₦airaland Forum

This one is looking for a girl to deceive or probably traffic for a sinister motive.

The fact he gave out info on "relocating abroad" has dimmed his quest suspicious. he's using the "abroad" as a bait to lure an innocent gullible girl into an unforseen plan only God knows.

Real "abroad" people won't come online to solicit for a wife; they would be weary of coming into a scammer or imposter.

There're family members he could ask to look for a wife for him, there're friends, relatives but he choose to come here?

His plans of taking good care of the "girl" is suspicious. who goes about telling an intending stranger that they will take care of them? it's too good to be true.

Y'all better becareful. Don't let greed to land you in trouble. once it's too good, then something might be fishy. think thoroughly before sending this unknown man a D.M

Aimere:
Thank you so much. She's even back here, mtcheew. I've heard you. I might have been in a haste.

you're in an abusive relationship but you don't know it yet. the way he undermines your feelings and doesn't in anyway put himself in your shoes to process your emotions is very alarming.

On no account should he had slapped you if he really cares. you're apologizing and feelinh you caused his outburst even though you're the victim.

you need to leave. The red flags are very glaring to the blind, he's not the one for you.

Good for him. he should pay for his crimes, had it not been he was caught he would have continued molesting the girl with full pleasure. such a disgraceful end , if only he had resisted the devil.

mariahAngel:
I get.
Tell her you hold nothing against her, but that you need your space for now.
You'll come around, when you come around.
If not, make everybody dey their lane.

OK. Thank you so much for the kind words. I really need my space.

mariahAngel:
The daughter was certainly stupid for opening her big mouth, and caused so much trouble, especially for her mum.
So as old as she is, she does not yet know how to cover for her mum, even if the mum told her that? Tozo girl!
Nowadays, even 8yr olds know how to sensibly cover for their parents.

Maybe it's God who is exposing all these things who knows? Water dropped down my eyes. I'm the only child of my mom so I always like giving my all into anyone I love which doesn't even benefits me in anyway.

Check my post you would see how I even cut off my step sister. I give with all my soul but it always backfires. I'm guessing they're coming to me now cos I do care for them not cos they care about me.

I've cut everyone off. I will do my goodwill to the orphanage homes. I don't want anyone around me no more.

Her children even bring their friends to my house too. If I'm a monster would they be comfortable in my house to bring their friends?
Its OK. It's well. I'm not looking for pity. I'm just wondering why I never get the love I give all my life.

mariahAngel:
Is she sexually active already?
Did you ask her?

Also, did you ask the mum what her daughter said about not going on errands, just to confirm?

She's a virgin and I'm keeping my eyes on her. The mother is too busy looking for her daily bread to give her the needed attention she needs.

The mother said she told her daughter to come to me but the child wanted to come with her friends which she refused. She wanted her to see me alone but the child was adamant she would come with her friends.

She's pleading I should forget and forgive. But all the words they have said here that I'm taking advantage of them has made me not want to be involved in their lives.

Kkins25 thanks for your support.
All those who uplifted my spirit thanks.

The mother has cleared the air.

I still don't want to be closed to her children or her. I'm thoroughly shaken by the turn of events. I need my own space for my mental health.

I heard the father beat the child who refused to come to me. I don't want that.

All this is even making me emotional. I don't know who's lying between the mother or child.

I'm happy to hear I'm the only person in the neighborhood who has taken care of her children and they love coming to my house. At least I take some comfort in knowing the kids were happy. May God bless everyone.
It is well.

The things they even buy for me its what I used to Cook for them to eat which I eat along too. She said I should forget everything.

The 13yr old daughter I'm even teaching her about her menses flow and circle. Her mother didn't teach her that and she told me she missed her period and she's scared of telling her mom. It was me who calmed her down. Told her it's normal for her age as her body has not regulated yet to be having regular periods.

