Joker jokes jokingly...
Another array of propaganda that can't work to no length!
Brace up for Daura calls for its untrained dullard!

Nigerians no go learn!
Buhari's dead brain works more than some Nigerians' brain!

Just like herself

Newpride:
Rat ate 360kg marijuana

Truly Nigeria is animal farm.

Snake swallowed millions.......
Monkey did his own........

Now it’s rat. The same rat that chased our president out of office for weeks has emerged eating 360kg of marijuana.
We don’t know what’s likely to happen from other animals like goats, dogs, cows, birds, pigs and many more.

Are you sure you're not the one that made away with the marijuana?

I bet you didn't read the post not for a second!

Your predisposition to insulting Nigeria needs you to be checked.

Next time, you read before you comment!

If that's true... those rats most be the most high!

Police in every country are the most corrupted being... do your research well before you quote me.

That's why we have good police and the bad police... The meaning to these two are however ironical.

Fake ass nigga trying to be relevant on media by any means possible!

Moreover, who's Bobrisky?

My people, remember to get your pvc and let's send that silly old man back to his cows next year... He should go and take care of his cows... After all that's what he does better, he shouldn't take us for animals, not for another tenure.

Like if it's a yes...

Jumia issa go!
Just like Konga issa go.

talk2archy:

You need cleansing!
Your thought is dirty up here.

These days it is fashionable to lose weight. Everyone and their brothers and sisters are talking about losing weight but no one cares that most of us want to add weight or at least maintain the tinini one we have.
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�

Some people are naturally thin and find it difficult gaining weight. These group of people are often bullied but few people see that as bullying. Yes, while it is alright to ask a thin someborri: “You are too thin, are you eating at all?”, you dare not tell a fat person that “You eat too much!”. Mmh, if you try that, all the advocates of plus size people will descend on you. That’s a story for another day.

This post is to list some foods and snacks that will help you add weight. If you are being called bonga fish, atinga no blood, longa longa, ogwu azu (fish bones), bag of bones, willy willy, fido dido right now in your life, get in here! Abeg help me with more names they call thin people.

It’s time to chop up!
image: https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/2.4/svg/1f609.svg

� I hope you are loaded with money because chopping up is big business especially in this recession.

Oya, let’s go!

The following are 10 foods and snacks that will help you add weight.

1. Nuts: Groundnuts (Peanuts), Cashew Nuts, Tiger Nuts

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/nuts.jpg

mixed nuts
Nuts contain lots of healthy fats and protein. Chew as a snack in-between meals. Eat roasted groundnuts (peanuts) with ripe bananas as we do in Nigeria and you have a great snack that will help you add up. Bananas are fattening too so there you go. Details on bananas later.

Chew tiger nuts (aki awusa, ofio, aya) with groundnuts or on its own, blend it with coconuts and dates (dabino) to get Tiger Nuts drink and enjoy!

Cashew nuts are also great, though more expensive than the other nuts. But I did warn you that if you want to gain weight, you need to have a full pocket, didn’t I?
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2. Peanut Butter (okwo ose in Igbo)

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/peanut-butter.jpg

peanut butter
Peanut Butter is said to contain 100 calories per tablespoon. That’s a lot of calories for one tablespoon of mede mede. And the good thing is that the fats and oils in groundnut is healthy and groundnuts contain proteins too.

In Nigeria, all you need to do is buy well-roasted peanuts in the market, peel and take them to those people that have manual grinders in the market and they will blend them into peanut butter for you. They will even do the peeling for you right there in the market. You do not need to add any other ingredient because in Nigeria, roasted peanuts are already salted. After grinding, put in a glass jar with a cover and close tight.

You can grind this at home with a dry mill but it is messy abeg. Outside Nigeria, peanut butter is readily available in supermarkets.

Use peanut butter as bread spread just like you would spread jam, butter or margarine on slices of bread. Add it to your smoothies or simply lick it at any chance you get so that the adding up can start happening already. Remember, there are 100 calories in 1 tablespoon!

