₦airaland Forum

temisukanmi:
Dont really know the appropriate topic for this thread... I just wanna share what I observed.
Here on nairaland, we've been seeing guys being put in friend zones by ladies they love and not guys putting ladies in dis zone.. now my question is:
1) Do ladies ever get friend zoned?
2) Ladies have you ever been friend zoned by guys u love?
3) How did it all turn out?
4) Guys have u ever kept any lady in this dreadful zone?
Pls feel free to share ur experiences... ..just trying to clear this thought off my head.

@ topic

To get more appropriate answers you should clarify the question.
Just as guys and girls will see a given issue from different angles , the definition of friend-zoning will be different for both sides .

Better for you or other girls on this thread to give us your/their own definition of what friend-zoning a girl is.

virginboy1:
I am 25,and like any sane male my age, i have a libido that can far too much for me handle at times.And I feel weird atyms whenever my friends and colleagues express their sex tales.
I need someone that I love and am willing to hold onto my virginity until we are married,so that leaves me with the problem of how long will i wait to get married,Am worried that I will have no sexual stamina when it comes and that my partner will look down on me.
Or that I might not last long.
Is there any advice I can get from here or are there guys like me here?

@ virgin boy

Please do not allow yourself to be hassled.
Your betrays a wrong mindset common among guys your age I.e Am i a 'real man'? Can I satisfy a woman? My friends are laughing at me!
Don't allow the tall tales your friends tell to get you down & to be honest if sex is the benchmark for their 'manhood' or achievement in life the you need new friends who can inspire you to be better / achieve more in your life.

As to the idea of satisfying a woman sexually please let me inform you that sex/ making love is a two way partnership.
It takes two to make it work/sweet and it also takes two to make it fail/bitter.

If you and a partner are about to get down and the only thing she does is lie down on her back like a log of wood and rattle off all the things she expects you to do in order to 'satisfy' her then believe me .. You are better off not touching her at all.... Such girls are completely self centered and the WORST sexual partners ever....I can't go into deeper details ,this is not the sexuality room.

V-boy , I no fit shout! Focus on making a life for yourself and let the real women come looking for you

prince3009: Just recently, my boss' secretary slapped me during a slight argument in the office. She was this kind of person who boasted about her past exploits in breaking men's head with bottles and punching them at any slightest provocation. I didn't react as most men would have done. I just walked away not because she was a married woman but because of the respect I have for my boss and the fact that I wanted to make her pay dearly for it. I simply put up a petition against her to the Dept of Establishment who oversees recruitment and staff training and she was almost dismissed! I had to plead with them not to dismiss her as I didn't want to be responsible for her retrenchment and after much entreaties by other colleagues, they brought down her punishment to a query. At least next time before she raises up her hand to slap a man, she would think twice even if it were to be a male child.

My advice to men out there is that when a woman abuses you both physically and verbally, don't resort to violence which is usually the next impulse. Seek help and assistance with the appropriate authorities rather than shy away because of your ego and pone in silence. Domestic abuse and violence against men is real and has adverse effects on a man just as it it for a woman if turned the other way round.

@ Prince

Thanks for this post, you took the high ground in not using physical means to even the score and I applaud you for that.

However, I tell you in all honesty that you practically let her get away with it! Like... Seriously ,a Query?! Just how serious is a query in your office?

How about a formal written apology with a Cc to her boss and possibly his boss?

How about a verbal apology from her to you in which she explicitly states what she has done to you( do not allow her to hint at it) in the presence of all your work mates?

She was facing job loss and rightfully so for her actions before you tempered down for her to get a query. I believe you did this because like most guys you were socialized to 'protect' women...even when she's slapping you upside the head but answer this question in your heart.
If you had not restrained yourself from hitting back and she had written a report against you ( don't even kid yourself that she won't) do you honestly think you would have kept your job?

The essence of my earlier suggestions is twofold
1) You expose her to everyone that matters as an abuser. The veil of innocence is one of the strongest weapons of a female abuser

2) Your actions in not just fighting for yourself but for all men in your office.
By your actions you blaze a trail for them to follow in dealing with such incidents and any other person in the office like her sees that they will pay a heavy price for their actions.

Now that is justice!

egopersonified: Abeg make una school me, when the abused husband speaks out, what happens then?

@ ego

In an ideal world ,the woman would be exposed as an abuser and held accountable for her behavior.

The police would be involved and should the abused husband be so inclined, assault charges would be leveled against her,possibly to serve time in prison .

