I grew up listening to Jim Reeves music.

My favourites include:

1. We Thank Thee.
2. Take My Hand Precious Lord.
3. I'll Fly Away.
4. This World Is Not My Home. (My least favourite cos they were always using this song in obituary posters).
5. Where We’ll Never Grow Old.

Chelsea, make me happy today.

Gerrard59:

LOL!

This is wishful thinking, but I digress.

Okay. Fair enough. A major difference to why women in Singapore advance their careers compared to those in Japan. But cultural differences sha as the Japanese don't like strangers living with them.


I see. I did not grow up with one, but yes, I agree that the Motherhood Penalty exists as my mom's career rapidly progressed after I was old enough to cook and take of my siblings.


As expected. As hypergamy exists, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty in careers and earnings will continue.


Good for them, but bad for the country as a whole. The answer will be to decentralise Nigeria's economic hubs so graduates elsewhere can earn a good income and have a thriving career without necessarily being in Lagos. I cannot see how a graduate from Ebonyi or Bauchi will compete with someone who studied and lives in Lagos/Ogun.

Omo. Make every family do wetin go work for them abeg.

Oh wow. The Japanese women do not like strangers living with them? Interesting.

You seeeeeeeeeeeee!!! That Motherhood Penalty is so real.

Fair points. Sometimes I wonder how lawyers in Bauchi, Taraba, Zamfara and the rest thrive.

Chelsea, please behave today.

Pojomojo:
Even you gan is nursing a plan to leave Nigeria ma pa iro Folake

O gbo.

Amazing thread, Gerrard59.

The Brain Drain is real.

Gerrard59:


Well, the numbers say women have to choose, especially in the nascent years of the child.



The advantage Nigeria and countries abut to poorer neighbours have compared to other developed nations. Daycare is very expensive. I recall mentioning to Ednut that parents from both side can be drafted in from Nigeria. Bros replied with it "what if dem don die"?



You don marry?


Honest question, did you at least glance through the article I linked in the previous post?

P.S. Thanks for the answer. Not surprised. The trajectory answers it. UNILAG and to an extent UI and maybe just OAU will be the public universities that could have such an alumna these days.

I still don't see any reason women have to choose.

Also, Daycare is expensive abroad. We all know that, but from my previous response, I was talking about a family based in Nigeria. So getting a nanny, preferably an elderly lady shouldn't be a problem.

Lol, I'm not married. What I meant by that is I grew up with a nanny, my mum's a career woman and she didn't pause her career just because she had us as kids. There was the nanny to support us till we reached a reasonable age. Hence, that worked for me and others who grew up with nannies.

No, I didn't check the article but now that you've mentioned, I'd check it out.

Oh yeah. Private schools are doing well with their students. I have a couple of friends from private schools who have gotten their LLM before reaching 25. Very applaudable.

Lorayne:


Damn!..

If she doesn't want to take it further with him, I'm available.

Hahahaha if you nor get money......

Gerrard59:

I am curious, what happens when she begins childbearing?

You see, this discussion is part of the reasons there is a low birthrate across the developed world with many modern day women declining to be in a relationship till their 30s, by then their chances of having children dwindle and marital options dry up. As we once discussed, the Motherhood Tax/Penalty is the major cause for differences in salaries between both genders in the same industry.

My point is: modern day women have to make a clear choice between being married and having children versus being career-focused. Unfortunately, both cannot work at the same time in MOST cases and across different parts of the world. What policymakers can do is promote policies that will enable working mothers to return seamlessly to the workforce, as this will endear higher fertility rates. The other option is for these women to reduce their hypergamy and marry men who they out-earn (and the men agree to such an arrangement too).

"Why Women Still Can’t Have It All" - Anne-Marie Slaughter: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-cant-have-it-all/309020/

---

This your friend with an MBA from LBS, I am curious, which places has she worked 'cos 25 is pretty young to obtain a quality MBA. Correct me if I am wrong, but she graduated from CU or Babcock or maybe ABUAD?

What do you mean when she reaches childbearing? And who says the modern woman have to choose between being married and having children versus being career-focused? It can work if the husband is also supportive, they could also employ a help to assist with work at home. It worked for me and many others. So I don't see any reason why women have to choose?

She's worked in law firms and a multinational company. Oh yes, Babcock University. She isn't even 25 yet.

Tallesty1:
A man who asks his wife to abandon her career is acting selfishly; he wouldn’t have chosen her if he were truly insecure or intimidated by her financial success.

Men and women typically seek different qualities in a partner. Regardless of a woman's financial status, she often looks for a man who can provide. On the other hand, many men don’t place much value on a woman’s money because, in most cases, it doesn’t directly benefit them.

There are situations where a woman earns a good salary, but the man still shoulders the financial responsibilities. For such men, the woman’s job, money, or career holds no value in their lives.

