₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Well, what I can tell you is that before 2020, I struggled with mental and neurological problems, which eventually overwhelmed my mind and caused it to crash— around 2016 (I even lost my language in 2012- aphasia). After recovering a bit of my mind, I took to working my way through my knowledge, particularly the subjects I felt were important for operating well as an adult beginning at grade level — Math, English Grammar and comprehension, Logic(fallacies included), and the sciences. And since then, I have not only kept at it, but I make it a thing to practise daily.

There was some neurodivergency to my diagnosis back then —Adhud— and spotting patterns has been second nature to me for a long time. I have almost always used that to my advantage in most everything in life, relationships, and discussions here on Nairaland. 🥱🥱

But, I hate to disappoint you, but I don't use AI. I mean, I will get to a point where my brain can focus enough to learn and make sense of AI tools, I suppose. What I use are the auto-correction tools that come with my word correction on my phone or on the web(Grammarly, for example). I am still not sure why I would need to use AI like ChatGPT or something when I have my brain and can learn to write effectively, write correct sentences, paragraphs, and eventually essays(still working on that).

I don't know what a logic grinder is or what it entails. The local library has lots of books on logic that one can read to learn how to logically process information and arguments.

3. You may have had one year, but I have had at least 6 years of working on and practicing— here on Nairaland regularly — my logic, language comprehension, grammar skills, and argumentative skills. Check my number of posts to see this. I have not been engaging regularly for no reason.

Kobojunkie:
1. . But I don't use Ai. I literally type out every word I can and use text correction to correct my spelling mistakes where possible. It seems to me either your AI plagiarism detector is broken --- also think you are too obsessed with it -- or you are not configuring it correctly.

2. Voluntary service is also a.form of submission. Either you are submitting to the terms set by the organization you volunteer with or you submit to some inner desire of yours to serve others believing it is good that counts towards something bigger than yourself. Again, service/slavery is born from submission. 🥱🥱

3. There is nothing like modern corruption. The religion has been corrupt from its beginnings -- the very first non-israelites who took it on themselves to high Jack the ideas espoused by the original Israelites for the purpose of their own benefit and greed in Rome -- it was all political from its beginnings. 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. As explained, it all has to do with subjecting oneself to that which holds higher authority over a one...the power above one on a hierarchy. 🥱🥱

2. You volunteered to yield authority to your government -- an authority over your person ---in service. Why do you keep protesting even when the facts are before you? 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Thou does protect too much! 🥱🥱🥱

Please go investigate the meaning and roots of the word Submission at this point to understand why I keep insisting that service implies submission.

Kobojunkie:
Thou does protect too much! 🥱🥱🥱

Please go investigate the meaning and roots of the word Submission at this point to understand why I keep insisting that service implies submission.

Kobojunkie:
Thou does protect too much! 🥱🥱🥱

Please go investigate the meaning and roots of the word Submission at this point to understand why I keep insisting that service implies submission.

Kobojunkie:
You are not aware that Christianity, as you have it today, originally branched out from the religion of Catholicism around the 1600s?

Kobojunkie:
You served your country implies you submitted yourself to the terms of service put forth by your country. To join the army, even the volunteer service, you have to submit to the lead of those above you, do you not?

2. Sure, you may have had that freedom but everything you supposedly did for your country,had to be according to stipulations set by your country, was it not? I mean you didn't go out robbing banks and boozing up all day and night while claiming it was all in service to your country, right?

Submission is simply an agreement between an individual and another giving the other -- a hierarchical contract.

Kobojunkie:
What you have today as the religion of Christianity is a part of the political movement started by Romans back towards the end of the Ist century AD. There was also the political movement that attempted usurping the gods of the Grecians but that movement was eventually overtaken by the movement that attempted usurping the ideas of the Israelites at the time.

2. Completely wrong given that the God of Abraham made it clear that His chosen people were the descendants of Jacob to whom He gave the name Israel to. Recall His name YHWH points the Him being God of Israel...not God of the Greeks or Rome or America but Israel, the bloodline He marked using His name as His own.🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. . But I don't use Ai. I literally type out every word I can and use text correction to correct my spelling mistakes where possible. It seems to me either your AI plagiarism detector is broken --- also think you are too obsessed with it -- or you are not configuring it correctly.

