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Christianity EtcRe: How Could They Have Known, Inpired By God Or Guess Work? by funnyDM: 1:14am On Jan 09, 2022
The secret things belong to God Almighty.
CrimeRe: 5 People Have Died And 15 People Injured After Cliff Collapsed by funnyDM: 1:11am On Jan 09, 2022
So sad.
RomanceRe: How Do I Peacefully End My Relationship With My Gf by funnyDM: 12:47am On Jan 09, 2022
Bobmarie:
Lol. Why would you want to control another human being who is also an adult like you? That’s probably where those men have issues with their women. Drop this your mentality about highly educated and well to do women. Some of us fall just as stupid in love as the op’s girl did but what’s worse is we parted with some belongings and a lot of money just because of one nigga wanted something to smash every night instead of real love.




These bad experiences did not make me give up on the thought of love or stop being a sweet natured girl. Human beings are very different.
Isn't that a paradox? I'm afraid but you can't find such women, atleast not in Nigeria.
RomanceRe: How Do I Peacefully End My Relationship With My Gf by funnyDM: 6:30am On Jan 08, 2022
RedMac:
Good evening nairalanders... This issue is one out of many bothering me in 2022...

Let me first of all apologize for all the evil things I have said about women being so cheap, hence the reason they fall into the hands of bad guys... cos am now guilty of a bad guy here

My previous relationship was just about crashing, in fact I was totally fed up with KATE, I vowed to end 2019 with her, and so it was... I never wanted to have any serious relationship with any lady until I have a sustainable financial source of income... I was doing fine without a girlfriend until this one wriggled her way into my life, thinking she have found love...

So me and this girl (in her late 20's) started dating deep into 2019 to 2020...

Truth is she was the one who toasted me, she would come to our house to charge phone's and the rest, from there things started happening... I felt whatever that's going on won't last long, but hell no, she just wanted true Love... Which I have been deceiving her with

By standard of wife material (she's a perfect example to the core), very caring and loving

her limitations is her status... Way too local and not up to my standard...

We started dating and the truth is that we both have different reasons for dating each other...

I decided to keep her because of the services I get from her as I must constantly oil my engine... I felt everything will die off naturally as my previous relationship has, now am hooked up...

I got to know her intention of marriage in 2020 during the lockdown, but since then i have been looking for ways to end everything with her, cos I have no intention of marrying her and I feel I have deceived her a lot, She sees me as who I am not... And my plain character have deceived her a lot...

She did no wrong loving me, her only offense was that she could not sense that am deceiving her... If she was up to my social status I would have married her but she is no where close to who I can present to my people as my wife...

I have been looking for ways to let her know am not ready to marry er... One taught am having is teaming up with a false prophet to tell er this guy (me) am not the guy for her... She really deserves the best in life, but I see myself as the wrong guy for her... She has never given me any reason to suspect she's dating another guy, all her attention is always on me

This year she's expecting our relationship to move to the next level... Like introduction and the rest

Experts in the house, how do I pull this off... I just don't want her to feel so bad towards me...

Help me!!!
I read those bolded parts and I was gobsmacked!

Seriously, bro! I hope you aren't kidding me on this?

So many rich men are regretting (some even gone) because of the high social status of their wives. See. You can NEVER control a high-class educated and wealthy woman. NEVER! You'll only compromise and endure the relationship with her. But here, you have a lady that is loyal to you and loves you - a rare quality among nigerian women and your backpedalling? Are you alright bro? Do you wanna marry a karashika, or a gold-digging slay queen? And spend your entire life in regrets and restlessness? Think about it bro.

And if her only fault is her low social status (educationally or financially) as you claimed, then why not man up on your responsibilities and build her to your taste?

Who knows, you may dump her for another man that will build her to a level that will make you, in subsequent years to come, become jealous and wish you never took such rash decisions as would want to, today.

