₦airaland Forum

Hmm

Op, you can't get any other deal that beats this.

Airtel rocks. It's fast and the data consumption is normal.

Onitsha has the worst PM10 levels in the world, according to a new WHO report.

Four of the worst cities in the world for air pollution are in Nigeria, according to data released by the World Health Organization (WHO).

Onitsha a city few outside Nigeria will have heard of -- has the undignified honor of being labeled the world's most polluted city for air quality, when measuring small particulate matter concentration (PM10).

The report also included Aba, Kaduna and Umuahia among the most polluted cities in the world.

This is so embarrassing, considering the fact that Onitsha is the most booming commercial city in Nigeria, Africa's largest economy.

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/05/31/africa/nigeria-cities-pollution/index.html?iid=ob_homepage_showcase_pool

Onitsha has the worst PM10 levels in the world, according to a new WHO report.

Four of the worst cities in the world for air pollution are in Nigeria, according to data released by the World Health Organization (WHO).

Onitsha a city few outside Nigeria will have heard of -- has the undignified honor of being labeled the world's most polluted city for air quality, when measuring small particulate matter concentration (PM10).

The report also included Aba, Kaduna among the most polluted cities in the world.

This is so embarrassing, considering the fact that Onitsha is the most booming commercial city in Nigeria, Africa's largest economy.

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/05/31/africa/nigeria-cities-pollution/index.html?iid=ob_homepage_showcase_pool

Association of Witches... Dares PHCN... Tafa LGA, Niger State...
Come cut light na!!!
Broad Day Witchcraft
Them Born You Reach

https://mobile.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10206007496336026&id=1519405970&refid=28&_ft_=qid.6283951331504346832%3Amf_story_key.4343900830058794050&__tn__=C

Z$100,000,000,000,000 = $0.40USD

Since 2009, Zimbabwe has used other currencies in lieu of its own, which it abandoned after hyperinflation of more than 5,000 percent made it essentially worthless.
This system of using multiple currencies has led to a deflation rate of -2.3%, according to Zimbabwe's bank governor.
"We changed to a multiple currency system to stabilize, and inflation went down to 0% and it was magic," said the Zimbabwe Reserve Bank Governor, John Mangudya.

Zimbabwe used to have a Z$100,000,000,000,000 note - one trillion Zimbabwean dollars.
The note, along with previous hyper-inflated denominations including Z$10,000,000,000,000 (ten trillion) and Z$1,000,000,000,000 (one trillion), could be exchanged for U.S. dollars until the end of April 2016, but it was worth only about $0.40. It is fetching significant higher prices as a novelty item on websites such as eBay.
When inflation hit 230,000,000 percent in 2009 , the country's reserve bank -- infamous for its inability to contain sky-high hyperinflation -- declared the U.S. dollar as its official currency.
From excessively high inflation to -2.3% deflation, Mangudya remembers the tough years vividly. "It was so traumatizing," he admitted. "We didn't have the tools to fight the monster that the economy was facing at the time."
The country had to keep printing money. Prices would change by the minute, causing stress revolving around the fluctuations, one of the devastating effects of hyperinflation.
"It was terrible. You'd have to pay for your coffee before you drank it because if you waited the cost would rise within minutes," said businessman Shingi Minyeza, chairman of Vinal Investments.
Dollar is king
The U.S. dollar is the preferred currency in Zimbabwe at present, but others are welcome.
"We are saying that since you can import/export goods from South Africa you can use the rand. If you are importing from China you can use the yuan. The U.S. dollar is our reserve currency," explained Mangudya.

Zimbabwe seems years away from reintroducing its own currency. In the meantime, it has coins called bonds. For each coin in circulation there's an equivalent U.S. dollar coin held in reserves.
There are over $13 million worth of these coins in the country, CNN was told, but recently banks have started printing "bond notes" representing U.S. dollar values up to $20, due to a cash shortage.
Seems the more things change, the more that going back to the basics is the only option.

Source:
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/05/06/africa/zimbabwe-trillion-dollar-note/index.html?iid=ob_homepage_showcase_pool

Since 2009, Zimbabwe has used other currencies in lieu of its own, which it abandoned after hyperinflation of more than 5,000 percent made it essentially worthless.
This system of using multiple currencies has led to a deflation rate of -2.3%, according to Zimbabwe's bank governor.
"We changed to a multiple currency system to stabilize, and inflation went down to 0% and it was magic," said the Zimbabwe Reserve Bank Governor, John Mangudya.

