jclassiq:

Yea, but the thing about time is that it doesn't wait for anyone. Now I'm not suggesting you lower your standard or anything. But if the man you are looking for doesn't come, will you be willing to live out your life as a single person? This is the question that needs to be asked.

If at 35 and I am not married, na to bleep one guy born sure pass.

ednut1:
i no sabi for them o

Ask them how far and get back to me.
Regards

He must’ve this... he must be that. Don’t be one of those women please. You are 25 now use your time wisely and stop being delusional . There’s a difference between standards and being unnecessarily picky which is the problem with a lot of women. It’s not until they get to 30 plus and they start wondering where Mr right is. Wake up and face reality, that’s all I will say.

Debaiz:


You’re looking for someone about ten years older than you that is ambitious.

Get the facts.

You’re by my guessing in your 20s. So whoever you’re looking for is most likely in their 30s.

One thing about ambitious men is that they tend to settle down early. Those who can’t settle down early will have one very important reason they haven’t(may be personal). So the probability that that ambitious man would’ve settled down before 30 is very high ruling him out of your age preference. The few once who are yet to decide will be ruled out by the fact that they will most likely appear as unserious cos of their little achievement and advanced age.

My advice is to either cut out the age thing cos the zeal of ambition is mostly visible in 20s. In the 30s, the ambition is mostly a personal struggle and won’t be visible in the mans life style.

This one na lie .... na 30s most Naija hustlers dey arrive especially early 30s b4 35s ....especially if u be guy ..... Na oyinbo dem, dey arrive in their 20s and teenagers ..... life dey balance in naija for most guys at 30s .... if u no careful sef, life go balance 4 u in late 30s .... and if u enter 40 and u no balance ..... e don be for u be that oo .... a fool at 40 na zombie forever

jclassiq:
I never said anywhere in my comment that there is something wrong with being single. As a matter of fact, being single affords you the opportunity to truly live out your potentials cos you have zero worries. But most people are not comfortable with the loneliness. Thats why I asked the poster if she can do it.

Many thanks for your cool headed clarification.
Greatly appreciated.

GrabHisBalls:
If at 35 and I am not married, na to bleep one guy born sure pass.

Hahahaha

pocohantas:


Ask them how far and get back to me.
Regards

Since Se.un has quoted your alternate troll account today, he might have something for you nau.

EDIT:
And I think he fits your bill perfectly as well....
In his 30s, IT guy, "accomplished"...and I guess "ambitious".

Maybe you should ask him what he wants....

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Your requirements/standards are good, but you also need to look beyond physical attractiveness. The desired spirit do not often come with the desired vessel.

DonroxyII:
Trust her ooo, people can do that aswear !! .... Boys dey misbehave nowadays ooo .... faking things fakery life !!

Alot of fake people these days

zoeycherie:


Hi. Let's connect. How do I reach you?

Hi, check your email please

Why do rich igbo men go to the village to marry? Because they are tired of your standards.

The so called high profile guys dont even want high profile gals. They need someone that is not having your qualities. Some don't even want career women.

Especially well traveled men who have seen the lives of white abroad in marriages. They settle for an African woman.

So if you need Mr Right are you also Mrs right.

Why do guys want sex from you and not marriage.

Your character? Is it a good one.

You want mr perfect but forget that he can also be a rapist or a drunkard or have a very bad trait that he keeps secret.

Stop fantasizing.

My friend who is a primary school holder was begged for marriage from a banker in her 30s.

Why?

Many reasons.

People change and i know you will. When you reach 30 and discover all your mates are always discussing about the stubborness of their children you will wish for it.

Its life. When i was younger all i wanted was a bicycle but now i want a car.

Maybe now your standards are your bicycle but soon you will realize why yorubas say ile obinrin oo pe su.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

So, knowing that all these are what u desire in a man, and wish so much to have them.

I'd like to know what stuff you are made of.
Who are you?
What's your worth: Academically, economically socialy and moraly.
@ least to stamp your feet and say u will definitely attract the right man with the aforementioned, even in the face of this your high guard and rigidity.

If u ask me, u haven't really understood who men are. When u do, u will eventually stop all these one's u r doing and saying.

U sound like issues of men and relationship is what you engage in for a living. I mean, u date physically, u date online, u ve been adviced to go to churches and all that. Sorry, is dating ur occupation?? Like are u that idle?

Meanwhile u r just 25..please what time do u get objective with ur life in terms of building urself up @ least to increase your overall value that will attract quality men to you.

#smh. Madam, u need to get useful. When u do the needful, the real men will walk in, attracted by value and not by stories..

