₦airaland Forum

These are are true stories:

FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR—–OUCH!
In Michigan a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He complained that his wife had ‘…a
rat in her privates…’ which bit him during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don’t think). After an
examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE? —–
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel (you’d do the same, I’m sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened, (no sh*t Sherlock)! causing constipation and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man’s rectum was removed along with a ping pong ball.

BLIND DRUNK—–
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH! —–
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer MouthAction to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man’s penis and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.



Source: WTFF

Those of you screaming "I see no gun" should look at the guy standing in front. There is a fuucckking pistol hostler there.

You guys should grow balls and admit that what he is doing is wrong. Na wa ooo. Haba mana. This kind thing dey happen for church, then na house sure pass every sunday na.

Even pretty can be seen by the blind. The way you loved him, you were so kind. Even after the crash and he lost his legs, there were days he'd yell at you, frustrated that he couldn't walk. You persevered, you understood. You had your moments.

Then he started to try to walk again, each step made you run to the rest room teary eyed. You never thought you'd see him walk again, inspite of how he cursed at you and his brash countenance towards you, you loved him no less.

"You're free to go. Take it one day at a time. I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad you can walk again" Said your doctor to your husband.

He promised to make it all up to you. All the days you sat and washed him in the bath tub and he'd frown, curse at you, embarrassed that he was been so dependent. He promised to make it all up to you.

Going by looks, this period helped him rest. He looked younger, skin smoother, it had been a while since his skin touched the sun. You, you looked pale, worn out but still in love with this same man. You did it all for him. Doubled your hours at work for a better pay. You'd buy groceries and cooked fresh vegetables all the time. The doctor prescribed it back then. The centre of your head grew white hairs.

Those three years were tough but you became strong for you both. He tried to measure up to all you did for him. Two months after he said goodbye to the hospital, he gave it his all. Asked you to quit your job, he really did appreciate you, all of you. He wanted to treat you right.

Then he came home late one night, looked you in the eye and called you Honey. He never called you Honey, he called you "my angel, my queen". He was tired. He left his phone on your side of the bed and slept on your side of the bed.

His phone rang on silent, it flashed HONEY as the number. Then this Honey sent a text asking if he got home safe. You went down on your knees, you weren't mad, you just felt misused, unappreciated.

One day, he left for work, you went out and bought a mannequin, dressed it in your pajamas and hung it with a rope to the fan. You left him a note:

"Would you prefer that I died? I understand I've lost a bit of my youth but I'm still your wife and I love you so much. Please honor my memory". You left the note under the door mat, a bit of the letter protruded.

When he got back, he was still excited, Honey had given him the best sex ever. Then he searched underneath the door mat for a key, saw the letter, screamed and ran in, in tears, he feared you were gone. He saw the mannequin hung on the fan and thought it was you, he pulled its legs up and untied it. He cried bitterly seeing it wasn't you, even though it had your clothes on.

You walked from behind the guest room. He ran to your feet, laid flat on the ground and cried "I'm sorry" so many times, "I don't know what I was thinking, her name is Debby and I'd never see her again, I promise" he squealed at the top of his base voice.

He stood up, you both hugged and never did he see her again. He learned to honor you, even in your passing.

Written by,
Michael Ogah.

Make I drop one... It have tay

I sat down this morning and was watching African Magic. Men, stars who had gone to the great beyond were just bubbling all over the TV. Men, I was touched. I decided to run a little research on the stars. How they died and every thing.....


David Ihezie, 70
One of the founder members of Nollywood, Ihezie died at his home in January 2012 following a shortbattle with Arthritis. Ugandans fondly remember him for his roles in David and Goliath, Brain Master, Player No 1 and King of the Forest.

James Iroha aka Gringori 69
Circumstances surrounding his death unknown

Lekan Lekison - -
Investigations revealed that the man died of a heart related ailment.

Sam Loco Efe, 66
Prolific stage/screen thespian Efe succumbed under unclear circumstances in his by CouponDropDown” style=”padding: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: none; list-style: none; border: 0px none; color: #444444; text-decoration: underline; -webkit-transition: all 0.2s ease-in-out;”>hotel room at the beginning of August 2011. Police reports later suggested the actor died of acute asthma, as two canisters of ventolin inhalers were discovered at the scene. We will, nonetheless, remember multi-award winning Efe as the gap-toothed funnyman who appeared in over 200 movies in a career spanning three decades, including the unforgettable Heart of Stone, Open & Close, Husband My Foot and Away Match.

