₦airaland Forum

You are absolutely right.

001spice:
nice one bro. But still you need to appreciate your parent.coz they give u wat they can. You even learn from the them to do more better

Haba!

I can't go and continue doing the same thing my parents used to soffocate me na.

Oya see my sons here na

001spice:
Oga will you be kind enough to saw us the ones you have bought for your kids

Honestly, this made my day.

Even me that created the thread didn't know it would be this fun and exciting oh.

I don laugh so tey I don dey get stomach pain for my neck.

Guys, please follow me, I will definitely be dropping more engaging threads like this.

This country don already too hard, make we dey use this side dey unwind abeg.
I

Santinho:
OP I appreciate your writing skills and sense of humour. And also, thank you to all those that contributed to this thread. This is my post of the year for now.

Honestly, my bellle don scatter with laugh. I
hardly comment on nairaland but this one touch me Wella. Nairaland is fun sha. After reading to the last page, I had to come back to quote you for reference. I go share this post with a friend going through a tough time make my guy laugh small.

I know say I go come back view this thread again to laugh more.

Hahahaha

He say na so slave trade take start

Guy!!!!

Jentle244:
Your dad dey strict. Just like my dad He go be like " what if them kidnap you". Just because of akara wey I believe say your friend no still share with you

Escort me go there, na so slave trade start.

Thanks for sharing

Omo!

Once a solder, always a solder na wetin my mama been use the slap prove to me.

hofeshhomes:
It is the "punctuated with two hot slaps in front if the babe" for us.

Before my wife woke up from bed this morning, I already bathe the boys, dressed them up ready for work.

I for even make their food and feed them only say I was not in the mood to waste pap this early morning.�

I knew that for her to still be sleeping, then baby Laura must have kept her awake for most of the night.

Babe must have been tired, that if it were possible to bathe Wifey and baby as dem dey sleep, I for do am �

But I hardly talk about these things.

You see this social media, nor let anybody tension you.

Some people marry their bestie, some turn their friend to bestie after marriage and some are looking for vacant bestie because the one wey dem marry nor be am.

But you that the man you married is your personal lord and savior that sees it as a taboo for him to take certain responsibilities in the home...

Nor go try carry some of our doings you read here to your house.

Nor be me send you oh

Because when your personal lord and savior wee send you packing, na like this I go take answer the door when you come and ask for temporary accommodation.

People really do this "threat to breakup" thing?

Well, if someone has ever tried it on you or on someone you know, it can mean one of three things.

Play this video to find out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWJGu0zlSKg

Don't I just love you? OK, I love this your comment.

Yes you are welcome. And thank you for engaging on the thread too.

delpee:


@OP
Thanks for making me laugh so hard.

Parenthood ain't an easy task. Life has always been tough for parents in the Lower and Lower Middle classes especially. Mothers know that the only way to have less anxiety is to be prudent and creative about purchases.

Having to buy new stuff every term can be frustrating for parents who are working with tight budgets. Both the parents and the children have to bear with each other under the circumstances.
Great pity but the important thing is to succeed and then to look back and laugh heartily with the benefit of hindsight. God bless African parents.

So I asked single Pringles on my WhatsApp story if they know what their love language is and this particular babe legit said her love language is CREDIT ALERT!

Omo!

These babes should be calming down o.

Meanwhile, if you are not sure what your own love language is, you can confirm with this free online test, it should only take you about 2 mins to complete it.

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/singles-quiz/

I took the test and the result was really amazing.

You might also want to check out my video on the 5 Love Language by Dr. Gary Chapman.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LjpHaBkv2c

Who to practice with na?

You?

LOL.

meobizy:
Lol. Talk is cheap. OP, put it into practice.

Oh, those days of extra cool.

I was doing midnight call.

My dad opened the room door, as a sharp guy I already quickly throway the phone one side and pretended to be sleeping, he just looked and went back quietly, no drama.

It was after morning devotion that I knew there was a caught.

Omo!

Old man legit repeated most of the beautiful nonsense I said to somebody's daughter in the name of love while men slept.

Apparently, he had evesdropped on my conversation before attempting to open the door.

Mumu me!

Following day, for road oh, my mum gave this babe "federal warning" to avoid me if she wanted to make heaven and then punctuated it with two hot slaps on my face in front of the babe.

Coman see premium tears of public humiliation.

Na that day I understand say who dey cry nor dey see road well laidat.

Your parents don catch you before?

How did it end?

In distributing the gifts, He gave some Tangerine, others got Orange, many got Grape and Watermelon reach some people.

Ladies, shey you understand?

Which ever one of these gifts you have, please appreciate it wholeheartedly.

Even God after He finished work and distributing these gifts, looked at every and said it was perfecto.

But some people nor dey gree hear word.

Some that have tangerine say na watermelon dey want.

Now God go dey wonder say where these people dey learn this kind "long-throat" behavior from?

While some tangerine people nor dey worry about bra, others dey find the one with heavy duty padding.

Eziokwu!

