₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
True.

Lol! @ mo stubborn.

Yes oh.

bukatyne:
I wish the OP was here to provide feedback on what she did.

Going back to the man seemed not to be an option for her.

I would never encourage sleeping with a married man
I would tilt towards masturbation (as creative as possible) or re-marriage depending on the particulars of the divorce.

Kai, Buka.

We no longer use the term "masturbation" for females. The word is so heavy and old school.

We call it "DJ" or "DJing" now. You can search it online.

The old school one we all know is the traditional type, while the use of vibrators is the "modern" type.

I say make I tell you as GenZ education.

bukatyne:
The way you said it is funny ni.

Generally, it is good to know the outcome you want per instance to determine the advise taken.

However, if there is one thing they get, it is that men need the carrot and stick approach to rate you. That's why our mother's/the church's wrong teaching on a mouse-like wife never works. Be a mouse, and you are seen as a beast of burden , 'loved' for the service you provide.

But again, I think it also applies to women.

Generally, experience is the best teacher.

So listening to people who've lived their lives to the fullest and also one's self will determine if the advice will be well received or rejected.

Lol. Thankfully, I cannot relate to the "mouse-like-wife" situation. Mo stubborn.

bukatyne:
@ bold:

Lol Buka, why are you laughing?

Gerrard59:
Na wetin you like be that.

But yes, give it to Onegai. She is good at what she does.

Lol see .

I love listening to older women (female OGs) who have lived. Their advice is ALWAYS solid. I learn from their experiences in life.

Onegai:
Hun

Check out adult stores in your location.

Also, go and date. Date, not for remarriage, but for physical pleasure. Meet a man you like, make sure he's safe and discreet and take care of business. Have a guy for chatting and gisting, several guys even. Keep one for business.

Keep serious dating on the back burner for now.

Keep them all from your kids.

That's what men do in your situation and that is what you should do, too.

Move on, m'dear.

And here is the truly beautiful thing (forget, I've seen this happen too many times, I can bet crypto on it sef):

Once you're dating and moving on with your life, that your ex is suddenly going to want to come back, stylishly.

Why?

Because you're peaceful, relaxed and busy. You're not fighting him anymore, you're not bitter, you're not keeping the kids from him. You don't care if he's trying to annoy you or flaunt his new gf in your presence, he is no longer important.

His Limerence and his Mid Life crisis is eventually slowing down. The brain fog in his head is clearing. You're looking good, smelling nice and he can see you through the eyes of other men, you look fu.ckable again.

You're comfortable yet excitingly new.

But please, don't take him back. Don't ever let him come back. If he was dumb enough to leave you, be smart enough to let him go.


And if you think that I'm making this up, that nobody wants a single mum of 3: Nne, go and baff up, do makeup, wear one lovely dress that announces your singleness (you know what I'm taking about, you need heels too) and snap a good pic and upload it to Facebook.

You're about to realise how many of your male uni and secondary school classmates always hoped for a chance with you. And they are usually an upgrade to your ex-man.

The same thing happens with men who were dumped by babes. They stop grieving and start taking care of themselves and suddenly their exes want to come back.

And one last thing: don't feel old.

Mature, rich guys (especially those in Abuja and Lagos) don't like small girls of 24 yrs, they're too young for them. All the big boys, bank MDs, Governonrs, Ministers and Oil big boys are carrying 35 years and older.

Why? Because you're discreet (you have kids, so you're not fighting their wives and aren't planning on trapping them with babies), you're secure in your skin and you're eager for se.x (no need to pretend like you no like am or act like a virgin). Those 20 yr old babes are busy doing Snapchat with him, you, OTOH, have been trained via marriage: you know you will ask him if he has taking his BP meds and listen to him complain about his son's marriage and admire his grandkids. You'll even Like his wife's inspirational posts on IG and be respectful to her. You are not planning on destroying his life, so they are very safe with you.

Na now your market go sell.

I have classmates that are 43, living in a nice flat in Chelsea (UK), being sponsored by people you read about in newspapers. The 25 yr old babes flaunting on IG are for immature Mid Life Crisis guys in their early 40s (who just started collecting N2m/month from an IOC), that want to feel young, all the girls can get is N400k and "thanks" from the serious big men.