It was me she ran to tell her period has come as I promised. She was scared of being pregnant. Do I look like one who has been taken advantage of her children? If i was some monster as being painted here would her children come to me on their own?

Well. Life is deep. Please whatever you're doing to help people always look after your own self cos the narrative may change tomorrow that you're the bad one.

That her kids love coming to me cos I care for them. She gave instances of a woman who would call her 13yr old daughter to grind pepper/ wash clothes and do all sorts of errands but this Lady has not given her children 1kobo.

She said I don't stress her children or leave them hungry. That the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

I just began thanking God from my heart that her mother said all these from her mouth. Life is deep o.
These children I care for them like my own/ gave clothes and food. They're never hungry in my house and I always feel happy when they're eating to satisfaction cos I have a conscience.
You see that it was her children who came on their own this morning to meet me. I didn't call anyone to come to meet me God is my witness

Na wa o. This life one has to use sense o. I'm happy I brought the matter here cos the words people have used to described were shocking.

Her children came to meet me this morning that they wanna help me with chores and I refused. I asked them to go back home.

Few minutes later the mother came to my house requesting why I've been ignoring her calls. I told her I don't want anything to do with her or her children as I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of her kids or sending them errands.

She said I'm the only one since they have moved here who has taken care of her kids. That people send them errands a lot and don't even give the kids food or money for the work they do.

Brandiebird:
Wow! So you want the children to clean your house too! Let me tell you; Yes! It’s a crime for them to wash your dishes, and run “errands” for you.

A mother is protecting her children and you’re here ranting about why you should be able to exploit them! You sound predatory! It’s disgusting! They were living just fine before you came in to their lives and they will be fine when you see yourself out.

after eating they litter the ground with food particles so they have to sweep up. so I'd wash the plates they used in eating? tell me you're joking. plates they used to eat, they can't wash? what kind of home training is that ? you eat at someone's house and you would leave dish for the person to wash for you?

I'm exploiting her children how? pls go and read the meaning of exploit before you say what you don't know.

buy me ingredients that i will use in cooking for us to eat together is what you call exploit?

Nigga44:
Abeg keep your yeye fried egg to yourself.

Just because of the little help you provide for a fellow woman in need..... that's why you want to convert her kids to your slaves. And the arrogance you exude is irritating You're not God! That woman has been surviving before you came to that area, and God will always make ways for her.

Calling her on the phone to send her kid to you for errands is insulting. But I guess you're doing that cos you feel you earned that cos you provide fried eggs

This life. me that someone bought pizza to eat for the first time nko? till today I'm still grateful. I will never play God on anyone. I just want them to leave me alone, she shouldn't be calling me. no be by force to do friendship that you will be using to Judge me in the back.

That's why people don't help, it backfires. and you cant even feel hurt when you're wrong cos the world suddenly reminds you that you're arrogant and wicked.

omo.. make everybody dem dey. I have left them and I want them to leave me too.

dominique:
The thing is you feel since you assist them from time to time, you have earned the rights to send her children on errands. She feels it's because of the help you render to them is the reason you want to turn her children to your helps. There's nothing wrong with sending kids on errands once a while, we also ran errands for adults as kids but calling your friend to send her child on errand looks somehow. I can't imagine calling anybody to send their child(ren) on errands. It's very belittling tbh

we talk on phone. she would call me to know if I'm at home that she's sending her child to get something from me. we usually talk on phone for quicker access .most times I'm not home and she may not be at home too.

