₦airaland Forum

Would love smack Beyonce's buttockz 4 being committed 2 Illuminati

ITbomb: That picture na since 2006. I believe he is getting uglier or fatter with pot belly now

lolz
u might b wrong. He cud b into yoga or workoutz!

Though being a celeb is cute buh it cud b frustrating @timez. Probably seun is following d yoruba saying 'Ilesanmi dun joye' or mayb sumoda reasonz best known 2 him. Am sure dat if he wantz d status of a celeb, he would get it.
Dunno rilli knw him, buh metink he's humble. He wantz a normal/average life.

To Package urself no be crime... New JOB TITLES!:
*Gardener : Landscape Executive Officer (LEO)
*House Maid : House Upkeep Manager (HUM)
*Receptionist : Office Access Control Manager (OACM)
*Typist : Printed Document Handler (PDH)
*Messenger : Business Communications Conveyor Specialist (BCCS)
*Window Cleaner : Transparent Wall Technician (TWT)
*Temporary Teacher : Associate Tutor (AT)
*Tea Boy : Refreshment Specialist (RS)
*Garbage Collector : Public Sanitation Engineer(PSE)
*Watchman : Theft Prevention & Surveillance Officer (TPSO)
*Thief : Wealth re-Distribution Expert (WrDE)
*Driver : Automobile Propulsion Specialist (APS)
*Maid : Domestic Operations Specialist (DOS)
*Employee without Portfolio : Administration Manager (AM)
*Cook : Gastrointestina l Nourishment Management Executive(GNMO)
*Barber: Dead Scalp Cells Removal Specialist (DSCRS)
Do Not Forget *Unemployed : Town Surveyor (TS)
*Gossip : Research & Communications Manager (RCM).
*Bad Belle pple: Research, Analysis & Criticism Specialist (RACS)
*Prostitutes: Temporary Spouse Replacement &Care-Giving Executive (TSRCE)
*Local Drunk: Alcohol Testing & Maintenance Executive (ATME)
*Mechanic: Automotive Fault Tracing & Correction Engineer (AFTCE)
*Tailor: Couture Fabrication Specialist (CFS)
*Politician: Public Funds Diversion Expert (PFDE)
*Yahoo boy: International Wealth re-Distribution Consultant (IWDC)
*Assassin: Human Population Control Officer (HPCO)

freecocoa: The only way I'm paying for any celeb's clothe is if its in an okrika shop and its being sold for the normal price, nothing more.

true talk

jhydebaba: OP, ghost as in this

is dis d kinda ghost u alwyz c?

anitank: They were probably in a family meeting they couldn't make it to the market that saturday

i saw dis coming!

anitank: That's scary
I purposely stay up late sometimes hoping to see my late fiance's ghost, but it never comes
I honestly don't know how I'd react when I see his ghost but I also want to find out

perhapz, u were expecting sum flowerz 4rm him

pastormustwacc: Well, i am not looking for a ghost.

But walahi, any GHOST i see, i shall bind it immediately. If it is a good ghost, i will only untie the mouth and ask it to deliver its message fast and be on its way.

If it is a bad ghost - well, i will bind it and tie it into a bottle, and sell it off as a JINI in alaba-international market.

Ghosts: be warned, and STAY OFF MY ZONE!

c dis 1 o...na bcoz u neva c 1 b4 na im dey make u make mouth. Am damn sure dat u will dance Azonto if u c 1

born2fuck: hope say, Yaba left don dey enter dis matter

me 2 don dey wonder o...d tin funny but d level which dem cum dey showcase dat huge teeth dey make person cum dey wonder if yaba neva full!

Season 2
A Nigerian man called his mum 4rm usa
man: mum, i av AIDS
mother: heee..... Chineke! Dont com bak home oooo!
Man: why mama,why nw??
Mother: heey u foolish boy! U see, if u com bak home,den ur wife ll b infectd.4rm ur wife to ur broda,4rm ur broda to our maid,4rm our maid to ur daddy 4rm ur daddy to my sister,4rm my sister to her husband,4rm him to me, 4rm me to d gardener,4rm d gardener to ur sister. And if ur sister get AIDS heeey,then d whole village is in trouble oooo!
So im beggin u in d name of God
PLS SAVE OUR VILLAGE oooo!
Dont com bak home ooo

fizzy rodrigo: Gialmine, na bible you dey write ?

nah, Na dictionary!

Tascocent: U try sha..........but i noo just laff.

perhapz, u ar hidin ur teeth

[quote author=MOGUL.O]Bery Bery punny....................................................................[/quote]

Lagusta: Nice joke, nice signature.....

tnkz boo

prettiest1: Just yesterday, I found strands of hair in the fufu I was eating.
spoilt perewinkle. Ants.
Maggi in the soup, I slept without eating that night. Hook.

u found all this on top one meal?
Datz pathetic!

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.
They finally get her into the
president's office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk.
The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."
The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet." The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?" "Sure," says the president. That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet. The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet
again and the old lady asks him to
drop his pants so they can see. The president does this. The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them. "Well, OK" says the president, "$25 000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure ." Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?" She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!"

Dopefiend: Perhaps d gecko ws diced

Found bullet in ma beans jst lastnite

bulletz ke? Na war front u dey? If no, dat 1 na 1st class lie o:/

SOUTH SOUTH: THERE WAS SOMETHING I ATE IN ONE OF MY MEALS SOMETIME LAST YEAR WHICH I WILL NEVER FORGET IN A HURRY, IT WAS A GOAT PENIS !! I ATE IT HALF WAY BEFORE REALIZING IT.. IT WAS TERRIBLE, THOUGH IT WAS SWEET..

u don chop pri..ck b dat. D tin sweet u? Am sure sey guyz own go dey sweeter. Guyz pull ur pantz down!

Yomieluv: I've seen spirit in the water I wanted to drink before.

uhm? Dat 1 cwious o! U no cum go church ni?

daisyella: Hate †ђξ poster not †ђξ topic

onila, y ya enemies plenty lyk dis?
Y pple cum h8 u lyk dis?

passionate88: you!.. Get gud eyes?.. I laff in swahili

c fool. Im dey laugh...wetin dey funny?
Aw many megabytes ur brain dey use? Am sure dey ar not even up to 128mb; dat ya tiny skull don full because of ur limited memory, ur oblongata cum dey misfunction. Smh

passionate88: you!.. Get gud eyes?.. I laff in swahili

c fool. Im dey laugh...wetin dey funny?
Aw many megabytes ur brain dey use? Am sure dey ar not even up to 128mb; because u dont ve enough memory upstairs, ur oblongata cum dey misfunction. Smh

freecocoa: Even is na arsene wenger go score am sef, we must win anyhow.

Na so o

Idowuogbo: Mother? So d cowbell u drink wen u b pikin no reach u abi?

oh yeah! If d tin dey reach person, metink, boiz no go dey su..ck their gf's own again.
Besides, no b only milk person mama dey give am.

AMA NEWBIE!!!
i like Slimyem, Freecocoa, Rokiatu and u! Will u b my Nairaland mothers?