hahahahahaaaaa

can you imagine


the guy even dey give messi advice

he must be having some serious wet dreams

she didn't use drugs.

she swallowed OLD ONE NAIRA COIN and it went to block her pussiey. That's what girls use to trick guys these days.


I wonder why guys are so crazy about virgins and virginity ?

first it was the SHOP GIRL STORY

now it is the Church GIRL STORY



continue
just continue

Another Rule book made by a person whose life is full of problems.
I don't sleep much, i find it boring but i have to sleep when I need to sleep. so if a man sleeps by 9pm then that makes him not marriage material?
if a man doesn't believe in Jesus or Allah then he is less than a man ?

yawning

naija comedy central

sashishalom:




I love the part the ghosts sleeps with both of them...hehehe

That 50 shades of black eh....Lord have mercy on that guy...in short that film sef...they turned the whole thing to another thing even Anna self....lolz

the guy got ALTER-BOYed by the ghost. that part really cracked me.
plus when the ghost was giving them fun time after smoking we*d with dem.

sashishalom:



Haunted house is stupidly dope....

same guy acted the black American version of 50 shades of grey...his was 50 shades of black...crazy movie...really damm crazy

Stupiiiiidly dope! I concour
Effects, Camera, Lighting, Video texture, Performance, punchlines .... On Point.

I liked every scene but my best scene is when MALCOLM called up his cousin RAYRAY & his gang to come take out the ghost.

Am gonna look for 50 shadesofblack. must be dope too cos that guy is just SICK

SCARFACE


PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 1234


LORD OF THE RINGS 123


THE HANGOVER 123 (i just love to see Mr Chow)


GLADIATOR


HAUNTED HOUSE


HERO (Jet Li)


THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY


LITTLE BOY


TROY (i love the way ACHILLES runs to meet his enemies)


EUROTRIP (my best teen movie ever)


DRUM LINE


APOCALYPTO (very original movie)


RUDDERLESS (seen this movie over 15 times this year alone)



yes I have watched each of these movies more than 5 times over.

gemini35:
i,was dating a girl of 24,and she is always talking about marriage,i decided to let my people know,they asked were she hail from i explained ,,and every body rejected her,reason my uncle married from that side,which i knew,she divided the family,,and sowed a seed of discord,as i,m talking my grand mother died the woman could not allow my uncle to attend the burial from usa,so the hatred was much,,i,told the girl that my people will not support our marriage,she asked me if she is going to live with my people,some times i beat her because she is sturbon and domineering,,i even asked her to live my house she said i,m the one to live the house for her,she eventually got pregnant,,and born baby girl,my uncle personally put a call to the parents,that i will not marry from their side,,then she was with her parent,,after six months with her parents,they still sent her to my house as if marriage is by force ,,,this girl came back to my house,i,could not send her away because of the baby,i,left her gradually she lured me to start making love to her and now she is pregnant and refuse to abort it,the parents are now inviting me so we can discuss,i,m traped in the middle,how do i handle this matter i need an advice from matured men,in the house,one the people that are suppose follow me to go and pay are against the marriage,and the the first baby is still in the curstody of her parents,and the way i see the girl she like,s to be in charge,should i ignore my people and go ahead and marry her she might also bring discord in our family,i,need not only advice but spiritual guide line,on the step to follow,i,m just like a prodigal son to my peoples ,every body is puting blame on me and i acept my mistake.and flaws.

very funny guy.


buy nice bottle of SNIPER.


Pour it in a very clean cup


Look at your life


Look at the cup


and think of what to do with it.

Dubai.
from desert to Wonderland.
Naija... which way?

Stale, Boring, over exaggerated and super boring
makes me wanna go back to sleep.

abah009:
There was this girl in my neighbourhood, very pretty, she has wide hips, big arse , and boobs.A girl that can make any guys Joystick to misbehave.I spoke to her about my interest,She agreed.The following day, she asked me to buy her a jean and tshirt worth 15k, which i oblidge.Last week she asked me to take to TANTALIZER. I went there together with her, expecting her to sit down so that we will be chatting as entertainment was on, but she told me she needs take away.I paid about, 8000k for what she ordered for.The most annoying thing that hurt me was that, thirty minutes later when i called her line, she picked and address me as MUGU how nah. The next thing i heard was the voice of a guy saying baby iam not done yet give me the doggy style.The next, sound i heard was the lady moaning in the phone.Well, I leave her with God to judge..

don't you know MUGU means that she love you very well more than the guy you heard on the phone? so you no know ? you be mumu oh! wise up and do more for her.

