₦airaland Forum

Just to lighten ur day!!!


The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

uchetobi:
Hi everyone, work is been crazy thats why i havent been posting in a while, hope everything has been going on well? cheers

You are welcome back. Don't complain about your job, ^{i think to whom much is given at the end of the month so much is required of him or her} . It is well!!!!

OlowoTee:
@ Adennem

Dear sister,
One thing is needful. . . and that is Genuine Repentance from all sins! and once you do that, God would answer all your prayers and you'd doubt no more

I'd suggest you give God a second chance in your life. Let Him be the Lord of All things in you. Ask for His forgiveness for your pass misdeeds and ask Him to give you grace to sin no more. This is needful. . . He forgives and cleanses!
He can do it, He's done it before and for a whole lots of others, you can't be an exception. Though the Christian race is not 'easy'. . . .it is very narrow, it demands lots of sacrifices . . . . .you must be ready to pay.

But cheer up, "for it is the will the Father to give you the Kingdom". I pray God to sustain and keep you growing in Him.

Nice weekend

Jesus loves you.

Nothing more to say, she said it all. But watch it before you take that decision next time. Do have a nice weekend, BABY GIRL.

I promise to pray for all of you at the camp tonight.

Remember me too. SHALLOM!!!!!!!!!!!

i hope we are praying.

God, we gathered knowing that distance is never a barrier to answer our prayers.

Holy father, hear the cry of your  children and do more than we can ever had understanding to pray in the name of your son JESUS.

AMEN!!!!!!! ??

A business tycoon was at a social gathering where other monguls
and wealthy men were present. The businessman looked for all
ways to
oppress the other rich men who were present at the gathering.
Just for that
foolish reason, he sent for his driver and had this conversation
with him:


"Driver, go to my house, not the green one, the red one. Not the red one in
Ikoyi, the red one in Victoria Island. Not the one on Adeola
Odeku, the one on Etim Iyang Crescent. Not No 22, but No 11. It is a black gate you will
see, fling it open. You will see a green Honda Civic.
Perpendicularly, adjacently opposite to the Civic is a blue Toyota Carina E. It is not that one.
Trigonometrically,geometrically, hypotenously 90 degrees to the 306 is
a Mazda 929. It is not that one. The Mazda is very close to a regular
Benz, the regular Benz is behind a 406, the 406 is beside Volvo
S40 which is in front of a Honda Accord blocking a Toyota RAV 4 opposite a Honda CRV.
That makes a crescent to the Prado Jeep.
On getting to the Prado Jeep, make a diagonal sharpturn to the left extreme right top corner, on
your way to where I parked the M-Class, very close tothe E-Class in front of the Beast
at the back of the swimming pool is alovely S. Type Jaguar.
Don't touch the bonnet.
Go to the boot, fling it open. You will see red, white and
blue briefcases. The red one contains dollars, 10 million dollars.
Don't touch it. The blue contains pounds, 8 millionpounds. Don't touch it.

The white one contains Naira, 500s, 200s, 100s, 50s, 20s, 10s
denominations. I arranged them in hierarchical order.
500 Nairas in first layer, 200 Nairas
in second, 100 Nairas 3rd layer, 50 Nairas 4th layer, 20 Nairas
5naira and 10 Nairas top floor.
Take one 10 Naira. Go and use it to buy pure
water, and don't forget to bring my change!"

AS WE WAIT FOR OUR PRAYER TIME PLS, READ THIS AS WELL, JUST TO LIGHTEN UR DAY!

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed" he said. "Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start". The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email." "I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job." The man left with no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. 5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US .
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance. He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email ". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!" The man thought for a while and replied, " Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"
Moral of the story :M1- Internet /email is not the solution to your life.
M2-: If you don't have internet / email , and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
M3: If you received this message by email, you are probably already an office boy/girl, and not any close to being a Billionaire,
Have a great day!!!


P.S I' m closing my email & going to sell tomatoes!!! , (Laugh)

dipo2much:
THEY SAID ALL KIND OF NONSENSE.
SAID IT WOULD BE EASIER FOR A CAMEL TO PASS THRU THE EYE OF A NEEDLE THAN FOR US TO BEAT AC-MILAN AT SAN SIRO.
NOW THEY ALL COVER THEIR HEADS IN SHAME.

TO EVERYONE WHO BELIEVED STRONGLY THAT WE COULD BEAT AC-MILAN AT SAN SIRO: I LOVE YOU

TO THOSE WHO THOUGHT WE COULDNT DO IT: YOU OWE US AN APOLOGY

THE REAL MEN WOULD APOLOGISE,THE COWARDS WILL SAY RUBBISH, LISTEN TO THEM

Like the defeat of goliath by david, all the enemies of the best club in the world ARSENAL are died. Never to rise no more!!!!! God pass them all.

