₦airaland Forum

Liftedhands:
Opinion time.

What would you do if you are at your younger sisters place and her husband slaps her, drags her into their bedroom and continues beating her there?

As you make to go rescue your sis her mil barrs the door and tells you to mind your business!

Will you? Please share what you will do in such situation.

This reminded me of a story my uncle told us about wht my mum did2her BIL who ws fond of beating thr sister thou both husb nd wife are late nw. My uncle said d man cn beat my aunt eh, she wl cry nd cm2 report wit swollen face. Beaten my aunt bcame d husband hobby. My mum kips getting d message. So one day my mum cud not take it any longer, and bn a very strong woman, I mean very strong, my uncle is a weakling whr she is, infact she acts like a man, she is d one dat fights nd defends d family. So on dat fateful day my aunt came crying wit swollen face, dis tym around my mum ws around she cud'nt take it. She told her elder sis oya lets go nd see ur husb, d sis followed her wit my uncle. On getting thr my mum saw d BIL nd rushed him dey fought heavily. My uncle said my mum beat him o, dat he never knew my mum cn fight a man like dt o. Dat thr father ws so happy for my mum's action. My uncle ws thr only son nd quiet. He said dat fight ended d beaten. D BIL neva touched thr sis agn. My mum later made up wit him. Thou in dis scenario, thr ws notin like MIL. Sometin happened years later nd my mum told us dsame story of hw she beat up her BIL who ws fond of beating her elder sis. So 4me MIL or no MIL i wl handle dt my BIL. I dnt like wife beater.

ahnie:
OK...thanks!

U're welcome, and welcome2 2018.

ahnie:
cool down...I get your points clearly .
Don't get me wrong....I asked cud that be the reason why some adults talk with baby voice,because theirs(tongue tied) wasnt noticed on time.(you mentioned that""before its too late'' in your previous post' wen you raised the issue.

if it is baby voice they talk with self e 4beta. Dis one u wont understand wht they are evn talking sef or trying2 pronounce. Our tongue aids speech as it moves, then check whn its hooked dwnu. A mother brought her baby of 6months, smone noticed it nd told her, it ws removed. Most mothers dnt knw abt it. Thr is a stage d child wl attain2 it bcoms impossible2 remove it. Unless it cn b don n abroad dats d one i dnt knw. ( I bin tink say u quoted me4 troble as usual). Ahnie my paddy paddy.

ahnie:
I have seen quite a number of mature adults talking like Nokia ringtones, so its because of this tongue tied issues.does it mean that those peeps with this challenges didn't cry when de were born?

I no no d kind school wey u go. Who write ur waec 4u. Dis simple tin wey i post u no fit comprehend. Oya listen agn. I did not say d child wont cry. D child will cry but d tongue wont GO UP, D tongue no go go up. No misquote me again o.

ahnie:
Oh my jinglez ..I just de book down for the future nsala soup wey you go soon cook with the money wey u go kolobi from us again.because I no say u wee soon pull sontin Big this one that you have changed your writing pattern.by the way,if you won't mind,I would like to have your bank account details,I want to deposit a large chunk of my recent accumulated FATs from my body into your acct.manage the FATS for now,use it judiciously. I'd send more Fats soonest.

Happy Xmas sweetheart...from your favourite caring neighbour with excessive fats!
its the COUNTS that THOUGHTS.

heroinqc my nigress
I dey gbadu you!my warmest regards!

U get moni? Church rat like u. So u are even OBESE. Abeg carry ur OBESITY shift one side, who nid obesity dis modern time. Go and accumulate more pricks. Hw u no go gbadu me.

Mothers pls ensure u check ur baby tongue. When d baby is crying check if d tongue is going up, if it does'nt pls tk d baby to any health centre dey will free wht is hooking d tongue, d tin is usually under d tongue. If d baby grows up wit it, his or her speech will be affected and it will be too late then. Took mine thr 2day.

ahnie:
you know say na thief dey know him cohorts...your sense of humour z STAle and boring..yawns e bi like say na wetin you de do,so you think say everybody be like you .

