₦airaland Forum

JASONjnr:
Good for you...

Always go for ladies you're far older than... Say 5 to 6yrs older than..

That way, you will be in control of the relationship and not give a 2oman the chance to always talk down on you because she will always see herself as someone that you should be calling aunty...

It is well

crackhaus:
She doesn't love you enough.

Please NOTE, it's not that she doesn't love you. It's that she simply doesn't love you enough.
Some women have this issue, nothing new.

Just start moving on and have it at the back of your mind that henceforth, you will be dating yourself even if she claims she has forgiven you and wants to be with you.

thanks

mardis:
You talk too much, must you tell everyone she is older than you? If she was younger would you still go about telling people that? It is very immature of you gaskiya.

Is her age my problem?, Do I care about that?

kaboninc:
She wants to end the relationship. Please let go.

my mind......

VlamesIffect:
why you sef no lock up...you dey talk too much....

See ehn I've dated ladies wey i senior...even when they later find out them no believe all na maturity...babe wey dey look up to me as her elder brother...the respect ehn, even till today....when she found out say she use 3 years senior me.... she was on my laps.....she no fit stand up...but it is what it is.....if you were mature enough i assure you it wouldn't have made a difference.....women love a man that is in control that's all....have money or not be a man & be in control & no dey talk too much.....

As e be now...if i be you i go sit her down talk sense into her head....then leave am no push am....if she no respond take am as loss but learn from am no fvck up next time...

Please am not playing games with her
Am not decieving her or hiding our age

Open the link on the post
Bet me you will be back here to edit your comment

sisisioge:


You guys will not kill me. It is a sensitive matter for her....bad enough that she got into it without knowing, worse that you're discussing it with your friends. I remember mistakenly dating a guy who is 2yrs younger. We are in the same professional space and he is way better than me. We had been at this date me I no date you I date you briefly for about 8yrs before he came clean with the age difference thing to me. It was mad o....I just dont like the idea of being older than him even though it didnt seem so and I never suspected for 8years! The moment he told me, I just wasnt really interested anymore. Yes it is silly but it is what it is.

Biko stop discussing the matter with people...she sef should stop dating children . Sorry, had to throw that punch in so you could see how it feels

Sis Oge, throw more punch, chuckles
She clearly know the age and everything before anything
Don't play victim card on her behalf

I didn't discuss her age if you read well
She is older than me and never her age

Ancient human
I greet you

BabbanBura:
She doesn't love you enough, otherwise it won't matter to her whatever anyone will say about her marrying you.

Do not sweat it to makes thing woo, if you try to make her understand the age thing doesn't matter to u but she won't buckle, then let her be. Otherwise you are surrendering your power (not both the man and woman have unique powers that ensure peace and harmony in the home) to her, and if that happens, you will greatly regret marrying an older woman.

I have seen older and / or richer women marrying younger and / or mean with lesser dough and they are leaving peacefully. So to me, nothing wrong marrying a lady older that me!

I have done well to explain to her that it means nothing if she really love me

She hide all these from her friends too

JASONjnr:
Older single ladies tends to have this issues ... They always feel like they're making a mistake or that they are not in the right relationship...

The age differences will always be a problem regardless...


If she's willing to let down her guts and behave like she's your mate.. only then will the both of you move smoothly..

Buy from her replies... and you admitting that it's all your fault.. then you're a simp... A very bold simp..

OP work on your self esteem and learn to keep your relationship talks to yourself and not discuss it to your friends...

Coming to visit you will be difficult for her as she will feel that 5jose guys will begin to see her as a desperate lady trying to clinch on younger guys just to get married...

I have relocated from East where these guys are to Lagos now
I am not with these people and we don't keep in touch

Never did I agreed that I am at fault
As it stands now

I will go straight to the point and make this brief. Recall this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6990203/should-marry
On March this year I got a job as ICT officer in a firm which made me move to Lagos ,we are super excited about this development and everything working out fine (No relationship is perfect, understanding kept us going)

I served in a university, towards completion of my service year, I accomodated a guy who got to know about us
One day we were in a arguement of dating or marrying someone older than you.
I stood my ground that I can marry irrespective of age, provided it is what I want
The guy came to conclusion that it seems my spouse is older than me, we laughed over it (That ends it)

Secondly my friend Davidson that live in the same compound who is done with his studies, working while waiting on NYSC.
I told him about my woman , how I love her and ready to settle down as soon as things go as planned for me (he have seen her visited once but they never met)
He asked me if she work, I told him
He asked of her age, I JUST TOLD HIM THAT SHE IS A BIT OLDER THA ME.

