₦airaland Forum

topup:
Dare I smile, what a turnaround! I had a hard time with the criticism because I felt I could sense underlying reasons to your points, not that you were adressing the points but addressing me through the points, hope that came out right.

I mean you were trying to assess me through the relationship with my ex and not the relationship with my ex.


Thank you.
I don't have a hard time with praises

Ruby_Pearl:
even when you don't want it?

topup:
You have a habit of giving me orders and telling me what to do.

In fact since I have no problem with explaining myself. The explanation is I was writing in response to how we began this battle and then the idea came to me to use my other account on a non-nairaland forum to ask the general public what their opinions were on the words you wrote.

Keep up,

topup:
Why does everything have to become SO childish. Until proven no one can say I made a bad assumption, we still need to get a third opinion, neither am I bitter. It is not about how you choose to read it, it is about how it is written. Don't worry I will get that opinion,

Here it is:

the link! http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yatanys-support-a.html

and the replies:

Quote: from Yummie Strawberries at 4:02 am on Aug. 6, 2008

Apparently you broke up with him. That is cruel. All this time I thought he was the evil one.

Quote: from shutter bugs at 4:03 am on Aug. 6, 2008

they thought he was a bad person for breaking up with you and hurting you but you where the bad one

Quote: from chaosdisown at 4:04 am on Aug. 6, 2008

"so let me understand, you broke up with him? that was a cruel thing to do. While i thought that he would break up with you, because he would seem like the guy who would." thats what i got out of it

Now what do you think?

I believe that the problem is as soon as you figured out that I was having issues with getting over my ex, you have tried your darned best to find some box to categorize and sort me into. Whether it be the obssessive, the possessive or the brokenhearted female. I don't believe you have given me a fair chance, or even considered what I've been saying without bias or preconceived idea and that's a shame. Practically everything I've said on this board has been 'truly questionable' though reading it literally it may seem like a 'blatant point' but we both know it's a 'taking the piss' type of comment even oyinye2 thought so (hate to bring people into this) when she said you should 'stop it' and 'be a little sympathetic',


I think it started when you posted this:

"HAHAHAH You will never get over that guy. If he came back tomorrow you would jump on his back.

Hmm! No wonder some guys are scared/skeptical of boning virgins.


Quote from: topup on Today at 01:44:49 AM
As if! You don't even know me. Now why would you be afraid? I'm only letting off some steam, I wasn't even hating, just being honest, you guys are making it seem like it's unnatural,

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And I'm glad your steam is limited to the internet. Could be worse."

Comments tinged with smart remarks and sarcasm, did I deserve them for the opinions I initially expressed in my OP, I don't think so.

topup:
I am finally laughing, kudos to HCH3COO and Davidylan,

topup:
Why does everything have to become SO childish. Until proven no one can say I made a bad assumption, we still need to get a third opinion, neither am I bitter. It is not about how you choose to read it, it is about how it is written. Don't worry I will get that opinion,

Here it is:

the link! http://www.golivewire.com/forums/peer-yatanys-support-a.html

and the replies:

Quote: from Yummie Strawberries at 4:02 am on Aug. 6, 2008

Apparently you broke up with him. That is cruel. All this time I thought he was the evil one.

Quote: from shutter bugs at 4:03 am on Aug. 6, 2008

they thought he was a bad person for breaking up with you and hurting you but you where the bad one

Quote: from chaosdisown at 4:04 am on Aug. 6, 2008

"so let me understand, you broke up with him? that was a cruel thing to do. While i thought that he would break up with you, because he would seem like the guy who would." thats what i got out of it

Now what do you think?

I believe that the problem is as soon as you figured out that I was having issues with getting over my ex, you have tried your darned best to find some box to categorize and sort me into. Whether it be the obssessive, the possessive or the brokenhearted female. I don't believe you have given me a fair chance, or even considered what I've been saying without bias or preconceived idea and that's a shame. Practically everything I've said on this board has been 'truly questionable' though reading it literally it may seem like a 'blatant point' but we both know it's a 'taking the piss' type of comment even oyinye2 thought so (hate to bring people into this) when she said you should 'stop it' and 'be a little sympathetic',


I think it started when you posted this:

"HAHAHAH You will never get over that guy. If he came back tomorrow you would jump on his back.

Hmm! No wonder some guys are scared/skeptical of boning virgins.


Quote from: topup on Today at 01:44:49 AM
As if! You don't even know me. Now why would you be afraid? I'm only letting off some steam, I wasn't even hating, just being honest, you guys are making it seem like it's unnatural,

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And I'm glad your steam is limited to the internet. Could be worse."

