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[quote author=Mynd_44]It was not me[/quote]

I say make I hail...

martha: Na u know wetin dey bite u

So you dey follow the story? Oya, contribute oo

WHY BLAME GOD? (off topic)


I wanted to skip writing something today but I just couldn't, not with the way my mind is right now. Don't get it wrong, I am not in a mind battle. No way. I am just in a mind battle concerning what other people think and how they behave when they encounter problems. I have seen most of them and right now, this words are for them.

I have done things in my life, though I am not old, I can say I have seen things. Things that would make your blood stick together and stop its journey to your heart. Yeah, I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. In fact, I should be named Clint Eastwood.

I have also had friends. True friends, fake ones and friends who are just there. Friendship is a wonderful experience because it gives you something to look forward to daily and something to think about in the night when going to bed. Well, I have had them all but I am not talking about my friends here. I am talking about their stance and hearts.

We all encounter problems in this life, we all have many questions we would like to ask. We all want one thing or another which is not forthcoming. Some of us still cling to that thing called "hope" while others feel it is baseless living.

What do you live for when nothing seems to be working for you? Why do you go ahead and try new things when you know you will end up failing? Why do you do evil and expect good things to follow you? Why would you disobey your parents and at the end seek their blessings? Why would you ever blame God?

Why should we blame God? I still can't fix my mind on that aspect. Why would I wanna blame God? He gave me a life, allowed me to live it as I please and when I end up destroying myself, I turn round and start blaming God? The very nature of human. Seeking for who to put the blame on. If you put that blame on your mother, father, brother or friend, the person will be there to answer you or point out your error. So why don't you just put it on God?

Put your trust on him for he cares for you. Does blaming God sounds like putting your trust on him? NOPE!!! Now people take the extra-ordinary step of saying God doesn't exist and then put the whole happening in this world on some cosmic forces. Now I laugh at this part. Why would I say God doesn't exist, that some energies exploded and earth took form?

Why would I want to study ancient texts that points out that humans originated from apes? If really we did originate from monkeys per say and the monkeys are our closest cousins, why aren't we strong? A chimpanzee has the strength of 10 men combined. Haaaaaa... We evolved from them for crying out loud. We are supposed to be SUPER-APES. That's just the truth but here we are, saying God doesn't exist.

Because you can't feel, smell or push something doesn't mean that that thing doesn't exist. If you can believe that voodoo (black fetish juju) can harm you, why can't you believe that some super power can save you?

Who is deceiving who? You or the thoughts you have that runs through your mind? Why do you keep saying "O God!!" when ever you encounter something. And why do you always have the desire to pray when the going gets tough?

Humans are really the architects of their wahalas so they should start learning to take blames for things that befalls them. There is a reason behind every action you know....

Thanks....

Make una comment na... E no fair o

ATTAI THE WARRIOR

There are times I wonder why things are the way they are. You live in a country where you have to succeed by knowing someone. If you like, sabi book, if you no get friends for school, your chances of making am dey small. Well, that is not the reason why I am writing this.

I am fat. Lol, it's kinda painful but who cause am? When I dey flex all those junks in the name of enjoyment, who buy them for me? When I allow babe wey like me make she dey range me beef peppersoup, I remember?

I remember when I was but a child, slim, a little big-headed and innocent. I could talk the house down. Where I got the energy to, I just can't tell. I felt I could mouth-wash anyone. No fighting, just yabbing. At the end I met my sister. Lol, she was fatttt. You know when girls those days are allowed to take over the kitchen. She would eat like 3 times from the pot of food before it cooks, then she would still serve hers. I was jealous wo.

Well, since I am talking of childhood fights, I will say this one. Though it is personal, but memories can be fun when re-lived.

I had fallen on the bad side of my sister who I know I could beat in a matter of seconds. Talk about twinses (lol) and the male twin being stronger na. So that day, it was in the evening and I was like 12 years old. I had gone out to play football, stayed out so long and then decided to return home. I got into the house, dad had moved to a bigger one, went straight to the kitchen. I looked around, my plate was nowhere.

"Iyeeeee"

I screamed her name from the kitchen.

"Na wetin"

She was standing behind me. It all looked like a setup if not how come did she suddenly appear. Even if she was supergirl, I should have heard the sound of moving wind.

"Where my food?"

It was my stomach talking. I was famished.

"No food for you. Baba say make you bath."

She replied. My stomach squirmed in agony, making this putuputu sound. The hunger had driven me over the edge.

"Iye abeg na. If I chop I go go bath"

I begged her. For where, she no bulge.

"Na so you don dey talk for the past one week."