Start dressing up and spending 2 hours every weekend on the island, in strategic bars. Something go click.

I am speaking from experience.

Trust me!

Amazing!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this perspective, Ma'am. And it is so spot on.

Hats off for you.

Nazgul:
No wahala

Thank you, Naz.

Nazgul:
Then you learn tech so that you can position yourself accurately in the job maket.

That's exactly what I did and got mine. I paid to learn, and used the knowledge I got to land a job.

Yeah I know.

Yeah, for that stuff we spoke about a while ago, I'd reach out when it's time.

Nazgul:
I have a friend who's office rented an office space at Ikeja around airport road. He told me that only them and 2 other cooperate firms remain there. The rest have all folded up cos their rent was increased by about 70% so most couldn't cope. Coupled with the fact that the purchasing power of the people has greatly reduced. So there are hardly any customers out there.

He even told me that they literally struggled to pay their rent this year and with the way things are, he's doubting if the company would remain afloat by this time next year.

I advised him to get a remote job.

Hmmm I can only imagine.

It's terrible out there.

Remote job is the way now. But it is looking hard to get especially for the non-tech roles.

Proserpina:
Lol no mind me.

I still dey wrestle with saying everything I notice

Kai. I can imagine.

chitheo:
Yes, I do CAC registrations o. Salary has to be augmented, since Tinubu naira has lost its value. Lol

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Oh great 😊, well-done.

I know right. The naira has really lost its value. God help us.

Enjoy the rest of your day too.

Nazgul:
It's really bad out there. Imagine you're running a business center and have to cope with buying fuel at N1,500 per liter. How much can you make at the end of the month, cos you still have electricity bills and other items like paper and ink you'll need to keep your business running.

These days, start up small scale businesses can't survive. Most go out of business without even realizing their capital.

Those who already have jobs are watching their salaries become worthless cos of the way the naira keeps depreciating each day.

It's well o.

Lol, it is indeed crazy.

I was gisting with my friend this morning and he was saying there wasn't much traffic today because there wasn't even much buses on the road. In this Lagos oh. Monday morning.

Running a business in Nigeria currently is not for the faint hearted. Only the strongest can survive.

Lol even multinational companies are folding up or leaving the country. Many companies are downsizing too for cheap labour. The naira devalues daily....

Proserpina:
Coupled with her receding hairline, she look stressed and unhealthily aged.

May God help her

Pina, your mouth nor good. 🤣🤣

chitheo:
Hello folake4u, I have been meaning to say hello to you. I keep forgetting. I am glad you reached out today. Hope you are good?

I am good and thanks for asking.

Practice has just been there.....

No, I did not give him my number.

Lol it is fine.

Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks for asking as well.

Pele. Practice nor easy this period. It is well. Do you also do CAC gigs to augment your salary?

Alright, that is good. He goes about asking for ladies number and trolling them.

Hi baby girl chitheo

I'm glad you're recuperating really well. Wishing you speedy recovery and God's full healing. 💖

How's the Law practice at your end?


PS: Hope you didn't give your number to the poster above? That's a troll.

Nazgul:
My aunt called me today to complain that fuel is between 1,400-1,500 in the east.

And I was like how would small scale business owners survive?

Even top MDs and CEOs are complaining...na wa o.

1,500 is really high oh. Omoooo crazyyyyyy!

Toh. Small scale, large scale oh, everyone's suffering the bad economy.

Didn't you see Dangote carry microphone dey do media rounds? Lol e touch everybody.

Nazgul:
I'm really pitying people with large families this period cos I know that they won't be finding it funny.

Me that's not even Married, I'm complaining about bills, how much more those with like 4 kids?

Honestly my prayer would be to exit this failed country. Nigeria is gone.

Yeah me too. They're really going through a lot this hard time.

Bills choke for both married and unmarried, Naz. 😂🥲

I called my Pops yesterday and he was saying at their side, some filling stations are selling for N1,100-1,400. Never seen my old man complain so bitterly.

Nazgul:
What still baffles me is that despite the nation wide suffering, people are still defending this man. Go to Twitter (X) and see how they fanatically defend his absurd policies.

Buhari we were calling clueless ruled for 8 years and fuel increased from N97 to N179 per liter.

Tinubu came on board and within one year, fuel has increased with over 1k difference.

