₦airaland Forum

RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

[quote author=Omo_Tier1]You do not transform on the pages of newspapers okay. In life your achievements speak for you and not your mouth [/quote]The COAS has kept a low media profile and even people in the army can confirm that the man is doing a great job.so wat is ur point exactly

I think this article goes a long way to show that Gen. Ihejirika'transformation of the army is laudable.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/02/jaji-attack-maj-gen-isah-had-prior-information-ihejirika/

…Says promotion, recruitment, deployment devoid of ethnic, religious colouration…
ABUJA—Chief of Army Staff, Lt. General Azubuike Ihejirika gave a shocking revelation Monday on the bomb attack at Jaji Cantonment last year which killed an Army General and several others when he disclosed that the then Commander, Infantry Corps and Centre, Jaji, General Mohammed Isa had security report 24 hours earlier of the plot to bomb Jaji but he chose to ignore the warning.

The army boss gave startling information at a briefing at the army headquarters. His words, “our Intelligence and Military Police departments had gotten information of a plan by terrorists to attack the Jaji Cantonment and the intelligence was immediately relayed to General Isa. The same report that Gen. Isa got was received by the GOC 1 Division on the day before the attack.

“The GOC had to immediately cancel his trip and returned to base. Isa did not act on the report. Isa did not give instruction to his subordinate. I was surprised when I saw Isa at the annual COAS Conference and I asked him, what he was doing in Asaba when his house was on fire”.

The Army Chief disclosed that as a result of the in-action of General Isa then, the Nigerian Army lost a General in the bomb blast apart from those who were killed in the military protestant church.

Vanguard had also reported that an Air Commodore of the AirForce, who was the Chief Instructor of the Air Force Wing at AFCSC, was also killed in the blast.

Lt. Gen. Ihejirika disclosed that the detailed investigations have commenced to determine whether Maj. Gen Isah’s inaction was due to negligence or a demonstration of further involvement in the bombings in which several officers and others were killed.

Meanwhile, the Army  Chief declared that the recent retirements, promotions, recruitment and deployments in the army were done devoid of ethnic and religious colouration, pointing out that the Army does not discriminate against any person on the basis of ethno-religious background.

He explained that the delay in the retirement of many officers in the last exercise who were due for retirement, months before last December 2012, was caused by the inability of the Army Council to sit over recommendations of the Board on promotions and retirements.

According to General Ihejirika, the Army Council comprising, Mr. President as Chairman, minister of Defence, Permanent Secretary, Chief of Defence Staff and Chief of Army Staff, has to approve the retirement of any officer of the army before such officer can be asked to go.


Lt General O. A Ihejirika, Chief of Army Staff, Nigerian Army speak to press
His words, “The type of allegations making the rounds (allegation of lopsided recruitment, promotion, retirement and deployment in the Nigerian Army), are not unfamiliar to the Nigerian Army”.

“Every nation has its frontlines and I can say it is these frontlines that are being exploited by faceless groups to cause more problems for Nigerians. I believe they (groups) would have identified that the Nigerian army is one of the few institutions that will stand in defence of this country; come rain, and come sunshine.

“Why do I say this? When we commenced operations in Maiduguri against the Boko Haram terrorist’s sect, text messages were sent round, to the fact that the Chief of Army Staff (Ihejirika) has deployed a General of ‘Igbo’ extraction to avenge the killing of Igbo’s during the civil war. But it is on record that the Boko Haram sect claimed that they were fighting to avenge the death of their leader and other members killed in various encounters”.

“From the operations that are taking place, are people being killed as alleged? Even though the operation being conducted is coordinated by leadership of the Defence Headquarters, but it is being interpreted wrongly to whip up sentiments by making reference to the civil war fought and resolved many years ago. In fact, before some of them were born”.

