-shaking Shoki dance, blocking your way forward

You're being tapped by the usher, telling you to stop sleeping, then you will be like "i no dey sleep na", with sleepy red eyes

The pastor asks you to look at your neighbour eyeball to eyeball and your neighbour has only one eye...You gats close one of ur eyes too.

Wen your pastor asks you to pray that you'll buy that house you're living in as a tenant IJN and your landlord is sitting next to u, winking at you.

When you're to drink the holy communion and it pours on your white cloth


When the pastor is pointing at someone at your back and everyone is looking at you

Wen sinners are asked to come to the front and the whole church is still seated, lookin 4 who will stand up 1st!!

When virgins are asked to come forward and your mum is sitting next to you, smiling with the confidence of what u are not


Add yours......
Christianity EtcRe: Pastor Attemps To Walk On Water,drowns!!! by fattbabakay(op): 7:12pm On Dec 28, 2013
phemswag: He lacks enough faith to carry out such miracle.
Simple!!!
na so
Christianity EtcPastor Attemps To Walk On Water,drowns!!! by fattbabakay(op): 5:53pm On Dec 28, 2013
A news organization, WORLDNETDAILY has
reported the following unfortunate incident:
“An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus’
miracle of walking on water has
reportedly drowned off the western coast
of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his
congregation he could repeat the biblical
miracle, and he attempted it from a beach
in Gabon’s capital of Libreville. ‘He told
churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if
he had enough faith, he could walk on
water like Jesus,’ an eyewitness told the
Glasgow Daily Record.
‘He took his congregation to the beach
saying he would walk across the Komo
estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat.
He walked into the water, which soon
passed over his head and he never came
back.’
A researcher at Florida State University
believes he has a natural explanation for
the account of Jesus’ miraculous walk on
the surface of water — ice. Professor of
Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-
authors of his study theorize that a rare
combination of optimal water and
atmospheric conditions resulted in a
unique, localized freezing phenomenon
called ‘springs ice.’"
This horrible incident, together with a
“professor’s” response, progresses from the
tragically untaught to the supremely obtuse.
“‘Pastor’ Kabele” obviously was a very sincere
man; but sincerity does not nullify ignorance. I
do not use this term in a pejorative way. All of
us are ignorant in some matters. It’s just that
sometimes one form of ignorance can have a
greater consequence than others. In the first
place it should be noted that “revelations”
from God do not occur today. When the Old
Testament era came to an end in Malachi’s day,
400 years passed with no “revelations” from
God. This era frequently is described as “the
four silent centuries.”
With the coming of a new age, from the
commencement of Jesus’ ministry to the death
of the apostle John, there was another
relatively brief period when supernatural
revelation and signs were manifest. When the
New Testament was completed, and the
apostles and other people possessing
miraculous abilities died, no further signs
were provided.
Had poor Mr. Kabele known his Bible better,
he would not have attempted his “miracle”
feat; had he possessed a moderate amount of
common sense, he quickly would have
discovered he could not “walk on water,”
before the sea finally took him.
Christiancourier
Christianity EtcPreacher Attempts To Walk On Water,drowns!!! by fattbabakay(op): 5:07pm On Dec 28, 2013
A news organization, WORLDNETDAILY has
reported the following unfortunate incident:
“An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus’
miracle of walking on water has
reportedly drowned off the western coast
of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his
congregation he could repeat the biblical
miracle, and he attempted it from a beach
in Gabon’s capital of Libreville. ‘He told
churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if
he had enough faith, he could walk on
water like Jesus,’ an eyewitness told the
Glasgow Daily Record.
‘He took his congregation to the beach
saying he would walk across the Komo
estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat.
He walked into the water, which soon
passed over his head and he never came
back.’
A researcher at Florida State University
believes he has a natural explanation for
the account of Jesus’ miraculous walk on
the surface of water — ice. Professor of
Oceanography Doron Nof and the co-
authors of his study theorize that a rare
combination of optimal water and
atmospheric conditions resulted in a
unique, localized freezing phenomenon
called ‘springs ice.’"
This horrible incident, together with a
“professor’s” response, progresses from the
tragically untaught to the supremely obtuse.
“‘Pastor’ Kabele” obviously was a very sincere
man; but sincerity does not nullify ignorance. I
do not use this term in a pejorative way. All of
us are ignorant in some matters. It’s just that
sometimes one form of ignorance can have a
greater consequence than others. In the first
place it should be noted that “revelations”
from God do not occur today. When the Old
Testament era came to an end in Malachi’s day,
400 years passed with no “revelations” from
God. This era frequently is described as “the
four silent centuries.”
With the coming of a new age, from the
commencement of Jesus’ ministry to the death
of the apostle John, there was another
relatively brief period when supernatural
revelation and signs were manifest. When the
New Testament was completed, and the
apostles and other people possessing
miraculous abilities died, no further signs
were provided.
Had poor Mr. Kabele known his Bible better,
he would not have attempted his “miracle”
feat; had he possessed a moderate amount of
common sense, he quickly would have
discovered he could not “walk on water,”
before the sea finally took him.
Christiancourier
Christianity EtcRe: Smart Phones Are Demonic: A Nairalanders Experience by fattbabakay(m): 4:59pm On Dec 28, 2013
LadyH: you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I catch u!
e dey owe uhuh
Nairaland GeneralRe: What "OP" Stands For? by fattbabakay(m): 4:45pm On Dec 28, 2013
@OP...dey no go skul?
Nairaland GeneralRe: What "OP" Stands For? by fattbabakay(m): 4:42pm On Dec 28, 2013
oluswaggz: Av always tot it was "original poster" tnx for d info. To oda nairalanders dt are jst getting to kno dis also. Jst swallow ur pride nd tnk him ooo.