Zimbabwe used to have a Z$100,000,000,000,000 note - one trillion Zimbabwean dollars.
The note, along with previous hyper-inflated denominations including Z$10,000,000,000,000 (ten trillion) and Z$1,000,000,000,000 (one trillion), could be exchanged for U.S. dollars until the end of April 2016, but it was worth only about $0.40. It is fetching significant higher prices as a novelty item on websites such as eBay.
When inflation hit 230,000,000 percent in 2009 , the country's reserve bank -- infamous for its inability to contain sky-high hyperinflation -- declared the U.S. dollar as its official currency.
From excessively high inflation to -2.3% deflation, Mangudya remembers the tough years vividly. "It was so traumatizing," he admitted. "We didn't have the tools to fight the monster that the economy was facing at the time."
The country had to keep printing money. Prices would change by the minute, causing stress revolving around the fluctuations, one of the devastating effects of hyperinflation.
"It was terrible. You'd have to pay for your coffee before you drank it because if you waited the cost would rise within minutes," said businessman Shingi Minyeza, chairman of Vinal Investments.
Dollar is king
The U.S. dollar is the preferred currency in Zimbabwe at present, but others are welcome.
"We are saying that since you can import/export goods from South Africa you can use the rand. If you are importing from China you can use the yuan. The U.S. dollar is our reserve currency," explained Mangudya.


Implementing cashless systems in Africa 04:03
Zimbabwe seems years away from reintroducing its own currency. In the meantime, it has coins called bonds. For each coin in circulation there's an equivalent U.S. dollar coin held in reserves.
There are over $13 million worth of these coins in the country, CNN was told, but recently banks have started printing "bond notes" representing U.S. dollar values up to $20, due to a cash shortage.
Seems the more things change, the more that going back to the basics is the only option.

Source:
http://edition.cnn.com/2016/05/06/africa/zimbabwe-trillion-dollar-note/index.html?iid=ob_homepage_showcase_pool

Z$100,000,000,000,000 = $0.40USD

President Muhammadu Buhari will visit China on Sunday to sign a loan infrastructure projects deal worth about $2 billion and the low interest loan is to be deployed to finance the N3 trillion deficit in the budget.

Though the exact figure for the loan is yet to be confirmed, the Presidency and Chinese foreign affairs ministry confirmed the visit.

The President’s Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Mr Femi Adesina, who disclosed this in an interview with Reuters, said: “I can’t tell you how much until the day the loan will be signed. Both countries will also be signing some bilateral agreements to strengthen their relationship, that is all I can say for now.”

In February, financial and government sources said the loan could be as high as $2 billion, but officials have not provided an update since then.

The federal government had said it would raise about $5 billion abroad to cover part of its 2016 budget deficit which could be as high as N3 trillion.

Lu Kang, Chinese foreign ministry spokesman, had earlier said Buhari would visit China from April 11-15 to sign “cooperation agreements” and attend a business forum.

When the Finance Minister, Kemi Adeosun, visited China in February, a Nigerian government official said the loan deal she agreed on could be signed by President Muhammadu Buhari.

“The Finance Minister, in the company of the Central Bank Governor, is scheduled to be in China sometime next week to conclude negotiations on the $2 billion loan,” the official said.

Adeosun had earlier said the country was looking for a loan with about 1.5 per cent interest.

“We looked at our debt profile and we recognised that one big problem is interest rate. So, we are going to try and borrow as far as possible externally.

“We are borrowing at the cheapest rates. So, multilateral loans are the cheapest. If someone offers me 1.5 per cent over 20 years, I think I should take it.

“That is why we are going to the multilateral agencies first and, thereafter, concessional borrowing and also tap into the Eurobond market,” the minister had said at a KPMG forum in Lagos.

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/04/buhari-heads-to-china-to-borrow-2bn/

Daddy, wish u were still here with me. I'm sorry for all the wrongs I've ever done to you.

Even if you were a crippled, blind, ugly, grumpy, grouchy father, I wouldn't mind.

Even if you didn't train me in school,
Even if you beat me all the time,
Even if you neglected me,
Even if you hated me...
I wouldn't mind.

Because I am grateful to God that through you, I came into this world.

Thank you father for just being my father.
I'll always miss you.

My wife has taken my April Fool joke very seriously. I decided to pull a prank on her today, and it's almost going out of hand.

It was in the morning, and I knew she wasnt yet aware that it was April Fool's Day. So I told her that I had a confession to make to her and it has been eating me up. I told her that I have a child outside our marriage. That I have a son who's around 12yrs now. That I had the child before I met her, but I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to lose her.