“They choose to orchestrate the promotion and appointment of some Igbo officers, but they did not bother to talk of appointment generally. I believe that most of you here have come to find out whether the army is still intact or whether there is turmoil in the army as alleged by the faceless groups. You have seen the hierarchy of the army and you can speak for yourself that the army is intact. I believe that while the officers were being introduced, the crème de la crème of the army, what I call the chief executives of the Nigerian army, I believe some of you were taking notes, on the number of Igbo officers”.

“Some of my officers have told me on a lighter note that they would start answering Igbo names soon, so that they become properly Igbonized as alleged. I had a lot of experience before becoming the Chief of Army Staff. I happened to have served in the Military Secretary department. The department that handles promotions, postings and retirements. One of the things we sought to achieve while in that department was to ensure that promotions in the army are made very objective and they are merit based”.

He also dismissed allegations of sending officers from South-East to the North-North on the current operations to stem the Boko Haram insurgency, as according to him, there was no iota of truth in the rumours.

“Each time there was crisis in any part of the country, we know the consequences of such crisis. Before you know it, rumours will be awash that people of certain extraction and religion have been killed and killing will start at the other end. These are issues we must overcome.  The Nigerian army has come a long way. So when I said my vision for the Nigerian army is to turn the Nigerian Army into a force better able to meet contemporary challenges; I also took the Nigerian frontlines into consideration. I want to assure you that the Nigerian army of today is not the type that dragged the nation into war in the 1960’s?

“You might wish to know that in my deployments, I have General Gani Wahab in 1 division, Kaduna, I have Brigadier General M. Ibrahim in 1 Brigade and Brigadier General Iliya Abbah in 2 Brigade. And I seat here, very comfortable with that posting. Concerning General Olayinka Oshinowo (former GOC 92 div, Enugu), who happened to have been mentioned in one write up as one of those short changed, it might interest the public to know that General Oshinowo had missed his promotion before I became the Chief of Army staff and that he was promoted to the rank of Major General under my watch”.

Earlier, Director of Army Public Relations, Brigadier General Attahiru read a statement dealing wholly responding to the allegations saying, ‘The attention of the Nigerian army has been dawn to spurious misleading and faceless publications in some national dailies on a baseless allegation of lopsided recruitment, promotion, retirement and deployment of some senior officers of the Nigerian army’.

“It is however surprising that some few media chose to celebrate this calculated attempt of some frivolous, unpatriotic and unscrupulous elements aimed at insinuating that the recruitment, promotion, retirement and recent deployment of senior officers in the Nigerian army were ethnically motivated. For the avoidance of doubt, there is no ethnic or religious consideration in this routine exercises in the Nigerian Army’.

“The motive of the writers appear to be to destabilize the Nigerian army and negatively affect its cohesion thereby, creating chaos in the country. it is a great disservice to the nation for anyone to choose through deliberate falsehood to link the routine activities of promotions and postings of the Nigerian army with ethno-religious consideration. This faceless groups if they had no ulterior motives would have sought to air there grievances through official channels of communications which are available for redress by any genuinely aggrieved person(s) over any policy or actions of the Nigerian Army”.

“The Nigerian army continues to provide aid to civil authority in its counter terrorism effort. We all agree that the Nigerian army has made remarkable achievements with the support of other security agencies in combating terrorist’s activities which is evident in its nationwide deployment of troops. The activities of violent extremist organizations have been seriously curtailed”.

“For instance, on the 6th February 2013, the Nigerian Army conducted a raid at the hideout of suspected terrorists in the Dorayi Quarters in Kano state leading to the arrest of the alleged mastermind behind the attack on the convoy of the emir of Kano . There are likelihood that violent extremist organizations will be intent at using all sorts of subterfuge to counter the coherent and focused fight by the Nigerian army and other security agencies in the fight against terrorism”.

“It is on record that the number of Major Generals promoted since the coming of the present leadership increased from 2008 to date in line with Nigerian army order of battle. This was a view to not only enhancing our force structure, fighting efficiency and cohesion but also to boast the morale of personnel. While 8 and 12 Brigadier Generals were promoted in 2008 and 2009 respectively, 26 were promoted in 2010, 25 in 2011 and 22 in 2012’”.