If a woman is working but not contributing financially, and the household isn’t being managed properly because of her job, the man can tell her to quit or leave.

In some cases that they hire help because she’s working, it’s often the man who pays for it. After all, her money is considered her own.

If a man wants a housewife and is fully prepared to provide and protect, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s simply his preference, just as some women prefer men who can provide and protect.

The real issue is that women set their own standards, but when a man sets his, he’s often labeled as insecure or intimidated.

But that’s not the case at all.

I'm glad that you acknowledged that a man who asks his wife to abandon her career is selfish. However, this happens a lot.

@ the bolded. I thought Marriage was meant to be a partnership? There are lot of marriages that women contribute immensely to the family growth. And if he feels that she's not playing her role, it is something that can be discussed as a couple. Communication is still KEY.

As a matter of fact, I do not subscribe to the idea of a man telling his wife to quit her job because he "feels" she's not managing the home front well. If at all that should happen, it should be on HER OWN TERMS otherwise, there will be resentment on her part. It really isn't easy for a career woman to take a pause from her career to focus on the family, by the time she's spent substantial amount of years raising the kids and want to resume the work force, a lot of changes have happened and how is she going to explain the career gap to hiring agencies?

Infact all these talks about finances and responsibilities are part of courtship questions that many couples these days shy away from, rather they focus on chaff and not the wheat. It's best the talks start from this stage so you actually know what you're heading into.

If a man wants a house wife, I see nothing wrong with that actually. My own is that he should also find a woman who consents, is willing, ready and loves being a house wife. In simple terms, there's agreement on both parties and no coercion from a single party.

It is good for women to set their standards. And it is also good for men to set their standards and have preference. The point I'm trying to make is that let there be a consensus ad idem; a meeting of the mind with clear mutual understanding from both sides.

Look for the person that wants what you want as well. Period!

pocohantas:


Why not marry the one that doesn't want to work? I don't understand why they go for working women and make them resign.

Isn't this wizardry? I am sure that man is related to Tallesty.

I know right. They won't go and meet the ladies that want to be full time housewives, instead they target working class women and try to subdue them for their insincere intent.

Some men are like an exotic bird collector, they only want women who are free because their dream is to put her in a cage.


😂😂😂 E fit be him elder brother sef.

pocohantas:


Gbam! Times over some have said it right here. If we want to use NL as case study.

I know right.

My friend is in talking stage with a man and he told her straight up that if they get married, she'd resign from her job to be a full time house wife. This is someone who's a lawyer, has an MBA from Lagos Business School, and currently doing her Online Masters from a foreign University. All these achievements and she's not even 25 yet.

She was shocked, I told her she never see anything yet.

Maliklito:
SQL

My gawd.😂😂😂😂😂😂

Spanish.
Korean.
Igbo.

Tallesty1:
This is not entirely accurate, and you know it. Or maybe you believe it's true because many people are saying it.

Here’s the reality: women don’t see men as competition because they aren’t. A woman might tell a man that she wears expensive clothes and hairstyles to look good for him, but that’s not the full truth. They say this to get money from him. Deep down, women invest in their appearance for two main reasons:

1. Self-Esteem and Opportunities: Looking good is good business. It boosts self-esteem, confidence, and how they carry themselves. It can even open doors.

2. Competition Among Women: Women dress well to outdress each other, not because they’re doing it for their men. It’s more about outshining other women.

Similarly, a successful woman doesn’t intimidate a man or make him insecure because men and women aren’t in competition. Sime men don’t value a woman’s money, so it doesn’t matter to them. In reality, one of the things that stops a broke guy from dating or marrying a very successful woman is competition from other wealthy men, not the woman’s money.

If ten broke guys are vying for a wealthy woman, none of them will be intimidated by her wealth because there’s no one outdoing them financially. The one who might feel intimidated is the one who’s both broke and unattractive.

It’s not the woman’s money that’s the issue, but the attractiveness of his competitors.

About the bolded, we've seen times without number that there exist some men who aren't comfortable in women earning more than them because of ego issues. Also, some men have stated their preference about their partner being a full time house wife, making the woman abandon her budding career.

I'd still stand on my word that there are some men that feel insecure around women that are doing well for themselves.

Dressing the part for self esteem is a confidence booster, and it should be imbibed by both gender.

About dressing to outdo the next woman? That I cannot say because it doesn't apply to all females. Matter of fact, it doesn't apply to one gender alone. Men size their fellow men to gauge their level of wealth and sometimes in secret competition with each other.

There, I said it.

Proserpina:
The real Odogwu silencer... They are the one that matters jare not Nl guys

Good morning

Yes oh.

Good morning to you too, Pee.

Tallesty1:
Your proposals is fair enough, if she do anyhow lemme know make I give you her uncle's number.


That one dey ready to collect tu thousand pipe hundred

Nor be una fault.