And those years, if you try to start those "how do I hook up with my ex" nonsense, thunder from God Almighty will strike you to blindness and madness in Jesus name Amen.
RomanceRe: Was She Doing Rituals When She Slept With Me? by funnyDM: 8:49pm On Jan 07, 2022
She has used the destiny of your unborn female children. They'll be useless in life.
LiteratureRe: You Can Never Be Poor This Year If You Know These...[facts] by funnyDM(op): 12:06am On Jan 07, 2022
MrBrownJay1:
so "hustling legitimately" and "not folding your hands" is your secret formula for becoming rich?!? thats what you learned from these books?
I would have told you calmly if you had asked politely, but your nasty egocentric self wont let you. So, what's the point? Forget it bro.
LiteratureRe: You Can Never Be Poor This Year If You Know These...[facts] by funnyDM(op): 11:57pm On Jan 06, 2022
MrBrownJay1:
this isnt an argument, its an online discussion... but let us take YOU as an example...you supposedly have all the right tool/knowledge and booklets on how to become rich, yet you aint rich! you are all over NL looking for one opportunity upon the next trying to get something going. so my question to you would be: since you've read all your books and know exactly what it takes to become rich, why havent you practce what you preach and become rich? WHY AINT YOU RICH?!
I am not rich bro. But i'll get there. That doesn't mean that I won't hustle legitimately. Hope you get my point? I can't fold my hands and expect riches to come. I'm learning skills bro. I've won a few freelancing gigs bro. I aint joking. I resigned from my day job last month to focus on my skills and portfolio. I'll get there. So are you satisfied now?
LiteratureRe: You Can Never Be Poor This Year If You Know These...[facts] by funnyDM(op): 11:31pm On Jan 06, 2022
MrBrownJay1:
having the knowledge is one part, then you need to have the right opportunity and the right environment to succeed, AND A BIT OF LUCK too. ten people could have the same idea and 8 would fail while one would manage and the last one would be extremely successful. you cant possibly predict such thing as there are so many variables to consider. any of these yeye people who tell you they have the formula to get rich (yet are poor themselves AND/OR faking their success) are fraudsters! there is no one out there with a proven formula for being rich that anyone can use.

here is a simple clue: as much as everyone want to be rich, the reality is that many will remain poor for the rest of their natural life
Let's not argue more. However, I'd suggest you read some books (like the ones listed below) to get enlightened bro.

* The Richest Man in Babylon.
* As a Man Thinketh.
*Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
EducationRe: Missing UNIJOS Female Student Found Dead With Gouged Eyes (Graphic Photos) by funnyDM: 11:22pm On Jan 06, 2022
You wanna bam with the big boys?
LiteratureRe: You Can Never Be Poor This Year If You Know These...[facts] by funnyDM(op): 11:17pm On Jan 06, 2022
MrBrownJay1:
majority of people will remain the SAME this year....some will be more successful while others successes will be over....its the ying and yang of life! anyone out there who think that there is a secret formula for wealth, are living in LA LA LAND!
I believe that no one is destined to be a failure in life. It's our choices in life that determines whether we'll succeed in life or not. Our choices, subsequently, comes from the level of illumination of our mind in harmonizing the powers within us (our talents). there formulas for success bro. Most people never discover them early (if they ever discover them).
LiteratureYou Can Never Be Poor This Year If You Know These...[facts] by funnyDM(op):
© Zhini Publishing Ltd

At this time of the year, one of the things that can possibly be found under your pillows is a piece containing a list of resolutions, coupled with financial and project plans for the new year. However, while it is deemed necessary by common sense to dish out these wish-lists; it becomes surprisingly difficult to explain why most (if not all) of these lists and projects have been abandoned by the middle of the year. According to Wikipedia, in a 2014 report, 35% of participants who failed their New Year’s resolutions admitted they had unrealistic goals, 33% of participants did not keep track of their progress, and 23% forgot about them; about one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.