BTW,you no longer abbrev your writing pattern .nice one.abeg that your nsala soup still remain?
.heroingfc my niggres.

Coach Coach. As i no gree share d moni with u, e dey pain u die say apprentice wan big pass madam. See am e still dey beg for nsala soup. Na wa 4u o, y ur longa throat dey like dis na. Ok no vex next time wl share wit u.

ahnie:
My dear... nuttin z coming.we are cool.
its not good to kwarry o,if we kwarry God would vex o.I am going to sleep in heroingfc sacred bed tonight.
BTW how z you?

Pls leave God out of dis mk HIm no vex for u cos he searches d heart to knw wether u want quarrel or not. Meanwhile, u sure say na me u wan cm sleep with for d sacred bed? Abeg o, 14yrs no be moi moi o.

ahnie:
heroingfc my fingers wee not put me in trouble, so sorry for quoting you,no be mee write those jargons,na the NEPA guy I almost pushed down from his ladder last week that came to cut my Light. I am suspecting him to bee the one that wrote those words.

no vex

I no vex o. So tell me chumtin ur new catch dis xmas na Nepa guy. But u sef wetin dey there to talk say u push am 4rm bed, u cm dey twist talk say na ladder. Light cm spoil join d show. Take am easy for xmas parole o.

ahnie:
eeyah honestly sorry,don't be annoyed on the baby issue...oya chop kiss .hiannn una don't quickly like Post. heroingfc abeg don't be annoyed.I was just highlighting d past drama

Highlighting d past drama to win which award? There is an advert on NTA dat says "IN MEMORY OF WILLIE WILLIE". Go there and pick a script, as a gud highlighter u will excell.

Imahaps:
I hope you are are ready for what's coming?

100% ready

ahnie:
you forgot to add....
1..letting your Mil sleep in your holy bed.
2...deactivating your rocketisky monicker
3...asking for more monies to buy food for your imaginary baby.
4...am pretty sure its your Bil that just post this by impersonating you.
I wish you many chickens inside your nsala soup.

Sometimes when one keeps silent people term it to be dat d person is weak or cant fight. For calling my baby an imaginary baby i will fight u with my last blood cos i went thro hell given birth to dat child. Nw listen u are nothing but an asshole, u think am u dat jump from one man bed to another. Ur two children are basdard. Am waiting 4u for more.

My new year resolution: I will not eat chicken again, will eat only fowl. I will not drink alcohol again, the highest i can drink is BEER.

Thanks for dis info, just bought one last night for my daughter. I quickly went2 check, thank God it hs d correct spelling

Thr are some persons i'm awaiting their BA, dnt knw if i've miss it. I cant read bak so many pages. So congrats to all who hv bn delivered of their LO'S. may GOD guide them.

I wanted2 remain silent but for d sake of those mamas dt a6ted me i want2 say dis. Pls i'm nt a scammer, i hv neva scammed any1 n my life. U were nt scammed. U came2my aid during dt period nd I will 4ver remain grateful come what may. Again i'm grateful and wl remain grateful till d end of my life. I wl neva 4get ur kind gestures toward me during dt time. Pls it ws nt a scam. In life thr are at times one passes sm difficulties whc ws wht happened to us and u mamas cm2my rescue, i wl nt 4get dt no mata d insult, i still appreciate dt gudness. My BS ws nt fake, d condition i went thro then ws nt fake it ws real. If it ws fake let all d CURSES melted hr cm2me. But if it ws true nd nt a scam let all d CURSES TURN INTO BLESSINGS FOR ME. Pls u wr nt scamed it ws real u wiped away my tears nd dt is why i will nt 4get. D person dt called me, u hv already resolved in ur heart2 insult me b4d. I've change my password bt wl nt deactivate my acct. Thr is notin i wl explain dt wl be tkn so i wl nt say anytin further. Pls and pls again mamas dt hlpd me u wr nt scammed at all, i'm grateful nd 4ever wl. Thank u nd gud a.m