3. Whole Milk or Full Fat Milk

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/whole-milk.jpg

whole milk
If you live in Northern Nigeria, close to the cattle farms then you are in luck. Fura, milk as it comes from the cow is milk with all the fat intact. So if you have access to this type of milk, binge on it till you are drunk on cow milk.
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If you are not close to any cows that produce milk, look for whole milk in big supermarkets like Shoprite and Spar. Whole Milk comes in small 1 litre cartons. Oldenburger is a good brand of whole milk (UHT) that is available in Nigeria. Do not buy the powder one, buy the liquid one with whole milk or full cream written on it.

Outside Nigeria, pasteurised whole milk is available in supermarkets.

If you are looking to gain weight, never ever use skimmed or semi skimmed milk in your life again, ever!

I would like to mention here that cheese, which is a derivative of milk, is mostly high in fat making it a great food for adding weight. It is not common in Nigeria so we eat imported cheese that is mostly available in foreign and big supermarkets.

Add cubes of cheese or grated cheese to your salads, eat cheese as a snack if you can stand the salty taste and use slices of cheese to eat bread as a sandwich.

And you do not like Pizza? What?? Think of all that cheese topping you are missing out on.
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4. Avocado

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/avocado.jpg

avocado
That one we call “Avocado Pear” in Nigeria, do you know that one of it can easily contain 300 calories? That’s a lot for one small fruit. You can easily overload on calories with this fruit so abeg ooo, take this your chopping up ministry easy o.

Add avocado to your salads, mash and use as bread spread, add it to smoothies or just eat it as a fruit. It goes well with Nigerian rice dishes.

There are many ways to enjoy this fruit so load up when it is in season.

5. Bread

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/white-bread.jpg

white bread
There are lots of information about losing weight but almost nothing on weight gain. So if you know anything that those who want to lose weight are doing, do the opposite. Weight watchers usually run away from bread. That means you need to make bread your friend, in fact find someone who owns a bakery and make him/her your BFF.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I used to finish one loaf of bread at a sitting. Yes, and I was adding up and adding up soteeeh my obstetrician started warning me that my baby will be so big. This was I that was not a fan of bread before then. That is one proof that eating bread makes you fat. I ate and I saw the results. I am not saying you should be like me and finish one loaf of bread at a sitting but this post is about fattening up, right? So chop up we will!

And when you team those slices of bread with avocado spread or peanut butter spread, you will come here and testify within a short time.

6. Smoothies

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/smoothies.jpg

smoothies
Smoothies are a great way to get in more calories into your body. If you are like me (I hate chewing), drinking calories will be much less tasking for you. You can easily get 2 bananas into a supersize serving of smoothie and drink it all up but try eating the bananas and see if you can get past the first one.
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Please note that all smoothies are not created equal so you need to be careful here so you do not pedal backwards. Since you are looking to add up, avoid vegetables-only smoothies. Stick to smoothies made with bananas, avocados, mangoes (because they contain natural sugars in large amounts and will help your weight gain ministry).

Also, add oat flour and peanut butter to the smoothies because they help with weight gain as they contain lots of protein. I have some weight gain smoothies recipes coming up.
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� And drink that smoothie with a supersize cup, will you?
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�

7. Yams

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/yam-tuber.jpg

yam tuber
Not only do yams contain large amounts of carbohydrate (making them great for weight gain), the carbohydrates in yam have a nutritional value. The dietary fibre in yams also helps decrease bad cholesterol and regulates blood sugar levels.

Oya, start digging into those pounded yams and yam porridges without feeling guilty!

8. Beans

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/beans.jpg

beans
Black eyed beans oo, brown (oloyin) beans oo, remember what your mama told you about beans containing 100% protein?

She lied.

Beans actually contain more carbohydrates than protein but the truth is that they still contain more protein than many other foods that’s why they are regarded as THE protein food. So by eating beans, you get the best of both worlds, carbohydrate for fat gain and proteins for muscle gain. This means you will not be wobbly as you gain the weight.

9. Meat

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/beef.jpg

beef
Isi Ewu and Nkwobi anyone? Meat, especially meat with marbling (streaks of fat), that part of meat known as tozo in Nigeria, helps with weight gain. So eat meat and eat more meat. If you can, just roast the meat and chew it with vegetables. This way of eating meat (steak) is not common in Nigeria but I am giving you that information now. So cut chunks of meat, roast or grill and choplate.