Fountainofyouth:
Madam, you are not the first person that has helped people before neither will you be the last, it is not an achievement, it is an act of selflessness to get nothing in return, genuine help is not a give and take situation, do not expect anything because you helped people, you are not humble, you are arrogant and entitled, you feel because you help people, they should answer you in quick haste when you call, imagine calling a mother to send one of her kids to you errands, like say na maid, what happen to your legs? Can't you run your errands yourself whether it is near, far, or the streets? The effontery to do that is because you feel they are at your mercy, meaning your help and care is not genuine, it is from a place of servitude, you demand a lot in return which is very bad

Your first bolded, I don't know why you feel the need to tell us that story, so because a friend helped you, and you choose to serve and worship her, that means people you help MUST also serve and worship you abi? Is that what you're trying to insinuate and expect from that woman? You feel you're her human god bevause you helped her abi? Who thinks like this in this 21st century? That's a silly mentality, very silly, disgusting and stupid thinking.....let me stop here

The last bolded shows how extremely petty you are, you sound like those street gossips that when told to narrate her side of the story, she'd twist things for people to sympathise with her, what has being childless got to do with a mother's preference on her own children? Why do you feel threatened by that all of a sudden? People have pointed out your fault here, yet you feel you're right, why do you choose to be blind to your own faults?

you must be very stupid. I mentioned my friend to show you I'm not an arrogant person. this girl moved heaven and earth for me, all I did for her is not enough to show how appreciative I am.

I'm not feeling like a god over anyone and I would never do that. Loyalty is a character I've learnt early in my life which has benefited me.

I have stayed with a friend for 7months. I reduced myself to a housegirl , both the senior daughters and her mother was sending me errands left and right I never complained but when I left , I was gifted 500k and the senior brother gave me 100k cos they came from a rich family and my family is not rich o. imagine if i had felt too big to run errands for them, would I have benefited? does it mean their love isn t genuine? I got admission into school, dem still help me. infact my parents didn't pay school fees.

see even davido get loyal men wey dey follow am and enjoy from the loyalty. comot pride from body for this life cos you never can tell where your help will come from. Tinubu became almost like a slave to the north to gain power.

I'm a loyalist to the core and I've benefited from it. One mama i dey always dey around , she owns a plaintain farm. I don't buy plantain in the market cos once I call mama she sends me all cos I've paid my dues.

As for calling my friend to send her child to me, we call on phone ok? when she wants to send her child to me she would call to know if I'm home. so we talk on phone for quicker access.

well I've left them so it doesn't look I'm turning them to my slaves or feeling big for them but I want her to stop calling me. I am not interested in any friendship again.

As I am here, I'm a girl- girl to a lot of older people and it's benefiting me. I will never raise shoulder in my life. where I am today in life is as a result of humility and God's grace.

Fountainofyouth:
This OP is something else, so because you are helping them means they should be at your beck and call, truly nothing is free in freeland, very petty Op, see how she's mentioning all she has done for them as if she was forced to do it, see the way she's even defending her disgusting behaviour, na wa.

Pls just go away. it's easier to Judge when you don't know where it pitches me. I was helped by a friend , I do things for her like sweeping her house before she comes from work, making sure things are in order. on her marriage day I became a maid working nonstop just to please her on the big day as a way of being extremely thankful for all she has done for me.

You're feeling too big allow your kids assist somome who has been supportive to you, but you don't want to let the person leave you. what's the point ?

I'm a very humble person and I'd continue to be so. I'm happy she felt I'm disturbing her children. I've left them.

The lesson I've learnt from this is how important for one to have children in this life. my heart goes to the childless women, I pray God give them children of their own cos omo.. who no get pikin go suffer for this life no be small.

dominique:
I just don't like this idea of sending other people's children on errands. Nothing causes friction between friends than one sending the other's child(ren) on errands. That you assist your friend from time to time doesn't mean it's a ticket for you to order her children about. It will start looking like you're looking down on them.

I've left her na. why is she now calling me? same children that wakes me up in the morning from bed when I'm asleep and I'd attend to them?

it's ok to feel it's her children but what about the discomforts I've been through for them but I never nag about it? not like I call the kids daily to run errands for me cos they go to school. I don't send them message 24/7.

If someone does something for you, is it bad if you reciprocate in any small way?

ahnie:
Just learn to mind your lane and keep them at arms length,nor be everybody dem dey do good for.