Watermelon people nor need any padding but dem nor dey easily see their size for market.

Our Nigerian tailors are not helping matters.

They want to be sewing wedding gowns, and classic asoebi styles. Nobody want to be sewing bra to help this ministry.

The funny thing is that the orange and watermelon geng fully understands that in the end, every soldier that standeth however gallantly, must lass lass bow down and take an everlasting nap.

But this is mostly not the case for those in the tangerine geng.

Once a gallant solder, always a gallant solder.

Infact, some believe that the smaller the tangerine, the more gallant the soldier at the end of the day, after its all been said and done. �

I forgot to mention that some members of the tangerine geng cannot wait to marry, give birth and start breastfeeding so that the tangerine can be upgraded to a much bigger gift.

Some are even praying to get partner that have anointed hands, so that by reason of the coitus anointing, anything he touches go just dey big anyhow.

Now, these are the issues.

Ladies which one you get? Guys which one you dey like?

No forming here pulizzz. I know some people wee see their spec here.

E go well oo.

I dey run am

donbachi:
U go soon use okro soup chop rice.

E be like say bomb dey your head sir.

justscorchone:
This one na small issue, just start dey smoke weed and dey drink road side agbo

Come make heaven let me see

lilvicky68:
Or early fifties..

Bros you were not doing well at all back then

15ssDRIVE:
Fear Ijebu Parents !!! Op, you wan kill person with laughs.

May God bless our parents,dem really try wella. Because someone of us,na definitions of the devil in kiddies form.

Buy me Bata shoes, I go ride bike with no brake and use the shoe as my brake,so they will need to buy me a another one in 1 month time.

Las Las,respect for our Papa & Mama. Wey Sabi draw ears. Wey Sabi Knock your head and reset back to factory’s setting.

This platform suppose get laughing emoji na

Because what is this?

Kuku kee me guy!!!!

Ochason:
My own nah something else. How can you explain when ur mumsy go carry ur sister's trousers and mend for you as a guy and hailing you that eehh see as ur looking like a one rich kid like that, see as this one fit u fine die. Me in my mind I go dey cry . And the cloth go give u the shape of a woman for back. I dey hustle well make my children no experience wetin I pass Tru then.

I'm glad this thread made you smile.

About your job, when one door closes another one opens, please cheer up. A better one is coming.

3idiots:
I want to thank the creator of this thread and those that commented for making my day. I lost my job today, but this thread put some joy and happiness in me. If not for any other thing, it's was nostalgic. I remembered those childhood days, when you just have to worry for nothing.

The good old days...

Thanks once again!!

You had to ask.

Hahahaha

Wahala be like coconut, we nor know how water take enter inside

lilvicky68:
Shebi you use am graduate?

You sabi this thing

lilvicky68:
Na purposely them dey do am..person go buy shirtsleeve for him pikin..when the pikin wear am na long sleeve e go turn..

Oya na run this thing na

Nor dey whine me o

HRSweetness:
LOL, very interesting write up plus zero grammatical blunder. I feel like opening a go fund me account on your behalf.

Your kidney!

lilvicky68:
Na small thing 50years use pass your age..

So i have posted a very recent picture of me. As that one on my profile is deceiving some people.

Infact, those of you saying your have face that is strong like iron sponge, oya make una show una picture too make we see.

I'll wait.

Oya see it here

Fantazy:
Wow!
But u should've posted the Babyface let's see na

Make una dey lie small small na.

This is face of someone in his 40s?

Make una dey fear God oh

Guys trying to guess my age from the story.
Scam!!!!

ford101:
is it only 30.that his face is an old man's face of between 37 to 49.

I dey tell you. Na so one say I look 52. This nairaland na werey full am.

VULCAN:
You crafty sha . You didn't get that age from the pictures but from his story. There are 18yr old black American men that look older than that picture.

It was going well until I got to the last line where you said trouser be looking like skirt.

Guy!!!!!!!!!!

CDCEO001:
You Sabi write and make your story interesting to read and fun as well. I don laugh tire.

My own oversized clothes story is to long, let me just say small.
I lived with my uncle from when I was 10yrs.
Almost all my clothes were oversized, most of them were giving to me by grown ups who have used it themselves before giving it to me.
Sometimes I will cut the trouser to my hight and will look like skirt on me.

At least you went to check out my profile.

Nice one.

We can all be petty here. Someone asked me if i'm ready to succeed as a content creator like himself has already succeeded but you didn't see anything wrong in such comment.

Let's all be petty.

BarrSly:
Lol bro leave am he’s attacking everyone here and calls himself certified relationship coach only God know the kind advice you dy give

I forgot to add that the suit I wore for my convocation is still in my museum, sorry wardrobe.

Asin, 8 years later, I never fit still wear am because it's still very oversize.

Those people do me shege sha.

This isn't suppose to be funny, but the comments here been cracking me up since morning.

You people should be calming down abeg

Ode!

opsyswagger:
at your old age your mum still they buy you shoe

My belle oo

Acidosis:
Dead Parachute aye