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Car Talk / The New Teeny Suzuki 'samurai' Trucklet Is Such A Marvellous Piece Of Art by GusDino: 7:43am On Jan 04, 2019
You would have thought that the New Ford Ranger was a small truck. However, the Suzuki Samurai is about the same size as the Jimny SUV, but the difference is, unlike the Jimny, it is truck.

https://chofam.com

Romance / 10 Kinds Of Stories You Can Only See On Joro Olumofin’s Instagram Page by GusDino: 12:53pm On Dec 06, 2018
Joro Olumofin’s Page is gradually becoming the most revered platform on Instagram where young Nigerians share their relationship, love, romance, and personal life stories. With over 570,000 followers who hang patiently to learn one lesson or two from his every word,  the Love Doctor has come to be Instagram’s agony uncle, sharing the most bizarre Nigerian relationship stories and offering relationship advice to whom might need it.

Some of these stories go from “funny” to “bizarre”, “weird”, “unusual” and “odd”.  Here are a few of them that will make you cringe.

The most cringey Nigerian relationship stories on Joro Olumofin's Instagram page



The lady who got betrayed by her best friend

I’m so happy Joro, and not as sad as I should be. l dated him for 3 years… and the best he could do is ‘woo my bestie and sleep with her’.  Joro, He met her just two years ago….and today is their marriage introduction.. She didn’t even care to tell me, I found out on my own. It’s not like I am even pained, I’m just wondering where I missed it…joro I asked my bestie not quite long ago, she said she was busy and would reply me later..joro God bless them…so all this years, I and my best friend have been dating the same man…joroo. And the worst of it all, this guy is so damn good in bed. Sometimes he left me with bruises, but I endured it all for love. Funny thing is, I don’t really feel so bad. I just felt like talking to someone.

The k!nky sex addict

Hello Joro, May God use you as my happiness in life. God will repay you will many gifts. That guy who sent a Mail yesterday that he likes giving head on a lady’s peri0d. I’ve fallen for him. Please mail me his contact. He is my soul mate. If he’s tall and has income. I love that thing. My ex did it once. It felt k!nky and cold. My friend abroad let’s her dog give her the head on her peri0d. I really enjoyed it when my ex did it. I don’t have the boldness to ask new guys I meet. To my surprise God led me to your page. Please give me the guys contact. Some will judge but they haven’t tried it.

On my peri0d right now. I’m already h0rny AF so head on my period is cloud 1 billion. Help me with him. Thank you. Connect me let our journey begin.



The married man/woman who still sleeps around

Hello Joro. Really, I’m not seeking advice, just clarity on how men think. I’m happily married. My lover is also happily married. Judge not. We have discreet, safe, great s*x. We know it will end one day. We’re mature and have accepted the fact that affairs hardly last long. After a fabulous round of s*x, he actually said he’d like me to meet his wife. I’m like “why the hell would you want your wife and l in the same space Worse talking to each other” He says “she’s a nice and adorable woman?’ I laugh How do men think? He’s been married for 2 years to a “nice and adorable woman” yet cheats. I’ve been married over 10 years to a very difficult man (at least I have an excuse to cheat), but I would never want my lover to meet my husband.

The one who is looking for an opportunity to unleash the beast

Good evening Joro, please post this and keep me anonymous. Great job you are doing here. So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, things are great, he’s an amazing guy and we really love each other, I’ve been with only him. I’m 22 years old but I’ve never had a one n!ght stand, friends with benefits, a fling nor cheated on him. I feel like it’s something I should do and get out of my system before I get married (because we plan on getting married) does that make any sense? Does being with only one guy mean you’re most likely to cheat when you get married? I mean the s*x is great but I don’t know what else is out there. It’s a long distance relationship and I’m thinking, if I do it without him finding out he won’t get hurt and there are a lot of guys who are willing to date me. Another thing is, he’s a broke guy, most times I’m the one giving him money. I’m scared that like all the stories we read about, when he makes it, he’ll leave me. I’m caught between loving and trusting him or putting my eggs in different baskets. Please what do you guys think? I’ll be waiting for your comments.