2. Voluntary service is also a.form of submission. Either you are submitting to the terms set by the organization you volunteer with or you submit to some inner desire of yours to serve others believing it is good that counts towards something bigger than yourself. Again, service/slavery is born from submission. 🥱🥱

3. There is nothing like modern corruption. The religion has been corrupt from its beginnings -- the very first non-israelites who took it on themselves to high Jack the ideas espoused by the original Israelites for the purpose of their own benefit and greed in Rome -- it was all political from its beginnings. 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
1. I don't need to be a Christian to realize the fraud that is Christianity and all other religions out there. 🥱🥱🥱

2. I definitely know the origins of Christianity and know for a fact that it is not directly or indirectly connected with the people written about in that book of books called the Bible.

Christianity or the origins of it was born out of a need by Romans of the time to fraudulently use the popularity of a group once despised by the Romans to usurp power in Rome. And that is what happened. What you have today is the result of another attempt made by those referred to as Protestants to usurp power for themselves from the vast power that existed only to those in Rome back in the 1600s 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
I care about my kids but this discussion has nothing to do with them so, let's focus.

2. Service first requires submission which if you reason it carefully makes sense. But in your bid to distance yourself from the lives wore,you hastily ignore this element. If I wish to serve someone, I must submit myself to something in order to accomplish that. Christians believe the husband is the head over a wife -- the one she submits to -- in order to serve him. 🥱🥱

Single women do not have husbands hence they are not supposed to submit to any man. That should ordinarily be the case, however, the same religion instead set their gods of men -- pastors, popes, GOs, etc., -- as heads/gods to whom women should submit to aka serve. Literally, no woman is exempt from having a man over her head in that religion like all other religions out there. (Not much different from traditional ideas where no woman is ever free of the monitoring of men.) 🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Nothing of what I stated hinted at the language of the text being of issue, so I am uncertain why you keep pushing the Greek in my face as though it changes anything.🥱🥱🥱

Go back and reread what I have written to get a clear understanding of what I said and how nothing of what you wrote connects still. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
None of this has anything to do with the topic of marriage and submission under religion. Please focus on those here. Again, as I said, the ideas put forward by pretty much all religions regarding mirage tend to mirror local traditional motions of marriage and submission for women in most every detail. 🤔🤔

Kobojunkie:
None of this has anything to do with the topic of marriage and submission under religion. Please focus on those here. Again, as I said, the ideas put forward by pretty much all religions regarding mirage tend to mirror local traditional motions of marriage and submission for women in most every detail. 🤔🤔

Kobojunkie:
Everyone of your Christian practices and Traditions stands in direct violation of that text. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Everyone of your Christian practices and Traditions stands in direct violation of that text. 🥱🥱🥱

Kobojunkie:
Here's the problem with your claim:

⚈ Marriage in that book is defined as a man leaving his father and his mother behind to join with his woman as one — one signifying the agreement/contract that is marriage. What you poeple practice is instead a situation where a man holds fast to his mother and father, while it is the woman who leaves her father and her mother to join the man's household. Notice how there is no difference between the traditional idea of marriage and the religious notion of what marriage is.

⚈ Submission as written in that book is, in fact, detailed as the curse that was placed specifically on the woman after the fall of man. That curse was never repealed nor replaced for the woman, and it was meant to have the woman subjugated in marriage —she was a slave to his desires in marriage.

2. Paying of bride price has to do with your traditions requiring that of you. Most Nigerian men would rather pay bride price than marry a woman in the courts, though, which offers a marriage built on partnership and not on subjugation. So, the issue isn't the bride price but the mentality that many Nigerian men still hold as far as what they consider the place of the woman(a place beneath them).

3. The practices don't need to change; rather, more men need to choose the more equal arrangement in marriage.

OlaDaviva:
Why Customized Ankara Fabrics Will Always Be in Demand

No matter how advanced civilization becomes, people will always seek ways to express their identity, culture, and individuality. One clear example of this is the enduring demand for customized Ankara fabrics. Despite the rise of global fashion trends, digital lifestyles, and modern textiles, Ankara remains deeply rooted in African society and continues to evolve with time.

A strong instance of this can be seen during traditional ceremonies such as weddings, naming ceremonies, and chieftaincy titles. Even among highly educated and globally exposed individuals, families still choose customized Ankara to represent unity, heritage, and status. Matching fabrics designed specifically for an event (aso-ebi) remain a symbol of belonging, something mass-produced clothing cannot replace.

Another example is in corporate and organizational branding. Churches, associations, political groups, and social clubs consistently commission customized Ankara fabrics to reflect their identity. Regardless of how modern these organizations become, customized Ankara offers a unique blend of professionalism and cultural pride that generic fabrics cannot provide.

