₦airaland Forum

Youngzubi:
Episode……………..3
GBEDU!!!!!!
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E SURE FOR ME
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MEET MY NEIGHBOR
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As I hear 150k, e come be like say na my account balance spata dey tell me,nahim I grab the bill comot for him hand, as I look am my drunkness clear fiaa for my eye
I come carry table water use wash my face wella dat one na to be sure say watin I dey see for the bill na true



Spata nah how much you talk say dem write inside this bill??…….na me ask



Na 150k nah……….spata yan


I swear to tear you slap jus dey hungry my hand,infact your village people don succed in geting you o!,dem jus dey use your brain dey test their new winchcraft……na watin I tell spata be dat

Because na 15k dem write for the bill, wia him go carry extra zero come join I no nor,mtcheew I don already tell una say na goat spata be ,dont worry I go yan una about him later nobi now,make I quickly go settle our bill becos night don land already



I waka go meet one attendant,nah dia I pay the 15000 naira,I for like make i carry one better babe dey go house o! But onto say I don tire for the day nahim make me reason that one as later things




Omo na drag I drag spata go house o!,the idiot don dey sleep naso him just dey talk rubbish as we dey go



We manage reach house naso I drop spata for ground comot my shoe and climb my fine new bed chai the bed soft well well ….no go think rubbish oo


PIifffff!!!!!! naso I sleep till next morning…





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Saturday morning





I wake up for the following morning,look every wia but I no see spata,so I just do my normal morning exercise na watin I dey always do to keep fit.


I enter bathing room na dia I brush teeth and baff
The whole compound don already busy with children noise every wia onto say na Saturday no work no school



Ko! Ko! Ko!!!!


Peson knok for my door…….



Na only for naija peson go dey knok your door with hand and go still use him mouth dey shout ko ko ko join


Who dey diaa!!……I ask

Its me your neighbor……na man voice


Chai fvck up I been dey pray say make my neighbor be woman…


I near door as I open am…..


Goodmorning bro,I guess you are the new tenant right….the peson ask



Na who be this one wey come dey use grama to dey spoil my better morning eh??..na for my mind I dey reason dat one o!


The guy na very handsome guy too just my stature…….


Yes na, nah me how things na?….I ask am as we shake hand


Am good bro,Am sentino by name,a banker but I wont be going to work this morning becos am in the afternoon shift…….


Ehen! Ha you be rich guy na……na me be spana the letest rugged guy in town,tho I never get work onto say I just land but with time I go engage na!


Did you just say spana,hey dude thats a funny name you gat there……


Yes you free to begin laff if e funny
But guy I no dey like people wey dey speak too much English oo!


Oh oh! I see ,ok na I go see u leta in the day nah.i just say make I come greet you …..sentino said as him waka go


Me sef I waka go back enter kitchen,na that time I come remember say I never buy any food stuff put for house,chai I quickly carry my ATM card,lock my door naso i waka straight to bank


As I enter compound omo come see fine fine girls,me I nor dey look man na woman I dey always look….
Some of them dey greet me onto say I be new tenant while me I dey greet some onto say I go like introduce them to spana



i later waka enter street thank gawd sey bank no far from my house as e dey just across the road


i don almost reach main road o! Nahim I come see three aboki wey dey shine shoe chai una need to see argument


Aboki 1: walahyii I go schooo kwo na fur primly sikiss me I finish am….


Aboki 2 : furgate tha one I no say I no go zukul but me I zabi buuk pass you walayii


The third one just stand dey nack him box kpoi ! Kpoi ! Kpoi!! ,e be like say that one no dey speak broken at all becos him just. stand dial dey shine teeth…..


Aboki 1 : oya if u sabi book pass me wey go schoo watin dem dey kwall monkey for English


Aboki 2 : hahaha!!!! Hayii hayiii!!!! Walayi you dey maky me laff well well kwoo!!
monkey fur English na chimpiezy nah who no no dat one….


Aboki 1 :kai wo mana ...na gawd safe you say you get am , I fur laff you tire!!!!


Chai laugh no gree me laff wia I stand,I just kukuma cross road waka dey go bank…….


i don almost reach bank before I sight one fine Lexus like that wey park for front,one woman about 46+ waka come down as she carry her purse enter bank,but no be she i dey look,No e get one beautiful damsel wey seat down for passenger front seat omo the girl fine diee!!!



I just stand dey reason how I go take approach her befor her ma’le go come back

tho she suppose don reach 25 yrs old the way I take see her

but As a smart rugged guy wey I be,I nor say this one go sure for me so I gather mind waka go meet am


As I reach her side omo her beauty come increase no artificial makeup at all,but the problem come be how I go fit get her attention becos she put ear piece for ear close her eyes come dey sing you are my African queen by tuface idibia


Chai come see sweet voice ,infact I go make this one my girlfriend becos she complete pa!!


I try everything wey I fit do ,but this babe no gree open eyes e be like say the song dey enter her brain


I just vex tap am………
She shock as she quickly open eyes comot the ear piece sharpaly


Wow see beauty my heart mealt instanta,so I just smile ,my smile na electric shock to girls oo


Omo the way I take hear her accent she be ajebuta oo ,abeg una go permite me make I speak English small


Me: hi

She:hello….