She replied. I did a mental calculation. Damn, I had not entered into the bathroom for a week. Even when I wanted to stool, I always headed to the bush.

"No vex na. I go bath"

I pleaded.

"No o. Na so you go spray perf go outside dey form big boy. You no dey look your friends?"

Men, now that is what I call an insult. Comparism.

"Shut up. Because I dey beg you for food?"

I was provoked.

"Na true truth dey bitter na. Hunn, see as you dey smell self. Common cloth you no sabi wash."

Kai, that was totally unacceptable. I advanced menacingly towards her. I felt she would run since I could easily beat her. I thought wrong. She stood in my front, pushed her chest out and tried to stand on her toes so she could be taller than me. I be damned.

"Touch me na. Na only to beat woman you sabi."

Okay, I slapped her. That was a mistake wo. You can't hold it on me. I wasn't even a teenager yet.

Her reaction was swift and I believe she surprised even herself. Two clean slaps landed on my cheeks. She turned round and fled into the house locking the door behind her. I was dazed, perplexed, flabbergasted, mesmerised, disorientated, discombobulated and obahiagbonised. After 30 seconds I started functioning normal. I rushed to the door, banged furiously but she remained inside taunting me.

"Wetin you dey do there?"

It was dad. I did not hear the sound of his car. I was forced to use cold water in that harmattan. My food? I ate it the next day as I slept hungry that night. Since then, nobody told me to take my bath before I dash into the bathroom.

As for my sister, her husband will pay for the slap. The bride-price wey I go call eh, it will cover all medical expenses and hunger induced trauma I faced that day.





The end.

Make una contribute na...

Tonia500: Foxy

My beer na sure-banker na... If you fall hands eh...

I been start the sister of this story for sexuality section but I get ish with the moderator so I dey go rectify am. Chill, I dey my story-telling mode.

princesa: You just have a way with words and humour that i love

bookmarked.

Princesa! Princesa!! Princesa!!!

I know you've always loved me and me too I dey consider your proposal. This one you are bookmarking that space, you have to contribute o...

Anyway, my father is still receiving palmwine from ladies, na who bring the manyest barrels na she go win my hand in marriage.

Sha, help contribute to the topic..

CRAZY CHILDHOOD RUMOURS

It is really a crazy world we live in. You know how crazy a world can get? Well, Julius Berger staff trailer caught fire yesterday. That aint even the crazy shit. I was there life and direct and there was no casualty, but I was surprised to hear this morning that people died in the inferno. Which people if you may ask?

That's how fast rumours can get and before you know it, you have lost the original news. Well, since I am the source abi na eye witness, I just told you, nobody died in the fire unless proven otherwise. I also have the video to back up my claim.

Talking about rumours, when growing up, we heard lots and lots of them. The fact is some of us still believe what we heard while we were but little children. My mother had to stop me from peeing on the bed by saying each time I pee, my penis shrinks a little until it completely disappears, then I won't be able to piss again. Kai, as a child, I already knew the worth of my johnson so I allowed matter to rest on Mathias.

Rumour number two. If you go to the market, don't bend down and look under your leg. If you do, you will see spirits walking on air and one would knock you making you go mad completely. I sure did that, however, I was careful not to be seen by an elder. That is the curiosity and care-free attitude of a child.

Rumour number three. Try to stay close to the wall when taking a bath in the rain. Should there be a clap of thunder, it would haul you into the air and ehm, na there the rumour stop, e no complete.

Rumour number four. When eating, do not place your hand on the ground especially if you are sitting on the ground. If you do so, all the food eaten would find its way into the ground. Well, I later discovered that it was a hoax as my parents don't want me sitting down badly.

Rumour number five. Do not talk while eating. I was shouted on countless of times by my father. Kai, I believed pepper would enter into my head. How then would you explain my father eating and laughing with his friends with his mouth filled with food? Parents sha....

Rumour number six. Never go close to a woman. Okay, this is not a rumour. I was told this one after I had my first wet dream. Kai, this is something I would never believe. Well, if my dad could get close to my mum countless times and she did not start dropping babies like rain, why would I not get close to that girl? Ehm... No point going personal.

Well, so many things our parents told us back then only for us to grow up and discover they were only bluffing. Sitting and typing this right now, I came to the conclusion that there was a reason for those "parental lies", they did it to protect us. And we are going to do it too to our children when the time comes. Well, I am gonna tell my kids the dangers of having sex too early.

Parents!!! Don't you just love them....

Bye..

I grew up in a neighbourhood where igbo was and is still being sold. Now, I was not a smoker, in fact, I hated anything that had to do with smoking but I could drink like a fish. I want to delve into memory lane....