The truth's she's not comfy with you around her and judging by her situation.
It's Gon hurt you for few days,trust me you Gon be fyne dear.

thank you my isoko sister. I don leave her and her children

GboyegaD:
Why not talk to the mother before concluding and blocking her number? Most importantly, try to think of the kind of aura you unleash around her. This I believe might help you see things from a clearer perspective.

she never spoke to me about not sending her children message so why should I speak to her about it?

I'm just wondering the other things she might be saying behind my back. I don't give bad aura o.. atleast to my best knowledge. I'm the one who usually tell her I don't care about her house.

GabrielYulaw:
That woman is not your friend. If I were you, I would be wary of her. If you must help, do so from afar and make sure her kids no longer come to your house for any reason.

they no longer come to my house. I told them that day i will no longer call them for anything. it's all good. she is calling me but I don't want to pick her calls. she should leave me alone.

I don't want to be around her kids or her

eniolorunfe:
People can only be friends when they have similar values and shared interests. That she was your childhood friend doesn’t mean she has to be your “adulthood” friend. People change… that’s life… no big deal!

Learn the lessons and move on.

20 friends cannot be friends for 20 years!

That's what I've been thinking. even the children I do drive them to go home cos they like coming to my house a lot. so it's not I'm using them as I want.

If they can assist me to run small errands what's bad? is life not give and take?

why do they feel they're entittled to me but I can't ask them to assist me buy tomatoes.

Don't we all send little kids on small errands like "buy me Maggie or salt "? we were sent errands when we were small nobody complained.

Kobojunkie:
So, the friendship hasn't benefited you at all since secondary school, then why have you been holding on to it? To make yourself feel good by claiming you are better than her? Or what?

you asked a question and I answered you, then you would go and twist it to your own distorted level of devishlish thinking to suit your narrative.

I'm not answering you again, don't ask me any more questions. your record of prolonging arguments has not been broken by anyone. even if you have to sound silly and ask the most useless questions to gain points you would continue forever so I don't have your time.

I don't have any more answers to suit your narrative. You will find more luck in digging the desert for water than you would in getting any more response from me.

Kobojunkie:
I never understood that culture of begging but I know it seems to be what adults do on behalf of other adults and no one seems to complain much of it so I have no real comments on that.

2. I am here wondering why you think you are a "genuine" friend to your friend.

what has she done for me that has benefited me in this friendship ? nothing! so who has been more caring to he other ? right from secondary school I've been the caring one. no be today

Offpointng:
I did this and that for her, Oga shut up.

If na ur children dem dey send anyhow like that, u go like am? You feel entitled to it cuz you gift them things??

You're Rude and she should even be the one to cut you off

.

na her children, I am not dragging her children but she shouldn't send them to me again. that's all I'm saying. whenever the children comes to me I'd send them back home. message that they don't move past the street, in change of the money I give them to buy something for themselves so who is losing more ? I'm the one losing more.

Kobojunkie:
1. They are her children and she has right to send them anywhere she wishes; you do not.

2. OH wow!! how loving of you, not!

3. She begged your opponent ON YOUR BEHALF and that was a problem for you too?

4. Tor!

5. Some people like too much drama for this life!

which friend goes to beg on behalf of their friends without hearing from the friend ? without showing concern too for the same friend ? who ignores a friend while gives attention to the person making trouble to her friend?

and you want me to believe she's genuine for me right? kobokunkie move on abeg.. your reasoning dey vex me

Kobojunkie:
Look, those children are not your ward and so you don't actually have the legal right to send them to do anything outside of your home to do anything for you without explicit permission from their mother. So, you fuming that because in your mind you do so much and so should be able to send them on errands only reveals your intentions may not have been as real as you originally made it seem in your OP.

Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes for a bit. Would you be happy having other people send your children on errands you are not aware of or given approval for?

but I should run errands for them abi? who eats the food i sent them ingredients to buy? ordinary to buy tomatoes and fish to cook food they will end up eating is now a crime abi??

