₦airaland Forum

Moredew: so its gud for a lady to be in her fathers's house nd feed fat.
Ok o

Yes! Afterall, a lot still go and come back.
Besides, she will have other suitors

All I see is a family that seriously needs our prayers.

Btw, people around them should stop taking sides. They will be making reconciliation more difficult.

ihedinobi2: Actually I did not judge you at all. I made a conditional statement, you know, "if...then..." That kind of statement.

As for self-sufficiency, think about this: what would you do if some years into your marriage to a wildly successful man the economy changed drastically in such a manner that in a very short time a man's entire resource base is wiped out? Would your man still be self-sufficient? What would you do then?

Such things can and do happen, I assure you. You don't have to look far to find them happening. War can wipe out whole resource bases and you cannot always get out in time or even stop the war yourself. Fast innovations wipe out whole professions and render skills very surprisingly obsolete. Natural disasters and unforeseeable accidents destroy resource bases too. People can be riding a wave of great success one minute and the next they're on a beach so hot and dry and at such low tide that you'd think you're in a desert which you very well might be anyway. What would you do then?

Why should he ask you for credits? Well, if you were going to be his partner in winning at the game of life, was it totally out of place that he should pass the ball to you sometimes?

No need going back and forth on this. Did you read the part where I said, I did most of the calling? See, he/you can spend a lifetime justifying in actions and inactions. Afterall, every human action, good or bad is justifiable. I have helped a lot of friends in the past follow their dreams, set priorities right and all that. The little we stayed together, he could even testify to how much value I was able to add to his life. However, I cannot trust him enough with my future.

Of course "falling" is expected in life's venture. I'm not afraid of falling but I'm afraid of anyone who will not rise. I can only be with the someone I trust that if he falls, I am confident he knows what to do to get back to his feet. Otherwise, I'm so sorry.

BTW, thanks for your special interest in me. You may sheath your sword now.

ihedinobi2: That your expectations were disappointed does not make you a gold-digger or anything like that. The question is what he was doing about his situation and/or what he was willing to do about his situation. Men have risen out of worse circumstances to write a totally opposite story. So it's a question of whether he was a worthwhile investment for you to make or not. If he was heading somewhere and was only coming along slowly and you couldn't wait then that's your choice. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you not the type of person a man should trust when the storms blow.

You are judging me. Wrongly! Gosh? Why would he even ask me for airtime knowing fully well I was a young graduate, didn't have a job at that time and was completely dependent on my parents? I didn't ask him to be "super-rich", or give me anything. I was only asking that with that CV I printed earlier, he ought to have been self-sufficient. He even told me he was in debt!

Ephemmm: I understand your point here, but ladies have to bear it in their minds that men are finding it more difficult to earn a living nowadays. As a man, I have found a lady who have done that for me too especially as a fresh graduate without any job. The matter was so worse to the extent that I always go to sites then looking for blocks to carry upstairs in other to find money to apply for some jobs, but without any job coming forth.

In short, this ladies left all of a sudden, I was devastated and all my dreams with her died, but life goes on: it pains me to the extent that for over three years I avoid any other relationship and face my life squarely.

But all glory be to God Almighty who has changed my life for better. My work is Ok: my life becomes more meaningful, and my education is still in progress: but it alwlays pains me that she laboured but refused to reap what she has shown.

I met her by chance sometimes ago, and I offered her financial help willingly. She appreciated it but wept cos I made her to understand that a megre help like this was not my plan for her.

Ladies be more patient with guys please.

Did you really go through the CV I printed up there? The guy already had already finished his master's and worked for two years? Did you see that? I wasn't asking him to be "to rich" or to give me anything, I was only asking that he should have been self-sufficient!

Private jet is luxury.

If you have personal money to afford yourself such luxury, pls by all means do.

If you don't, pls don't acquire one by people's common wealth, because they are gullible to you as spiritual head. Its fraud!

OP, Personal Experience.

Sometime ago, I started "seeing" one of my sister's old time classmate, an Architect from a Federal University, graduated with a good result and have a Master's degree, and with two year experience too. These were the sketchy details I knew about him before we started dating. So yes!, he has potentials.

Ok. Two months into the r/ship, I noticed this guy was broke, broke with the necessities of basic living. I started becoming worried. I lived in a city two hours from his, but he couldn't afford t-fare (not time) once in a week or two to come and see me. Calls nko?, na me dey call most times. Ok o. I was still on it.

Once, I went to his office see him, by the time I set out by 5pm back to my city, I drank a bottle of coke. Even the taxi fare to the park, he didn't give me. Hmmmmm. No need to say, I was "down". Another day, I went back to his residence to visit him on a Sunday o, I nearly fainted at what I saw. His room in the family house even had a leaky roof

The one that broke the Carmel's back, was the day he asked me to transfer some call credit to his phone. At this time, I had completely lost grip!

So am I a gold-digger? Am I impatient? I'm I unrealistic or simply unreasonable? I leave the answers to you.

As much as having potentials is good, if its not translated into financial ability(lack of better adjectives), there is no need to bring out a lady from her father's house to starve her.

Feex:
Abeg I need serious posters please. I need anyone that can help link me with a car hire in US

Hahaha. U think I am not serious? Ok. Even if its not you, you can bring me customers. I've created a topic on that #winks

When you finally land in China, that's my job

.