“So the Nigerian army does not discriminate against any person or group of persons notwithstanding their ethnic callings. We focus on merit and that is the guiding principle. Make no mistake about it. There are very fine officers from each geo-political zones of the federation. For the records, in the last army promotions and posting, there is no zone that was not represented by well qualified senior officers”.
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/02/jaji-attack-maj-gen-isah-had-prior-information-ihejirika/

i just know dat with or witout all the maths you people do here,PDP will also win the presidential election. those people have perfected the art of winning nigerian elections to the extent that its only an outright revolution that would wrestle power from them.
but what i know is that APC is no better than PDP.we should just ensure that the right people get there whether in PDP or not.
As a progressive nigerian who wants to better his country,im joining the PDP actively come 2014.

To be honest,I still think PDP will win though not with a landslide victory as before, come 2015.I'm not a PDP member but that is the hard truth.

[quote author=gree-die]smh[/quote]No gree am fall of

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating 4
over a year and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me...It
was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective 21 year old sister-in-law, always
wore very tight miniskirts,and often times was bra- less. She would regularly bend downwhen she
was near me,and I always got more than a nice
view.
One day her little sis called and asked me to come
over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived,and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she
couldn't overcome.
She told me that she wanted me just once b4 I get
married and commit my life to her sister. Well, I was
in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said,
I'm going upstairs to my room, and if u want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched
her go upstairs. I stood there for a moment, then
turned and headed straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards
my car. Look and behold, my future family werestanding outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me
and said "We are very happy that you have passed
our little test, We couldn't ask for a better manfor
our daughter Welcome to the family"!
I smiled and heaved a sigh of relief cos .. I was actually heading to the car to get my
condoms ...
NA GOD SAVE ME....happy new month, Enjoy the rest of †ђξ 9t/wkend.& don't
let my father-in-law hear this

dabigwalls: STILL WONDERING WHAT VALUE ALCOHOL HAS IN THIS LIFE!

On the point No 9,it says excess. But I know dat a little alcohol helps dissolve formed calcium urates that may cause kidney stone.though excess may lead to formation of uric acid which in turn precipitates calcium forming the urates.....that is why in life a times,too much of everything is bad.

FXKing2012: Looks like you know these male chauvinists from somewhere, they must have built a reputation for themselves.

I pity any woman who marries these two cos they gonna use her and send her packing empty handed. I pray no female family member of mine comes in contact with these heartless souls.

Mr. Man,if you have nothing to say dan disrespect people representing my opinion,go n dive into d nearest lagoon................instead of making logical points,U̶̲̥̅̊ are spittin rubbish mtchewwn...haven't you heard of this legal clause 'semper necessitas probandi incumbit ei qui agit'

I may agree to child support but divorce settlement is a no no no,abi marriage na civil service where person dey pay gratuity and pension?
And don't give me the poo of she helped you build your wealth and all that? The man force am ni abi dem dey force person marry husband ni?
If your lazy ass don't wanna get up and get a job,continue waitin for divorce settlement but not in naija......

Family tree

So much death dis month...yakowa,azazi, n now chime....and nobody knows the faith of suntai....
Dis is really a period of sober reflections....

RIP to the departed and may God have mercy on your souls...

AjanleKoko: Erm . . . the largest private reserve of gold in the world, about 60,350 metric tonnes, is owned by the Roman Catholic church.
Some charity, eh?

Mr man,why must you settle for cheap lies without verification.God have mercy on you.wikipedia says you have lied hopelessly
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_reserve

Classicalman: So assuming they get their wish and the 72 virgins demand for sex at the same time? Can they satisfy them? Bunch of dumb a.s.s NEGROES.