She would lose access to the kids if they have any and there would likely be a restraining order stopping her from coming anywhere near the abused husband or communicating with him until such order is lifted by the courts at the express request of the husband.

But like I said .... In an ideal world :/

isaiah9: Has anyone played call of duty strike team, how good is the game cos i wanna download it.

Where do you plan on downloading from? I am yet to get a working copy of this game All the ones I have downloaded thus far give me error message 'you may not have purchased this game'.

Aside that my research on the net tells me that this game may require 2 GIG RAM to play, my current handset only has 1 GIG RAM.

Godmystrength: Zero Tolerance to abuse, irrespective of gender.

Duly noted, I framed my post the way I did to encourage men not to accept abuse from women as 'normal'.

Abuse instigated by any gender is wrong to be sure but look around you, when was the last time you saw a topic on abuse which did not cast men as the abuser and women as the perpetual innocent victim?

When was he last time you read an article in the papers on abusive relationships where abusive men are demonised but abusive women are 'swept under the carpet' and treated as a myth?

How many Nollywood and Hollywood movies have touched on the (cliche)issue of abusive men and strangely silent on abusive women?

We men will continue to be on the receiving end of this biased mindset until we are ready to push for a change!

@ topic

So true, it is a silent epidemic and us men are our own worst enemies. The men who seek to confide in other men are shamed into silence by those men who themselves operate on a wrong mentality that such behavior is 'normal' from women and that he is a wimp to complain about it.

Hope the movement gains ground

Zero Tolerance to abusive women!!!

@ topic

The justice system in the UK is so skewed it's laughable!!!

This female peadophile gets 3 years for rape and you can be sure she'll get out after 2 years for 'good behavior'!!!

If the case was that of a father doing same to his underage daughter,can you imagine the shitstorm to follow.
You can also be sure that the courts would lock him up in a deep, dark pit and throw away the key.

God save the Queen

Hello house, naruchigo.com is not uploading english sub on Naruto

Any other site that allows eng sub naruto downloads?

dipset01: ..


So how do you become friends then, cos am in a spot nw, there is this chick i met she is really giving me tough time. Am not asking her out. Just want to be her friend and she if we are compatible. Just trying to know her better but she keeps playing hard to get. She gives me her number and pin however whenever I call or ping her she just says fine fine fine. nothing else, she doesnt talk abt her sef. I do all d talking. I talk for 30 mins or more and she never talks. and when I ask open ended question she just says fine. how can i get her to be free. She only listens to me which makes the convo one sided and uncomfortable.

@ dipset

Guy, you dey fall my hand

The writing is on the wall, this girl is not feeling you. Please pick up what is left of your self respect from the floor, delete her number and PIN from your phone sharply!

This girl dey use you catch cruise and you dey lament here for NL. My guy WISE UP!!!
you still dey do old millennium nice guy wen New millennium guys don adopt the anthem 'No Time To Waste Time'.

Anyway I guess you are still a young chap and you are still thinking with your emotions/hormones rather than cold logic which comes with maturity and time.

Long story short, drop that girl and move on !!!

Any info on the successful bidding rate?

Juell: EPOCH.....very addictive
Modern Combat 4
NOVA 3
Call of Duty Strike Team
Shadow Gun
Edge of tomorrow

Bros, where did you get your. Of duty strike team? Mine keeps giving error message 'you did not purchase this game'.
Reply ASAP !

feelamong: 91 days ------11%

182 days -----12.30%

happy investing!

Please how accurate is this?

My account officer at Ecobank informed me that the successful bid rate is 10.25 %

First posted on this thread ages ago, judging by majority of male posters response I'm so glad that a number of us guys have decided to wise up.

Stay focused on your academics/career, make that paper and all the trappings that come with it and the world will be your oyster.

The truth of the matter is that most of the BS we guys go through in relationships is not because we have to but because WE ALLOW IT !!!

Who decided that men/guys are to be the ones perpetually doing the chasing?
Who decided that a girls time , energy, emotions is worth more than mine as a guy?
Who decided that because the letter of the bible says "He that findeth a wife..." Automatically means that I as a Good Man am not worthy of being 'found' by a discerning woman as well?
P.S
I said 'Woman' not little girls claiming woman.

Albert Einstein said 'The definition of INSANITY is doing the same action, in exactly the same way over and over again and honestly believing you will get a different result !!!'