In the fashion industry, designers continually reinvent Ankara to suit contemporary tastes—turning it into suits, gowns, jackets, and even casual wear. This shows that rather than disappearing with civilization, Ankara adapts and grows stronger. People want fabrics that tell their personal stories, commemorate milestones, or reflect values, and customization makes this possible.

Even among the African diaspora and younger generations influenced by Western culture, customized Ankara remains popular for cultural festivals, graduations, and special celebrations. This proves that modernization does not erase cultural identity; instead, it often strengthens the desire to preserve and personalize it.

In conclusion, as long as people value identity, culture, and self-expression, customized Ankara fabrics will always remain relevant—regardless of the level of civilization. It is important to note that Ola Daviva is the only company in Nigeria that produces customized Ankara fabrics, making it a unique pioneer in preserving culture through personalized textile production.

Naijalegal:
Destigmatizing Divorce

Destigmatizing divorce is a necessity in this generation. Divorce is not a sign of failure. Marriage is not the ultimate purpose of this life, being married is not the biggest achievement and the purpose of marriage is to enjoy it and not to fight for it. If you find yourself fighting for your marriage just know that the war may never come to an end and even if you will win few battles you may still end up not winning the war. A turbulent home is a war without end where a woman will be forced to walk on egg shells every single day and simply issues that can easily be resolved with maturity turn to a time bomb. Living in a turbulent home feels like living in a war front. The slightest issues gets over blown and misinterpreted and used against the woman. Every effort is made to belittle her and degrade her and strip her of every dignity. In a turbulent home, there is always an obvious effort to make the woman not to enjoy the home. The man is hell bent on not letting her enjoy peace of mind. Abusive partners take everything personal, seeing you triggers them and once you accept it you are simply expected to soak it up and get used to it without complaining and see it as a way of life. What is not easy to understand is why some women choose to stay in an abusive marriage instead of running away.

First, is the Stockholm syndrome. Psychologist have discovered through series of research that when women are abused and they stick with their abusers for too long they tend to become very sympathetic to their abusers. If someone abuses you and you refuse to leave them after a period of time you will develop sympathy for that abusive person, you will tend to overlook their abusive tendencies and start to manage the situation and keep adjusting and squeezing yourself to adapt to the abusive behaviour. The human mind is tricky and it accepts whatever is dished out to for a long period of time. For instance if you keep calling a child stupid or foolish after a while the child wills tart to exhibit stupid or foolish behaviour. Women who refuse to leave abusive marriages gradually develop Stockholm syndrome which makes them love the abusive partner and trauma bond with them deeply. They become a partner in crime in the abusive dynamics. It becomes part of their love language. They start to expect it and start to see it as part of marriage. You will hear them say something like no man is perfect or that it is better to cry in benz than to cry in keke. They will come up with so much excuses to defend the abuser. They may even start to believe that the abuser loves them so much that he loose control and starts to hurt them. They simply brainwash themselves to continue with the abusive relationship and cope with them. Stockholm syndrome is simply a coping mechanism borne out of mental manipulation. As a woman you must be able to identify Stockholm syndrome and deal with it before it destroys you. There is no defence or justification for abusive and even if there is it should not be coming from you as the victim. A victim must not defend evil or make it lesser. Once you stop seeing the boundaries between an abusive behaviour and a love behaviour then you are simply suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

Second, the fear of being alone or the fear of walking away from the marriage is what keeps women in abusive marriages. After a while women build their life around a marriage, the society expects them to leave their own parents, jobs, house, surnames, identity and get absorbed into the world of the man. Women sacrifice a lot in marriage, they are forced to sacrifice their friends, relatives, families, siblings, career, health, cities they grew up, their womb, their heart, their business, their career, their social support system and a lot of basic survival mechanisms in the hope that their husband will be able to protect and provide for them but sadly many husbands do not understand the difference between being a husband and being a girlfriend. They demand submission without responsibility, they refuse to face the reality of their office as a husband. They misunderstand the loyalty and submission of their wife and take it for granted. Submission and loyalty of a woman is a heavy sacrifice that must be compensated with huge responsibility and management to ensure that things work out well. A woman who submits to an irresponsible man is like someone throwing gold jewelry to a pig. It is a complete waste of time, emotion, life and resources. It is a very dangerous move that has led to the death of many women. The purpose of submission is protection and provision. It is against human nature to submit to what will kill you. The only difference between a tree and a human being is that a human being will run away when he sees something that can kill her while a tree cannot run away from whatever is coming to kill it. This is a natural sensation that is even present in animals and more developed in human beings. It is a natural reaction. Women who get killed in abusive relationship have been converted from human beings to trees.

