₦airaland Forum

Sorry, i wasn't here at the beginning of this thread.
Did you manage to start your business now?
How old are your children?
Have you no family?

onyxo76:
hmm, I've cut asideoff from all ex for a while now, besides the affairs were before I got married. so I can't say I cheated on my wife.

But you cheated on her whilst you were in a relationship did you not? Are you saying you wouldn't have care if your current wife slept with someone else the day before you got married?

I think sending an ex girlfriend money multiple times, regardless of whether you have now stopped, whilst you're married is worse than your wife sending her colleague a bible verse in the morning. Maybe it's just me.

onyxo76:
I've been married for 12 years now with 3 kids.l accidentally stumbled on a WhatsApp chat between my wife and her faculty dean, my wife is an administrator in the same faculty. the chats dated back to December last year and contained a bit of over friendly conversations though work related and had these romantic emojis.
my wife does a lot in the faculty for the dean and she's highly appreciated and recommended.
where I was uncomfortable was the chats are late at night and early in the morning.
my wife even sends morning devotional to him when saying good morning, looking like he is the last person she chats with and first in the morning.
I confronted her with my findings and she assured me that she was a bit carried away by the chats and there is nothing between them since even her father works in the same university and she cant afford an infidelity scandal. she promptly deleted the chats in my presence and we had a heart to heart talk where we discovered that we had drifted apart due to work etc. I told her to be careful with the dean as he has adultery issues and I can't stop her from reporting to him or chatting with him.
subsequently we made amends and we have the best of times now as it is as if we are courting again.
my problem now is that I feel that she's hiding something from me and I made her know this but she gave her word that she can never cheat on me, she gives me good sex, checks up on me at work, calls me periodically just to inquire about me.
now each time she chats the dean she deletes the conversation once she is done.
now I feel as she's doing something behind me, she does not go out anyhow and I can verify her movements if she goes out. each time she chats I get a feeling that she's up to something, I know she is not capable of extramarital affairs but somehow I just have the fear of her being involved in such.
I think I need to get some help or are my fears justified based on my findings last month?

So you're worrying about your wife messaging a colleague, but you are messaging and send money to ex girlfriends who you cheated on your now wife with?

You're only concerned because your guilt is burning you.

Dreadlock69:
All NIGERIA FEMALE BOSS ARE USELESS ALL OF THEM!!!

Ah, you know how to copy and paste. Well done.

Dreadlock69:
All NIGERIA FEMALE BOSS ARE USELESS ALL OF THEM !!!

I disagree. It's obvious someone hurt you. I hope you heal soon. You are only hurting yourself with all your ranting.

Oluromantic:
Those ones with big features(most of them) don't even bother to task their brain let alone working towards intelligence cus their features pave way for them. The ones without features have no choice, they have to compensate for it via intelligence to prove their value.

It definitely depends on the person. Some men also will put zero effort into their education because they think they will find a woman who can do everything for him.

BLOODYSPERM:
Estrogen inhibit real logic, you can have capacity for logic but you are not suited to utilize it due to your innate Biology ,any woman that deviates from her comfort zone is seen as a beast of nature by men of real logic, not ideological collectivist people who won't mind seeing poor mimics of men

Why would God give women the capacity for logic, but not let them utilise it?

BLOODYSPERM:
Common sense is not logic
A woman can have common sense but she will still not be logical
You talking to a fellow woman and allowing her opinion to cloud your judgement speaks a lot about you

Are you the fellow woman I'm talking to?

So you're telling me you don't look at the words that are written initially. You check to see if they were written by a male or female, then you decide if you agree or not? You're lacking in logic. I will share mine with you.

BLOODYSPERM:
Can't give me a sound response , you now come here ranting with your fellow Feminist

What nonsense

I think you'll find it is you who hasn't responded to my last point.

The lack of logic continues from you. According to you this means you have lots of oestrogen and not enough testosterone. I feel sorry for you.

Ardar:
Yes, and also they believe that they are superior to women in every ramifications so God forbid a damn inferior woman dare challenge their superior azzez by disagreeing with them.

In my ethnic group they dismiss anything a woman says by referring to her as onye ne tukwu ani we n'anyu mamiri (some one who bends down to pee) cuz standing to pee symbolizes power according to them.

Don't mind them. This is what some men do. They just take something a man can do and a woman can't and say its because men are powerful.

It's illogical.

BLOODYSPERM:
Logic is the hard terrain of men since testerones require challenge, logic is tasking and challenging
You vividly are aware that estrogen demands comfort , any woman coming into the terrain of logic is nothing more than an abberation,a disgust, a pseudo-masculine hybrid beast woman who wants to emulate and embrace the masculine because she wants to be an outlier, she ends up as a caricature,a poor imitation of the masculine

Logic is not the hard terrain of men. Women are logical too. Do you think people would be able to get through life with no logic. The way you're writing makes me think you do not know the definition of logic.