While discussing with my woman last night , I was assuring her how much I love her irrespective of anything then I pointed out the two above incidence
To my greatest surprise she became angry eith me
In her words
a) She detest dating underage, how she found herself in this mess she can't tell

b) I should go ahead and tell my mum and elder brother (they just talk via phone) and even all my friends

c) I make her look desperate, that she is loosing interest already

d) I insulted her and she can't trust me again

NOTE
a) I promised her that no one will know of the age difference even if they know she is older

b) I never mentioned her age to these people or the age gap

My crime is that I admitted that she is older and I am proud and love her wholeheartedly

I don't see this working out again
I feel so belittled
Gosh

CaptainAyub:
For me,d age gap is no biggie but eee,find something doing even if na keke driving b4 u marry her if not by 6 months after una marry,if na she de still sort your bills,insult go start.

Thanks so much

iamL:
When u are fortunate to met a gud person better don't let them go because good people are hard to come by when u are ready.

Work on your income then take your decision.

Thanks dear, working on the income which is the only problem now, we discussed already and we are working on either work or business

Thanks so much

mastermaestro:
You are joking, right? Dude needs a stable job or business before taking this leap. Living off a woman isn’t a life any wise man dreams of.

You are right, the only problem here is source of livinghood, working on that till next year

ezenwaez:
December stipend payment commenced today this morning, all Npower Batch C Volunteers should begin to receive credit alert payments, if you are yet to receive your payments please exercise patience as the payment is ongoing and every Npower Batch C Volunteer will receive his or her payment.
Please ignore what your payroll status is saying at the moment and focus on your bank credit alert, all October and November payment is treated and will be paid to all Npower Batch C Volunteers as backlogs, backlogs means payment arrears and will be treated as such.
If you have not yet received your October and November stipend please exercise patience as the payment issue is just recently worked on and it is ongoing and all Npower Batch C Volunteers yet to receive their October and November payment will be paid.

What is the fate of Non graduates

Lostchild:
Gosh234

You dey fear good woman?

You are afraid of a woman that is mature enough to handle you tenderly.

Wake up from your sleep and marry her

LostChild, just need to fix one or two things, mind made up already

emmaodet:
Gbam!!!!!!!!!!
You have given him a brotherly advice.
It is up to him to take it.

Nice advice up there, fixing and working things together with my woman

LilMissFavvy:
My uncle, his wife is older than him. They are still married till today, I have mentioned this my uncle with his older wife severally on this forum. Personally in the past I dated a younger man, without knowing. He hid his age from me. Of course I told him my age early enough, so because he knew I was 2yrs older he refused to tell me his age. Later he said he was the same age with me. Later he began to dribble that age is just a number. I finally found out he was younger. I kept calm because I knew genuine love was what made him hide his age. My carelessness and unforgiveness over a very minor offense he committed is what made me break that engagement I don't have regrets anyway, cuz I moved on. If my brother were to be in the OP's situation, I would find out if she's truly a good lady, don't ask me how I would find out, I know how to. If she is good, then I'd be in support.

Thank you so much dear

LilMissFavvy:
Her age is never a problem? But in your other thread you mentioned her age as a problem, wondering what your parents would say.

The fact is that some ladies do contribute to foot their marriage ceremony, however, bride price is symbolic and should only be paid by the man (you). If indeed you were serious about marrying her you would have asked her to give you like a year or two years to hussle for bride price and probably look for a job. She's the one in love and would wait for you. I believe if she decides to give you time to hussle for a job, you will feel she's putting you under pressure, so better you call off the relationship.

I believe you may still be lucky to meet a younger lady who ticks the qualities you like in future. All will be well, good luck.

Thanks ma

Kobojunkie:
See, there are not formulaes set in stone as far as relationships are concerned so it is wrong to assume we are all has to follow a set footprint in these things.

Your woman there seems to even be the ticket to you gaining income right after graduation there, something most men can never fathom ever happening to them or doing, so it is up to you to decide whether she is a keeper or not. I wish you the very best in your life and I hope it works out for the both of you either way you chose to go.

Thanks

LilMissFavvy:
Your woman is the one who needs advice, not you. You do not love her, if you did, you would be talking about not having a source of income/how to pay bride price, and NOT HER AGE. Of course by now a lot of people have seen men who married older wives, and have successful marriages. Just last week, there was a thread on front page, where world billionaire footballers were listed, and their older wives. Some have been married to their older wives for 10yrs plus, some of these men married when they were your age. yet their wives all look young, none looked older than their husbands. Check the thread, Shakira was among . Your woman needs advice, prayers, etc. She's a big-fooool in love. I personally have seen many ladies who married above 30yrs, and I believe she definitely has suitors, yet she's foolishly in love with you. Pls save her and bring her back to reality, by ending the relationship asap, when you leave her, she will get serious with another man. A good mature husband covers his wife's flaws, but you are already prepared to go and announce your woman's age to your family. Pls end the relationship.