No man goes for liability these days for your information. Gone are those days.....

Stop and get serious with your life, else, by the time u get so "hard to get" ontop your nothing, guy men who want to straf ur ass will put up all those ur wish up here and land u on their bed don't think u r smart... Men are smarter.

Ur eye go clear..

U r definitely jobless.. When u get busy, u won't have time to look for boyfriend @ 25..... U will be more serious and if u know, serious minded men love focused babes and are ready to commit in all sense. as such will come.

WORK on ur self while u r young. Stop wasting your time.

Harlequeen:
that's so inspiring, maybe i am being arrogant. I will try to be nicer.

.This girl you are too funny.

DonroxyII:
She doesn't have any psychological problem brother ..... she just have a taste and a desire .... The problem is our taste is the bane of our delays in life and if we settle for less, we may be sad till eternity .... you will always know that there is something out there that you deserve not this one in here and that is how marriage collapse !!!

@Harlequeen, no be so !!

Is OK to have a taste. The issue is when u have a taste and yet have no worth.

The type of man u desire, are u his type? Or is enough to have taste. I mean, wetin de hungry girls dez days even when dey have not worked hard enough for such. No wonder yahoo is all over the air now.

casdoruche:
Why do rich igbo men go to the village to marry? Because they are tired of your standards.

The so called high profile guys dont even want high profile gals. They need someone that is not having your qualities. Some don't even want career women.

Especially well traveled men who have seen the lives of white abroad in marriages. They settle for an African woman.

So if you need Mr Right are you also Mrs right.

Why do guys want sex from you and not marriage.

Your character? Is it a good one.

You want mr perfect but forget that he can also be a rapist or a drunkard or have a very bad trait that he keeps secret.

Stop fantasizing.

My friend who is a primary school holder was begged for marriage from a banker in her 30s.

Why?

Many reasons.

People change and i know you will. When you reach 30 and discover all your mates are always discussing about the stubborness of their children you will wish for it.

Its life. When i was younger all i wanted was a bicycle but now i want a car.

Maybe now your standards are your bicycle but soon you will realize why yorubas say ile obinrin oo pe su.

Alagba, I raise my hat. You pack bullets abeg

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving




To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

I know you may not see this since the thread is already far gone, There is nothing wrong in you setting standards on who you want to be in a relationship with, what you listed are great but if I am to advice you as my sister I will tell you to try to put your eyes on men also who are your senior with only 3-5 years because if you are looking for an ambitious man that is older than you with minimum 10 years, that is 35 year old minimum, most ambitious men who are 35 years old are already married, some who already have plans to leave the country have already left the country by that age so finding someone becomes harder. Goodluck

mrdino:


Your requirements/standards are good, but you also need to look beyond physical attractiveness. The desired spirit do not often come with the desired vessel.

Blood of Aaron. What an amazing revelation Sir. The desired spirit doesn't often cone with the desired vessel. Only the wise and discerning would be able to process this amazing revelation Sir.


Well done Sir

AntiMCU:


Just noticed you are anti-feminism.

I do, based on what happened to my father. Na long story jare. How is the DC thread?

Paccus:

I know you may not see this since the thread is already far gone, There is nothing wrong in you setting standards on who you want to be in a relationship with, what you listed are great but if I am to advice you as my sister I will tell you to try to put your eyes on men also who are your senior with only 3-5 years because if you are looking for an ambitious man that is older than you with minimum 10 years, that is 35 year old minimum, most ambitious men who are 35 years old are already married, some who already have plans to leave the country have already left the country by that age so finding someone becomes harder. Goodluck

thanks, but many younger guys dont behave maturely, some just want to deposit and go.

SarkinYarki:


That one is sure

Baba Twale... The elder himself

Is this the new way of telling us to apply for the position of "husband"... Just joking

Harlequeen:
being sexually active was not the mistake. Being with a man who lacked drive, who always had one excuse or the other. Who will still be sleeping by 10 am while i had gone to school or work. whose words and actions never matched, who was in a hurry to marry me and get me pregnant, but was clearly not ready to start a family , wasn't ready to wait for me. Till the extent that he got another girl pregnant. that was my mistake.

.



Sorry

simple advice, focus on developing your best self and enjoy life, hangout with friends, do things you have always wanted to do, go out, meet new people, forget about men for now, it is while doing this you'd meet someone who has the same interest as you.

Follow your mind, but take your brain with you.

But as for the standards and those asking you not to.drop them? They are setting a trap for you and you're making a mistake being adamant, sis. I know you won't agree with me though...but it doesn't matter.