The goal of abusive men is to convert their victims from human beings to something less than a human being. The whole essence of abuse is to degrade and reduce the potential of the woman. There is nothing that a woman will do that will justify abuse because abusive men have a deep problem inside themselves. Abuse comes from deep inside the oppressor and not from the victim. Do not let any man to convince you that they abuse you because of how you trigger them. They abuse you because of their own internal issues with themselves. Nobody goes around abusing everyone they see on the road, abusive people simply seek for the perfect victim and when you find yourself in an abusive relationship you should remind yourself that you have made a mistake and fallen into the trap of an abusive person who sees you as a perfect victim.

Another reason that makes women to stay in abusive relationship is that they get suckered in by the abusive dynamics. Abusive men are not ignorant of their evil behaviour. They simply hone their abusive skills and trap their victims with an emotional roller coaster of up and down emotional triggers. The brain works with some chemicals called dopamine and it is easy to manipulate and get people to become addicted to it. Nobody gets addicted to cocaine or weed or cigarrete they simply get addicted to the chemical reaction that it triggers. Abuse partners are experts at triggering intense dopamine reaction in the brains of their victims. Most abusive partners follow up their abusive actions with some charming and loving actions to encapsulate their victim inside a confusing situation. With an abusive person you will always feel confused and not know what next to expect and naturally the brain finds this to be very exciting. The brain hates calm situations and always loves up and down peaks in mood. That is why great movie producers always add suspense in their movies. Research has shown that humans do not like what always stays at one point. Abusive partners are experts at making the woman's mood to go up and down in an extreme pattern. One second an abusive partner is very very sweet and the next second they are so mean that you as a victim will not mind sticking with them until they become sweet again. This is going to be like a heroine addict, always waiting for the next high. Even though human beings are rational, nobody sits down with a calculator to calculate the rationality of their behaviour.

The best way to escape from abusive behaviour is to break the patterns and this can only be done by identifying abusive behaviour. Once you can identify abusive behaviour then your next job is to set clear boundaries and be firm about it. If you cannot take a firm stand against abusive behaviour then you should get ready to continue to suffer from it. Another thing you should do is to seek outside help. You must build a strong social support system and refuse being isolated by your abuser. Most abusers try to isolate their victims so that the abuse will not be detected. But once you build a strong social support system it will be very easy to find help. With a strong social support system you will become less vulnerable to abuse and will be able to take a firmer stand against any abuse. Abusive marriages and relationship does not know education, wealth, age, location or any status and it is something that can happen to anyone. We have seen it happen to professors, rich women, and even women living abroad. You must find help and support if you are in an abusive relationship. There is nothing to hide about it and you must be strong and firm and see it as a battle for your survival.

Naijalegal:
“SUBMISSION” IN MARRIAGE IS NOT SLAVERY — AND NIGERIAN MEN NEED TO HEAR THIS

Let’s settle this once and for all.

Biblical submission is NOT military command submission style.
It is NOT dictatorship.
It is NOT “I am the man, shut up.”

Marriage was never designed as a superior vs inferior relationship.
The Bible calls marriage an EQUAL YOKE — two people becoming ONE.

So how did “submission” suddenly turn into subjugation of women in this generation?

Submission in marriage simply exists to reduce friction, align vision, and streamline authority, not to silence a woman or erase her intelligence.

“Two cannot walk together except they agree.”
Agreement requires voices, not silence.

A submissive wife is not voiceless.
A submissive wife is heard, considered, and integrated into decisions.

Even in traditional African homes, wives were never slaves.
The man was the mouth, but the woman was the tongue inside — invisible to outsiders but absolutely indispensable.

Major decisions?
✔️ Wife consulted
✔️ Wife informed
✔️ Wife respected

So how did modern men become more extreme than our forefathers?

Let me break it down

Submission is like aerodynamics
A plane must be shaped a certain way to fly.
Design it like a car and it will crash.

Submission is the wing of marriage —
but NO PLANE FLIES WITH ONE WING.

Submission must be mutual.
Respect must be equal.

When submission is mutual, marriage flies.
When submission becomes subjugation, marriage crashes.

A man who confuses submission with oppression is like someone trying to mix oil and water.
They will never become one.

When you subjugate your wife:
❌ You kill her potential
❌ You reduce her capacity
❌ You waste her intelligence

A wife is the neck — and the head cannot turn without it.

Refusing to consult your wife is like owning two brains and using only one.
That is not leadership. That is self-sabotage.

Your wife should be your deputy, not your domestic staff.
She should be able to stand in your absence and move the vision forward.