Red meat is said to be bad for us because of the bad cholesterol it contains but once a week enjoyment will not hurt, will it?

10. Sweet fruits

image: http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/bimages/tropical-fruits.jpg

tropical fruits
We have lots of sweet tropical fruits in Nigeria and you may be surprised at the amount of calories these fruits contain. Bananas, mangoes, dates (dabino in Hausa and sold by Hausa Mallams that sell aki awusa/ofio/aya), pineapples, avocado even apples are all high calorie fruits.

One medium banana contains 100 calories. That means if you eat 5 in a day we are talking about 500 calories. You can easily eat 5 bananas in a day, can’t you? Don’t look at me like that!
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� Most thin people have very small stomachs so they can’t really eat much. I want to add up, I want to add up but when you are told what to eat and how many times to eat in a day to add up, liver will fail you, abi?

That’s it! Now go and chop up and be happy.

Remember:
This is not a healthy diet advice. As you eat these, make sure you get a good measure of all classes of food too. Go for regular health checks with a qualified doctor to make sure your body can handle all these extra calories it is getting. While one person’s body can process these and remain healthy, another person’s body may not be able to handle all these extra food that is being thrown at it.

There is no guarantee that you will gain weight after eating all these. While some people will quickly gain weight after being on a weight gain diet for a month, others will never gain weight whatever they eat. The ability to add weight and maintain it is in our genes amongst other factors that I may write about later. Look around you, are the members of your family mostly on the thin side or on the big side?

So give these a try, give the diet some time to take effect and see if they work for you.

If they work for you, do not forget to come here and testify. If you are already eating some of these and they are working for you, please drop your testimony below to help others.
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� Thank you!

#copied


Read more at http://blog.allnigerianrecipes.com/10-foods-for-weight-gain/#dieiETdacUtQ8GbG.99

You must have suffered your eyes very well @op;
That stylish look when you don't want her town notice that you've been staring at the boobs!
Your eyes muscles don suffer!

You need the holy spirit more than ever to sanctify your mind and eyes.

Kpele, hope you no carry verseline go church?

Emi eshu dey your body!

Mrjo:
U AR UNDER ARREST 4 BREAKING RULES OF ENGAGENENT.

I crave for your indulgence, I got to know that I lost some pages outta my Rules and Regulations of Engagement

I belong to comment readers association of nigeria (CRAON )our duty is to read,hit like,smile and pass. we no dey find trouble oo also try to be very brief so we can move to other comments tnx. please if you are a member of this association, #hitlikeandpass # no find trouble oo

Now this gets more interesting!

Truly I tell you brethren, repent for the son of man shall come in no time.

The kingdom of God is surely at hand!

Premiumwriter:
who dey beg you

Your mention is not worthy of responding to however!
Refer to my first post for detailed details!

As much as I'm here to read comments,
I implore you to compose you comment such that it'll be concise, precise and meaningful, lest I won't read it.

Not all comments are worthy of reading!

Only God knows what's in my mind seeing the first picture!

waiting for the economics experts to break it down to my level...

only if there would be sense in it anyway.

I'm only an architect!

postbox:
Commendable... but we still hv a long way to go in the Educational sector.

Hence, we need to start somewhere!

seenter84:

Ok
How do i contact u

08069094736

seenter84:

Čan you mentor me in archtecture?

why not!

faorex:


Lol... typical mindset of every Nigerian architect...

nobody wants to take up the jobs in the ministry and that is why the town planners believe they are superior to us, because we've neglected our job at the ministry of housing and every one wants to Freelance..

But we still have our people in the ministry, perhaps working with government can be good for architects because you'll still have your time to work on your own, but government don't even care about employment after all.

So what do we do?
Sit back and starve to death as graduates?

OP... you really made my day, I'm a HND holder in architecture can't forget how B.Sc students of architecture from some schools call me to help with their design and rendering... Honestly, architecture is far more beyond certificate, it is the will to learn things by yourself!

Having a better certificate doesn't guarantee your success in that field.