So what is the point of all these? There is a higher chance that you will not achieve your project and financial plans this year. If you do not stick to the rules and take on some bold steps, you’ll not succeed in your plans this year. Your plan may be to start up a new business, launch a major investment strategy, generate and build novel money-making ideas, acquire a brand new car, or move to your own house. Whatever it is, you’ll need three (3) strategic principles, what I call the “3 Golden Powers”, for great success. If you understand these golden powers, you’ll forever be successful and rich. If you don’t, you’ll forever dwell in the dark world of oblivion and ignorance.

Remember, just as the Sun will never seize to shine each day, these “3 Golden Powers” will never seize to bring favour, honour, and riches to those who abide and practice what it teaches. Even as the Sun will continue to shine till your old age, and unto the old age of the last born of your third generation, so will these “3 Golden Powers” bring honour and riches to you if you choose to persistently tour its path.
Below are the “3 Golden Powers” that will illuminate your mind to a world of greater heights and achievements in life –

1) Build your cognitive powers – This is the first power you need to build and keep building throughout the rest of your life. This is the power of Mind and Brain. Personally, I am an IT specialist and I belong to a Facebook group for IT Professionals. It happened that there is this Indian guy that made a post, which drew a lot of reactions from people, about IT skills. What he said really got me up working sleeves, and I had to ponder greatly over his post. He wrote, and I quote, “If you have a Laptop and Internet, you can be as rich as the richest IT guy in America, from anywhere in the world.”

Well, he is right! With the advent of remote outsourcing jobs in the technology space as a result of the covid-19/Omicron pandemic, many IT guys from developing countries are getting high-paying jobs from developed countries like the US, UK, and Germany; and getting paid jaw-dropping salaries they could never believed were possible before now, and in their own country. In fact, it is amazing how technology can turn a hungry-looking young man from a Lagos slum to a millionaire living in posh areas like Victoria Island overnight! That is the power of your Mind and Brain! If you must be financially successful in life, you must build on the power of your Mind and Brain. Acquire and master a high-paying skill (Your Brain Power), and develop a powerful interpersonal/negotiation skill (Your Mind Power), and watch money flow to you in endless amounts. The truth is – what is stopping many youths from getting rich is laziness and lack of proper orientation on their cognitive powers. Get education. Go to school (if you’re privileged), but don’t ever forget to learn a skill – it could be non-formal skills like;

* tailoring,

* hair dressing,

* AC repairs,

* building construction,

* electrical installation, etc.


which is good for self-reliance; or digital skills such as;

* web development,

* blockchain development,

* digital marketing, data science,

* software engineering,

* UI/UX Design,

* Mobile App development,

* content writing and marketing, etc

which is better. Why should you build your cognitive powers? If you ask me, I will say; to have more options in life. Personally, I have been rewarded in some ways by my willingness to build and re-build my cognitive powers. In October 2021, I got a freelance job to build a web application for a client. Normally, I had stopped building my coding skills because my present job (not IT-related) gives me little time for it. When the freelancing gig came, I took it up with boldness, went back to my programming closet, and re-ignited my coding abilities. I finished the website, from scratch, by the end of November 2021. I later got an alert of N105 000 added to my account, and I got richer by N105 000!

How powerful can you be? Let’s face it. You can be only as powerful as your cognitive powers. The best thing you can do for yourself to stay relevant and have more sources of money flowing to you is to develop and continuously develop your cognitive powers. One more vital aspect of your life that you should never ignore is your psychological skill. Building your brain powers is great but you must compliment it with a strong mind power. Learn about interpersonal/negotiation skills. Read books on psychology. One of the good books I recommend for those who wish to improve their psychological abilities is, “How to win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Never stop learning. Never stop building yourself. Never stop developing your mental powers. One of the major differences between the elites and others in any profession is that; the elites strive to become better and better each day in their skill, whereas the others become more complacent in their skill each passing day. Finally, one powerful resounding principle from the Holy Book aptly puts it this way, “Seest thou a man diligent (constantly striving to be better) in his business (or skill)? He shall stand before kings (high-rank men; greater and richer opportunities); he shall not stand before mean men (little men; little opportunities)” [Prov. 22:9 KJV](Emphasis Mine).