Wat beats me is the fact that some people have this mentality in the 21st century.imagine,72virgins..SMH

http://www.nigerianeye.com/2012/12/we-were-promised-72-virgins-in-paradise.html?m=1

An Army Officer told the Federal High Court in Abuja on Wednesday that four suspects of the Suleja bombing were promised 72 virgins each as incentives.




The officer, whose name was not given for security reasons, was testifying in the case filed by the State Security Service against the six accused Suleja/Madalla bomb attack.

He said in his evidence-in-chief that the information was contained in a cell-phone confiscated from the suspects at the point of their arrest in Gumel Junction, Kachia in Kaduna State.


The witness explained that a total of four mobile phones were ceased from the suspects. According to him, one of the mobile phones carried the promise of incentives and the secret code to arrange and detonate an explosive.

The suspects are: Salisu Ahmed, Umar Babagana-Umar, Mohammed Ali and Musa Adam. They were arrested on July 28, 2011 in Kachia, on their way to Kaduna where the Vice President, Namadi Sambo, and other dignitaries were to attend a sporting function on July 29 at the township stadium.
It will be recalled that Umar Ibrahim and Shuaibu Abubakar, were also standing trial for alleged multiple bombings and killings in Suleja and Madalla both in Niger.

NAN reports that the witness reads the first message as thus:

“Do a deed which Allah by his grace and mercy saves you from the punishment of the grave and a dangerous bridge with a speed of light.

“Save you from the greatest fear. Allow you save from hell fire. 70 members of your family shall marry you 72 virgins in paradise, gives you a crown of respect, which even the prophet will be impressed with.

“Keep your soul in the green birds of paradise and your wish to return to the World and die as he died because of the good blessings and reward you encounter after such noble last deed. I pray for you to do such a noble deed,’’ the message stated.

Mr Emeka Okoro, the counsel to the accused persons, however, applied for a short adjournment to enable him to access the officer’s statement which was not before the court.

Justice Bilkisu Aliyu then adjourned cross examination of the witness to Dec 6. Aliyu ordered the State Security Service to avail the counsel to the accused persons with the army officer’s statement.

(NAN)

please is the army now in charge of arresting criminals in nigeria? just asking

Venchy: Can I ask one question.....Is there no more prison sentence other than FIRING SQUAD ?

I must stress that this is an outdated law and it shows what fucking RULE OF LAW WE HAVE and how it favours THE BIG FAT CAT that steals Nigerians money.

There's one rule for the rouge politicians and another for ordinary people...or have you forgotten about BANKOLE ,IBB ,ABACHA's family etc, those are the people that deserve firing squad not the hungry ones that have been deprived and no job.

Even in the US,the death penalty is not extinct just modified. I hate armed robbers

Nigerians mEhn Robbery is a capital offence. Someone who comes to your house with a gun has the mind of killing you.and the last time I checked,attempted murder is equivalent to murder. Being a victim of armed robbers,gawd dat sentence is lenient.people must learn not to encourage brutal crimes in the name of human rights cos an armed robber will not read you your rights before pulling the trigger.smh

Ranoscky: WOW! Am seeing things...

Abeg pass me ur lighter

Vegetable soup: They should have flogging him too so that his mates would began to learned lessons

U went to school at all.

(Quote) (Report) (Like)

locust01: U went to school at all.

pot calling kettle black

lekzy01: Shut up,,we are talking about recognision,,u are talking another thing,,azumah nelson, DK Poison, Bukom Banku?,,,who recognise this folks, I don't have even hear those names before.. I hope my samuel peter have a good recognision than those folks despites of his losing to kitchkose

bros,y waste ur bandwidth?
u get time dey reply these jobless people

flexshop: Viewing this topic: MAYORIN1(m), puskin, fijiano202, innocent82, PetroDolla, dam_007, amy2882, Cyberfreak(f), r231(m), wissezy(m), lekzy01(m), bayo22, nyameke, SmoothCrim, sadeiyare, gidson12(m), odizzy and 35 guest(s)


ghana? is it near fiji or sao tome and principe?