She was speechless but I could tell she was shaken. She searched my eyes to know if I was joking, but I maintained my seriousness. She calmy started asking me questions to know whether I was being real, but I was already prepared for any question. By the time she was through interrogating me, she has already broken down in tears.

I continued with the joke, and I told her to please forgive me for not telling her all this while. She believed everything I said and by the time I told her it was April Fool's joke, it was too late. She was inconsolable, and she told me it wasn't a joke, cos she knew I was telling her the truth. She said she had always had the feeling that I had a child cos she saw it in her dream before we got married.

To cut it short, right now she's mad at me...and she has threatened to leave with my 6 months old daughter and abandon our 3 yr-old marriage. She has already called her mum and sister and narrated the whole thing.

So, guys plz I need una help right now. My own April Fool prank has gone all wrong. What can I do?

Xhaka:
Well, thats what i use and i love it.

Don't mind him, he's just envious. :-p

ojnnaco:
Thanks .. its for those using techno c8. who cares to buy dat

So which one did you care to buy?

I got a new Tecno Camon C8 and I found out that I was unable to access messages in my SIM card. Each time I tried doing that, I would get a prompt saying "SIM card close".

But today I found the solution to the problem and I thought I would share it for those having similar issue:

1. I went to 'DATA CONNECTION' (simply slide the phone screen from top to bottom to see it).
2. I switched from the original SIM/NETWORK I used to browse to the other SIM/NETWORK. (Normally, it would ask you to wait for about 10 secs).
3. After the switching, I then went to MESSAGE-->MESSAGE SETTINGS-->TEXT MESSAGES (SMS)-->MANAGE SIM CARD MESSAGES.
And ta-daaa, it has started working. You can then switch back the data connection to the preferred SIM/NETWORK.

I hope this will work for my fellow Camon C8 users having similar issues. Plz don't fail to tell us whether it worked or not.

Thanks and Happy Easter Celebration.

I love this. Awesome!

So I'm talking to you and you're breathing. In fact it's over.

Kelklein:
I could tell..a woman wrote this article

it's written all over it

Really? How can u be so sure?

One of the serious concerns of most guys is smelly genital areas. You know, guys don't always maintain the same level of cleanliness like most ladies. They could sweat the whole day and still go to bed without bathing. They could wear a boxer for days without washing it. This would inevitably attract lice and other microbes which find the damp and dirty genital areas most favourable to breed. The outcome of these microbial activities is a foul, pungent, dead-fish-like stench oozing from the genital areas. I mean, this is so serious that you can perceive the foul smell at a mile from most guys, especially when they are only on boxers.

Smelly genital area is a real problem. It not only hurts a guy's ego and makes him lose confidence, but it can also be a big turn-off for his partner who mistakenly gets a whiff of the odour. For guys with this problem, they would notice greyish colourations around the genital areas, and whitish coatings on pubic hairs beneath/around the balls. These are the source of the foul odour.

Now let's get down to business. Steps to get rid of foul smells on your genital areas:

1. Shave your pubic hairs completely and thoroughly, including anal hairs. This is to clear the breeding ground for the smell-producing organisms. Make sure to discard the used shaving stick or razor, and also clear up the hairs.

2. Bathe or wash your private parts. Any medicated or mild toilet soap can serve. Do not use sponge, it'll only cause irritation and rash.

3. Dry with a clean towel. Do not wipe, just dab the whole area.

4. Apply any anti-fungal cream, e.g Visita Plus cream, all round your privates including the crack of your butts. This will fight off the microbes.

5. Try allowing some air to your private areas occasionally, especially after bathing or when you have sweated. This will aerate your privates and discourage the growth of these anaerobic microorganisms.

6. Repeat Steps 2-5 at least twice a day.

Note that it is best to always have your private parts well-shaved to prevent re-occurrence of microbial growth, but for the sake of not looking like a 5 yr-old, you can leave some hair at the top base of your stick. But be sure to always shave round and beneath your privates.

This has worked for my friend who had the same problem, and I thought I should share with you guys.

Thanks and be blessed.

This New Plane Can Detach Entire Cabin In Case Of Emergency & Save All The Passengers

Engineers have revealed a radical new way to save plane passengers in the event of an emergency. The design shows an aircraft with a detachable cabin that releases in emergency situations.

During take-off, landing or flight, the redesigned cabin detaches from the plane and safely lands on the ground or water – saving everyone's lives on board.

"Surviving in a plane crash is possible," Vladimir Tatarenko, aviation engineer, told LiveLeak.

"While aircraft engineers all over the world are trying to make planes safer, they can do nothing about the human factor."

