oxiide22:
so you're looking for a real nigga kor? Lemme c ur picture?

you didn't reqd the part where inside i get turned off when men asked for my picture

lilwetdick:


i know you lack comprehension

i didn't come here for insults. Have a nice life

Beverlyjean:


With ur understanding of acrimony ...it simply shows ur personality and I so pity any man that falls for u ... U are a certain feminist and a red flag for men.... U seem like the entitled unforgiven type .... U are the type that they men say they should fear

you are most likely a man,and having a certain opinion does not make me a feminist.

Judybash93:
Great stuff. My question is... What do you have to offer if you get all these attributes that you want in a man?

Are you interested to know?

niaralandtopuser:
her real moniker is funminastics. they claim to not care about men but always create alternate to seek advice. marry all these nairaland so-called feminist at your own peril

lol, i am not. Although she is also a doctor

Beverlyjean:


I love Tyler Perry's movies for one thing ...it tells stories of the reality of life... Acrimony showed us how most of we women think .... The woman in the movie felt so entitled cos she sponsored the man all thru their existence together but dint 100% believe ,trust or loved the man ... He loved her a hundred percent but also believed in his dreams a hundred percent ... When u both come together as one , u both should trust ur dreams a hundred percent , even if it doesn't work in the end ... Most times God brings these challenges to test us ... And most times we give up in the dying minutes... She was the man's distraction but dint realise it... Love is for better for worse till the end ... But because she felts entitled , she tried to control him , and u can't take a man away from what he believes in..u can only support till the end ... She made the decision to move on , the man still came bk to beg but he was ridiculed ... Most women get bad advice from friends and relatives ... We women are not good managers cos we are illogical cos that's the way we are wired , but feminism has come to decieve most of us .... When a man truly loves a woman , nothing can ever change that feeling unless she cheats ... But when a woman loves a man alot of factors can change those feelings ... The woman in acrimony had an unforgiving spirit and that's y she dint accept him bk till she heard he was now in money ... Any woman that supports the woman in acrimony is a red flag , a glaring one at that

you sound like a male hiding behind the f monicker

lilwetdick:


what jobs are they? are you based in Nigeria? the guys who i know can have 2 jobs in Nigeria are doctors and security men/women

but anyway, i guess it is a low paying job that is why you work 2 jobs to pay up the bills, anyway nothing wrong with that

but will you be so kind enough to tell us the type of jobs, lets know your capability since you want a rich man

i am a security man

lilwetdick:
who noticed that Harlequeen does not have a job, she have been consistently answering all comments from morning to afternoon.

she doesnt have a job thus the need for a rich man

i have 2 jobs and none of them are 9- 5.

Besides. I am off duty today

DonroxyII:
You can't blame anyone bro .... Somewhere on Nairaland this morning even in this Romance subsection , we nabbed a self acclaimed medical Doctor who is nothing but an engineer .... The social media has made alot of people to be living audio life...

The reason I wholeheartedly supported your postulation that love should be carefully sought online... . Na so so fake and Audio people you will find !!
You can even see some people misbehaving online and they are very cool and versatile in their private world while some are cool online but Janjawee in offline .... !!

how come i missed this gist.

RealMrNigerD:

Are you the one liking my post?

yep

Somebody is triggered by my post

lilwetdick:


yeah spiritual oversight on doggy style.

Eww

Parkwell247:
You don't believe in religion? But I hope you believe in God?
Just put God first, and everything will work perfectly for you. I don't think that you can do all these by your knowledge without God

i believe in God

healthserve:



Allow me add one comment before I bail. Can you see one of the benefits of having a female-male pastor mentorship? Many ladies know this and cash in on this. I swear it on my fathers grave that like you know me offline, there are men I'll snap my fingers and say, take this girl go marry her, no dating, nothing. Just like that, its out of 10-15-20years of being in that place of honour in their lives. This is what a social circle does.

Hence, the importance of a spiritual oversight I.e Pastor. The average pastor has ten good men that fits your taste 100%, that forming a relationship with them opens those resuroces reservoir up for use..

I hope this makes sense

Cc Toks2008

thanks

safarigirl:
lol...if I wan talk, I no go use alternative account, I go use my main account, after all, shebi I am looking for something?

I understand OP's wahala sha.....I got to a point and I started thinking it was me sef

safi, the issue is if we use our main for something like this, a lot of people's opinions will be skewed based on our past interaction with them. The result would have been another bashing thread.

lilwetdick:


this your story does not add up.

i left him o, everything is not going south for me, career is progressing all right. Let's just say that leaving him was part of the things that gave birth to the standards i wrote in the opening post. I had that constant nagging in my conscience that i wouldn't marry him, but i was too much in love. I forgave a lot of his flaws, didn't nag(except for his drinking,but never made him feel bad for it),we were really free around each other. i had low expectations then. I just turned 25 in October, and i am taking an assessment of my life you know. I just needed some advice apart from my parents'

lilwetdick:


this your story does not add up.

what parts are not consistent with you

Gerrard59:
This must be Safarigirl.