Justus Esiri 71
Declared one of the strong men of the African film industry, Justus Esiri has indeed earned his fame. He attended Urohobo College and later went to Germany to study engineering where he developed an interest for theater. Thus he began his acting career on stage in Germany. He was the only Nigerian male performing on stage in the years 1968/69. He also worked for voice of Nigeria VON, German Service as a translator. He was performing on stage in Germany when a delegation from Nigeria invited him to perform in Nigeria in a Government sponsored program, when he went to Nigeria, his homeland, he never went back to Europe. His fame was launched widely for his role in the ever popular African TV series, the village headmaster where he played the "Headmaster".

Pete Eneh, 68
Eneh’s death in November 2012 following a leg infection has largely been attributed to spiritual attacks, ironically in line with roles he excelled at in his screen characters. Doctors at a local facility opted to amputate the actor’s leg after an earlier improper treatment had left it swollen. The operation, however, soured the illness, causing his death. Like Elebuwa, Eneh’s body is yet to be buried. Eneh is most remembered for his fatherly roles in Lonely Life, Divided Kingdom, Price of Ignorance, Heavy Rain and His Grace.

Enebeli Elebuwa, 66
Face of Nollywood, Elebuwa died in December 2012from a stroke he had suffered the previous year. In his quest for healing, the aging actor visited, among others, a controversial Nigerian pastor until finally being airlifted to an India hospital from where he died. His body is due for burial sometime this month. Burly and beardy Elebuwa was notable for his kingly gait which mostly saw him play snobbish characters. He is remembered for such films as Abuja Connection, Bent Arrows, Royal War and Lasting Love.

Collins Ifeanyi
In what has become like an evil wind blowing across the entertainment industry in Nigeria and just as Nigerians are yet to come to terms with the death of Goldie, popular Abuja based actor, director and producer, Collins Ifeanyi Chukwu is dead. The artiste died 15th February, 2013 at the Maitama General Hospital after a brief illness. He is survived by his young wife, Blessing Collins, and little son, Doxa Efechukwu Collins. The late Collins had a knack for producing gospel movies and has to his credit The Burning Flames, el-Gibor, Back to Bethel, and was before his death, working on another blockbuster. He is one of the very successful Abuja based entertainers who have been able to prove that you don’t have to be in Lagos to make it in the industry. Until his death, he was the PRO elect of the Actors guild of Nigeria, AGN, Abuja chapter.

Silifatu Silifonia
Murdered --- Beaten to death by her spouse while heavily pregnant

Bisi Komolafe 27
Was crushed to death by a trailer while traveling on okada. Died at the spot (unconfirmed)

Cassandra Gabriel
Cassandra is was popular in the TV comedy series, Face2Face where she played the character, Sisi Carol. Cause of death not provided online

Hamed Odunla
I don't really know this one. Nothing is written on him online. Well, some deaths just get blown away. RIP

Brown Atienwen
This one was shot to death by them killers who came under the disguise of being robbers. Him and his wife (i think) and host were shot. Too bad, robbers aint supposed to be killing them celebrities since they are hustlers too like them. In fact, don't kill anybody. We are all hustlers, you can collect our money, just leave our lives for us.

Akin Ogungbe 78
hief Christopher Akintola Ogungbe, who died on November 28, 2012, at the age of 78, were laid to rest. It was a day the Association of Theatre Arts Practitioners (ANTP) members from every part of the country converged on Abeokuta, Ogun State to pay their last respect to the Ogun State born legendary actor, whose love for peace among the members of the association was his greatest virtue when he was alive.

Geraldine Ekeocha, 56
Veteran screen princess Ekeocha passed away in September 2011 amid a fibroid operation. She is best remembered for her appearances in The Kingand the Maidens, Heavy Storm, Devine Twins and After My Heart.

Ashley Nwosu, 57
Famed for playing villainous roles, Nwosu succumbed to a liver complication at a military hospital in his hometown of Yaba in April 2011. Fans mostly remember him in Endless Night, Between Two Walls, Power Brokers, Foreign Affairs, Gift from the Grave and Lagos Babes.

Pat Edeh, 29
Young, vibrant and pretty Edeh was in December 2011 crushed to death by a fuel tanker while travelling on a motorcycle. She died on the spot. We will always remember her for her superb delivery in The High Class and To Love and Live Again.