Tatarenko is that mastermind behind the design and has been working on this project for the past three years, according to The Independent.

Parachutes are attached to the roof of the cabin that are instantly released when the cabin is detached from the plane.

There are also rubber tubes that inflate to cushion the impact to the ground or water, and the inflatable devices seem strong enough to keep the cabin afloat.

"The existing technology of using of Kevlar and carbon composites for fuselage, wings, flaps, spoilers, ailerons, tail will be used during the design," Tatarenko explained.

"It allows to partly compensate the weight of parachute system."

The design includes a storage space that holds passengers' luggage underneath the cabin, so there won't be any lost luggage during the flight if it has to detach.

The Independent explained viewers of the demonstration video have mixed reactions to the innovation.

Some are all for the cutting-edge design, while others are skeptical and feel it's impractical.

A few reservations pertain to the potential impact on the rest of the plane, the possibility of the detached cabin smashing into mountains or buildings and the escape plan for the pilots.

One person commented: "Of the millions of flights a year, less than 500 people die worldwide a year from plane crashes. Seems not terribly cost effective."

While another had concerns too: "This whole concept dramatically weakens the airframe because now you have joints and fittings to connect a fuselage and a body together where once you had a whole fuselage to reinforce the airframe."

However, a questionnaire conducted by the inventor found that 95% of people would be willing to buy a more expensive ticket in order to use such a safety system.

This isn't the first design the Ukrainian engineer has produced.

Last year, Tatarenko received patents for an invention with an escape capsule system that would rescue passengers on board.

The capsule would be released within seconds of the emergency situation and through a rear hatch at the tail end of the plane.

Once ejected, two gunpowder engines will take control to slow down the speed and then a parachute will pop out.

But, according to Tatarenko, it could not save lives if the plane explodes inside or comes under a rocket attack.

Source: http://naijapicks.com/posts/1061/this-new-plane-can-detach-entire-cabin-in-case-of-emergency-save-all-the-passengers

Nigerian economy, going from worse to worst

4 & 6

Doctors from Vancouver General Hospital announced last week Friday that they have performed the first ever horse p*nis transplant on a 32-year-old male. During the 14 hour surgery, doctors removed a man's p*"nis and replaced it with one from a horse. The first ever cosmetic reconstructive surgery was not due to any health issues, but a choice the man made to "increase the excitement in his love life."

"I come from Asian descent, which left my manhood lacking my entire life," said Phuy Su Ling. "Women don't take me serious. When we get to the point of intimacy, they always laugh. Well they won't be laughing anymore will they? I got 18 inches on them now, and it's as wide as my wrist. Come get it bitches!"

Doctors say that Ling will be in the hospital for an additional nine days to make sure that his body does not reject his new part. After his three-month recovery, Ling will be able to "use his gigantic instrument any way he sees fit." Until then, Ling says he is phoning every girl that ever laughed at him and setting updates for this upcoming April. "I'm not wasting any time," Said Ling. "And I'm not giving any warnings. I can't wait to put this bad baby to work. Who will be laughing now bitches!"

Doctors have tried to discourage Ling from using his newly acquired manhood as revenge. However, they say it was just their job to surgically attach it. Whatever he does afterwards is none of their business.

Source:
http://naijapicks.com/posts/985/canadian-man-receives-the-first-successful-horse-penis-transplant

Don't sack her yet. What you should do is to call a general meeting in your office, and warn everyone including her,of the consequences of misbehaving at your workplace. Use the opportunity to stamp your authority and remind them that you're the boss and that any disrespect or misbehavior will no longer be tolerated and will be met with immediate sack.

Then if she continues such behavior, you'll be justified for sacking her.

johnydon22:
[size=16]This is an absolutely wrong analogy. . . very stupendous as it is preposterous. . . Belief in a thing does not in anyway equate mental disorder. . . I totally disagree with this [/size]

It is not really about the belief in the thing that matters, but the effect of that belief on your reasoning capacity and your behaviour.

bi0nics:
Op too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought

If you really bothered to read through the whole text, you'll understand that what the association mean is that where a belief in a deity severely affects the way you think or behave and deprives you of the use of common sense in situations where you need to reason independently, then you are mentally deranged.

American Psychological Association To Classify Belief in God As a Mental Illness
.
.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), a strong and passionate belief in a deity or higher power, to the point where it impairs one’s ability to make conscientious decisions about common sense matters, will now be classified as a mental illness.