Read more

https://chofam.com/2018/12/the-most-cringe-worthy-nigerian-relationship-stories-on-instagram/

Romance / 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Trying To Woo Your Best Friend by GusDino: 10:07am On Dec 04, 2018
In our day to day interactions with different people, it is never unusual to get charmed by someone other than our significant other. Of course, you may already have a commitment to stick to your partner in a monogamous relationship. But just having a crush on someone who isn’t your boyfriend is no big deal, if it stops right there. It happens. Everyone experiences such tempting moments from time to time.

Sometimes, you can have a crush on a stranger that you saw in the gym. You might develop a crush on the barista who prepares your coffee every morning. Sometimes, you might even develop a crush on one of your guy’s friends. You can get curious about what it would be like to be with them.

But you never really take these feelings seriously. You know that you would never be interested in cheating on your man. It’s perfectly normal for you to develop a crush on someone, even when you are in a relationship. It’s a normal aspect of living. You see something that you might admire because of certain traits or qualities that you have.

As you get crushes on other guys, in the same manner, your man has crushes on other girls too. It happens. You shouldn’t have to feel threatened by it, most especially if you are certain that there is nothing going on between your man and a third party.

Yeah, sometimes that really pricks on your self-confidence. But do you have a right to get mad at him just for having a crush on someone else? Definitely not. In fact, you can turn this supposed threat into an opportunity for you to learn more about what your man really admires in women, and this will help you get more intimate. Think about it for a second. He might be attracted to a specific trait or characteristic in a friend of yours – perhaps they might be more adventurous, more daring, more caring, whatever. You can take these as potential traits that you can acquire for yourself as well.

Nevertheless, if you start to notice that the crush is beginning to develop into something more than usual, then maybe you can put your foot down and put a stop to things before they escalate. And if you find yourself powerless in your efforts to stop them, then maybe that’s a sign that you should just let your man go and move on.

Watch carefully for the following signs


His ‘super boyfriend’ persona gets activated whenever your friend is around

He is always asking after your friend

He is so into her social media profiles

He acts like the new 'best friend'

He is always smiling whenever she’s around.

He calls her frequently

He gets rough and frisky in bed after she’s gone

He badmouths every other guys she date

https://chofam.com/2018/12/10-signs-your-boyfriend-is-trying-to-woo-your-best-friend/
Politics / "You Are An Uninformed Political Novice" APC UK Lashes Out At Davido by GusDino: 4:01pm On Sep 27, 2018
The All Progressives Congress, APC, in the United Kingdom has slammed Nigerian popstar, David Adeleke, also known as Davido for raising the alarm over alleged plans by the party to rig today’s Osun State governorship rerun election.

Davido yesterday alleged in a tweet that the: “APC already planning to rig tomorrow’s (today) rerun! Enough is Enough man! They’re ready to do ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING TO STAY IN POWER AND SUFFER THE OSUN PEOPLE FOR ANOTHER 4 YEARS! PLEASE SHARE! @inecnigeria @USEmbassyAbuja @OfficialPDPNig”

The music superstar, who has been a strong member of the campaign team of Ademola Adeleke, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) candidate for the governorship election, also shared a sheet, which listed the total number of registered voters in the polling units where the rerun will take place today, raising an alarm that there was an uncovered plot by APC to rig the rerun with 812 votes.

However, the APC UK were quick to reply in a counter-tweet, describing Davido as an uninformed political novice whose ‘pay grade’ was lower than the issues at stake. hence, should be ignored by the public.

Quoting David's earlier tweet, the APC UK tweeted on its verified Twitter handle:

“Fellow Nigerians, Please IGNORE the #FakeNews below from the political novice. He’s uninformed and too inexperienced to dabble into such issues. The issue at hand is way above and beyond his ‘pay grade’.

https://www.apcprogress.com/2018/09/you-are-uninformed-political-novice-apc.html?m=1

Romance / Re: I Took His V!rg!n!ty, It Didn't Squeak And He Lasted For Two Hours by GusDino: 5:50pm On Sep 15, 2018
Romance / I Took His V!rg!n!ty, It Didn't Squeak And He Lasted For Two Hours by GusDino: 3:29pm On Sep 15, 2018
https://chofam.com

"I took his v!rg!n!ty, it was awesome, it didn't squeak and the romp lasted for two hours"

Says lady who claims to have had se× with 44 year old v!rg!n man who has a £70k eight-inch bi0nic pen!s.