All the best

healthserve:
.



Sorry

Thanks, till today we still talk,we are still friends, i asked him if he had married the girl. He said no, life got in the way. She later lost the pregnancy, then she later needed money for appendectomy, recently her parent died. He then told her to go home and look for a job. Last i heard, she had found one, but along the way he told me that marriage is more than he realized, that he knows now that he is not ready, especially financially.

All i could see from this is that he seemed like a person who isn't down for better or worse. And he is 11 years my senior. Dating him helped me realize what i didn't want. But we had good chemistry, until i caught him almost coming out alomst naked with two women . when he thought I had left his room after knocking for an hour.

Harlequeen:
Thanks, till today we still talk,we are still friends, i asked him if he had married the girl. He said no, life got in the way. Sheridan lost the pregnancy, then she later needed money for appendectomy, recently her parent died. Songs told her to go home and look for a job. Last i heard, she had found one, but along the way he told me that marriage is more than he realized, that he knows now that he is not ready, especially financially.

All i could see from this is that he seemed like a person who isn't down for better or worse. And he is 11 years my senior. Dating him helped me realize what i didn't want. But we had good chemistry, until i caught him almost coming out alomst naked with two women . when he thought I had left.

See. There's a lot I won't say because of the enemity between the two of us... . While our enemity remains intact for sure, allow me drop some things I feel you considered lightly


1. Take vacations more - this time not to classy places but to open places like Shoprites and co.


2. Drop your car for some time. By taking public cars, you could see men climbing up the ladder


3. Spend your Saturdays outdoors. Attend conferences, seminars


4. Above all, see a prophet, this issue like other issues emanates from the spiritual.


5. You've been a victim of wrong/substandard environment for the men you sought in the past, now wake up and make the most of your work environment


6. Try to replace all online shopping with going to the grocery/super market stores yourself


7. Try new profiles with pictures on sites like Facebook/instagram


8. Start using public transportation and increase your use of this system. I.e BRT. Don't do boat rides o. You know you ladies have your spiritual husbands close.. Water draws you closer to being kept in check by your Spirit husband..

My belle o. Am I this mean?


Cc: LifeisGuhd Crazyblue

Cc: MissJoy29

/
You are 25. That's why.

Every young lady has a fantasy list until they hit 30.

Ever been to a High School reunion? There are some of your flamboyant classmates when in school you will see later in life and ask "what happened?!" It is called life. Keep praying so that you don't become a victim of phantom high standard.

/

Wish the pages on this post can just be converted to $1m per page.

healthserve:



See. There's a lot I won't say because of the enemity between the two of us... . While our enemity remains intact for sure, allow me drop some things I feel you considered lightly


1. Take vacations more - this time not to classy places but to open places like Shoprites and co.


2. Drop your car for some time. By taking public cars, you could see men climbing up the ladder


3. Spend your Saturdays outdoors. Attend conferences, seminars


4. Above all, see a prophet, this issue like other issues emanates from the spiritual.


5. You've been a victim of wrong/substandard environment for the men you sought in the past, now wake up and make the most of your work environment


6. Try to replace all online shopping with going to the grocery/super market stores yourself


7. Try new profiles with pictures on sites like Facebook/instagram


8. Start using public transportation and increase your use of this system. I.e BRT. Don't do boat rides o. You know you ladies have your spiritual husbands close.. Water draws you closer to being kept in check by your Spirit husband..

My belle o. Am I this mean?

thanks for all you have done, it means a lot. Blessings go your way in jesus name. Just out of curiosity who do think my main monicker is?

I have already ditched the car and live near the waterways,my mum is also looking into that spiritual angle for me. No you are not this mean.

Harlequeen:
thanks for all you have done, it means a lot. Blessings go your way in jesus name. Just out of curiosity who do think my main monicker is?

Lol. My dear Amara. I know its you all along na


We're sworn enemies na. Its crystal clear I can spot you as you can me


I hope your mum is cool ATM. And you're enjoying the crazy city/state



Your answer is in the spiritual realm I told you about. Ditch anything else, go there and resolve issues of the past that has sapped you of your desire for way too long.


Good luck


Your worst enemy

zoeycherie:


Tell God to help Nigeria first and leave the lady alone. All your God terrorists disgust me.

God, God, God yet the country is worse than hell fire. mtchewww.

Nigeria is under God control... You are just a human and knows nothing


There is God and nothing else can change that

Joystark:
Wish the pages on this post can just be converted to $1m per page.

Another day dreamer spotted