I'm just trying to imagine how Nigeria would be by 2027. Maybe fuel would reach 5k per liter.

My prayer now is for God to make my Japa plans work. Even if na to engage in dry fast I won't mind. Cos with the pace Tinubu is ruining this country, it's only a matter of time before looking good can become dangerous cos you would easily be robbed just for dressing good.

Oh of course, people would still defend his actions. Na all of us go suffer am las las. Loool.

Only this year, fuel price has increased like three times. Schools are resuming tomorrow and children must eat oh. They don't care how you get the money but they have to be fed.

I pray I'm not in this country before 2026. From my mouth to God's ears. Because the country doesn't have prospects of getting better in the nearest future. Oh well, maybe it's because I'm a realist.

By God's grace, your japa plans will succeed. Insha Allah.

Nazgul:
That's the sad reality. Cos transportation has increased so these traders in order not to sell at a loss would add the hiked transport fare to whatever price they decide to sell.

Actually!!!

And we both know that once price goes up in Nigeria, it can never go down.

A 5 mins walking distance to my house with keke was 100naira before, this past week it's now N200.

Farfalla:
See this pikin o!

😂😂😂

Farfalla:
Which Kama Sutra? Just the thought of it will have some of them folks binding demons.

About that comment, where do we draw the line between what brings glory to God and what doesn't? That's the big question. There are no clear instructions in the bible concerning what's lewd and what's not, so people come up with all sorts of theories. Next you go hear that rubbing clit and moaning are "worldly" acts.

What I insist on however is that couples should never do what makes them uncomfortable. I don't subscribe to anal sex for instance and I have never understood how people can find pleasure in it, but oh well....

Hahahaha. You know them very well.

Indeed, it is a valid question. And some clerics do not help matters with their postulations and theories, which their members believe hook, line and sinker.

Oh there are people who don't moan at all. They believe it's a sin. So they lay like that and just wait for the act to be done and over with.

I agree wholeheartedly with what you said and draw the line at anal sex too. It has never made sense to me. Another one I don't subscribe to is eating ass.

But I like slapping/ touching men's ass sha.

Farfalla:


I knew it! I was hoping the OP would respond so I can throw in more questions.

I've even heard a certain preacher preach against woman-on-top and doggy style. He claimed that a woman being on top usurps the man's authority as the head of the family, while doggy style is animalistic.

I wonder what else isn't "permitted"? Is whining your waist even allowed?

Wait a minute, why am I even having this conversation with a Gen-Z that I should be nurturing into a model citizen?

Loool. I've heard many pastors say that a woman being ontop of a man is a sin, even that doggy own gist.

Them go still forbid Kama Sutra too.

Make I nor whine my waist ke? Abeg oh. These people need to be stopped.

Look at the comment of someone from the thread.

Hahahaha, having this conversation with you will nourish and prepare me for future days. It's good to learn from experienced seniors, Ma.

Farfalla:
Which one be immoral sexual acts with your spouse?

Lmao.

There are some Christians that believe the only "godly" sex style is missionary. Doggy, reverse cowgirl, 69 etc are not "christian-like" of true believers.

Konquest:
Indeed, I absolute agree with your summations here Folake.

JUST a quick note... With reference to the upset stomach you had, "Septrin" works VERY well for me. Within 30 minutes, I usually gain relief from any bloating that comes from eating very late at night [while at home or at parties] then going to bed almost immediately without giving room for digestion. I learned a few years ago that once it is 9 pm [Max 10 pm] at night, I mustn't eat especially rice [fried rice, party jollof rice, etc] again. Wheat bread and avocado or butter, or any other lighter meals can still do if I eat late but NOT carbs like rice and pounded yam which SMACKED me down in the past due to "oju kokoro."

If Septin is what you also used, then that's fine because it works very fine for me. As I type this, I still have some of the Septin tabs in my first aid box.

ENJOY the rest of your weekend Folake "onijogbon." *smirk*

Talk to you later.

Oh that day, I ran out of Flagyl. I don't like taking medicine too for fear of drug misuse.

And I don't eat late night food. I'm an early eater, day and evening. Latest 6:30pm/7pm, I've eaten my dinner. Lol, people always wonder if I won't be hungry at night but no. This is something I'm used to since childhood. My family didnt encourage late night meals.