This is how ladies bring problems to themselves, wasting one year plus, dating a man, when she knew he wasn't interested in marriage? A relationship that is totally USELESS to her.

Her AGE is never the problem here, mentioning it here is for better understanding of the readers, the problem here is source of income and how to go about the marriage rites

freddie009:
There are three things to be considered when getting married to a woman.

- Age
-Level of education
-Money

You should have at least 2/3 higher than your spouse to get maximum respect.

Thanks so much sir

elantraceey:
I don't have any issues with the age gap but I won't advice any man to get married to anyone, even Otedola daughters without a very good stable source of income on their own. Work on that first.

On it already
Thanks so much

faithfull18:
Oga, get a job or business. Nairaland is the worst place to ask for relationship advice.

Thanks , working on that already

Acidosis:
She is actually desperate and you don't know jack about those 3 "stable men". Saying "Yes" to any of those men will only get her laid. She knows this and that's why she's hell bent on funding her marriage with you. It takes nothing to tell a lady about marriage. It takes bravery to approach her family for a traditional marriage list. When it comes to the "former", she's seen it all at her age, she's experienced all the lies and disappointment and can see through the desperation of those 3 men. That's why she's never going to give them her attention.

I don't know what to say about getting married to someone 5 years older but do not get married while you're jobless. Her promises and intentions to fund the wedding are from a place of desperate kindness but here is the problem, the moment a man becomes too comfortable with this system, the man will hardly want to do anything. Sooner or later, you'll begin to irritate her. I am sure her thriving business and kindness are reasons you're considering marriage at this point. You don't want to lose a "kind" woman but it's a trap in disguise.

Do not push your responsibility to your woman unless the situation at hand is critical (e.g. loss of employment, sickness). Yours is not a critical case. There's nothing critical about an unmarried 25 year old boy.

Thanks , getting a business of my own is the plan now, which is working out or getting a job

InTheCloudySky:
Have your own source of income first. It's the same advice I would give to any female before getting married. Have a job, or business in which you're earning money from. As for her age, if you love her, shouldn't be a problem. I look 23 and I'm not 23, so age is really just a number.

Exactly, thanks so much, the only problem having now is the source of income on my own side, working on getting a job or starting same Business in same city independently with our collective help

Kobojunkie:
Your relationship is already unique as it is. So it is erroneous to assume that those who have never had your kind of experience would know how to properly advice her in these things.

To begin with, no two relationships are the same and no two individuals the same, so you are the best place to know about this lady than anyone here or even in your family, I think.

As to whether you are ready for Marriage,only you know that too. You know if you are mature enough for the responsibilities and intricacies of a marriage. So you need to consider the points you point forth and look in wards to decide. If you need more time, you and your gal can decide that too.

Thanks so much, you are absolutely right, we are taking more time now to fix a source of income for myself, maybe starting same Business in same city independently

uthlaw:
Don't try it,I don talk my own!

Your reason please

thorpido:
You're obviously not ready for marriage and she is.
You also say you love her but do you love her enough to wed her?

Yes, just considering no source of income yet

aanuoluwami14:
Why asking?

Just fear of unknown

I think this is the right section to post this to get the audience needed after posted earlier on Romance Section

I am 25 years while she is 30years
Currently doing my NYSC, while she deals on laptops and other accessories,which is going fine

We have stayed for a year and few months now
We are very compatible and of like minds
We love each other so much
Very decent
Responsible
And very humble all these while we have known

Whatever desired in a woman she has them all

On November,this started
She came to my house and after eating
She asked me out for a marriage and she doesn't mind footing all the bills and everything as regards to that

I never expected this because our agreement is to marry when any serious suitor comes

She isn't desperate because if she , I know of at least 3 of stable men with good source of income waiting just for her YES

I don't have a house of mine neither any source of income

She suggested I join her in business as well, as her business is my business as well while searching for a job

At same time I so much love her


Actually at this point
I don't know where to start

NB- Never knew she owns the business till months we have dated

Same as age gap because she looks damn younger than her age

favch:
Maduako

FPO

Nellsworld:
How about the non graduate section, no October stipend yet, have they forgotten us

Chai, same thing here

Stanzingerzy:
Since September 8 last year i recieved 10k, up untill now, No sign of receiving another, no pending, no processing, no transaction failed. I havent received october nor november. What could be the problem. Am in Abia State, Osisioma L.G.A.

We are same bro
Ekwulobia Aguata LGA, Anambra state