Thanks all. will try it.

hamabra:
@all.
i want to thank God that finally my offer letter was handed over to me by Fidelity bank last thursday.
i want to thank u all for your sincere prayers, God will attend to all your heart request this month.remain blessed LOVE You ALL

Congrats! when we go wash am?

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost;
When health is lost, something is lost;
When character is lost, all is lost!

German Proverb


The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs.
But, if you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith,
a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

I pray we all we make it in HIS NAME. shallom!!!

My baby girl is 5yrs she still bet wet, even during the day.
what can i do to stop her bed wetting hence forth.
Help!!!!!!!

Dear fellow Gunners, Let us pray,
[center]Ever lasting father, give us this day.Put to shame all our detractors, those who thought they are better than the best club in the world arsenal. Just has you put to shame mighty goliath when he stood against small david; deal with arsenal's enemies today and forevermore.

Just has nobody gave david any chance against goliath but it took only one stone to quiet not only goliath but isael's Chelsea,man u liverpool & other quiet enemies , do it for us today again. I JESUS name we prayed!!!!!

Can i get a loud AMEN in the house.

Dis was my prayer yesterday. What i forgot to say is that after goliath fell, david cut the head of goliath. And that was what we did yesterday.

To all our present day goliath and philistines, its time you absolutely shut up!

Tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere ARSENAL FOOTBALL CLUB IS THE GREATEST CLUB IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!

How come only one person has said AMEN!! to my prayer.

Can i ve more witnesses in the house?

Adennem:
Good Day to all our wonderful member in this forum,


I really appreciate everyone's prayers! And word of Hopes! Thank you!
May you all be blessed in abundantly In Jesus Name!

while we all wait on God for you, you must endure to follow biblcal injunctions in all you do. Sometimes, desperacy can make one to make wrong decisions or one may be tempted to compromise on issue that one shouldnt.

Baby girl, lets watch and pray!
SHALLOM!!!

i think we should be celebrating His ressurection instead of his death.Dont get me wrong, his death is important too, But, Ressurection is far more impotant.Every other suppsed prophets died but only the PRINCE OF PEACE ressurected. Ressurection is what has made us what we are today.How did come to the date anyway?

[center]Dear fellow Gunners, Let us pray,
[center]Ever lasting father, give us this day.Put to shame all our detractors, those who thought they are better than the best club in the world ^arsenal. Just has you put to shame mighty goliath when he stood against small david; deal with arsenal's enemies today and forevermore.

Just has nobody gave david any chance against goliath but it took only one stone to quiet not only goliath but isael's _{Chelsea,man u liverpool & other quiet enemies} , do it for us today again. I JESUS name we prayed!!!!![/center]
Can i get a loud AMEN in the house. [/center] [left][/left]

Am a big gunner 4 ever. Never scared of being one. But just thinking aloud.
To those intruders, no matter what you say, arsenal remains the BEST club in the world. Chikena!

O father, we in this forum join our faith together with our dear sister,adennem that You make way for her.Now that she has decided to follow you accordingly, father, make a difference in her life. Give her a testimony that is outstanding.
If this relationship she is presently in is your perfect will for her please, let it work. if not, give her your will in JESUS name.
Empower her to leave for you always.

[/quote][quote author=Adennem link=topic=59716.msg2016992#msg2016992 date=1204548913]MY PRAYER REQUEST


A lady of 35 comes August this year, and i am still single, well all my life no man have ever LOVE me and out of Fear of loneliness I started dating married man than in Oct last year I told GOD that i will never do it again.

And in Jan this year i meet a guy on the net while charting we became firends, but we are not in the same state and he has visited me twice in Jan and Feb. but my fear now is He is 36 and i am 35, will the distance allow us to be more committed.

please PAR FOR ME, AS THE AGE IS ON LONGER ON MY SIDE. FOR ME TO KNOW IF THIS GUY IS God's PLAN FOR ME.

BUT I LOVE HIM.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS

Guys, am new on this forum.

Am seriously afraid, more than ever before that we might not win anything this season again. The thought of it alone gives me goose pimples. I hope dis is been read by gunners only.

Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural.
There are no batteries to replace,
it's inflation-proof and non-fattening
with no monthly payments.
It's non-taxable, non-polluting,
and is, of course, fully refundable.
Author Unknown

Pls, put a smile to somebody this weekend

Guys quite a longtime.Missed you guys hope are all still bubbling in the faith. Duty took me away but am back for good.Truly, i missed u all.
I brought these for everyone:

The Seven Wonders of the World
by Author Unknown

Junior high school students in Chicago were studying the Seven Wonders of the World . At the end of the lesson, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven Wonders of the World . Though there was some disagreement, the following received the most votes:


1. Egypt 's Great Pyramids
2. The Taj Mahal in India
3. The Grand Canyon in Arizona
4. The Panama Canal
5. The Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China 's Great Wall
While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn't turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."