"It's state-of-the-art," Charlotte Rose said, explaining she was amazed by the doctors' workmanship.

CUDDLED up in bed, like a couple who had just made love, Charlotte Rose and Mohammed Abad had all the after-$e× guilt written on their faces.

Mohammed Abad who lost his manhood as a young lad just had a £70,000 BIONIC pen!s surgery which becomes erect at the touch of a button. And Charlotte feels so excited to be the first woman to have a feel of it.

Charlotte, 37, from east London, spoke exclusively to Fabulous Online as The Sun revealed this week a second Brit man, Andrew Wardle, 45, from Manchester, had lost his v!rg!n!ty too after being fitted with a pen!s that inflates via a tube.

“It’s great, magnificent and marvellous,” she said. “Mohammed’s willy is designer!”

https://chofam.com

Whereas Andrew was born without a pen!s, Mohammed, 44 at the time he had se× for the first time, lost his as a youngster following a road traffic accident in Huddersfield in 1978.

His pen!s was torn off as he was dragged under a moving vehicle.

For years Mohammed, from Edinburgh, Scotland, didn’t have a full member but in 2012 doctors created one for him and in 2016 he lost his v!rg!n!ty to Charlotte, who has stood as an MP for improved se×ual rights, particularly focusing on the needs of disabled people.

Charlotte and Mohammed stayed in a hotel in Central London and before having se×, made full use of the spa facilities close to Charlotte's flat

It was partly as a result of her political aspirations that Mohammed – having discovered her online – approached her.

He emailed her, suggesting they meet and she was flattered.

Charlotte said: “He’d been inundated with fan mail. So for him to contact me and want to have se× with me… I couldn’t believe it.”

Charlotte and Mohammed chatted via email and phone, before meeting in spring 2016 and doing the deed.

The type of op Mohammed had is called a phalloplasty. It was carried out at University College Hospital in London, where surgeons attach a bi0nic pen!s on average once a month. It's the same place where Andrew Wardle had his pen!s fitted earlier this year. Andrew's surgeon Mr David Ralph said: “The satisfaction rate is 95 per cent. If you start with practically nothing, satisfaction is likely to be good. "The original erogenous zones are incorporated into the phalloplasty to give erogenous sensations.”

Charlotte, who now has a partner of more than two years, Colin Chapman, 49, who is happy with her relations with Mohammed, explained: “He came via train from Scotland, arriving in Canary Wharf in central London.

“We spent the day together. I was living at London’s Docklands at the time. I had a gym and swimming pool at my place. We had a nice relaxing afternoon.

“We then got a train into central London and we got changed in the hotel room and we had a nice meal at the Indian restaurant in the hotel.”

After the meal, the couple enjoyed Champagne before heading upstairs. “Then we got to it,” she laughed.

She undressed fully but Mohammed remained fully clothed from the waist up.

Charlotte was pleased when she took off his trousers – because doctors had created a member which measured five-and-a-half inches while fl@ccid and eight inches while erec7 “with excellent girth”.

She said: “It was a work of art. The doctors had taken the skin from one of his arms and made a tube-like shape. It had an opening that he could still ur!nate and ejacu1@te from.

“They created a scar line to look like the tip. It was a piece of artwork. It didn’t look like a normal pen!s but you knew it was a willy. It looked like a designer one.

“I can’t say it looked better than a willy because all willies are very different, but the surgeon that created the look of this pen!s did a very good job.”

“He was really, really attentive. I was actually very impressed with how $en$ual he was. He was a great lover.”

Charlotte said his “erogenous zone was the base of his willy,” adding “so I focused on that. But after a while I pressed the button and he got erec7”

She explained how his erec7ion worked. “You held the button and it vibrated… it was incredible. He had two silo bags located internally – where the ovaries would be on a female.