If they help wash plates they used in eating or sweep house is such a big crime right? on top me that entered kitchen to cook for them. I swear the mother can't do such for my kids the way I treat hers with care.

abeg get out my front ... I don't have your time.

Stevenbright:
Get the picture right! Two things are likely involved here.

1. She is not too comfortable with you in her place because she felt it is not good enough, reason why she kept saying those things. You could have told her you understand how things are not really easy right now and that as for her house, you understand that children can be so playful and in the process scattering things but don't use the word "messy" like you did here. This will help her relaxed, free her mind and hence making her comfortable having you around.

2. As for the daughter not coming to you when you requested, if truely she is the one who stopped her, then she is feeling as though it is because you are being of help to them, that is why you want to start using her children the way you seem fit. But then, she should have understand the fact, that is how life works. As the saying goes, iron sharpens iron...

Just go low. Helping some people resents them because it reminds them that they are needy and that the other person is better than them.

but if she needs something from me she sends same children to come to me right? I don't want to go into great details what I did for them and plans i intend to do for them. they don't have chairs in their house, they use bench. I have 4 sitter leather chairs , I was thinking of giving her one the same day the daughter told me what her mother said.

There was other things that happened. I had a quarrel with someone it got heated and drew crowds. this my so called friend came and was begging my opponent to be calmed while she totally ignored me. it was when I called her on phone she then pacified me.

I went to see her one day and she told me she went to beg the woman the next morning. I was like what ? did I ask you to do that? while she never visited me to discussed the issue or hear my side of story till date.

I'm feeling weird that she doesn't take me as a friend as I take her to be.

wunmi590:
What if her daughter is lieing? Just to cover for her own lie for not coming to your place, because tye daughter knows you might not ask her mother...

You know these kids these days over do things just to implicate their parent...

If truly her mother said so, I'm sure the children wouldn't have been to your place again to eat...

Just don't take what thr girl said, continue doing what you feel you can...


Next time, call her again and pretend you want to send her daughter and see her reaction, and you might even tell her if sending her is not fine, she shouldn't worry and see her next response....

the other small child confirmed that the mother said it. she has been calling me due to her conscience biting her but i won't pick her calls.

I'm not a fool. I wish you good with all my heart but you want to use your children to do wicked against me in your heart.

ahnie:
Ginaz she simply doesn't like you sending her kids on errands.so I'll suggest you cut them off!
Kindly keep your distance.i would also suggest you buy your foodstuffs in bulk if need be.

I've kept my distance o. do you know this same daughter i wanted to send message has never eaten fried egg with bread and tea? I personally prepared breakfast for her and we ate together with her own fried eggs. I didnt share it so she would experience how delicious the meal was.

Infact the thing pain me cos God knows all my heart's intention is good. wenti be message wey you come dey provoke for me?

me that enters my kitchen to prepare food for your children to eat, I even give you join. I don't have sense abi ? or I'm a mugu right?

olatuneji:
It's wrong.
It's not okay, no matter what you have done for then, if it were me, I won't be happy with you.
If it's once in a blue moon it's still OK but constantly sending them on an errand mehn! Me can't take it.

it's not everyday o. well, I've heard. Let the mother not send the same children to me to ask me for anything .

talented321:
What if the child is lying, madam life deep, okay.
You don't just cut off from people like that, just make ur findings more clear about their interest toward u..

what will the child gain from lying against her mother ? this friendship is one sided.

abeg I dey my own. I'm even happy the child told me her mother refused her to come to me. she should not send her children to me to make any monetary request. I don't want to hear anything

Kobojunkie:
1. It is OK that they come to your house by themselves but sending them on errands outside of your house that they came to? No!

sending them message is wrong but they can eat my food, request for things which I provide, scatter my house and spoil my things. little message to buy me fried fish or fresh tomatoes now at front of the street is a crime.