The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:

1. to touch,
2. to taste,
3. to see,
4. to hear, (She hesitated a little, and then added, )
5. to feel,
6. to laugh,
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet; you could have heard a pin drop.

May this story serve as a gentle reminder to all of us that the things we overlook as simple and ordinary are often the most wonderful - and we don't have to travel anywhere special to experience them.

2)
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Winston Churchill[color=#000099][/color]

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.


A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.

But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work .

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a
"life, "

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to BE one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.!

and dis

T.D. Jakes was returning to Texas after a speaking engagement. When his plane arrived, there was a limousine there to transport him to his home in Dallas. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am almost 50 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?" The driver said, "No problem. Have it."
T.D. gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure. The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law but I also know that important people are sometimes given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person." "The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that."
The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?" The young trooper said, I think its Jesus because he's got T. D.Jakes for a chauffeur!!!!!

Fileki:
GOD, we cannot ask u why, u said in evrything we should give thanks, so i thank u for this incident with uchetobi's cousin, please console her and give her peace that calms the earthly sorrw, comfort her and be her husband and a friend,please be every thing she needs to her.

give her the strength to carry on,
in Jesus name Amen!

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH! how i hate pp losing dre spouses.

Koro, Jesus succeded here on earth and even beyond, as a child of HIS SUCCESS is urs in His name.
Congrats!!!!

seun, was looking forward to your project but cant feature in it now because am currently on location acting &directing cyberia ---a soap opera. i which you the best

femi

jUST WANT TO ENCOURAGE  YOU WITH DIS SAYINGS:

Success in a marriage is more than finding the right person.
It's becoming the right person.
- Unknown

It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life.

And this:

Cherokee Legend
================

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.

He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.

He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

~Author Unknown~

I will see you guys when i can sneak out of Location again to be lifted by God's people. I will miss you all!

Shallom!!!!!

jUST WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU WITH DIS SAYINGS:

Success in a marriage is more than finding the right person.
It's becoming the right person.
- Unknown

It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life.

And this:

Cherokee Legend
================

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone.

He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it.

He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.

He cannot tell the other boys of this experience because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm.

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

~Author Unknown~

I will see you guys when i can sneak out of Location again to be lifted by God's people. I will miss you all!

Shallom!!!!!

Hello guys! how are things? Been away 4 a long time i greatly missed you all. happy belated birthday to you tete. i missed it.

To every1 i know you will remain strong in the Lord!

I ve to run somewhere to send dis b4 i get back to work. Am in the jungle of lagos shooting season 2 of cyberia.(i know a lot of you dont know am into movies/tv productions. i will still be away for some time.

Pls, keep praying for my family as i am doing for u all.

I LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An on-line friend of mine sent me dis info. you can get across to him if u are interested:

HP nc6000 Pentuim M 1.6GHZ, 60GB HDD, 1GB DDR RAM, CDROM/DVDROM, WINDOW XP PRO, WIRELESS LAN, INFRARED, 15'' SCREEN, N70,000.

HP nc6000 Pentuim M 1.6GHZ, 60GB HDD, 512MB DDR RAM, CDROM/DVDROM, WINDOW XP PRO, WIRELESS LAN, INFRARED, 15'' SCREEN, N65,000.

HP nc6000 Pentuim M 1.6GHZ, 40GB HDD, 512MB DDR RAM, CDROM/DVDROM, WINDOW XP PRO, WIRELESS LAN, INFRARED, 15'' SCREEN, N65,000.

CALL ME FOR MORE INFORMATION. 08033924627. OR 3b PEPPLE STREET OPP ZENITH BANK IKEJA COMPUTER VILLAGE.

He is an ONLINE FRIEND!!! i GUESS THE PRIZES ARE NEGOTIABLE.

Just to lighten our day.

A bible researcher interviewed Hausa, Yoruba and Ibo folks to know what they
would rather change in the bible if they were given the chance.

The Hausa man said: "Walahi, the adulteress Jesus asked to go should have
been stoned fa!"

The Ibo man replied: "Nna , I can't understand why Judas returned the money
after selling Jesus. In short, he is not a good business man."

The Yoruba man retorted: " Jesus should have waited just one more day before
raising Lazarus from the dead. They must have already paid for the ASO -EBI. At
least he should have allowed them enjoy the OWAMBE before performing his
miracle!!!

Now aren't you glad we cannot alter God's word!

May the Original blessings of God be with you now and always.

Have a Fun day.