Submission is AGAPE submission — deep, mutual, equal, intentional.

Submission exists to unify purpose, not to dominate women.

If submission silences her, weakens her, or makes her invisible —
That is not biblical
That is not African
That is not marriage

Let the arguments begin

Do you believe submission means silence?
Can a marriage survive without mutual respect?
Nigerian men: are we leading or controlling?


Type “MARRIAGE PRINCIPLES” in the comments to receive a link to my private WhatsApp community for regular teachings and our monthly marriage webinar.

Send me a DM to book a private, confidential marriage consultation.

—
C.H. Ogudu Esq.
Lawyer, Pastor, Women Rights Advocate and Relationship Coach

Naijalegal:
🚨🚨 MEN, LISTEN WELL O! 🚨🚨

If you knack woman belle and abandon am — you don enter wahala be that! 😤

According to Section 279 of the Lagos State Criminal Law (2015), it is now a crime for any man to dump a woman after getting her pregnant.

You hear am? CRIME! ⚖️

If you no fit use protection, be ready to face the music. 🎶

The law talk say:
👉 You must contribute to all antenatal and postnatal expenses — hospital bills, food, house, everything — during pregnancy and after she don born.
👉 Even if una no marry, you must take full responsibility.

If you refuse to support her, police fit arrest you, carry you go court, and you fit end up for jail! 🚔

And if another person help the woman with money while you disappear like smoke, that person fit drag you go court to collect every kobo wey dem spend.

So my sisters, shine your eyes 👁️
If any man dump you after belle, gather your receipts — hospital bills, baby food, rent, everything.
Go court, and make sure he pays every single naira! 💰

Men, this one no be play o.
No condom, no excuse!
Lagos State no dey joke again! ⚖️🔥

Naijalegal:
Your landlord has no right to just wake up and increase your rent without your agreement. Tenancy is a contract, not a dictatorship. Every term — including rent — must be agreed on by both landlord and tenant. When your landlord sends you a “notice of rent increase,” it’s not a command. It’s simply an offer, and you have every right to negotiate or even reject it.

Nigeria no be place wey person no fit price market — and rent is no different. You can send your landlord a counter-offer, and he has a duty to negotiate in good faith. He cannot cut your light, water, or threaten eviction just because you asked for negotiation. That’s harassment and illegal under the law. Lagos Tenancy Law and other tenancy laws protect you from such “bully landlords.”

If your landlord insists on forcing you out or refuses to negotiate, you can go to court and ask the judge to declare the rent increase unreasonable. The court can even order a lower, fair amount. A 50% or 100% rent hike? The court will likely cancel it. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground — the law is on your side.

BigDickProblems:
😂
🤡

Sccarrr:
Chukwudi, I am waiting for you to lie again on this forum....btw, why are u guys like this ....it's really a terrible act, pretending to be someone else cos you are too afraid to do your tribal attack directly.... pretending to be Norwegian 😂 for your Nigerian tribe war, Kai! That's really low......and all the cccancer and other darks stuff u mentioned about u...... It will eventually happen by God grace..amen

Sccarrr:
chuckwudi, no one cares about all those nonsense... explain how you were raised in the UK just few hours ago and now you claimed I made it up when the proof is here for all .😹

Sccarrr:
well even if they use all the drugs for quick ejaculation fix and they don't learn the process of calming down, and not thinking too much about tearing the pussy up, they won't get results...cos too much pressure and excitement means you're even 70% close to ejaculating already.
The word is "calm" down...while u dey give her that doggy or she dey ride on u, let your mind wander off the sex , think about other things that happened earlier, could be serious issues or stupid stuffs, you can even start making up a to-do list in your mind.. .mind u ,Rome wasn't built in a day,if you do the process repeatedly, you will eventually learn to control when to shoot your hot akamu like a bokoharam fighter at least 30- 50% of the time.
Also sex positions matters too, positions like missionary where she can put both hands on your buttocks and drag u to hellfire, or her riding on u aggressively and locking her evil dillated eyes on u will make u blow up like volcano in seconds especially if you yourself don dey over excited already, do styles that will put you in control,so u can control the rhythm.

Sccarrr:
Lol..na court go collect all portable money....if everybody start to dey reason his matter like this,he go learn to keep shut by fire by force...nice one😹

Sccarrr:
dey play... Arsenal women got 52 major trophies, Chelsea women has 18.....also where is their champions league? No be same Barca beat them 8-2?... evn h2h Arsenal women has more wins...den no just dey make noise