MY FIRST FIGHT

It was a cold morning on the 3rd of January, 1997. I could not be more than (guess) and so felt the effect of the cold down to my spine. I had tried my best to keep warm by tucking my hands into my clothes and folding them around me. This is the norm with children who grew up in ghettos. You see us mostly close to where they sell akara, not because we wanted some but because we needed to keep warm. You would see us looking white, and me who is on the fair side, looking whiter than the rest. Then, I always woke up with a film of perspiration drawing map of Nigeria on my face. Such was our lives then.

That morning, I was feeling more than cold. Mama had gone out leaving me and I was so hungry. I tried to remain calm as she had gone to the market. Due to the cold, I left the comfort of the cold room (irony) and went outside to collect sunshine. It was while I was bathing under the sun and receiving vitamin k unintentionally that trouble came knocking.

Mustapha walked up to me in a swagger kind of way. Those days we call it bouncing. I was there, seated, cold and hungry and the overfed ajebo walked up to me. I did not call him, he brought himself. I just watched him to see what trouble he had brought with him.

"Attai, stand up from my chance."

As young as I was, I knew he was bluffing. How can he call an empty space "my chance"? Well, I did not bulge, instead, I sat there and watched him. He came closer to me, using his legs, pushed me. Due to the fact that I was squatting, I very nearly toppled over.

"Mustapha, mind yourself o"

I warned him with the only language my young mind could discern. It was like I gingered him because as soon as I took my face away, there was a total black-out!!! Mustapha had sent a well aimed knock at my head. I felt the pain travel through my cranium and into the sensory nerves of my brain. I felt the signal race brazenly down my neuro-system until it got to my feet. I sprang up like a Cheater but alas, Mustapha was long gone. He left behind laughing feet.

I was enraged... The dragon within me awoken. My body shook from anger, my teeth clattering from suppressed cries. It would have been an added advantage to him if I had cried. So I just kept quiet. I sat down again and was thinking the pain through. I was imagining how to get my own pound of flesh but nothing was forthcoming. The only thoughts I could garner then was deny him my 'tyre'. I knew he would feel pained, so I capitulated on that singular act of revenge.

"Hahahahahaha.... See as Attai nearly cry as I knock am"

I lifted my head sharply. There, some meters away from me was Mustapha making fun of me. I swallowed everything, stood up gently and walked into the house. I sat on one of our numerous wooden chairs and thought. I looked at life through my eyes, why was there injustice? How come Mustapha could stay in a flat while we rented a room and a palour? Why is their family always pompous? So many things went through my mind but revenge stood out.

Mama came back and I opened up to her. She only comforted me, calling me her husband, father and the reason why she is happy. I was comforted but the vengeance still remained inside of me. I knew I was going to have my revenge. I had planned it and I was sure going to execute it.

I waited till it was evening and everybody had gathered to play. I came out of the compound rolling my 'tyre', a gift my dad had given to me specially. I rode it outside. I had not gotten outside before I heard the voice of Mustapha.

"Attai, abeg, give me tyre make I drive"

Wow, so he was going to need me. I just looked at him and shrugged. He looked at me at first, his first reaction was surprise. I had never denied anybody anything. I was such a cheerful giver.

"You no go give me?"

I expected him to beg but instead his voice carried threat with it.

"No."

I answered him with a strong voice, as strong as a (guess) could mutter. Before I could even complete my two lettered word, Mustapha acted quickly. He snatched my tyre, lifted it up and splashhh, it landed inside a big gutter dug close to our compound. I rushed to retrieve my tyre bute he pushed me. He then proceeded to use a stick to push the tyre deeper into the gutter. That was the last straw.

Mustapha was way older than me but I still can't explain how I succeeded in lifting him up without much ado and slammed him on the ground. I was on top of him, pressing him to the ground before an idea found its way into my head. I dipped my hand into the ever present sand and stuffed it in his mouth, nose, eye, ear. Any opening I could find on his face.

It was his Aunt that dragged me off his body. Before I could catch my breath, she landed me a blinding slap. My sister too was just on her way outside so she witnessed everything. Gbosa... The Aunt found herself on the ground. My sister fought for me that day. Well, the fight became a family thing that my mum had to fight with Mustapha's mother.

The day ended on a sad note as both my mum and sister were arrested by the Nigerian Police. It was not treated as a case of two fighting but as a different case. I was too young to comprehend and remember how it all ended finally. But I know I still miss Mustapha. Even though we fought, we were still best of friends.


The end....

Can you remember yours?