2) To be continued…
2 Likes
ProgrammingRe: Why You Need To Learn Go Programming Language by funnyDM: 7:01pm On Jan 05, 2022
Except the boss.py needs it to be written in golang, I don't see why I can't write my python app and optimize it in C/C++ faster performance comparable to golang.
ProgrammingRe: Getting Current Total Webpage View by funnyDM: 6:48pm On Jan 05, 2022
Cookies, sessions, and unique ip addresses. Those are the ways.
Literature/Writing AdsRe: closed by funnyDM: 10:52pm On Jan 03, 2022
Dvea:
chat me up
The fields of Sports, casino, and crypto are tech related. I'm a technology and cryptocurrency writer. I believe that I can adapt so much faster into writing reviews in those niches, as I'm a fast and willing learner.

A sample here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NXp3dbtlT05VAV75m0F-tryz6-6on67bMDumfxQOTVc/edit?usp=drivesdk

If you consider the above link as a good content writing sample, then let's get started as soon as possible.
ProgrammingRe: What Did You Build In 2021? by funnyDM(op): 8:51pm On Jan 03, 2022
So guys share your projects with us, let's get inspired.
ProgrammingRe: What Did You Build In 2021? by funnyDM(op):
Let me start:


Project Title: shipping and courier service site

Tech stack: python, bottle, wtforms, sqlalchemy, css, jquery, etc.

PaaS: heroku (removed)

Src: ********

Status: almost completed.

Next project: mini cryptocurrency investment site

Available for hire: YES
ProgrammingWhat Did You Build In 2021? by funnyDM(op): 8:38pm On Jan 03, 2022
OK guys, 2021 has come and gone. I'm sure some of us built some projects, maybe web apps, mobile apps, or desktop enterprise software in 2021. So let's get to know know them here and be inspired.

NOTE: you must include links to where you're hosting them in this manner :

Project title:

Tech Stack:

PaaS: (the platform you hosted it)

Src: (link to the source code or github repo)

Status : (whether you've completed the project or not)

Next project: (the next project you'll be working on soon)

Available for hire: (whether you are available for hire or not)

Please let's abide by this rule and it'll be fun in the end.
BusinessRe: I Want To Start Saving In Dollars. by funnyDM: 7:17am On Jan 01, 2022
ChinweAmaka19:
For the earning part, you can choose to sell your skills to international clients, get paid in dollars and withdraw it into your Domiciliary account through PayPal.

There are other options like: Publishing books on Amazon Kdp and earning in dollars, selling international products e.t.c

For the savings part, you can open a UBA Domiciliary account or a USD Africard account and deposit in it.

There are Aboki's who buy and sell dollars too. Bank prices are always too high.

For more options, Google is your friend. Thanks for asking.
This is a gold mine for anyone who is serious about 2022. Keep this to yourself baby girl. The wise ones will see it and learn.
ProgrammingRe: Distress Sales Dell Latitude E6410 by funnyDM: 2:12pm On Dec 30, 2021
What issues does it have?
ProgrammingRe: My Journey Into React Native by funnyDM: 8:43pm On Dec 29, 2021
qtguru:
Not worth the stress biko, I'd rather write Java if I'm doing C# for mobile apps
What of Qt Mobile?
ProgrammingRe: Which System Should I Buy by funnyDM: 8:34pm On Dec 29, 2021
Holymann:
I want to get a laptop for my coding lessons but I'm confused on which one to choose.
The first one is a 2011 Dell latitude e6520 i5 4gb RAM with 500HDD 3hrs battery at 70k
The second is a 2017 HP 250 g6 6th gen i3 4gb RAM 500HDD <2hrs battery at 50k
.
PS: all I have is 75k and I'm not expecting any money until February
Dell anytime any day.
RomanceRe: Ways To Identify A Girl With High Body Count by funnyDM: 3:33pm On Dec 28, 2021
BigBashiru:
1. She looks plum - this is a sign of sperm activity in her body.