Oh jeez. I knew dis topic wud make fp. I no hustle in vain.
Well u guys kno wr am going bt I wnt say it..










If I hear!!!

FTCgrin wat a good way to end dis year..
Dis is my time to shine. Am d first to comment nd I even av my own topic on d fp nd av got over 70 likes elsewhere!!! Naso person dey make am be dat ooo.. Tuale baba God for d FAME!!!!...
hw much dem giv uhuh
Christianity EtcRe: Smart Phones Are Demonic: A Nairalanders Experience by fattbabakay(m): 4:40pm On Dec 28, 2013
Huh!Bored attention seekers!!!
RomanceRe: Five Words ladies Use in a conversation and their meaning. by fattbabakay(m): 2:50am On Dec 28, 2013
[quote author=flawless..S]u are right when I say kk or k it simple means am no more interested in the chat any other message am not going to reply[/quote]kip formin hard-to-get wen oda gals get married evry saturday!!!
ComputersRe: I Forgot The Password To My Laptop, Pls Help by fattbabakay(m): 7:37pm On Dec 27, 2013
GO n DIE!!!***In Oshiomole'S Voice***
FamilyRe: Just Discovered I Have A 9 Year Old Daughter by fattbabakay(m): 7:24pm On Dec 27, 2013
GO n DIE***in Oshiomole's voice***
Jobs/VacanciesRe: Top 10 Highest Paid Jobs In Africa by fattbabakay(op): 9:46am On Dec 27, 2013
alotofgrace: oga head user, did i say politics? if u ask a politician where they are going on workdays morning, what would their response be?
woeva!
Music/RadioRe: HEADIES AWARD 2013 Full List Of Winners by fattbabakay(op): 9:35am On Dec 27, 2013
mikuz: The lyricist of the year category is the most annoying award category ever. WTF . . . Mode nine is the only lyricist in Nigeria or what?
shud av been Olamide
Music/RadioRe: HEADIES AWARD 2013 Full List Of Winners by fattbabakay(op): 9:01am On Dec 27, 2013
Quartermain: ARtist of d year - iYanYa....sum1 wake me up plz.. :-XARtist of d year - iYanYa....sum1 wake me up plz..
I wonder Y ppl do hype dat Iyanya,he's lyk #shit 2 me
Music/RadioRe: HEADIES AWARD 2013 Full List Of Winners by fattbabakay(op): 9:00am On Dec 27, 2013
martha: So My Zamani Didnt Win Anything? cry
I was also surprised o

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