Make sure you put your destiny in a calabash and give to her before you wake up from your malaria dream

when your CONTAINER of love finally lands........ ON YOU !
hahahahaaa

The printer might be her EX in printer's clothing

sassiemyk:
I gave up on power banks the day mine (Romoss) exploded like a bomb unprovoked. I'm still thanking God for his saving grace

hahahahaaa

no be small saving grace oh.

i have a very powerful powerbank which i have been using for 3 years now but it still charges my phone from ZERO to 100 about 7 times. even when it is dead i can still use it to charge my iPod from ZERO to 100.

Small but Mighty.

he was trying to run away?
where he wan run away to inside bode thomas ?

bakynes:

Baba i second your position, that guy is the most talented celebrity in the world. If not for his stupidity on the night of the grammys with Rihanna, he would have been the most celebrated and richest celebrity after Micheal Jackson.

Chris Brown.
I wonder how many entertainers would bounce back from the tragedy of rejection and downfall after the Rihanna beating incident ?
I admire his resilience.
He puts so much effort and dedication to his job and art. and he is good at what he is doing.
Song after Song, Hit after Hit.
You can't hide him in your song. That voice and skill is OUTSTANDING.

CHRISSSS

BREEEEEEEEEEZY


my favorite person in the whole world

XaintJoel20:
Just hoping this is not mere formalities after they have filled the vacant post with their family members, friends and cronies...


Nigeria I hail thee...

You know what's up.
so they will INVESTIGATE every bank account, every Facebook profile, every ATM withdrawal, every illegal suya and kilishi purchase, every profit ever made in your life.

this one na EYE SERVICE

AuroraB:
Seems they got time on their hands. Are they done investigating those caught with 'em hands in the cookie jar?


On a lighter note, if you've stolen meat from Mumsie's pot of soup, they coming for you

I knew something like this would happen, that's why I didn't apply. Me wey I be experienced veteran mama pot ninja. Even as I big reach, my mama pot is not safe when I step into her kitchen.
*smiles*

I think it is better for the manufacturer to move out of Nigeria.
Rather than stay in Nigeria and make substandard good so as to remain in business.

look at the price of everything is getting bigger while the quantity and quality is depreciating.

As a kid, I can remember how many times we changed our electric bulbs in the house. but these days u can change one bulb 3 times b4 the year ends. even the lampholder and wires melt. can you imagine?

you leave soap in water for TWO MINUTES and it varnishes

Milk is now tasteless.

back then, u cant use 2 cubes of sugar to drink tea but now u almost need 7.

No good & affordable plastic chairs.

Sharing spoon bends when you are turning rice on fire.

back in boarding school, your cabin biscuits will remain crispy if you put it in milk. but now it will melt before you put milk.

Substandard goods everywhere even when you bring out money to buy.

abeg let the companies go instead of making rubbish for us in the name of trying to do business in Nigeria

reserved111:
All these pals saying: tell her to stop calling you, talk to her wit fatherly voice, block her, be mean wit her and all dat...
No matter what she deserve my respect besides I'm smone that treat children wit respect even kids of 4 years, I can't beat a child rather I talk to them wit d same respect as I talk to adults. You don't need to Snub a child if u want to get best result. .
Besides I never said dis young gal is sort of rag dat u just need a way to dispose. She is a very pretty and intelligent young woman dat every man will want to keep if she were to be of age or wen she get to ripe age. Advice I seek is hw to make her remove adult kind of feelings till she get to d bridge.

hahahahaaa
shey una don see am.

u collect phone number to order food. why you no collect the mama own number ?

next thing be say she don dey check your phone.

next thing she don dey ask u about the babes on your phone

next thing she even know your Facebook details. who gave her ?

next thing u don dey show her your GCE, WAEC, NECO, BSc, MSc, MBA, GCFR, GCON, certificate. weda u carry the certificate dem go her mama shop. na u sabi.

next thing u don see her finish to the point say you know say she be pretty WOMAN with this and that qualities. (@ bolded)


NOW AGAIN. MAKE UNA SEE THIS GUY WEY SAY MAKE WE ADVICE AM but it seems he already knows how best to handle the matter (@ bolded)

*in Patience Jonathan's voice*
KonTeeNyu

Mskrisx:





Op go hate u eeh?

Thanks MsKrisx
have i said anything wrong? Abi i dey lie?