2. It is easy to get her to open her legs.... means ur not the first

3. looks older than her age.

4. overactive in church I.e. carries church on her head... this is a way to compensate for a past life now that shes "born again"

guys pls contribute...
Forget all these lists, if she easily engages and laughs wildly with a random male stranger within minutes of their discussion, then she's got no more shame within her and is definitely one of them.
RomanceRe: My Lady Made A Mess At A Hotel by funnyDM: 3:03pm On Dec 28, 2021
hotwax:
She joined me on the bed, put my hand on her padded private. She used tissue paper as sanitary pad. She said sorry, I Bleep up. I said no she shouldn’t feel sorry. Her menstruation is my joy. Afterall you are not here because of sex. We have a lot to talk about tonite. So relax lets enjoy the night. She then told me she can’t spend the night. She has to go on the same day, before evening. She gave me reason that when her menstrual cramp starts she always boil water and other things. Hotel is not the right place for it. I agreed. 6pm, she packed and started going, I was busy on my laptop fixing my office assignments. I stood to see her off. She insisted that I should continue. No need. But I insisted, as I saw her off to the door, she insisted again, go and do your work na. I will take a bike just at the entrance, I don’t know what happened, I just agreed saw her walk out the walkway, I banged my door and continue my work on the laptop.

Then few seconds later, even if she wanted to get a bike, she will still be waiting outside for one, I remembered that the plate I used for lunch still has some leftover food and if not discarded will constitute foul stench in my room. So I picked up this plate to try and place it outside my door so housekeepers could pick it up.

I opened my room door, bend down to drop the plate at my door foot, I noticed someone standing at the door indirectly opposite mine. The person was knocking gently and calling on mobile too. I guess the person is trying to call the occupant of the room. But he/she was being careful not to knock the door loudly. I always mind my business, I said to myself, why do I care, this is a hotel. So I attempted to close my door. But then, something occurred to me, the person is a female and she wore white shirt, exactly like my babe. Out of curiosity, I looked back what I saw made me sick for days. The memory keep hitting my heart like dagger.

It was my woman, I didn’t know she saw me and became frozen looking at me praying I do not look back. But I looked back and saw her. She was shaking with her mouth widely opened. Then while the looking competition was on, the door opened and the guy opened the door waiting for her to come inside, when she didn’t go inside, the guy must have noticed she is looking at someone on the walkway, the guy also came out to see who she was looking at, he saw me and quickly closed and jammed his door.

Then I jammed my door too. She stood on the walkway for 10minutes. Then she started banging on my door. Calling my line. I didn’t answer. She sent text and also whatsapp.

“Its not what you think. I can explain. Something came up. Please open…I need to discuss something with you. I will not leave if you don’t open”. She did all that for like 20minutes. Then she left. That was the end of our 1+year relationship. She too did not bother to call or text after that day.

The whole thing felt like sharp scorpion sting to me. I never believe what I saw. Anything relationship started irritating me. I don’t think I can go into relationship again. These people are quick to call men dogs, but they are public toilet. I prefer to be dog than be where everyone dump their sper_m.
You're a big simp my guy. Re-read the bolded part. How will you tell a woman that her menstruation is your joy? How will you tell her that she shouldn't worry about sex? Na then, she reason your matter come conclude say you be mumu man. In matters of sex, don't pity women else they'll consider you to be a weakling.
BusinessRe: Which Good Online Business Can I Start With 500k? by funnyDM: 9:08pm On Dec 24, 2021
objtech:
Please guys which good business online can I start with 500k apart from crypto and forex. Please I'm ready to give 5k to anybody that will tell me a good profitable business to do online. Please I don't need all this online investment scams. Thanks
Let me guide you bro. To earn legitimately online, you must

1) have a very good tech skill and be an expert on it.