“When you held down the button liquid in the bags would release into his pen!s and within about 30 seconds it would harden. It was very impressive – and very stiff.”

Amazingly the couple made love for two hours before Mohammed ej@cu1a7ed, which occurred as normal.

https://chofam.com

“I was expecting a disco ball and sound system,” she laughed. “Then you pressed the button again and he deflated.

“He will never need Vi@gr@. At 90 he will still be rock hard. It didn’t squeak or make any noises… it was brilliant. An incredible bit of kit… it didn’t even have any veins on it”

Charlotte used a c0nd0m for the encounter, which occurred only once.

But afterwards she says: "We had a cuddle and a ki$$, I went to the toilet and we went to sleep.”

“But he was great,” she smiled. “When you hear the word bionic you think turbo cop but actually he was a great, sensual lover. It was slow, sensual and erotic. It was beautiful.

“I hope he’s had a whale of a time since me.”

https://chofam.com

Romance / Ghosting, The Most Prevalent Breakup Strategy For Millennial Relationships by GusDino: 7:27am On Sep 12, 2018
They stalk you on Nairaland for months. You eventually exchange contacts and start communicating frequently, and on a deeper level. At first, they seem like 'not your type' but, with their unrelenting, you finally fall head over heels in love with them.

Just a few weeks of romance which peaked at some passionate love-making, they all of sudden become too busy. They stop calling, texting or stopping to check on you.

It's official, you have been GHOSTED.

Here is the most heartbreaking fact about being GHOSTED: Before now, you used to be the happiest person SINGLE -- until they came along and ruined it all.

The phenomenon "Ghosting" is as old as "Relationships" but only recently it has come to be the most prevalent BREAKUP STRATEGY. In this age, we all rely heavily on technology and dating apps to form and maintain relationships — which makes ghosting the best bet when things become sore.

The flame ceases to burn in Love affairs of brief or long duration when one partner virtually disappears. When one partner decides to ghost away, there are no end-of-relationship discussions, no "sorry, we are just not working out", no " it's over between us, am moving on with my life".... just dead quiet silence. No words, no calls, no text. Just dead-quiet-silence.

When people get ghosted, they are thrown into a state of wild-wondering-thoughts as to why they got dumped. Interstingly, most of these thoughts may be far from being related to the crux of the matter.

But why really do people ghost


There seems to be a strong correlation between ghosting — a fast emerging trend in millennial relationships and the increasing use of dating apps.

A study carried out to examine the experience of ghosting found that out of 550 men and women, 25% reported having been ghosted, and about 20% said they've ghosted someone with whom they were romantically involved.

Do those numbers shock you? Then brace up for more. It's possible they'll increase geometrically in the coming days, as technology is becoming more and more entrenched in modern dating connections.

https://chofam.com/2018/09/ghosting-the-popular-breakup-strategy-millennials/
Romance / Re: Women Are Dirtier In Bed Than Men - According To New Study by GusDino: 9:28am On Sep 08, 2018
Want to know how sweet-smelling she is down there? Try giving her 'head'... Lol.. But not all sha, quite a few are 'clean' on the average.
Romance / False And Misleading Claims On 'How Good He'll Be In Bed by GusDino: 9:22am On Sep 08, 2018
"Don't judge a book by it's cover" says a popular adage. But sometimes, the cover page of a book is what gives us a sneak-peek into what is contained in the inner pages. Again, sometimes the cover page of a book can be completely misleading.

....By Floxychioma


Popular stereotypes or notions have been put forward by different bloggers as outward signs if a guy will be good in bed or not. But very often, I found them to be false. None can be said to be close to being certain. For example, there is this general belief that great male dancers are great in bed. Well, I have been with a great dancer and he had no rhythm.

Read more

https://chofam.com/2018/04/10-stereotypes-about-how-good-hell-be-in-the-other-room-that-are-not-really-true/
Romance / Women Are Dirtier In Bed Than Men - According To New Study by GusDino: 8:52am On Sep 08, 2018
Contrary to popular opinion, a new study has found that women are actually dirtier in bed than men.