If we guys want to be taken seriously in relationships, we cannot afford to come to the table with a beggarly mindset and think that we will be treated rightly.
As a guy by all means be respectful to the girl in your life but make it very clear to her from the onset that love,respect, chasing/wooing is a Two way street.
Don't allow any girl to demand from you what she herself can't or won't give back to you!!!

Hello, newbie android user here, got my hands on an LG optimus L3 ii dual (unrooted). Can all the LG android users out there give me a list of HD games that are compatible with this device.

I am also interested to know the hands on gaming experience of those who use the LG optimus L7 ii dual.How well does it handle HD games? What is the battery life like?

NEROSKY: Just have to review this because been in Nairaland involves info sharing, and you don't have to waste money for smartphone while cheap once are storming the Nigeria market with even better features..Is a welcome development entering the market with 2nd latest android O.S which is ICS v4.0.4 (Ice Cream Sandwich.....
I initially went for sony xperia u & their marketer approached (@computer village) with the product which cost #18,000
& Sony Xperia U cost #31,000 with smaller screen,i have to go for BEphone.Mean while, i have saved 11k plus ....Anyway, am comparing this with N7 but bephone is more affordable... Official web www.bephone.com

One year waranty included

KEY SPECIFICATIONS
GENERAL= 2G Network GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900
3G Network= HSDPA 850 / 900 / 1900 / 2100
SIM= Dual sim

CAMERA= Primary 5 MP front & back camera with led flash

OS=v4.0 (Ice Cream Sandwich), planned upgrade to v4.1 (Jelly Bean)

BATTERY= 7 hours of call time and 7 days of standby use... This is another area i respect this product... Played music & games for hours @ 15%

PROCCESOR= 1Ghz

SCREEN=4'touch screen

MEMORY= ROM 4GB ,3GB internal memory , memory slot , upto 32GB

Contents;
Smartphone,battery,charger,data cable,hands-free,user guide,waranty card

pix taken with tecno n3

@ nerosky

Saw this phone @ slot , pls give us more info' on it's capabilities , is google playstore available? How well does it handle games, how strong is the battery?

Waiting for ur feedback!

HOLLASLYD: firstly, the LG is no match for q1
q1 runs on android 4.0.4 LG runs on android 2.3.6
q1 = 1ghz dual core LG = 800 mhz
q1 = 512 ram LG = 384 ram

these are the key features. the q1 is a perfrmance device put not suitable for adventure games or football and shooting games though it handles thm smoothly but the screen is just too small for that. racing games are very much playable cus they use accelerometers to drive then one hand to brake, use nitrous and drift.
i will advice you buy n3 gaming confort. or rather make up ya budget to 25k and belt infinx bolt with 4.5 inch also has the same hardware specs with tecno q1. high performance that is.

@ hollaslyd

I'm actually considering the LG optimus L3 ver 2

http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.gsmarena.com/lg_optimus_l3_ii_e430-5292.php&sa=U&ei=ZQZ0Ua3JOo6rOpDxgEA&ved=0CBkQFjAA&usg=AFQjCNEIpZPih2h-8iDFaga8ZazTgbltjg

What of my question concerning the MIDP emulator allowing the LG phones to play Java games?

@ LEGEND7466
Bros, the N7 is above my budget (20k max)

HOLLASLYD: Flexing my new tecno q1
Rooted in 2 mins
Flexing only need for speed most wanted and asphalt 7. No more games on it.
I have bigger screen for gaming jor

@ hollaslyd

Saw this phone at Slot the other day ,was impressed with the visual quality but am wondering how you would play games like Asphalt properly as there is no virtual pad,buttons. Screen size may also be an issue.
Am thinking of switching to android but I av a budget of 15k-20k at most.
After my looking around the market I'm stuck between the LG optimus L3 ii and the Tecno Q1. Selling points for me are good internet connectivity and access to HD android games without rooting if possible.
The LG phones are said to come with MIDP emulator so does that mean I can play my Java games on it too?
What are your thoughts on this my case?

Babymumsy: Hello all...I'm a newly married woman in need of advice.I got married in January and evrything has been okay between me and hubby,looking forward to making wonderful babies BUT I jst reached a conclusion just yesterday ; we spend more time praying and fasting than actually making love and babies.What do you do in this kinda situation? I'm a God fearing person but in fear of bin called another "thing" when I demand for sex during our fasting session!pls help!