Mama dt deem it fit to call and notify me on wht is going on thank u may God reward u. Zahnie and all mamas pls calm dwn so u dnt really accuse wrongly someone is impersonating me and d person leaves wit me, my battle is not over. I am already suspecting two persons my husband younger brothers. They are d only ones who hv access to my phone. Dey knw my username and password. When i got d call i went thro my comment. To start wit i did nt evn comment on patking and curvillious bump, and did nt comment on patking bump response. Dh is nt a social media person and does nt knw my username or password. D same tin is happening on my facebook, friends kip telling me i commented on their post, sm will say i insulted them. I kip imagining whn and whn I check I will not see the comment or post. I hv2 show dh this, is his siblings doing this all this while. Pls Mamas hold on dnt draw negative conclusion I will get to d bottom of this. I cant take this any longer.

belladsweet:
My dear this is how God fights for his people especially the meek. I think your MIL was only trying to push u to the wall to see what you will say so that she will use it against u but thank God, God handled it his way and it backfired. Just b very careful dont even contribute to wat ur SIL say cos some inlaws can b very terrible. continue being nice to all of them esp ur MIL. It is well dear life no easy o esp for a woman in marriage na God dey see us thru .

Thanks sis. I didnt utter a word to SIL. Like u said she ws probably lukn4 wht i wl say cos she no near d bed agn. Thanks 4ur advice.

chrissyjay:
congrats sis...God will continue to fight and speak for you. We are more than conquerors.

Thank u sis. Yes o, more than conquerors. Na God win

curvilicious:
30weeks! 8 or 10weeks to go The bwess is something hels Mummyaudrey wee soon teh me wehdon sa

una get fine fine bump o

PatKing:
Bumpy Tuesday!
Short story...
So on Sunday night, I started planning for Monday.
Tried on over 10tops...
In the spirit of hiding my bump till December. Hubby approved of the one in the pic...
After work... we posed for pictures with friends. Didn't get to see the picture as my phone was the camera and others were using the phone to transfer their pic...
On getting home, lo and behold, look at me... I swear the belle grew at work...
Showed hubby the picture he insist he is not seeing Bump

Is it my eyes?
E be like say everybody at work don sabi!
Yet no body dared ask or mention


No hiding place I guess...
I bless God!
16weeks + 5days.

Cute bump, i'm tempted to............

Anything I do na God win o na God win o na God win o, in all my matter na God win, in all my trials in life na God win, in all my situation in life na God win, in all my difficulties na God win. Na God win o, na God win o na God win o. (singing and dancing). When I start my diary hmmm ppl will gv way2 tears. My God hs done it again for me. HE always comes2 my rescue. HE makes out a way whn thr seems to be none. HE hs always stood by me. Father I gv u d praise, i exalt ur name.








RANT TIME


God hs fought for me sharp sharp, it is his doing. My SIL paid us a v6t 2day to c hw wl are doing. She met me breastfeeding my lo, after exchanging pleasantries she asked after her mother. I told her mama is inside, as usual she hs gn2 lay on d bed. So SIL went inside, d next tin I heard ws SIL voice scolding her mum. "mama y are lyin hr, dnt u hv whr to lye? Abeg stand up 4rm husband nd wife bed. Y u dey lik to embarass ursef, e don reach u to cm dey lye hr. I say u no get whr u dey sleep? Na because bro wife no dey talk u don c am as mumu. Smtin wey u no fit tk ursef. She na replied her daughter, person wey gt house never vex na u go cm go vex, abeg comot mk i c road. Evn if she no talk no mean say she like am. U no fit no wetin dey 4 quiet ppl mind. Ur own room 4 villa na so u dey lock am, evn ur children no dey entet like dt." The quarell ws heating btw them. She said so many tins dat i wl nt want say. I didnt go in while dey wr quarelling. Finally SIL came2 me dt she is going, dat her hs pissed her. D only tin she said2 me ws if i like i shld nt tlk if anytin goes wrong i shld nt cm complaining 2her, kip formin gud DIL until sand sand enter ur garri and she angrily left. MIL hs nt gn2 lye on d bed since dt afternoon. Dh ws nt home, will nt tell him whn he coms bk, unless d 6ter wl him hersef 6nce shes angry. The way of man is nt d way of God. I will 4ever praise u father, 4u hv dn it agn 4me. U hv always bn d father dt I dnt hv. Thank u mamas dt called me for advice. Na God win.