Well, much has been said. From my experience, by registering for a reputable certification, thereby attending its lectures, you would find responsible men. I witnessed it and found it a very useful way to source for intelligent, beautiful and responsible female friends, some of which I still talk to till date. So whether CIPM, ICAN, CITN, CFA or any certification that aligns with your desired career. Also, you can get someone through IELTS/GRE/TOEFL classes (since you want to japa). As for going to church, I'm quite less religious as you are, but this is Nigeria. The church is one of the best and easiest places to network and meet new people in this country. I learnt that and started going to church though not frequently. Furthermore, you have to develop yourself because even if you start attending HOTR or any renowned church on the island, none of the men will be interested in you. Just as you're selfish about the kind of man you want, so are they.

Cc: Harlqueen

no i am not her, but thanks for your advice

healthserve:



Lol. My dear Amara. I know its you all along na


We're sworn enemies na. Its crystal clear I can spot you as you can me


I hope your mum is cool ATM. And you're enjoying the crazy city/state

i am not Amara o, but the enemy of an enemy is a friend

healthserve:



See. There's a lot I won't say because of the enemity between the two of us... . While our enemity remains intact for sure, allow me drop some things I feel you considered lightly


1. Take vacations more - this time not to classy places but to open places like Shoprites and co.


2. Drop your car for some time. By taking public cars, you could see men climbing up the ladder


3. Spend your Saturdays outdoors. Attend conferences, seminars


4. Above all, see a prophet, this issue like other issues emanates from the spiritual.


5. You've been a victim of wrong/substandard environment for the men you sought in the past, now wake up and make the most of your work environment


6. Try to replace all online shopping with going to the grocery/super market stores yourself


7. Try new profiles with pictures on sites like Facebook/instagram


8. Start using public transportation and increase your use of this system. I.e BRT. Don't do boat rides o. You know you ladies have your spiritual husbands close.. Water draws you closer to being kept in check by your Spirit husband..

My belle o. Am I this mean?

thanks for all you have done, it means a lot. Blessings go your way in jesus name. Just out of curiosity who do think my main monicker is?

I have already ditched the car and live near the waterways,my mum is also looking into that spiritual angle for me. No you are not this mean.

healthserve:
.



Sorry

Thanks, till today we still talk,we are still friends, i asked him if he had married the girl. He said no, life got in the way. She later lost the pregnancy, then she later needed money for appendectomy, recently her parent died. He then told her to go home and look for a job. Last i heard, she had found one, but along the way he told me that marriage is more than he realized, that he knows now that he is not ready, especially financially.

All i could see from this is that he seemed like a person who isn't down for better or worse. And he is 11 years my senior. Dating him helped me realize what i didn't want. But we had good chemistry, until i caught him almost coming out alomst naked with two women . when he thought I had left his room after knocking for an hour.

Paccus:

I know you may not see this since the thread is already far gone, There is nothing wrong in you setting standards on who you want to be in a relationship with, what you listed are great but if I am to advice you as my sister I will tell you to try to put your eyes on men also who are your senior with only 3-5 years because if you are looking for an ambitious man that is older than you with minimum 10 years, that is 35 year old minimum, most ambitious men who are 35 years old are already married, some who already have plans to leave the country have already left the country by that age so finding someone becomes harder. Goodluck

thanks, but many younger guys dont behave maturely, some just want to deposit and go.

Seun:

I commend you for knowing what you want. Now you need to know what what you want wants.Talk to happily married men who fall into the category you're looking for and ask them what attracted them to their wives. Cultivate those qualities and then you'll be able to attract such men.

thank you sir

Navalsadiq:
your not a serious person.young girls of these generation they will never learn.if your mother had adopted would she have had u

there are many children needing a parents's love and guidance to be better members of society

What is wrong with adoption?

mechanics:
Since you realized your mistake with your former ex by being sexually active with him, is good to avoid that now to get the right man because sex is not a guarantee that the man will marry you in future, the aspect you talked about religion that you don't go to church surprises me, how will you not go to church and expect God to give you your future husband, the best solution is to pray about it because God is the perfect match maker and start going to a Bible believing church.

being sexually active was not the mistake. Being with a man who lacked drive, who always had one excuse or the other. Who will still be sleeping by 10 am while i had gone to school or work. whose words and actions never matched, who was in a hurry to marry me and get me pregnant, but was clearly not ready to start a family , wasn't ready to wait for me. Till the extent that he got another girl pregnant. that was my mistake.