@ babymumsy

After reading your post I can't help but wonder, what is your true motivation?
From your post it shows that you are interested in sex not making love as you claimed ( yes, there is a difference between the two)with your hubby with the sole aim of getting pregnant and becoming a mother.This by itself
Is not bad/wrong as long as your hubby is on the same page with you but when done with a self centered spirit it is tantamount to you just using your hubbys body to get what you want ( a baby) regardless of his feelings.
Call me crazy but knowing that my wife just sees me as a means to an end does not inspire me to desire her more , if anything I will be turned off . If all you want is sex then you could just as easily have sex with any guy you meet on the street and still achieve your goal (a baby)

Now if you were really concerned about making love to your hubby as you claimed your mindset would be along these lines

"By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth, I sought him and found him not.
I will rise now and I will seek him whom my soul loveth"
Song of songs 3: 1 - 2

"Awake O north wind ,blow upon my garden that the spices thereof may flow out.Let my beloved come into his garden and eat his (fill of) pleasant fruits"
Song of songs 4:16

Did you catch the revelation? A wife concerned with making love with her hubby is only thinking of how to express her love and longing for him, to give of herself to him because she takes pleasure in giving him pleasure not for what she will get in the bargain .

So Babymumsy, I ask you again, What is your motivation?

@ orpelin

What exactly is your challenge with the nigerian insurance sector? I'm curious to know

@ op

The options that any one person will choose will vary depending on what the goals of the individual is as well as their financial discipline.

gabinogem: I hope they will do thesame to the lady. What is good 4 d goose is also good 4 d gander

@ gabinogem
Bros , you and I know that if annie was the one asked to touch her bosoms and VJ area to confirm if she get am or not then further queried as to if she will be able to use same to satisfy Mr 2face sexually ,this thread would have been full of very angry female posters.

But since a guy is the one on the receiving end ,every body seems to think they can have a laugh at his expense ! SMH

lastpage: Okay, lets be HONEST WITH OURSELVES and look deep into this matter:

Women of TODAY dont seems to either:
1.) Know what they want ..or...
2.) Too selfish or self-centered, to bother about "HOW" to get what they actually want.

Curiously, experience has shown us that "Freedom is NOT GIVEN, it is worked hard for, fought for, sacrificed for and TAKEN BY FORCE, if necessary".

Same applies to our Women of TODAY, who want MEN of TODAY to do to them, what "Our Fathers did to our Mothers" (like chasing them around ) in those good old days:

QUESTION IS: Can you WOMEN OF TODAY, do the things, accept the things and behave like our Mothers did to their Husbands, back then?


Be HONEST with yourselves, hands crossed over your heart (and you may hope to die or grow a long nose like Pinnochio, if you dare lie! ) and tell yourself, the answer.

Let me break it down a lil-bit:
*Everything in Life follows certain "Universal Laws",....like the "Law of reciprocity.....being Give and take", Like the Universal Law of Physics, "Action and Reaction .....being Equal and opposite" (Isaac Newton),
Like the Universal "the Golden Rule ......being Do unto others as you would expect to be done unto", ...and so on.

Women of TODAY will look down on our Mothers as "Stewpid, uneducated, uncivilized, too weak, unsophisticated, unexposed, Docile, Take too much poo from their husbands, too compromising, e.t.c"

*But in all the above, Women of TODAY forget that "YOU CANT EAT YOUR CAKE AND STILL HAVE IT"!

Our Mothers enjoyed all those things you now crave for, because of "HOW and WHO They are"!
You are either "like them" .....and ENJOY THOSE THINGS (like being chased endlessly and being dotted over) or YOU ARE NOT. ...Its so K-I-S-S (Keep It stewpidly Simple!)

On a closer look, a discerning person will decipher that "our Mothers are not "Stewpid" at all, they just KNOW WHAT TO DO, TO GET WHAT THEY WANT AND RIGHTLY DESERVE! ......That is what l call SMARTNESS!

TODAYS WOMEN who think they are smart, are actually the reverse after-all, the RESULT is there for all to see --- , lack of Love, uninteresting courtship, boring marriage, Family breakdowns, Divorce and failed child rearing!

So, it is not about men not chasing women (as our fathers did in those days, it is in our DNA to chase women, treat women like a Queen and splash out on them) BUT....

BUT.... Women have changed (and dont deny these please!) ....Men are just responding to those changes, like all "Natural and Universal Laws" demand!
There are still a few women out there who have "mastered the secret of a successful Love/Marital Life" and are using it to their advantage!.

Of-course, the so-called "smart, modern woman" will condemn and criticize them like they did (to) our Mothers!

No one, no matter how smart they think they are, can "Eat their cake and still have it !