Like what my mentor in architecture once told me, he said don't learn architecture as a professional course alone learn the business of architecture.

below are works designed, modelled and rendered by me.

Once you can take up being a freelance in architecture, believe me you can take job from M.Sc. holder.

Vehicles that would be released before 6.30pm today.... mtchew.... is it not Nigeria?

meanwhile, I have finally found out the whereabout of the Jamb snake, I've called Lalasticlala to come and take it with him... He loves snake.

Who's Cee C?
Is that the snake that swallowed Jamb 36million?

If the answer is yes, then I will say yes to a date.

If otherwise, then it's otherwise.

Everyday for the thief... just a day for the owner!

My heart wept over and over seeing children of under 7 years of age voting tirelessly in the far north for the just concluded election (Chairmen ans Councillors)

The question is... who merged us and these miscreants?

They are living 1605 in this 21st century.
It saddens me; to say the least.

I think we got it all wrong by the beginning of time. 1914 - was when the greatest mistake ever was made.

This is no hate speech but the pain that radiates from within.

#inec #election #voting #underagedvoters

007author:
Good job Ambode. I hate religion

Be an aethist if that's ur stand.... but don't be an enemy to religion, you'll destroy yourself.

How long would this incessant killings last for?
I'm sick of reading this here, like I'm tired!

At least the Igbos never did close to this when they were declared terrorists sect.

Why are these terrorists so protected.

Let's talk...
There's impunity, nepotism and political mediocrity in the land.

God save us from these people.

*Modified*

Buhari should be tried in ICC

Here are seven things that happen to your boobs during sex.

1. They Become More Sensitive
Once that arousal starts to kick in, because your breasts are an erogenous zone on the body, they immediately become more sensitive to the touch. I'm not just talking about the nipples, but the areola, too, and the breasts as a whole. It's like goosebump city up there.

2. They Get Bigger
The body goes through four distinct phases during sexual intercourse : excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. It’s during the plateau phase that the body sort of expands and swells, in anticipation of an orgasm. While your vagina expands about two-thirds its usual size during this phase, your boobs also get bigger ― up to 20 to 25 percent bigger to be exact.

3. The Areola Swells
Not only do your boobs increase in size, but so do your areola during sex . This is a combination of the breasts becoming engorged with blood which results in the size change. Sometimes an areola can swell so much that it can look like the nipples are no longer erect ― which isn’t the case. As long as you’re aroused, those nipples are staying that way.
4. They Release ‘Scented Sweat’
Well, to be more specific, it’s the apocrine glands in the areola that are releasing pheromones (that "scented sweat". While you may not be able to actually smell it on a conscious level, both you and your partner will be able to detect it, not even realize it, and you’ll become even more sexually attracted to each other.

5. They Tell Your Brain To Release Oxytocin
When the breasts are fondled, by hand or mouth, the
stimulation of the nipples send a memo to the brain telling it that it's time to release oxytocin. Oxytocin is also known as the love hormone, because it makes people feel all lovey-dovey, and is a major component in creating an emotional bond during sex.

6. They Can Aid In Achieving An Orgasm
According to a Rutgers University study, there’s a neurological link between nipple and clit stimulation . What this means is if you’re struggling to orgasm, stimulating both areas can help in achieving climax. In fact, there are some women who can come from nipple stimulation alone. I know! It's not fair AT ALL, but good for them!

7. They Change In Color
The combination of estrogen rushing through the body and stimulation of the blood vessels leads to a pink rash that shows up both underneath the breasts , as well as on the sides of them. This pink color can also spread to the upper stomach and neck. Also, shortly before this, the breasts can appear ― ever so slightly ― tinted blue as veins in the breast become more visible thanks to vasocongestion.

Of course, after sex, they go back to being your awesome every day boobs, but just like the rest of your body, they definitely enjoyed the ride.

https://www.bustle.com/articles/115251-this-is-what-happens-to-your-boobs-during-sex

rides for the bigger boys!
No offense for me to have at least 4 outta these super beasts, cruising neighbourhood would be more fun.
God please borrow me #20 billion from my future money.

Strict Advice to the Applicants

Only passport that depicts you as a cow will be allowed!
If you're not from North do not apply.