Vida04:
I don’t need to prove to unworthy tramps like you normally I don’t talk about fortunes cause I have seen someone with the whole world lose it at a flash of light
Your father isn’t accomplishment mentally and financially for training a woman like you that’s why I am scared of having a female child so she doesn’t mix up with fools like you
Acrimony my black Nigerian ass

how people who think like you exist on the surface of this earth, should be one of the wonders of the world. You are a low vibrating person with nothing to contribute. This is all the attention, i will give you. Have a nice day

PreyingMantis:
Have you ever wondered if those kind of men you want, actually see anything in you?

THAT'S the conundrum actually. When i do find these men,Some of these kind of men have major character flaws, some just want slay queens and i am very conservative.

I think the issue is making that lasting first impression on them.

But let me meet these accomplished men first.

Vida04:
Get a life you set standards so high your father never go reach in ten of his lifetime
You looking for an accomplished man ppl like you end up with the church rats in the society if you can’t be what you want I think it’s best you sit and rediscover yourself....you post is really dumb and foolish in this 21st century one thing you don’t know is there are plenty women in this Nigeria alone talk less of the world
I think I have a very bright profile regardless of what my dad has set for me believe me in 5 years time I would be where I have always wanted to be
Had a car at 23 bought lands b4 I turned 24 pay a house rent of almost a million for years and my parents have no idea about all this
And I owe this to stupid women like you who gave me the ambition to better myself at 21

uncle, why are you so bitter? You don't sound accomplished at all, and even if you are, your mental age is not high at all.

You said my father can never reach the standard. Let me tell you that he has already reached and surpassed it. He is the main example i have of what men should be like. He is the muse for the criteria I set in the first place.

You have issues if anything I posted is causing you such acrimony.

LionTiger:
In summary, you need mental maturity.

Yes, yes and yes

Thank you sir/ma, God bless you

BreconHills:


There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting standards. I do not think the ops standard is excessive ( doctors excepted lol)

What I do know is that a woman must discover her own passions in arts, sports, academe etc. Her passions and the knowledge that result will lead her to the right well where she will meet the right man. I am many years married - 15 now but young men I speak to ( especially the highly intelligent ones) can spot a woman outside of her natural setting a mile away and while this is not a deal breaker it leads to caution.

A word about successful and highly focused men.

They are looking for a team member. Someone who can see their blind spots and complete the picture. They arent looking for money, they are aware of their limitations and they want some someone who is not so needy or overawed to gently point it out and make appropriate suggestions.

Everything is natural. Every woman has built in intuitive and radar that can warn of danger. The only problem is when she switches it off or overrides it.

So find your passion - if it is art, formula1, golf, saving the whales etc; immerse yourself in it, live out your life and suddenly you will find yourself at Rachel's well and the person will appear automatically- it will be natural unforced and sex will not be the first item on the agenda.

So distance your value from the many women who boast in cleavage, butts and sexual innuendo and seduction. These are really inexpensive assets that are easy to find. They attract but they dont keep.

Highly sought after men dont have a lot of choice. Less than 2% of women in Lagos can honestly meet what I set out above. Many will fake it and many will fail.

Your man is waiting for you!

akin33:
You are the architect of your problem. In fact, you may end up marrying who you called lesser and be fulfilled. If you did not drop the standard you set for yourself now, you will get the wrong man because marriage has nothing to do with the standard you set. Marriage is not an investment opportunity. It is not to choose by signt. Every successful marriage I have ever heard of start from a scratch (lesser) and today, such marriages are the best.

Let me tell you a story of my marital life. My wife only met me once in s taxi, she paid the fare. Then, no thought of dating each other. We were not even friends. But when I was looking for a lady to date. I look for her contact from her course mate. I sent a text to her that night. She told me she was 100% accepted me. I have no mattress, nothing in my room except books and reading table. Each time she requested to visit, I will turn her down. Until one day, she insisted that she must come or I have a lady I kept in my room. When she finally, came, I was ashamed. She was not discouraged by my room. She told me is me, she wanted not what I have. She was the one who even kept pressing me for marriage. I was scared of my income of N7,500/Month. She knew my salary. Yets, she loved me. She took me to her people, I was accepted, the wedding was planned, I don't even have money to pay for suit. I only buy the engagement items in the list. We did wedding at Methodist Church. I have no idea where we will do reception. She whispered to me the reception venue. On getting there, it was a big event hall. Today, we have children, money, properties and I invest for her.

No marriage works unless you make it work. Ready made man or woman anywhere. The men and women you see today are made my someone.
Make your man !

have you cheated on your wife before?