Me: with my Charmin smile still on my face,it seems you love that song so much cos I been greeting you for a while now,am beginning to imagine what sort of song would make such a pretty girl like you to be soo carried away


Oh!! My gawd please forgive my mannars,I was actually practicing,I have a show to perform in this evening,so i was actually practicing ….she said giggling



Comfirm comfirm comfirm!, since e be say she like music and she dey perform too...e don settle na,the thing na to just apply law 919 coded,it mean say mesef I go pretend and lie for am say I be musician too so e go dey easier for me to toast her


Na so I come gather all the better lie from east north west and south tell am say me sef I be multinational instrumentalist,sey I fit play any kind of musical instrument………..

una need to see as the girl just happy she come open door com outside full

Wow you mean you can play music instruments very.well…..she ask


not just very well am a professional an expert for that……….I sweet mouth join


Wowwwww!!!!! Please can i have your contact please I would like you to come to my show this evening,even the state governor will be there,its a very big show please promise me you will be there…..she pleaded


Oh! Boy I tell una say I go make am for Lagos I tell una say I be baba for the girls chai if I fit make this one my babe e mean say I don turn rich man be that……

So we exchanged contact after I promised her that I will come to her show


Chai I rush enter bank go cash 30k nahim I use go buy food items put for house

Later in the day after I don chop sleep,watch TV sotey I come tire nahim I go carry wall clock hold for hand dey look time ……
Ooooo!!! make four nack nah




3;30 pkam I rush enter bathing room go baff after that nahim I come remember say I nor get any suit at all
Better idea enter my head so I quickly run go sentino house since him be banker e mean say suit go full every wia…
But as I nok na one fine babe like that wey wear bom short open door I guess na sentino girlfriend

chai the girl over make sense i Iook am sotey I come forget watin carry me come
She just close door as I no talk anything na look I just dey look am

Sentino later tie rapper come outside na den I comfirm say my bros dey do assignment


Bros thank gawd say you neffa go work oo….I greet


Abi na I for won go but my babe Maya just land from her mupsi side from katakata , so I decided to waya small nah!!


baddoo I dey feel you bros abeg you fit borrow me any of your well ironed suit
abeg e get one interview like that wey just surface

Chai sentino na sure guy as him carry one better suit gimme……

3:45 I don already dey road,e no tey before I reach the big gigantic hall wia the show hold omo no be small show be that oooo
Come see big big men car full every wia Chia to buy car come dey hungry me but na keke I take come sha
I enter hall after the bouncer grant me entrance when I show them the iv card wey the babe don gimme earlier
Every wia don full gbimm as I enter,every wia just dey smell rich rich

I stand dey look befor I sight her coming to wia I dey stand with better smile for her face…
She hug me as she reach wia I stand omo this babe too make sense pass Maya sef ..Chai e go sure for me oooo

She carry me go wia her Parents seat down
Nahim she come introduce me as her very good friend say I be multinational instrumentalist
Chai my head come dey swell as I shake hand with both him ma’le and pa'le dem

Him papa na rich man oo because na two bouncer and two soldier dey stand for him back as body guard…

The girl later carry me go another sit na for dia we sit down dey gist before the stupid MC come call her up for stage say make she come perform
She excuse her self as she waka go stage omo come see clapping

She carry microphone,,,,thank u thank u everybody am glad you all came this show ...this evenin i wont be perfoming alone ,there is a very good friend of mine who is an instrumentalist ,both of us will be doing it together to night I will do the singing while he would be playing the keyboard


Please ladies and gentle men help me to welcome YOUNGZUBI !!!!!!!!!!!!!

chai shiit catch me wia I sit down omo I don enter am today

I tell the girl say my name na youngzubi earlier base on say spana go dey local

People begin clap mesef I follow them dey clap infact na my own loud pass

She wait wait and wait for wia I nor even stand up
Nahim she come use her hand come drag me go stage

Omo I go seatdown for wia the key board dey nahim the girl come whisper for my ear say her voice dey for F key

Chai cold sweat catch me as I sitdown dey look the keyboard dey wonder why the white keys come long pass the black keys,how i won take see F keys for this plenty keys wey full every wia i wonder oo

Zubi start now …..she shout

Chai I don die oo!!for my life I never touch keyboard before but I gather mind press one key

Piaaaa!!!!!!!!,the whole speaker shout chai hot we we catch me instanta

I press black one

Poowwwww!!!!!!!!



Zubi be serious now stop playing with the key board….she talk


I come gather mind us all strength take press the whole keys both white and black together..
Chai una no go like hear the sound wey the thing make as my village people shout issa awa work oo!! for my head

the girl vex trowey mic and run go down the stage
Omo fear catch me infact I begin dey drop we we for sentino trouser as I sight the girl papa soldier as them dey climb stage come meet me with vex……


Na watin I go do oooo!!!!! Gbese le oo!