And who says kwale weed no strong.... And diz one na person papa oooo.... Chai... Make I no talk sha

Yahoo plus tailor.... The same voodoo yahoo boys to get their client is same she ll do.... You won't just have choice than to patronise her

I no need learn tailoring to sow that cloth for less than 5k unless d Ankara fabrics be made in heaven

Update: dad himself called a pastor friend when d house was boiling and they resolved with him to return d children immediately that it's not acceptable he has since done that.... And these were d same people that told him not to try it initially oooo.... Tho mum wasn't there when he was been talked to and I wasn't there either d pastor gave me update

cjeriia:
@ Op, till ya papa come here come tell us im own side, I no go talk kpakam

You go wait tire... I didn't come here to write with biased mind so as get real solution to provide.... If you read well I wrote d weaknesses of both....i wrote as an umpire to give d true picture of what is happening:

pato405:


You are a woman - & I will give you a piece of advise which I plead with you as a woman to please take it to heart very seriously and make it a rule of thumb: "NEVER MALTREAT A CHILD". believe it or not, there's an inexplicable spirit guiding every child. The two step-mums can face themselves and quarrel - that's by all means fine. BUT leave the children & help them if she can!

Be like say u read another write up oooo..... She didn't maltreat them and won't.... When dey were babies she bought them clothes and d woman greeted d gesture with stupidity then she stopped..... One of d scenes was that because she gave her rule never to step her foot inside her house.... When she went visiting dem at d house dad rented for them when d kids were babies... The woman too ordered her not to enter her house.... Then she decided that whatever she ll do for d children ll be when they are of age to know d history of the family then they ll be old enough to appreciate the gestures

pato405:


But Christ "suffered for your own sins and was the one who suffered emotional, psychological and physical abuse" for you.(Isaiah 53 v 5; II Corinth 5 v 21).

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corin 5 v 21)


If you are a true christian, I'm sure you'll be ashamed of what you typed up there after reading those verses.

That's why she's not Jesus Christ... She Cant be d one to pay d price for someone carelessness and lustful exuberance ....she still has obligation towards her children and life after retirement.... She need rest

pato405:


I will advise, if she has enough to spare, let her give the kids from the other woman (except if she doesn't have). Not of necessity or grudginly, but cheerfully.

I love d adverbial clause of condition.... Buh she doesn't ve enough to spare...... And to correct your notion she doesn't have that strenght to nurse any child not to talk of 4 boys.... She can't be a nanny or cook for dem... She got no time n strenght as she leave for work b4 5.30am n return in d evening.... She sef ll appreciate if she cud get someone to do her domestic needs like cooking.... She's close to 60yrs consider d traffic stress in Lagos....


You're making this sound like a debate that u wanna raise point to win.....

Futureberry:
if she cannot spend her kobo on his court case,den help her out....facilitate the court process for her

U don't get.... She doesn't want him to use d last money he's surviving with on court case

They are welcome..... Clear all skull mining companies, bunkerers n Pls clamp down all kidnappers

Nothing to fear... Afonja's are peaceful people

Nice one

Biko how much last if I wanna book it for my wedding buh it won't fly, you know pilot won't be needed plus fuel won't be needed, I ll bring my servers too.... Just to rent the space....

.

Futureberry:
ask your mum to divorce your dad...that the only way forward

I told her buh she doesnt want him to use his little Kobo on court cases and I don't wanna force her... So I won't be the devil that put asunder.... Buh I have to find a lasting solution b4 I leave d country

pato405:


You are a young man my friend. Just clamp down your pulse. I'll say it again..take things easy. Don't condemn your dad so brutally. Be a man.

I'm a man I and I have carefully developed myself into d opposite of my father. He sees me as rebel.... He felt I shd always support him as a man buh nah he's Fuvking wrong.... He's d worst person I have ever known... I felt God put me tru this training so I can be a close to perfect husband.....im sure I ll do things differently when I'm married by God's grace

mrblessed:
The story you narrated above is pretty complicated and requires critical thinking before taking decision. I wish you have not been impacted with negative ideas about what marriage is. It is unfortunate that your mum has suffered and endured domestic violence and abuse which seemingly expands as their marital years increase. No one deserves to molested, abused, and disrespected, whether man or woman. Contrary to those who claim that your mum accepted this despicable ordeal because she wants to remain married, the children have been here only source inspiration and hope.The picture of the man you painted reveals someone who does what he likes without minding the consequences of his actions. A man who is self-centered and disrespectful to a wife who is hardworking and productive. Even though we know your mum is not without fault, the indiscretion and indiscipline of your dad cannot be rationalize. Given his predilection for physical abuse, I think your mum needs to demonstrate she has had enough by seeking for separation first before thinking of divorce. Your dad contributed to the building of the house; therefore, kicking him out might be a painful and difficult exercise.

You got the picture right

pato405:
Some commentators might be wondering why I am taking my stance on this matter.

Hmmmmm...I really don't know where to start from, but let me put it this way, I have seen a lot in this my little world!

The story OP just narrated up there is an exact replica of what happened to a friend of mine over 25yrs ago! yes! you read right !

To cut the long story short as I do not have the luxury of time, both wives had 5 kids each, but the first wife swore to show the second wife's children hell on earth.