Comments tinged with smart remarks and sarcasm, did I deserve them for the opinions I initially expressed in my OP, I don't think so.

eltoro:
YES, this question has been agitating my mind for ages now. Really I feel bad when I see what is going on in my dear country - Nigeria; it is so sad that we are richly blessed but so so poor. I think that something has to be done and urgently too. When I see our young men and women, I feel sorry for Nigeria because they grew up thinking that it has always been like this. I know in times past when it is a taboo to display ill gotten wealth, but everything has changed. Our leaders are not helping matters. They are not showing good example. Pen robbers are not punished thereby indicating that crime pays, With the way things are going, is there any future for this country?

onyinye2:
Just what i thought

topup:
Now you can't even admit it.
The subject of the sentence before is included. So much like I said "You think cake is delicious"
It would also be "You breaking up with him is cruel" and not that 'cakes are delicious' or 'breakups are cruel',

The typical person would apply the adjective (cruel or delicious) to the subject of the previous sentence, in my example the subject is the cake, but in yours the subject is him, *please can someone give a second opinion here*

And weren't you claiming that what you wrote was that 'he was cruel'?

onyinye2:
Educate me then my brotha

onyinye2:
You never forget such things as that. Your first crush, first kiss, first sexual experience, first break up, and first love.

topup:
By the time you posted this I had quitted 'the jive' but seriously that has really annoyed me, if anything you started it. Also, just to point out, that is NOT what you wrote.

"from what i'm reading, you broke up with him. cruel. all this while i thought he was evil. "

Maybe that's what you intended but that is not what would be derived from what you wrote.

Sometimes I think about cake. Delicious.

I would derive that you think cake is delicious.


I do not like being told what to do.

topup:
By the time you posted this I had quitted 'the jive' but seriously that has really annoyed me, if anything you started it. Also, just to point out, that is NOT what you wrote.

"from what i'm reading, you broke up with him. cruel. all this while i thought he was evil. "

Maybe that's what you intended but that is not what would be derived from what you wrote.

Sometimes I think about cake. Delicious.

I would derive that you think cake is delicious.


I do not like being told what to do.

topup:
No you didn't insult me ,

topup:
Honestly I don't need sympathy, let alone a little.

Well done HCH3COO or 'Acid', you've picked one, someone you can test all your come backs and insults at,

*sighs*

topup:
Onyinye2 I doubt he'd take you seriously when you have laughing smilies in your message,

onyinye2:
Acid be a little sympathetic.

topup:
I think we should leave way for people replying to the OP, as the discussion has gone off topic.


If anybody is helped by the questions that makes two of us

topup:
I stopped idolising him immediately.

topup:
It might have it might have been. A lot of my guy friends thinks that's why he left me.

And by left me, I mean the reason why he started becoming distant, not texting n messaging as often. I actually said the words 'I think we should end this.'

So yes he broke up with me,

I only said the words.

topup:
No, because I am not obssessing over him!! I am not as stubborn as you guys are making out! I explained it already, my friends understand me! I am a very analytical person, when one of my friends gives me a look, I'll analyse it, 'maybe she scowled at me because , this this that that' and so forth, or 'why is that guy texting me at this time of the night, , is it because this this that that' or 'i'll ommit the kisses at the end of the text message because he has a girlfriend and if I was his girlfriend I'd think that was disrespectful' I AM LIKE THIS. NOW if there isn't an issue I can't resolve and bring peace to my mind, I lose sleep over it, I AM AN OVER ANALYSER, if anything that is my problem. The issue is I can't put my finger on why he pushed me away (the ex). When you don't have the full story to a situation my best advice is to try not to judge so harshly, you don't have both sides neither do you have the beginning to the end narrative of what happened between us. I actually genuinely wanted to help other people feel better. I asked unisex questions so guys can be involved too, I found the questions today and they instantly made me feel better.

Now I'm starting to feel like a piece of crap again, due to your constant hammering on the whole 'it's your fault, your possessive, you have a problem' rubbish!

onyinye2:
Mba. that is secret information.

onyinye2:
I didn't mean it in that way, Acid.

onyinye2:
Acid man stop jiving with the girl. She is hurting and is trying to get over that. give her a break.

sayhi2ay:
don't you want to admit your are obsessing over him ?

topup:
Sometimes I truly wonder if you post to advice and help or to throw the harsh realities in the face of someone who needs to be consoled.

SO you have decided here is the time and place (board ) to 'be real' with me?

I truly wonder how I would have felt if I went to you for guidance during the intial stages of the break up.
Mannn you don't know anything about the guy, but you refuse to stay unbiased. Already I am the possessive girl, who makes guys think twice about 'boning virgins',

What these forums have taught me is to stay strong, though people may say things that may not be the most useful or helpful, you gotta stay strong.

In no way have I abused the guy, I am merely just saying my point of view, how I felt, opinions not facts.

I refuse to take this little hiccup personally,

topup:
Though I doubt you'll believe me, I am NOT the possessive type, I have never received closure on that relationship. I don't know the reasons, the true reasons because he wasn't honest enough to come out with it.

I was not at all possessive and at the slight warning that he wasn't putting in his effort into the relationship, I let him go.

You heard that song by Mariah Carey 'Now you want to be free, so I let you fly',
That's what I did.

But the problem is every once in a while I question why things are the way they are. When two people aren't speaking it is usually because of a misunderstanding I am a very reasonable person, and I always begged him to be frank with me, put feelings aside. I was met with reasons such as; "I don't know why myself" what the!!! Puh-lease gimme a break.

If I can't express myself on this forum, then where can I

onyinye2:
always using my lines.

onyinye2:
Topup, it is good that you are getting to the point of being over him.