Congrats to u mbliz, richdaflux. I dnt knw if i hv missed sm, so congrats to all d new mamas dt hv birthed their lo's.

[quote author=chrissyjay post=62109818][/quote]Thanks sis.

Rocketsky:
@ heroinqc hp i got d name right. Thrs no harm in xpressing hw u felt nd i understand u very well. I read ur post nd must commend u for bn tolerant by nt raising an issue or quarell btw both of u dats gud. I cn vouch dat most married women will also frown at it evn quarell. Some cm on line to feign pretence, i mean pretending big time to luk as if thr gud. I mean Wolves in sheeps cloths. I hv read most of ur previous post too. Alll i hv to tell u tonite is to be tolerant whr u cn. Thou as a man i also frown at it bt hapi u said she wl nt stay 4ever. Ur post doesnt mk u a bad wife as some hv mk it luk like. I bet u if u shld create dis topic in front page u wl see responses dt its wrong. I admire ur patience. Sm are gud at creating problm on the thread pls ignore and dnt reply. House i dnt like involving mysef in women issue, bt am sorry i hd2 in dis one. Thanks.

Its ok sir. I hv xpressed hw i felt, nd will nt change dt, thou nt raising issue cos of dat. I am a very tolerant person in nature whc is reason i hv nt utter any word to her or to dh apart from dis forum. I respect her. I do the cooking, dh does d laundry, dh is a quiet person. she is hypertensive so i cook her own food separately without adding salt. I do it wit joy dt is y i did nt mention it. D only area am nt comfortable wit is wht i hv said only in dis forum. Thanks for understanding me.

booqee:
hmm I wouldn't like this either.. even if it's my mum.. I detest someone intruding on my personal space especially somewhere like my matrimonial bed... but based on the situation..omugwo things.. i wouldn't complain even though in my mind I don't like it. it's kuku out of love she's doing all that. And she wouldn't be there for ever..

So whenever she does it just take ur mind off it and let it slide..

However, you should let ur hubby know how u feel. he's the one that can talk to her about it in a stylish manner. Never you be the one..

Thank u boogee for ur advice I appreciate.

Rocketsky:
Hv always bn a guest, bt i'm moved to comment. I am a male and must tell u truth. Ifyalways ur comment is very poor. No wonder dey say maturity is not by age. I believe u're a granny as i learnt bt other mamas speech sounds more maturely than urs, u sounded too troublesome. Nw let me be candid here, i am married bt2b sincere i wl nt welcome my mum laying on the bed i share wit my wife in my bedroom. If she goes2 lay d baby wht stops her frm leaving. She shld realize d son is married nd knw her boundaries. Its only in africa ppl tk tins 4granted. Pls lets call a spade a spade. Ur first comment nd dis is a no no 4me. The mama only xpressed her feeling whc is nt wrong. Tins are easier said than done, most mamas hr will nt tolerate tht. Mysef i wont allow my mum to do dt cos am nt single hv2 gv wifey her respect. Thanks.

Its normal to hv logger ahead in a forum like dis. Thank u sir.

casler:
It's OK to feel angry or express feelings, but letting some things slide in marriage, is still in order. You are from a different background as they are. If you complain to him, he may not really understand what the heck you talking about. Take things easy. It's easier to give your family rules and they abide by it, than in-laws. You can carry the mattress up to air it daily. Putting it down when you want to sleep. She will soon leave, but if she leaves with a bad story, it may come back in years. No body will ask for your version of the story. Rather,you working hard to change the story. A little discomfort today for an enjoyable tomorrow, it's our choice based on decisions we take. Happy Sunday.

