₦airaland Forum

Pals on nairaland, lol, I shouldn't be writing stuffs like this on nairaland, just can't hold myself from writing it. First, we have Michael Ogah, the writer. Lol, I remember when we all became friends those days, that should be around 2009. We would write poems together. He would start a poem and ask others to complete it. Then we were still young and trying out our writing prowess.

I would sit and watch them write. After that I would write mine. None ever LIKED it. I was not moved o. Instead I would keep telling myself I am the best in what I do. I looked up to AJ Kamara then. He was the perfect poet. He could write poems on even shit. Damn, he was so good. All my dream then was to do a collabo with him. My dream came to past when I did one with him. It was mind blowing seeing me and my mentor on stage. Lol, I never told him he inspired me though. I believe he just found out.

Then came Arnold Romeo. Even though he was my good friend, his truths were bitter. Lol, I hate getting involved in fights but he inspired me. Damn, you could use your mouth to beat someone without actually touching that person. If someone abuses you, you could use his words to your advantage. Well, you need to be strong if not you will get your arse whooped.

Pastor Wale Adenuga of Christ Embassy Kano too was an inspiration. He inspired me with his stories while preach. How he could do things using faith. His journey through life and stuffs. I remember doing a poem for him ob his birthday. Lol, the greatest sensation was having to performed the poem with him watching. He even told me to come for the birthday celebration in Church 1 where I performed again. Men, I just knew I was going to perform in front of wider audiences. It doesn't have to be poems, I also know how to give spirit lifting speeches.

Men, Farida Adamu came with her own. Even though I don't comment on her write_ups, I am always left awe-struck. Kai, the babe can write and if there are people I would love to meet, it should be Farida Adamu and Michael Ogah. Me, I want to do a song with the ankara boy even if it is to hum and then at intervals shout my name "FoxyB". Let him do all the singing.

You know you are there when your mates inspire you and you in turn inspire your mates, generation below you and old men and women. I can still picture old peeps telling me I am an inspiration to them. Well, God is my inspiration. No drugs in my system when I want to be at my finest. I aint saying don't smoke weed, that stuff is the shittest, don't just put all your eggs in that basket. Madness have a way of being sweet when it starts.


Thanks and happy sunday pals. I hope you find your inspirations too. Inspire people to greatness and you would be termed a great man too.


Bye...
Attai (Ochi Idoma)

*Ladies please be honorable enough to ignore this article. If you can’t bring yourself to click past this page, just make sure your boyfriend never sees it. It will give him good ideas. Good ideas on how to dump you. I am not your friend, neither do I miss being your friend.


Breaking up with a Nigerian chick isn’t exactly like eating Garri and Yoruba stew. It is hard. More like drinking Alomo and chewing bitter Kola. Or sipping swollen Garri and stale fish.

Nigerian girls are not easy to breakup with. They will scream, shout, kick, bite, and pluck off your nuts as some sort of revenge. Your cherished nuts will be yanked off, ushering you into nut-less life of no chicks. It’s pretty depressing.

So as you begin to read this article with enough thanksgiving to embarrass Heaven, and enjoyment to make the President green with envy, lock your door with a key, to prevent ‘her’ from casually walking in and discovering that her darling boyfriend isn’t so darling after all. She’ll begin to scream and yank….at your precious nuts!

If she’s already in the house, quietly switch into stealth mode; crawl under your bed, or into the toilet. That will be your classroom for the next couple of minutes as I teach you how to breakup with your Nigerian chick.



#1. Never Break Up In Your House

Break up with her in your house? That’s so 1992 son!

Where have you been my child? Only your father and the fathers before him still thought it was cool to give their girlfriends, and the old girlfriends before them, the sad news in their mud and thatched houses. No harm there. Their houses were cheap.

This is the 21 century, and mankind has advanced to space travel and all that needless B.S about you having to move with the new efficient breakup trend. Take her on a date, to a very public place, where armed police guards are present. They may be the difference between you walking away, (whole, single and searching). Or stretchered off as a eunuch.

Or take her somewhere where she can cry or scream, or slap you, but not kill you. Don’t do it at home. In fact, never do it at home. She will become hysterical grab your favorite mug and try to kill you with one good throw. Off course you’ll duck, but your Plasma TV won’t duck. It will explode from the crash. So would your iPhone, expensive Italian chandelier, and the flower vase your mother got you for Christmas.

Take her out to break up.