I feel its the same pastor that subjected his congregation to eating grass.

My dad is not that technologically savvy, just make calls, send texts... but my mum chats on whatsapp wella . She edited all her PhD project work herself.

I pray for a successful completion.
God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

HarrveySpecter: There's one in Ogun, forgotten the name. In a village there fa! Pays way more than all this listed.

WaterMann?

OLUJOSHINS: 1) Learn to buttress Ur point without insults. Its a very consequential act.

2) U understand the context in which I am employing the commercial register "liability" right?

3) Stop moving the scenario from the maternal being to the infant.

In case U still wish to gather knowledge here,
4) So bringing forth a baby automatically upgrades the status of a super destructive, kitchen absorbing, less than useful woman to a very hard working woman?

I don't know if I should say U are being sentimental or unrealistic here.

I didn't not insult you. I don't thread e-insults. Whether she was super destructive or not, once she delivers a baby, she should be accorded the dignity of rest and the lest she needs is another lazy man hanging around her creating even more work/stress for her.

What I understand is that you opened a thread and by all means want it to grow to 100 pages. So feel free to reply and re-reply and re-reply every post with or without understanding. As for me, I'm out!

OLUJOSHINS: My definition of a liability is an investment that drains U rather than provide gains 4 U & the afore mentioned points can send Ur wallet to that level below RED.

What if I also insist that lazy, nagging, problematic wives should not be granted maternity leave? Won't such a decision backfire on the hard working wives?

As we have lazy men, U also have lazy women. So don't bar a needed break due to existence of bad eggs.

So you have defined a married woman as the husband's investment? Sounds sick! What of the baby she brought forth? Also a liability? Yea, going by your definition because having a baby also "send Ur wallet to that level below RED".

No right thinking adult can categorize a woman who had just given birth and on maternity leave as "lazy". Have you ever witnessed child birth before? How old are you sef? If a woman is lazy, that is story for another day. On this topic, we are discussing about women during their maternity leave.

Sweetie, Its obvious you are a child and I'm not interested in back and forth replies. Bless!

OLUJOSHINS: 1) Some women tend to activate an ultra "gluttonic" lifestyle after birth with the excuse usually being that the child is draining her breast.
2) Some women have disastrous hormone issues that make them break all the glass connected things and breakable plates in the house. Some husbands en up spending a lot to replace such items.
3) Unfortunately, some women have health issues that stops them from having a normal childbirth. Some of these women will need "1gallon" of blood to survive the birth while others might need a specialist to perform an operation on her to remove the child.

There are lots of reasons why some women fall under this liability group.

By your definition, this is what makes a human being (male or female) a liability Before you quote me again, check the dictionary meaning of the word "liability".

I reiterate, if a man cannot help his wife with house chores during her maternity leave, there is no need to grant such a lazy man "paternity leave"!

OLUJOSHINS: Do husbands endorse maternity leave? Despite the liability nature of some wives.

Maternity leave is a rest period for a woman who has just given birth. How can a woman in this category fall under your "liability" description

To?

Mtchewwwwwwwwwwww

No man should be given any paternity leave except with endorsement from the wife!

The wife should decide if the man is useful at home based on his previous records of home and child care

Otherwise no need to keep an lazy man at home and create more work for the woman sef

carefreewannabe: I have got a question: He wants to send her packing from where to where?

Bedroom to kitchen

Seriously, I need to see the facial expression of the guy before I comment

Waaaa! My graduate certificate.

I don't even know what to say but..... menh this thread is very funny. I "liked" almost every post!

Magnitude 6.5 earthquake that struck the Yunnan Province of China two weeks ago. As I type, light has been fully restored to the Epicenter. What is wrong with us sef

sirwilly1: You see your life? Is Amaechi politically powerful that Goodluck that he'll commission projects in another governor's state (wamakko)? APC always saying rubbish since time immemorial.

U have just shown yourself. Funny enough, I'm not sure I know the full meaning of APC. I don't care either. All I want I want is a better Nigeria.

Chapter 2: I see Dame more often than our VP on political news. I can't help but notice it!

Dame has become more politically powerful than our VP

Funny. Lemme share mine.... Not my mum directly though....

We had one neighbor back in the days, she was never married and very advanced in age (even though she never admits). She was also a lecturer and was staying with her young nephews. So my mum was somehow her confidant.

When we were younger, she will call my mum to attend to her "strange" ailment. My mum in turn comes back to tell us that she doesn't understand her kind of sickness and she has refused to go to hospital, she said she takes drugs but never shows her what drugs. The thing really lingered o, no be small. Hehe. From vomiting, to weakness, to fatigue, to sprain, to headache, bodyache, dizziness and the rest. Mind you at that time, my mum didn't know it was menopause o. She was just playing an adult role around and ailing neighbour. Lol. The woman in turn didn't tell her because she was a civil servant that had falsified her age to about 10years younger. Hehe

Ok. Years later, my mum's own started, and that when when she thought back and realised our then-neighbor was on menopause. By then too she had known how to handle herself better.

Today, my mum has been retired for a few years, the woman is still a "youngie" lecturer . That's the end of my story. #Tans

Aunty OP, can we hear your own story? Or are you the one on menopause? Are you getting really close? Spill it out, lets hear...