Thank u. Wht u said is true dt is y am overlukn it. I hv nt evn complain to dh nd wont D only place i felt i cn xpress hw i feel is hr, hv nt complain2 anyone outside hr.

faithisallihave:
Heroinqc, I see you, I hear you. I understand perfectly well how you feel.
I 'used' to hate people entering my bedroom. I particularly hated it when people lied down on my bed. I 'felt' it was inappropriate or even disrespectful . Be it my own family or my husband's.

Just like you, I have a shared bedroom with my husband and that was/is where we do the do. (so anytime we were into it, I would be imagining the people lying there watching us) We didn't use the other room because there wasn't a bed in it.

But now that we have two beds, I feel differently.

So, I understand.

Thanks my sis.

tinutunde:
Dear sister,please try and take it easy with mama,think of the sacrifice she made to assist you in taking care of your baby,she left the comfort of her home just to be with you,know that its just for a while..dont worry,you will soon have your dh,ur bed and your home to yourself alone.kisses

that is d more reason i hv nt complained evn2 dh. Bt dat wil nt stop me from xpressing hw i feel hr. Thanks.

Itissettled3:
Ma'am heroinqc. This your response get as e be.

Ma'am Ifyalways advised you as a grandma and also a mother inlaw. You should have just read her comment, digest the advise and politely explain areas where you felt she didn't understand you.

No one is "quarelling" with you.

Let me reiterate what she said :

1. No vex for MIL
2. Maybe MIL was trying to pacify or cuddle YOUR child on the bed and also fell asleep from exhaustion.
3. Maybe your bed is more comfortable than MIL e.t.c

From this your comment "Her son is nt financially bouyant so whtevr he provides 4her to lie evn mat she shld be ok wit dat" I have even drawn my conclusions.

It is well.

Mama Itissettled3 what is an advice? Advice is nt by age as u claim. Go back and read ifyalways comment, read dat of annieh, zannie, etc and tell me from d tone of their write up who gv d advice. Check d time am posting dis, i just finish bathing my lo while dh is helping wit tyding up. So wht wil b ur conclusion? If u hd read her comment properly, then u will knw y i said dh is nt financially bouyant Sleep dey my eyes i no dey c clear com talk of to c the line u hv drawn.

zaynie:
Since you can't allow your mom lie on your bed, then it's okay to feel uncomfortable with your MIL lying on it.
Like others have suggested, try to get a smaller mattress so baby can sleep in the sitting room or with mama in her room in the afternoons.

What you won't allow forever, don't start now. Better to put and end to it and be known as the wife that doesn't allow people to enter her room than be tagged she has changed o, she's no longer a nice girl.
Just find a subtle way to let her know. For me, I use playplay. I would just say "mama, e be like you like this our bed well well o." be sure to say it with a smile.
Be prepared cos she might ask why you said so, simply tell her politely that "you like taking your naps here now, you and your grandbaby be doing love in Tokyo on my matrimonial bed"
When next she wants to lie down she will caution herself and might even say "make I dey go my room before she will say I'm doing love with....... "



No need to get defensive, we're just trying to get you to let down a little.
But you know your MiL best and know if she's just a simple and unassuming woman or if she's just being sly.



Good luck

I'm nt trying to be defensive bt saying hw i feel in dis area. Like i said b4 she is nt staying 4ever so wl nt bother telling her anytin cos she wl read meaning into it. And i dnt wnt2 hv a clash wit her never. Is nt as if thr is a quarell btw as a result of dt. Jst dt i dnt feel comfortable wit dt bt cn endure it till she leaves, whc i hv bn doing. Just airing hw i feel hr. I like ur last sentence.