And peradventure I eat late, I would feel bloated or purge and won't be able to sleep well at night, so I avoid that totally.

I am always amused when people say they can eat at 12midnight or warm eba at 2am. I can't relate to that. I admire them a lot.

Oh my! You mentioned wheat bread? Kai. It's been a while I ate this. I should look for it and avocado next week to satisfy this craving.

Lmao. I be real onijogbon indeed. I like it oh.

Enjoy your weekend too.

Nazgul:
A kilo of chicken is 5k here in Lagos. Although I haven't bought any since this recent increase in fuel. I just pray it doesn't increase.

I bought last week Saturday for 4,500.

It might increase again because of the scary fuel price.

doggedfighter:
I couldn't have said it any better.

The woman is thriving and focusing on better days, they're still pained she's moved on. Logical beings indeed.

Two fools.

Konquest:
How's it going Folake?... Thanks for the extra information here. I just did a quick online check and found your claim to be TRUE.
The use of pressure cookers or tenderizers would have done the trick in cooking faster. Why are some people this clueless and unfortunate?

There are two videos right below on the negatives of cooking with paracetamol. Being that my biological mother was a senior medical professional before she retired, I've always known that using multiple pain killers [daily overdoses of Paracetamol tabs under different brand names is a STRONG recipe for kidney failure but I never knew that some people use it to cook].

I think it's BETTER to focus more on home cooking [while thoroughly washing the raw food items] than to eat outside often. This phenomenon of cutting corners when cooking in some restaurants is a global thing which happens in many countries that is based off of the desire to maximize profit. This is where food standardization enforced by food inspectors comes in.

Kidney failure is something I have an aversion for, so, I regularly check my blood sugar and blood pressure while reducing salt and pain killer intake as much as possible because they are ALL precursors of kidney failure. Even with a successful kidney transplant, you have to take drugs for as long as you are alive AND the kidneys usually start failing again after about 10 years from the time of the first ever kidney transplant so there will be a need for another kidney transplant after 10 years. It's just completely stressful so it's better to SIMPLY AVOID kidney failure in the first place.

ENJOY the rest of your day Folake.


NAFDAC warns against meat softening with Paracetamol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zGENYCc1Bg
TVC News Nigeria · 9 Jan 2020

PARACETAMOL AS A MEAT TENDERIZER??!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2Va4UlBbWA
Flo Chinyere · 22 Jun 2018

Hi Konquest.

I'm alright. Trust you're fine as well.

Lol. Everyone's looking to make quick profits these days at the expense of one's health.

And yes, it is better and much healthier to focus on homemade meals. A lot of restaurants these days are cutting corners and it is terrible.

I attended a team bonding event with my colleagues recently and we all went to a popular restaurant at VI. Lol I purged the whole night and was very weak. Thankfully, it was the weekend and I rested a bit.

I have a very sensitive stomach and so I'm careful what goes into my mouth.

It is good to regularly check one's blood sugar, blood pressure while reducing the intake of salt and popping painkillers at every given time. Adding fruits to one's diet is also making a healthy choice. I don't joke with my fruit intake daily.

For my blood sugar/blood pressure, it has ALWAYS been low and normal. So yeah, I'm maintaining it that way.

Hmmm yeah. Kidney failure has been rampant these days. To even get a donor sef na problem. Talk more of the dialysis. I don't think we have much dialysis centres in Nigeria.
The procedure is also expensive and beyond reach of the common man.

So everyone has to be on GUARD.

God help us all.

GloriousGbola:
The edo alpha male in his habitat



Better stop fronting for Naz or this na ya future. One hard faced midget with oversized gbola

Lol. There are also fine Edo guys actually.

I'm not fronting for anybody. You people should allow me breathe on this Nairaland street nau. 🤣

GloriousGbola:
Folake4u is this true?

Leave my Governors alone.

Their faces are always hard though.

Larrysung:
Omohh, I've been well
I lost interest coming here ever since nairaland got sanction for enabling tribal bigotry and slurs.

How you dey 😀😀😀

Awww. I can imagine.

To be honest, NL has been toxic these days and your brothers aren't helping matters too.

I'm alright, Alhamdulilah for everything.