The controversial ruling comes after a 5-year study by the APA showed devoutly religious people often suffered from anxiety, emotional distress, hallucinations, and paranoia. The study stated that those who perceived God as punitive was directly related to their poorer health, while those who viewed God as benevolent did not suffer as many mental problems. The religious views of both groups often resulted in them being disconnected from reality.

Dr. Lillian Andrews, professor of psychology, stated, “Every year thousands of people die after refusing life-saving treatment on religious grounds. Even when being told ‘you will die without this treatment’ patients reject the idea and believe that their God will still save them. Those lives could be saved simply by classifying those people as mentally unfit for decision making.”

“Jehovah Witnesses for instance,” Dr. Andrews continued, “will not accept blood under any circumstance. They would rather die than to receive life-saving donor blood. Many religious people believe they have “healing power” in their hands. Many believe they can communicate with God using a personal language, which is unknown to anyone but the communicator and God (known as speaking in tongues). Many often tell of seeing spirits. All of these are signs of a mental break and a loss of touch with reality. Religious belief and the angry God phenomenon has caused chaos, destruction, death, and wars for centuries. The time for evolving into a modern society and classifying these archaic beliefs as a mental disorder has been long overdue. This is the first of many steps to a positive direction.”

With the new classification, the APA will lobby to introduce legislation which would allow doctors the right to force life-saving treatment on those who refuse it for spiritual reasons on the grounds that they are mentally incapable of making decisions about their health.

The American Psychological Association says more information about the study and the new classification will be made available to the public in their upcoming journal (which is expected to be release in early August).

Source: http://www.thenewsnerd.com/health/apa-to-classify-belief-in-god-as-a-mental-illness/

modelmike7:
To the dust we all return. No special corpse i believe!

You're right...but what's your stand in the issue?

Paulpaulpaul:
If it is state burial, politicians first, if not, family members

Thanks. It is not a state burial, it's merely a private individual's burial.

I need ur fast suggestions plz guys.
.
.
While arranging the tributes in a funeral brochure, is it proper for a Government Official's tribute to come first before those of the immediate family members of the deceased??

I am being forced to believe that by order of protocol, government's tribute must come first before any other's in a funeral brochure. Is this right? Plz I need quick response from you guys. Thanks.

5 QUOTES FROM OBAMA’S VIDEO MESSAGE THAT APC IS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH


1. “Nigeria is a great nation and you can be proud of the progress you’ve made”

Obama acknowledges that Nigeria has made tremendous progress that we can be proud of. Listening to the APC’s message you will think that Nigeria is not Working and Obama rightly points that we have made progress under this present GEJ;s administration.
Who would want uncertain change over the chance to keep progressing?

2. “Together, you won your independence, emerged from military rule, and strengthened democratic institutions.”

Read the quote again. Obama says Military rule is a no-going back to. Do we want to go back to being bound by the shackles of dictatorship? Buhari says he is a “reformed democrat” but as we all know a Leopard doesn’t change its spot.

3. “You’ve worked hard to improve the lives of your families and to build the largest economy in Africa.”

Contrary to all the lies that APC has been trying to sell. Our economy is progressing and it did not become the largest economy in Africa by chance but by good policies of the Jonathan’s administration. Obama states the fact whilst acknowledging livelihoods improvement and thereby makes APC the liars.

4. “Violence has no place in democratic elections—and that they will not incite, support or engage in any kind of violence—before, during, or after the votes are counted”

When violence is mentioned, Nigerians cannot extricate General Buhari from his famous statement before the 2011 elections and his famous silence after his supporters went wild. The Blood of Dog and baboon statement recently made concerning the 2015 elections still echoes deeply. APC is threatening a parallel government also… Obama’s speech is a clear warning against that.

5. “Boko Haram wants to destroy Nigeria and all that you have worked to build. By casting your ballot, you can help secure your nation’s progress”

Secure your Nations progress. Don’t Change your fortunes.
Obama’s call on Nigeria to secure our progress is like a call to retain President Jonathan under whose Presidency this progress has been achieved. As it is ill advised to change a commander in chief during war, Nigerians must fight together and eliminate Boko haram with the Armed forces who are presently winning the war and sustain this momentum.
Obama also said ”in this task of advancing the security, prosperity, and human rights of all Nigerians, you will continue to have a friend and partner in the United States of America.”
Lest we forget, Nigerians are still much aware of the flagrant violation of Human Rights under General Buhari including rupture diplomatic relations with the UK and others.

What other areas of this President Obama’s speech do you think APC is uncomfortable with?
.
Source: http://www.thewhistleng.com/5-quotes-from-obamas-video-message-that-apc-is-very-uncomfortable-with/