#2. Use The Passive-Aggressive Move

You have to have a format if you would ever break up with a Nigerian chick, without making a mess of the affair. It’s not cool business, and you’re not supposed to come out the affair smiling ad hitting the bar for a celebratory round of drinks. If you breakup with a good woman, and you hit the Hennessy corner, then you’re an animal who’s conscience was served up as lunch to the minions of hell, or used as butt wipe by some demon.

Breaking up with a Nigerian chick shouldn’t involve violence, and screams,wet handkerchiefs, and the use of a bazooka. No, my child. You have to keep it simple. That’s the new cool. The simple breakup. This is how you do it.

While you’re on that date at an expensive restaurant (it has to be an expensive restaurant. It’s bad manners to breakup in a local joint while sipping on a bottle of ‘Shinap and ogogoro’.), switch into the emotional zone, and tell her your mind. Appear sad while you’re at it. That way she becomes less selfish, seeing that her soon-to-be-ex baby is in pain.

Tell her calmly why you should breakup, and how poorly you feel about ending the romantic affection. Don’t forget to mention how you’ll miss the way you scream her name before you climax. And then cry.

You heard me right, I said cry. That way the both of you will cry, and nod heads and console yourself, and everyone leaves satisfied that they’re doing the right thing.

You have to wait for two days before you rush to the bar for celebratory Henessy. And be sure to drink all night.

NB: The last line was sponsored by the Nigerian Association for the Celebratory Drinking of Hennessy after Breakups (NACDHeB).

This is the only approved method for breaking up with a Nigerian chick. Any other way you’ve heard from your friends, you’re shameless father, concerned Aunt, or learned from watching Ramsey Noah and Jim Iyke break Tonto Dikeh’s heart is from Hell.

This is the once, true, and future way. Amen.


http://pulse.ng/life_and_style/how-to-breakup-with-your-nigerian-girlfriend-id2564589.html?utm_campaign=break-up&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook

[quote author=Foxy_Flow]There was a loud explosion right now and we all ran outside, ....


Details coming shortly

Edited:

I was in the office doing some stuffs, okay, I was cutting names to paste on some envelopes which contains letters that are going out. I had finished cutting it and had even started pasting them when there was a loud explosion.

I needed nobody to tell me to sit still. Since I was in Kano when BH attacked, I know it is better sitting put and checking out the situation before venturing outside. This I did for some time. Now, I went downstairs and took the first two pictures from the safety of the office complex. I don't know if it was a bomb attack so I no wan just waka go kpai for nothing.

I ran back upstairs and started the topic immediately since I wanted information. I was restless as nobody was commenting. I just ran back down and proceeded to walk to the scene of the explosion. There, right in front of me was Conoil Petrol Station burning. It was really crazy as a large crowd had gathered. Men, My liver no allow me pass those tough looking military guys.

Men, na here I go stop o. I get the video and some gossips on how the whole thing carry start. Me just dey pray make people no too die.

Another thing, Fire Service take like 30 minutes before them come. Kai, NNPC just dey control the fire make e no enter their building.


Sorry guys, I did not use English here. I want everybody make them understand and moreover, I be tatafo journalist.....[/quote]

More

[quote author=Foxy_Flow]There was a loud explosion right now and we all ran outside, ....


Details coming shortly[/quote]Fire fighters are passing to the site right now. I will post pictures safely taken from my office. If you have any, please post. I will also try and reach the place.

There was a loud explosion right now and we all ran outside, ....


Details coming shortly

Edited:

I was in the office doing some stuffs, okay, I was cutting names to paste on some envelopes which contains letters that are going out. I had finished cutting it and had even started pasting them when there was a loud explosion.

I needed nobody to tell me to sit still. Since I was in Kano when BH attacked, I know it is better sitting put and checking out the situation before venturing outside. This I did for some time. Now, I went downstairs and took the first two pictures from the safety of the office complex. I don't know if it was a bomb attack so I no wan just waka go kpai for nothing.

I ran back upstairs and started the topic immediately since I wanted information. I was restless as nobody was commenting. I just ran back down and proceeded to walk to the scene of the explosion. There, right in front of me was Conoil Petrol Station burning. It was really crazy as a large crowd had gathered. Men, My liver no allow me pass those tough looking military guys.

Men, na here I go stop o. I get the video and some gossips on how the whole thing carry start. Me just dey pray make people no too die.

Another thing, Fire Service take like 30 minutes before them come. Kai, NNPC just dey control the fire make e no enter their building.


Sorry guys, I did not use English here. I want everybody make them understand and moreover, I be tatafo journalist.....