I know you might want to argue this, but a recent survey has found that BETWEEN THE SHEETS, women are dirtier than men in the bedroom.

The word “dirty” here refers to dirty in the literal sense.

Before now, it was often assumed that men are actually dirtier between the sheets than women. But a recent study has debunked this assertion and found the opposite to be true.

https://chofam.com/2018/09/who-is-dirtier-in-bed-men-or-women/
Romance / How To Make A Girl Forget Her Boyfriend And Fall Deeply in love with you by GusDino: 8:01am On Sep 03, 2018
It’s not a great feeling when you know that the most beautiful girl that you really want to have already belongs to another man. Do you know that your effort to love her doesn’t have to stop because of that fact?
You might not like the thought of competing with her boyfriend to get her heart but it is the only thing you should do if you want to get her. Do not worry, it is not that hard. What you need to do is to follow these ways on how to make a girl leave her boyfriend and fall in love with you :

1. Be A Friend With Them First
The thing you need to do first is to make yourself known to them. So start by introducing yourself to them and be their friend.

2. Talk With Them Constantly
If you continually talk with them, they will slowly grow fond of you. You can use the How to Make Your Crush Fall in Love with You Over Text

3. Compliment Them From Time To Time
A great way to get to their good side is by complimenting them. To up your compliment game, use the Ways to Make Someone Feel Appreciated and Loved

4. Be Available For Her
If you want them to go to you, be available to them at all times.

5. Make Her Trust You
You need them to start to trust you so that she is ready to leave her boyfriend. The way to do that is to do nothing to purposely harm her.

6. Always Be Kind To Her
Being kind to her will slowly make her heart melt, thinking that you have the Signs He’s Boyfriend Material

7. Use The Sentence ‘If I Am Your Boyfriend..’
This metaphor is a way to show her that you are superior from her current boyfriend.

8. Be Relentless
If anything comes your way, never back down easily because it is a hard game indeed.

9. Don’t Be Close To Another Girl
To make her truly loyal to you, all you need to do is to not chase another girl while chasing her.

10. Listen Intently When She Rants To You
When a girl rants, it is your time to know her secret that you can use to get her in the future.

11. Exploit Her Boyfriend’s Weakness Gently
If she ever tells you about his weakness, make a big deal of it slowly to show hoe bad he is.

12. Make Small Romantic Efforts
Use the Ways to Say I Love You without Saying I Love You to show how much you want her in a subtle way.

13. Be There When She Is Emotional
When she feels big emotion, be there to soothe her and convince her of her worth.

14. Be Patient With Her
Patience is rarely seen in a guy and it is a quality that will make her love you.

15. Be Supportive
When you choose to be supportive of her, you are making a choice that will make her feel loved forever.

16. Don’t Be Too Pushy On Her Leaving Him
If you push her too much, she will hate you.

17. Get To Know Her Better
an attempt to get to know her better will be great for the future.

18. Always Look Good
Looking your best will surely make her fall in love with you.

19. Hang Out With Her More
Spending time with her puts you on her mind for a long time.

20. Give Her Her Favorite Things
a gift is always a nice way to make her like you more.

https://chofam.com/2018/07/myths-misconceptions-twin-flame-relationships/

1 Like

Nairaland / General / Couple Desperate For A Baby Told They've Been Doing It The Wrong Way For 4 Years by GusDino: 3:58am On Sep 03, 2018
A married couple desperate for a baby have been told they've been having s,e× the wrong way for four years - which is why the woman failed to conceive.

The woman, 24 admitted s,e× was "usually painful" but doctors were stunned when they examined her and realised why she was not getting pregnant

The Chinese couple from Bijie city in China's south-western Guizhou province, who have not been named, but are aged 26 and 24, sought out professional advice after having no joy having a seed of their own despite meeting regularly.

However, alarm bells rang when medics found out the wife was a vjrgjn. She then admitted s,e× was "usually painful" for her every time.