2) understand business problems that require that your skill and how to solve those problems.

3) promote yourself through social media and a relevant portfolio.

Then will you make real money online. This is a solid principle I'm giving you you bro. So you don't need to waste your money on investment scams, all you need is a good working pc or laptop, stable electricity and internet data, coupled with the willingness to learn on your own. See, I hear people saying that 2022 will be a good year. I pray so too. But let me tell you what I see in 2022. There'll be high cost of goods, high inflation, and the naira becoming more useless. The only way to survive next year is to,

1) be a producer of goods and services.
2) earn in foreign currency like the US dollar.

In the end, I pity the working class who are earning below NGN100, 000 per month. So act fast bro.

If you need other guidance. Let me know. I'd be willing to help.
ProgrammingRe: Need A Python Developer To Work On A Few Problems by funnyDM: 9:18pm On Dec 08, 2021
Is it paid?
RomanceRe: I Toasted A Girl And She Sent This To Me! by funnyDM: 7:59pm On Dec 02, 2021
Datboredberry:
Yeah... Dreams are free... I'm glad in your fantasy world, you're generous... grin

Did I ask you if you date Nigerian girls? No one even cared until you decided to announce it. grin

My statement was simple:: Are you one of those bush black men who think dating outta their race is an achievement? undecided

You're one of the million people out there 'swirling'... It's no big deal...

But your mentality... Self-loathing is sad!
The guy na Yahoo boy wey cash out newly...
ProgrammingRe: E-commerce Site Needed by funnyDM: 6:35am On Nov 29, 2021
fnep2smooth:
I can create a functional e-commerce website for just 40k including domain and hosting. Currently we are offering 50% discount.
Why are some programmers this stupid? You'll build a functional e-commerce site with domain name and hosting for 40k?!! You dey craze? How much is a dollar to naira? Now convert 40k to dollars. Kai. Some people have poverty mentality built in their DNA.
EducationRe: Non Return Flap Valve Solution To Snake Problem In The Toilet (photos) by funnyDM: 8:40pm On Nov 25, 2021
To wade off snakes, apply hypo on your floors. They're allergic to the smell.
Literature/Writing AdsRe: Still Hiring Writers (Updated) by funnyDM: 2:02am On Nov 25, 2021
Hi.

I am a financial writer. I usually write on fintech and cryptocurrency. I'd like to know if the offer is still available. How do I contact you for samples of my work?
ProgrammingRe: Python Couldn't Install On My Laptop by funnyDM: 6:30pm On Nov 14, 2021
symbuul:
I'm trying to install python on my laptop but it is saying api-ms-win-crt-math-l1-1-0.dll is missing.
I have downloaded the api stuff(the 32bit and 64bit) and sent to it's different consoles but python is yet to install. I have even downloaded the C++ redistributable stuff, yet the issue persists.
Any solutions or alternative ways, please?
If you are using windows 7, just download python 3.4.

Newer versions of python runs on windows 8 and above.
BusinessRe: Which Good And Profitable Business Can I Start With 400k as a student by funnyDM: 6:41pm On Nov 08, 2021
Tejumola856:
In my school, most of the niggas don’t buy Aba made you just have to sell quality clothes and advertise it with marketing strategies.
What of boxers, pant boxers and the rest?
BusinessRe: Which Good And Profitable Business Can I Start With 400k as a student by funnyDM: 6:00pm On Nov 08, 2021
Tejumola856:
I think this is a good advice. I’m an engineering I learned phone engineering for 2 years before I gained admission into university but it’s difficult for me to start a phone accessories business because my boss aren’t selling so I don’t know where to start.
Use 200k and buy Usdt. It's a crypto form for US dollars. Just keep it till next year. You'll be surprised at how much it will earn you.

Secondly, you see these Aba-made polos and shorts? They sell like crazy! You can buy and market them at your school. You can also buy and market boxers and undies for boys and girls, and rake your money!

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