Na so them sell Joseph for Bible be this.

Tallesty1 and Nazgul, the wicked brothers.

Proserpina:
I don't just get it with these Nl guys. Do they want us to add "oh I paid for it with my hard earned money" to conversations like this? I don't get it at all. I know they are creative when it comes to bragging but I can't waste brainpower on frivolities. The annoying thing is, they will still react to it if you make such additions. Very childish reasoning.

I even wonder how he could sum the whole conversation to men paying for hair when I practically personalized my initial comment. This is beyond insecure honestly, he really needs a change of women he involves with. If he can not imagine a woman can pay for her own here then it is finished for him o .

They are just too loud jare, any small thing they come to Nl. Men help women, women help men, you don't see women carrying placards online. Ordinary 200 airtime, Nl guys will start acting like they have given to nations Mumu people

I tell you. Funny enough men who really really spend on their women don't come online to shout. Na 1k for all back go dey scream everywhere. Abeggi!

My sister, I tire too. If you add "with my hard earned money", problem, if you nor add am, problem still. You can't please them really.

Lmao. It is finished for him indeed. He go dey alright, no worry.

You getttttt?! Both gender help each other and even the ladies helping men or others, they don't carry placards or post it on the board at Muri Okunola Park.

Empty vessels (men) make the loudest noise. The ones spending on their women nor dey too talk. The real Odogwu silencer.

Proserpina:
At bolded , this is because we don't see it necessary to add to the conversation or beat chest about it like you 1k subscription sender come to do on Nl.

We both know we don't depend on men and men's contribution is extra not major (at least until marriage) so why do we need to state the obvious. You should really change your environment, not all ladies can't take care of themselves. Okay?

BTW if you like barb your banny's head like a mannequin nothing concern me.

@ the bolded. You getttttt!!! We don't find it necessary to add such to the convos or brag about it.

They always complain about "broke" women, oya change your environment and people you hang out with? Noooo. Some of them feel insecure around women that are doing well for themselves.

Na their type dey give their understanding girlfriend 1k to do all back from January to December but side chick go dey use deep curl 20 inches wig.

Nazgul:

Proserpina:


The bolded is on point 👍

Yes baby.

Your self esteem rising because you know you look good.

Proserpina:
Likkkkkkeeeeee real " if I perish o"

My own is "nothing go happen "

I can control my spendings on other things but that hair ehn. I can't, I will do it. Especially when if I have been eyeing a specific hairstyle. Ah nothing can change my mind

I know right.

I already have hairstyle that I'd do next month till year ending. I don plan am for my head already.

Hair takes one's dressing from 0 to 100. 💯

Proserpina:
You are not a lady so you may not understand.

I fit use my last card do hair Sha I don't joke with my hair o

Me too.

See me go do long passion twists for 20k two weeks ago. I said to myself, "If I perish, I perish".

TheFreshVanilla:
The forgiveness shouldn't give room for steady billing.

Na this one be my concern too.

GloriousGbola:


Please keep ministering to the fallen woman. She needs to be saved... For a man such as yourself.

Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved.

Nazgul:

I don't want you to go to hell fire. 😒

Lol, don't worry about me.

Nazgul:

You don't have faith. And it's very bad.

I like it like that.

Nazgul:

5k na Nigerian money na. In the 80s my dad told me he bought a car for less than 5k.

So no be rubbish money. Your people go hold am first, when Peter Obi won e go get value I swear. 🤕

That one is in the 80s. The naira has devalued greatly.

Looool. You're a clown.

Nazgul:

Oya ho much be your bride price. Na 5k de my hand. If e no reach I go pay instalmentally. Country hard.

I no understand your second paragraph abeg explain. How my head de take skip? 🙄

5k ke? Na for recharge card or wetin? My kinsmen will send you away.

I nor dey explain pass that one abeg.

Nazgul:

It seems kwa...We've passed that stage na. I'm already planning to give you belly this before the end of this year sef.

I'm controversial how?

Nor be me you dey talk to sha. I nor dey carry belly out of wedlock.

Lol. Sometimes, your head dey skip for your hot takes.

Nazgul:
I don suffer. Meta called me a controversial member on Nairaland. Me way plenty people no sabi.

Folake4u am I controversial? 🤔

It seems you're in love with me Nazgul, this one you dey mention me every Eke market day.

Yes, you're controversial.

Gerrard59:

Total nonsense! You were asked how did Dino make his money, you began listing estates here and there. Did he steal those estates? So na Dino person go envy because he has some coins?

You see, this happens when most citizens have never made legitimate wealth and have rogue politicians to look up to. Dino just like most politicians or politically exposed people are not who a sane person should envy their wealth.

Lol. I'm not surprised that there's someone out there that "looks up" to Dino. There are lots of people on social media that love the flashy lifestyle he flaunts online without actually knowing the source.