Any woman of TODAY that desires to be "chased and treated like our Mothers of those days", should look inwards, study how and what our Mothers did in their relationship, how they related with their men, how they "view and appreciated their men".......THEN YOU HAVE FOUND THE SOLUTION

@ Last page

Bros , chop knuckle *fist bump*

Too many 'ladies' are trying to be clever by half these days. The OP herself talks about men risking it all for a woman as it was in the days of old ( she even references cartoon classics like Snow White & Rapunzel to 'Buttress' her point LOL) and then in the next breath she admits that she has been stringing two separate guys along for the last 2 years !!!
Let's just think about that for a minute.
Two guys , following the script that the OP is trying to sell to guys as the ideal way to behave.
Two guys giving it their all, giving their time, their energy ,their emotions and of course their money(after all 'Real men' pay for dates,right?)
And what is the OP doing ?
Q)Is she really putting up an effort?
A)Hell No! She's sitting pretty watching you guys 'risk it all' to win her approval

Q)Is she investing her time to be with you?
A)The only time she remembers you even exist is when she sees your missed calls on her phone or when her gateman tells her one young chap asking to see her and she quickly juggles her memory to remember your name and face.

Q)Is she doing ANYTHING to show you that she is actually worth all the BS she is putting you through?
A)Uh... Nope! She's too busy thinking about how next she can 'test' you to see if you are worthy of her approval.

Q) If the tables were turned and you are the guy that has everything she says she wants... Good looks,Good money ,Flashy car etc will she have the courage to step to you and ask you out? If you decide to 'test' her, will she be willing to 'risk it all' to be with you?
A) Your guess is as good as mine.

Remember the two guys that the OP is stringing along? Do you honestly believe that either one of them has asked themselves the fundamental questions i listed above? I really don't think so!

But hey, you know what? This is just my opinion ok! Any guy out there who agrees with the OP's line of thinking and feels that they don't mind being the guy in the scenario I described above then hey! Good for you!
But any other guys who know in their hearts that this scenario is not their cup of tea , then let us guys learn how to LOVE SMART with girls rather than CHASING HARD for girls .

drnoel: Look guy, u say it like its the lady's fault. Pls tell me what game they need to step up, look marriage is no trophy to be won but rather a union of two like minds for better for worse in sickness and health. Marriage can be sweet and can also be bitter. Look if a man is not matured enough to make that step, to commit himself into something he believes in, then how does he expect his married hummies or his family to take him serious.
If u had rather spoken about what the women brings to the table in her married home then I would understand cos in this time and age everyone brings 50:50 so that they can be united in matrimony.

@ Drnoel

My post was in direct response to the mind set displayed in Coogar's post I.e 'whatever is wrong with the dating scene in naija is all men's fault' .
I do not believe that any one gender is responsible for the way things are today. Both Genders have a hand in the wahala and both Geners will have to tallk to themselves honestly in order to make it better.

You casually indict men who are not quick too marry as being 'immature' but you are silent on ladies who play the field with multiple Guys, stringing each of them along . Hmmm..... Double Standards much?

In summary let there be no hypocrisy in our dealings with each other.

'With the measure by which ye judge others , ye yourselves shall also be judged.' - Matthew 7:2

coogar: you have to complete "other duties" as well.....you can't just be a good guy and think a woman would get high on your goodness. some of the rich boys taking the girls from you are good too, if not better! one thing you must understand is there's a competition out there, a very fierce one if i may add. treat a girl right, make her laugh and she is all yours(by default)!


you need to step your game - maybe you were "too good" for her.....you can't be "too good" or "too soft"....too much of everything is bad and most chics dont like men that are sissies. strike a balance between being good and being firm!

@ coogar

All good and well. In line with ur comment can it not also be argued that the ladies also do not meet up with 'other duties' expected of them and as such they too do not make the cut?
Ladies with fine face , fine body , flashy clothes etc full ground for naija, what else are they bringing to the table? Just as you advised guys, ladies should also realize that competition is stiff and as such they need to raise their game or miss out

nybol: Kombats, pls can u send me download link for ngage 2.0 games. I hacked my nokia e63 so i can play ngage games on it but i need games like rayman 3, splinter cell, asphalt 5 , ghost recon etc. I have bounce, the one, metal gear, resident evil,

@ nybol
Bros i need Metal Gear solid Mobile and Resident evil for my Nokia C5-00 240X320 resolution sisx. The ones i av found so far don't work on my C5, please hook me up !