How can a 31 year old man be giving a young girl green light and later come here to paint the girl bad like she is now a pest and even be asking what he should do. At 31 you don't know how to tell a child to stop calling your number and leave you alone then what will he do if she was one year older than him or even his age mate. na NTA or AIT he go reach to make announcement.

Kelechi2020:


Take it easy naaa..Na quarrel

Excuse me !!!!
he came to be advised stop scolding cause it might be you tommorow...

A car tracker could be your best investment.
Protect your car mow as delay could cost you more...
Call in for more info..

i am scolding who ?
if that is what you understood after reading my response then that's good for you.

reserved111:
Gudday pals,
it all started this way; I do patronize her mum in their restaurant smtimes she sends d food over, somehow I took her digit so as to order for food when I needed.
As time goes she started by calling to say hi even when their restaurant is not open.
Now d calls is frequent even at midnights and sundays.
As time goes she added me on all social platforms and always wants to chat me up.
Now she even check my phone and questions about my chats wit girls, also asks for t-fare and gifts.
My problem: this is not what I bargained for besides she is only 17 while I'm old enough to be her dad. As I'm 31. She even went as far as questioning my frnd on fbook...
Pls pals how do I tell her dat it can never be possible for me to keep her. She is too young for all this and I'm a principled guy.
Tnks
: Kelvin

The Worst lie you can tell anyone is the lie you tell to yourself.
"SOMEHOW" you collected her number ? Somehow ? Seriously ? Please explain SOMEHOW!
is it that when you went to the restaurant to get food they served the food along with the number as toothpick ?

You try to tell us why you took her number. Remember the day you asked for her number and remember the way you asked for it.
and by the way, why didn't you ask for the mum's number instead, since it was for the sole purpose of ordering food.?

She started calling and you probably started it. She started calling and you were leading her on, giving her all the green lights. when she calls, you clear your voice very well before you answer so that you can sound sweet in her ear. Just like a bird She followed your bread crumbs and now you are telling us another thing and trying to look all innocent and pure.

Excuse me!
From ordering food to midnight calls to giving her your phone to read your messages and having conversations about females on your phone and showing her your Bsc and WAEC results. How come ?

She has been coming to your house and you showed her your SHINNING Msc and Bsc and Phd and GCFR results to ENCOURAGE her while letting her read your messages and talk about females on your phone as well as discuss about marriage.

What else are you not telling us?
You kissed her? Yes/No
You smooched her? Yes/No
She gave you head? Yes/No
You have been 4keen her? Yes/No
Or it is only your certificate and your phone she came to see in your house? No/No.

because this your story seems to have been painted and cooked up in a way to make her look bad and make you look like the victim.

You say you were just being a big brother to her. But that's how these things start abi? Big brother Africa.

Tell yourself the truth.

*in DAVIDO'S voice*

No be by force to go Dubai


na wah oh.
the thing that is chasing him from his country must be really serious.

God will not allow our condition in NAIJA to reach this level where people will start to enter ghana must go bag to escape from change Chains

na wah oh.

LAGOS

This is NEWS on [size=14pt]MONDAY[/size] MORNING

Clap Clap Clap.

He is a MATURED MAN
He has a KIND HEART
He is a RARE TYPE OF MAN.
Bla Bla Bla.

Mr DevGuru

You have been sleeping with the ENEMY for many years and now you discovered.

Why is your wife saying sorry? She is only sorry because she got caught and she is forcing out those tears because she knows you have a weakness for her tears. Who knows what's next?
She must be a very good actress and she probably knows every string to pull.
How do you manage to eat without fear of being poisoned OR sleep peacefully without fear of being smothered by your loving wife.?

Now your enemies have played the APOLOGY card but the unbearable shame and anger is still there in their heart and they will hurt you badly with the next chance they get. I believe there was an on-going plan which you have disrupted by discovery of the "tapes". That plan seems to have gone so far and it will not be forgotten, but will be further worked on when it seems there is peace. Guess who will stab you in the back and cry the loudest just as she is crying right now and acting? you guessed right. She is still very loyal to them. It is all a matter of time and you MIGHT regret not giving punishments for such deadly betrayal.

Trust is like a Mirror. Once it gets cracked, it can NEVER be the same.

I am very afraid for you DevGuru.
Your life is in grave danger.
The enemy is still in your bed waiting for the perfect time to strike.

This is NOT over.

3sexy:


Did u say 10 minutes ?
Hmmn it seems there is more problem than I thought !

?