Ahmed Alasari, 43
Comedian Alasari perished in a car crash in March 2011. The crash was reported to have been caused by a burst tyre, causing the car to veer off the road and overturn numerous times, killing him instantly. His last credit, Omo Nightclub, was a big hit.

uzochukwu Ndubuisi
Uzochukwu Ndubuisi popularly known as (UZO JUNIOR CONCEPT) He is a Final year student of IMO State University and a part-time star in NOLLYWOOD, U all should know him He normally act along side with PATIENCE OZOKWO, He passed on Sunday 9th May,2010, While playing football with friends he complained of tiredness and dashed to a corner to rest from there the guy just go, he was rushed to a nearby hospital but to no avail. just imagine that! and he had just finish writting his project. (Culled from Nairaland)

Donald Okoli

One thing about movie producer/scriptwriter, Donald Okoli death is the fact that a lot of mysterious stories have surrounded his passage in the past one week. Right now,top key players in Nollywood are insisting that Donald who was fondly called “The Don” died of ailment related to homos**ual lifestyle. Insiders revealed to us that he gave up the ghost at Military Hospital Yaba,after many months of struggling with anal bleeding and infection. According to the information gathered,Donald was a popular gay and was called”Pampers” during his life time. It was alleged that he was playing the woman to many Nollywood Marketers and top Producers,who are deep into the act and have introduced many young filmmakers into it. Don they swear was among them and he allegedly wore diapers for over two years,but he was lying to friends who discovered his ordeal that he had urinary track infection and diabetes which made him pass urine uncontrollably. He equally claimed that he was using diapers to wedge his waste products to avoid embarrassment. They equally claimed that Donald had all attributes of women in his disposal and till death he was s*x partner of a popular movie director who was the rave of the moment 3 years back who shares his second name with Nigerian’s first chattered accountant. As gathered from reliable sources,on Wednesday,September 21,2011,he started bleeding and was rushed to Military Hospital Yaba,where he spent two days and gave up the ghost. Meanwhile,concerned filmmakers disclosed to us that Donald’s death lost sympathy as many people have come to the realization that he was into a questionable kind of lifestyle. They claimed that individuals who frown at the ungodly illicit behavior are now very nonchalant toward his death,as they insist that those who glorify such lifestyle should bury their dead one. (Well, if you jail them, they won't die... 14 years sure pass )

Toun Oni 72
Late Toun Oni was born in 1938 in Lagosto late Mr. James Oni who hailed from Ilesa, Osun State and Mrs. Ajoke Oni who hailed from Ilorin, Kwara State. She had her elementary education at Living Stone Academy, Abule Nla Road, Ebute Metta, Lagos. She later proceeded to Ghanafor her secondary school education. She came back to Nigeriaand was trained at the Universityof Ife(now Obafemi Awolowo University). She started her secular career as a dancer, in the early 1970s and later became a singer and an actress. This brought her to lime light in the acting scene. She became known as Mama T from her role as Mother Theresa in Acada Campus - a television programme in the late 1980s, also known as Mama Moji in Fuji House of Commotion - a weekly comedy programme on the television. She was famous and popular in the acting profession. She won the Best Actress of the Year Award in 1991 - the first and only edition of the Herbert Ogunde Foundation Award for Theatre Artistes. She was also conferred with a National honour of Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON), by the Federal Government of Nigeria in 2006, in recognition of her outstanding contributions to stage plays and other acts in the Theatre Art industry. She is highly esteemed by her colleagues for her outstanding contributions to the industry.She died on Wednesday July 7th, 2010 on her way to St. Paul's Hospital, Ebute Metta, Lagos. She complained the previous day of body ache. She was aged 72.

Prince Murphy
Death has struck again in the Nigerian movie industry, globally know as Nollywood, as its comic actor, Prince Murphy is reported to have passed on. DailyPost gathered that the actor passed away two days back after a brief illness. Though, it’s yet known the nature of the ailment that led to his death, close sources said several efforts were made to save the actor’s life, but yielded no positive result.

Flavian Okojie

Flavian who starred in the movie Life is Wicked alongside Desmond Elliot and Uche Jombo is alleged to have been killed on Sunday 30th September 2013. According to reports, the couple tied the knot three weeks ago. Our hearts go out to Omo-kivie Adeola and Flavian’s loved ones.

JT Tom West

In his early 40s, the actor fondly called “J.T.” who was famous with his ponytou hair style, acted in numerous Nollywood movies including “State of Emergency,” where he played a terrorist. The last public outing of the action-hero actor was the recently held Nollywood Gala Nite at the Coliseum Nightshift where he interacted freely with his colleagues.



List of Sick Actors
Peter Bruno
Ngozi Nwosu (Underwent Treatment)
Ifeanyi Dike
Prince Uche (Any news?)
Emma Edokpai
Victor Eze
and the list is endless



Last bullet:

Death is not the end of life, it is only a veil that leads to the other room. Whether the room is dark or bright remains unknown.

RIP....