₦airaland Forum

tpbm loves to have fun

ok..This Rochas Okorocha is a very lucky man. He boarded the same plane to Abuja. And this same plane had been giving problems right from when they were about to land at Abuja airport. It was now during the flight to Port-harcourt (he wasn't there this time), when it had almost landed, that the crash occured.

I heard that the Pilot of the plane insisted at all cost that the plane engineer should be inside the plane with them. I think the plane engineer assured them that everything had been checked and that it was going to be alright. But the pilot knew something wasn't right.

Alheri, who are the children?

The G.O of MFM boarded the same plane to Abuja but sensed something was wrong with the plane (he wasn't so sure).

Layi: here

don't u know that where elders are talking, children aren't meant to interfere?

Yoruba is the easiest language to speak.

I heard that too on CNN.

@wesley, Se goodnews bible?

who put ur own mouth?

@wesley: Emi ni yen! So kilon happen? O ti gbo nipa plane crash to sele lana??

am i supposed to answer that?

wow!! so u do speak yoruba. waa de maa se bi eni pe omo america ni e

why goodguy? why don't u ask queenzy?

bawo ni wesley? o ti pe ti mo ti ba e soro.

kini iyawo mi se fun yin??

@nike, kini iwo ati wife mi ni papo?

@queen, se o le ka yoruba ni?

I'm thinking Life's good

Awon omode yii sha

I'm only reporting what I heard.

What's crazy abt that?

Prada, bawo ni? Kaabo si ile naira.

There were seven survivors. Out of the Seven, two died this morning. Unfortunately, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya was one of them.

(So I heard).

Saddam Hussain just killed his new wife because he raised up her skirt and saw BUSH!!!

One day in Lagos, in the public transport commonly called "MOLUE", a certain bad odour emanated from an unknown passenger. As the oduor was spreading, the other passengers started passing comments and curses on the person that produced that odour:

"E no go beta for di person... ";

" U go die young o..."

and all that.

After the wailing died down, an elderly man stood up, cleared his throat and said:

"I belched, all of you are raining curses on me, now its time for me to fart!"

Unknown to most, as Pope John Paul II was dying, he sent a message to Babangida and Alamieyeseigha (one a Christian and one a Muslim) to come to his home in the Vatican. They were very surprised at this unexpected invitation, but they quickly packed their bags and set off for the Vatican via Rome. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the clergyman held out his hands and motioned to them to sit on each side of the bed. When they did the Pontiff grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For some time, no one said anything. Both Babanigida and Alamieyeseigha were touched and flattered that the old Pope would ask them to be with him during his final moment. Babangida being a Muslim was even more flattered that the Holy Father would invite someone of another faith to be with him at such critical hour. They were also puzzled because the Pope had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them. Finally, Babangida, tired of the silence, asked, "Fada, for what did you husk de two of huss to come here?" The old Pope mustered up some strength, raised his head slightly to get a good look at the two Nigerians and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go."

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God...

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never
done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision." "Fine, but where should I go first?" God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you." Bill said, "OK, then, let's try hell first." So Bill went to Hell.

It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!" "Fine," said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell" he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So
Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst
the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God said, "That was the screen saver".

Someone just told me few minutes ago too that Bimbo Odukoya was involved in the crash.

I know some girls drink and get drunk. But on nairaland, we have people like that too??

Happy birthday, Nana.

There was this blind beggar in a city in Nigeria that is always sitting by the road side along a street where a young British lady lives. The Briton, seeing him(the beggar) everyday she goes to work, was moved with pity for him. So she decided to help the blind beggar.

The following day, she approached the beggar and asked him:"If I give you money to go for a medical check-up and perhaps you have your eye problem corrected, will you stop begging and find yourself a better job to do?" The beggar answered in the affirmative. So the Briton handed him some money, told him to go for the check-up and come back to collect more money for the treatment.

After a couple of weeks, the British lady had a knock on her door as she was just coming out of the bathroom. When she asked who it was, she heard the blind beggars voice and recognized it. Then she realized that she was stack naked - I mean on her bath day suit. She thought to herself:"Oh well, he is blind and probably came to collect the money for the treatment. That means he can't see me. So rather than dressing up first, why don't I just attend to him quickly and then I will dress up later." When she opened the door, the following discussion ensued:

BLIND BEGGAR: Good morning madam!

BRITISH LADY: Good morning to you too! And how did it go with the medical check-up? Did the doctor offer you any hope?

BLIND BEGGAR: Infact madam, I came to thank you for your kindness. The doctor did not only give me hope but made me believe that the money you gave me was even more than enough to go ahead with the treatment.

BRITISH LADY: And so what did you do?

BLIND BEGGAR: And so I got the treatment at once.

BRITISH LADY: So, how is your sight?

BLIND BEGGAR: I can see!

BRITISH LADY: You mean that you can see me now?

BLIND BEGGAR: Yes madam. Very very well. As clear as crystal. Infact, in living colours.

The little boy asks his father, "Daddy, how was I born?"

Dad says, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will find out anyway! Well, you see, your mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then we set up a date via e-mail and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the Delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared, saying:

"You've Got Male."