Many women are logical without being masculine.

Comfort and logic are not mutually exclusive.

danilmo:
ure making it look like a big sin but no, neutralize ur mind off that and u ll enjoy our nature..

Well none of my partner has ever complained abt my pro lifestyle and since I'm not arrogant to their feelings I don't think biblical quote can fault me.. if we are to start quoting bothbof us will end up faulting biblical laws. let's just learn how to love and cope with each other in good terms..

But why I'm i having the feelings that ure mistaking Arrogance for Ego? the toxic factor...

well dont let us dwell too much on it. Just enjoy us like that ehn..

shallom.

No sin is bigger than the other though, right?

Yes, let us not dwell.

falcon01:
yes, it's a distraction just like how disabled people tend to be more Focused and Intelligent in school it's because they Know they ain't got No choice than to focus and make it in Life. But big boobed fools knows one idiot will Simp and they'll get all the Money they need.

Women don't choose how big their boobs will be. Just like men can't help how small their penis is.

It doesn't have an effect on intellect.

Ardar:
Why do I feel this thread was necessary and also not worth the time at the same time? Probably because of some of the comments from the mail folks here.

One asked, "if men and women are equal why do men have a penis and women have a vagina"? while another has been going on and on about how hormones in women hamper their thinking.

They've been priding themselves on how logical they are but in actuality, they're the ones illogical ones.

100% correct. Some men just have fragile egos and can't stand a women saying they are incorrect about anything or having the audacity to have a good job and earn more money than them.

divineappo:
how about you?
U also made a generalized statement about Nigerian men

I didn't say all though. Argue with yourself.

BLOODYSPERM:
Are you telling me your estrogenious hormones doesn't at all affect your think at all?

Only as much as testosterone affects yours.

People have different levels of these hormones in their bodies, are you saying the amount of oestrogen in a person's body directly affects how much logic they have?

BLOODYSPERM:
Estrogenious hormones affects women with regards to all of them
Feelings will always supercede facts for women in the long run
It's your innate Biology don't fight nature and God
Deal with it

We all know women have more oestrogen, men have more testosterone.

What do you mean 'in the long run'?

Don't fight logic with your desire to be right.

BLOODYSPERM:
Every man has a penis
Every woman has a vagina

Would it be wrong to classify each gender based on Biological differences observed or I should downplay the effect of estrogenious hormones which is predominant in women and makes them seek comfort, do you want me to ignore these scientific facts to please you , can't I vividly conclude that women are more prone to emotions remember I didn't even factor mood swings during women's menstrual and ovulating cycles, now classifying women with these irrefutable scientific FACTS is now Illogical to you


You make me ascertain and conclude more that women are of inferior logic to men with these observation from you who is supposed to be a critical thinker and utilizer of logic

I'm highly disappointed in you for you want me to discard your Biological realities

Have you got a learning disability. I was quite pivotal referring to got below paragraph:

FACTS women are solipsistic, hypergamous and always prefer what feels right to truths that's why they create Rationalization hamsters to justify weak arguments and emotional opinions, they also Dissociate from the truths or reality that they find unpleasant.


You can't n say that this applies to every single woman. You're saying that all women, just because they're women, have weak aghuements? That must mean that you are also a woman because you're arguments hold zero weight.

I wasn't saying that not all women have vaginas. You seem to have inferred this from somewhere when I said no such thing. Find where I said it. Please go and learn sense.

Fmghewzy:
The person you are chatting with has no brain.
Leave him to display his foolishness!
And not many Nigerian men are toxic,maybe those on Nairaland.
Moreover many of them might be different in real life.

The issue is with you girls,if you all want responsible , reasonable and hard-working men.
You will surely get.
But you girls bypass them for the toxic ones, stating flimsy excuses
He is boring
He is too nice or too gentle.

So you get what you want ,the big boy,party type you all want are what you keep getting.

You raise some good points. If i was single, I'd go for the nice man

Usorohtheman:
But are Nigerian men really toxic,?

Not all of them are, but there are a proportion who are.

OnlyDeCapPlease:
Nigerian women raised us to be toxic. Hopefully Nigerian women like you will do a better job and raise non toxic domesticated and emotionally empethatic Nigerian men. As the old saying goes "As you sow, so shall you reap".

I think it's men perpetuating this trope, but say what you want to help you sleep better at night.