Obstetrician Liu Hongmei said: "The couple were very young, the man 26 and the woman 24. They were very healthy, but, despite being married for four years, couldn't conceive.

"Their families were giving them a lot of stress because of it," she added.

While investigating the wife's medical history, Liu found out that the couple had s,e× regularly.

The woman also confirmed that the experience was "unusually painful" for her every time, but she suffered through it in the hope of conceiving.

These symptoms led Doctor Liu to believe that she may have had some sort of infection.

But Liu said she was "astonished" when an examination revealed the wife to be a vjrgjn.

According to China's Guiyang Evening Post, Liu's "experience" led her to inspect the woman's "posterior".

It was then that the medic is said to have learned the couple had been mistakenly having s,e× through the rear for four years, resulting in their failure to conceive.

Doctor Hongmei reportedly handed the couple each a s3×-education handbook.

She also gave them "guidelines" before they were sent home.

The prescription seem to have worked as it only took a few months before news of the wife's pregnancy arrived.

Liu who is now retired was reportedly informed that they were finally expecting - by sending 100 eggs and a live hen as gifts to her former hospital.

Liu said: "Four years of marriage and neither the husband nor wife knew how to get pregnant. Couples so lacking in general knowledge are very rare."

She added: "But it is not uncommon for people to lack or have misconceptions regarding s,e×ua| knowledge."

https://chofam.com/2018/08/spark-alive-in-a-long-lasting-romantic-relationship/
Romance / Check Out This Woman Who Claims To Have Slept With Over 15 Ghosts by GusDino: 7:18pm On Aug 24, 2018
A middle-aged woman from Bristol, says she is in a serious romantic relationship with a ghost and they are now looking at the possibility of having kids together.

27 years old Amethyst Realm, who is also a spiritual guidance counselor had some time last year muddled her fans when she said she will “never go back to men” – because spirits leave her more satisfied.

Realm revealed she has slept with over 15 ghosts since breaking up with her human fiancé 12 years ago.


https://chofam.com/2018/08/this-woman-says-she-is-in-love-with-a-ghost/

Romance / Re: Here Is Why You Are Still Single At 25 by GusDino: 8:13am On Aug 24, 2018
Caseless:
Go learn a skill, OP.

Tell him.
Romance / Re: This Type Of Woman Is Really Worth Fighting For by GusDino: 12:52pm On Aug 20, 2018
gbenyi:
This type of woman is really worth fighting for

We all have our relationship preferences. We all have some peculiar qualities and characteristics we want in a mate.

For those who have experienced true love and understand how pleasurable it feels, nothing feels better than loving someone and having them love you back with thesame zeal.

However, we ought to be extra-cautious as the more we love, the more vulnerable and exposed we become.


But if the woman you are trying to woo satisfies the following conditions, then she is really worth your time.



1. She likes you and it’s no big deal saying it out loud

2. She takes the lead

3. She supports your dreams and ambitions in life

4. She introduced you to her best friends

5. She’s got her own life goals

6. She puts up with your flaws

7. She forgives

https://chofam.com/2018/05/10-signs-that-should-tell-you-if-she-is-really-worth-the-chase/



Nice article.
Romance / Re: This Type Of Woman Is Really Worth Fighting For by GusDino: 12:50pm On Aug 20, 2018
Yes, but the same woman we guys ignore, take for granted, constantly hurt and eventually transform into a B!7c#.
Romance / Re: What 'break-up' Lines Were You Served? Let's Share! by GusDino: 10:30am On Aug 12, 2018
You are just too good for me.

1 Like

Webmasters / Re: Welcome To Nairaland Bloggers Family. by GusDino: 10:11am On Aug 12, 2018
I solicit your help guys, https://chofam.com needs an honest review.
Romance / Re: How To Get Through A Breakup When You Still Love Them by GusDino: 8:32am On Aug 12, 2018
Block them on all your social media accounts

If you want to really get over them, you gotta remove your ex from your life because even the smallest traces of their presence can trigger memories that you’d rather have buried away. Delete and block them from all your social media accounts. You really have to block them because you may feel like stalking them. After that, Get a new crush as soon as you can.

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