BLOODYSPERM:
Ok
I admit my opinions can sometimes be wrong, I'm still human
But FACTS women are solipsistic, hypergamous and always prefer what feels right to truths that's why they create Rationalization hamsters to justify weak arguments and emotional opinions, they also Dissociate from the truths or reality that they find unpleasant


You are using identity politics to box me as a Trump supporter or/and Redpiller but you are not ready to have any meaningful dialogue with me since you believe not in individuality but in collectivist group think focusing on groups ideology over individual rationality , these is where your final argument falls too and you then conclude I'm a narcissist, I'm not sarcastic, I'm a man who thinks his opinions are facts, I don't believe women are logical which I never said but I stated they have capacity for logic but are poor utilizers of logic since they are more attuned to feelings and prioritize it over facts in the long run you then finally concluded it won't get me far the real world

You said I don't believe in individuality, but here you are grouping all women together? Ok bro.

danilmo:
Logically Men should assist in good ways they can especially when the woman also works.

Hopefully I would love to date women like Okonjo iweala, Awoshika and co cox I'm an active man, I love active women for myself, e dey boost my morale but what comes along with this kind of women is house chores issue, they can't and since men too can't it's rational for them to get a house help..

I'm a Man and we have Ego, u see that ego is the alpha factor keeping the love life fire burning , u urself won't love to marry an 'egoless' simp, Simp are most time dump and pussy worshiper. They hardly make precise decision, most time dull.. pardon me.lol

I ll beg u to avoid our ego issue and dont take it as toxic...it's natural and God knows why he gave us, the frightful sexy masculine look, deep vocal, height, masculine features brings ego and i think its natural..If a man feel his ego is threatened in marriage trust me his love life will get cold, Wen the man is active belief me the love life in that family ll burn well but wen his ego is threatened(Financially, health@Erectile dysfunction+) , he is down, same thing the love feeling in that family, he cant even make jokes and romance anymore ..

I think u need to checkout successful women and how they ve been able to keep their marriage.

If u dwell on the logic behind this too much trust me u ll end up being a bitter man hating feminist (cox ur logic is right)and u ll see men getting threatened to stay with u except u choose not to be wit any..maybe a beta man per say..

summarily.


Get house help.
Male figure& ego is natural, leave us with in Peace.
We aren't toxic.
Research how Successful women were able to keep their marriage.

shallom.

Thank you for your input.

Why have men got such big egos? Did the Bible not say people should be humble?

BLOODYSPERM:
The premise is debunked by facts,data or any other evidence and can't hold up after scrutiny and rigorous analysis ( logical or scientific analysis)

So you didn't understand my joke of finding unemployment data when it is obvious youths educated or not are jobless

Confusion
Remember you built your argument on toxicity of men on Nairaland trend but you can't ascertain facts except the individuals Operating the program algorithm as they are the only ones to give us concrete evidence from their data or statistics

Remember you made only an observation, then you proposed an hypothetical discussion

At this point your sounding like a Trump supporter who believes everything published is flawed and only you know the truth. You're coming across as very narcissistic.

I didn't say that educated youths aren't jobless. This is true the whole world over. You asked if I wanted numbers and i said yes. You need to work on your sarcasm because it didn't come across that way.

Never did i say that journal sources conducted by reputable peers can not be influenced. I'm well aware of articles like the one by Andrew Wakefield which turned out to be false. But the falsification came out after it was peer reviewed.

You can't just go around stating your opinion as fact and expect no one to call you out on it, just because you're a man. It might get you far with your little friends and forums like the red pill which you seem a fan of, but it won't get you anywhere in the real world.

BLOODYSPERM:
I was only wrong when I said you should bring statistics and if you had any sense of humor you would have know I was been sarcastic but since you didn't get my joke I ought to refer to the statistics as citations as we reference citations not statistics that my only error

But in every other aspect including your necessity for citations even from the academia background I debunked your poor logic and weak arguments which are mostly fallacious,ad hominems and sophistic

It is only humour if others find it funny.

Can we conclude that you also failed at sarcasm?

You haven't debunked anything. In fact you have gotten yourself even more confused, which i didn't think was humanly possible.

Can I ask you, what makes an argument weak?

BLOODYSPERM:
So citations prove the validity of a statistics or data and not the data and statistics itself conducted under scientific rigor , that's my problem with academia's they don't know when to think outside citations or even conduct objective research and experimentation they with rather cite sources to opt for the easy way out to avoid real utility of logic


Citations without empirical conducted observations and research can sometimes be False and misleading

It's obvious you think you're omnipotent when really you're delusional.

You write things just to fit your narrative and don't state any facts.

You think that repeating the words solipsism, gynocentrism and estrogenious over and over in every post, somehow makes you have some sort of advantage over women, because you seem to think all women fall into these categories but you think that you are better than other because you think that only you and this Dr Peterson are the only people in the world who are logicians.

You fail to acknowledge when you are wrong which goes against your argument that you are a critical thinker. This means seeing both signs of an argument. Your views seem very one sided.

I challenge you to refer to women not using the words : solipsism, gynocentrism and estrogenious.

BLOODYSPERM:
My scandanavian data and statistics didn't reference any source

Well then you don't know it's reliable. Any one could have written it.