Then, we were both in JSS I think. I remember vividly that he had a younger brother in another class. They were both always looking gloomy, but very brilliant chaps.

I stumbled into him a few months ago and trying to catch-up on lost times, I asked what he was doing (tho I heard through grape vine at some point that he read med & surg). Today, he is an accomplished medical doctor and his younger brother is practicing law in Michigan, USA.

on the other hand, none of the children from the first wife did well even tho they are all graduates today..many of them are even still searching for jobs.

I enquired about his step-mum, he told me she was bed-ridden with diabetes and things have not been too good with her kids. Guess what, he was the one they all turned to for help. He said he, at first thought of paying them back in their own coin, but later reluctantly decided to help. Now, he is the one footing all the diabetes bills and monitoring step-mums health.

PLS NOTE: This is not a concocted story! it's live

Lesson: be nice to people you meet on your way up, you might just as well meet them on your way down!

Abeg OP, make all of una calm down settle this matter.

My 2 pencee.

Well from your story.... Step mum swore to make earth miserable for the step children... Buh Diz case is different.... Shes has nothing against the children buh she doesn't wanna associate with them till they are of age and they ll hear d history.... Her children are not resenting d step children too cuz we know they were innocently born.... Buh it not just time yet.. Their mother is fetish n their grand mother is super fetish

kimbraa:
Your dad was physically abusing your mum with cane and she endowed.

He impregnated another woman and she went for their naming ceremony. Now, he brought the kids he had outside into a house she built and she's complaining. Well, I think she has shown your dad that she needed to bear his surname more than anything.

Since she's been endowing, telling the kids that the house doesn't belong to their father when she no longer needed their presence was a childish move. Even if the man has fùcked up in the past, she encouraged it, supported him at some point so she should've used wisdom rather for him to send the kids back to their mother. Least I forget, kids whose mother's bride price isn't paid are illegitimate so why is she worried whether they stay or not?.

I scolded her for sending a msg tru them back to their mother ...she said she wanted to plant the notion that their father has no property... So they shd know that for future reference

kimbraa:
Your dad was physically abusing your mum with cane and she endowed.

He impregnated another woman and she went for their naming ceremony. Now, he brought the kids he had outside into a house she built and she's complaining. Well, I think she has shown your dad that she needed to bear his surname more than anything.

Since she's been endowing, telling the kids that the house doesn't belong to their father when she no longer needed their presence was a childish move. Even if the man has fùcked up in the past, she encouraged it, supported him at some point so she should've used wisdom rather for him to send the kids back to their mother. Least I forget, kids whose mother's bride price isn't paid are illegitimate so why is she worried whether they stay or not?.

All the pain she endured in d marriage was because she doesn't want her children to come from broken home... She's always trying protect her home.... her nice gesture to attend d naming wasn't cause she loves to bear the surname .....she tot she cud make things work like d mistake never happened buh it never worked....

pato405:


If she wasn't. why threaten to throw the innocent kids from the other woman out? Why not bear them, tolerate, and prove to them that she's truly a tolerant woman? why start telling them that their father did not build the house? she obviously resents them, and truth be told, if those kids grow with that resentment, they'll hate her. It's her house today, who knows tomorrow? Those kids (if shown some luv) might be of help to her & her kids tomorrow. yes, she has her own kids too, who can help her in future, but my brother, the world is a complex place! the vicissitudes of life might just turn the tides. "Help and reward" sometimes comes from where it is least expected - there are countless cases where kids who were victims of maltreatment ESPECIALLY by their step-mums turn out to be last resort for assistance in times of despair. Make una take thins easy o! Lyf na "time & chance"

I scolded her for such attitude buh women ll always remain women ....she could not hold it... Those children are not mature enough to decipher what is wrong from right... Their mum can easily tell Dem to poison her n they ll gladly do cuz they are not mature.... That's her reason for not wanting them close to her.... And I support this too

dominique:
Why hasn't she thrown him out after all these years? She built the house, she's the sbreadwinner yet she endured all that abuse from him and was still enabling him. To what end? To remain a Mrs? From all indications, the marriage has been destroyed beyond repair. Your mum has every right to reject your dad's four other kids since it's her house. She should involve the authorities if need be.

Just put it in prayer that you never marry a man like your father.

He has less than 15% in the money used in buying d land n building d house.... They bought d land using Mr and Mrs.... That's d Ish why he kept claiming Co owner of the house

pato405:
All I can say is...it appears your mum is truly rude. She made the money but it must have taken over her sense of submission at some point. No man wants to lose his regard simply because he's not making enough cash. The two should be one and whatever your mum has achieved, must not necessarily be publicized as her singular effort.

This has always been the problem...whenever a Nigerian man is the sole bread-winner, it's NEVER news! but when the woman is the bread-winner, there's always rancor, pandemonium & chaos. But why?

You have also taken sides with your mum and painted your dad as a monster. Please don't get married with this bias against men...it will only breed more trouble - often it's the reason why it appears as if divorce runs in some families like a genetic disease. It might not be surprising if your dad's side of the story contradicts yours. To every story, there are two sides. No judgement until a balanced case is presented!

How did she appear rude? No one knew she's d sole financial of the house till the issue came up.... She was d financial backbone of dads business....she has tolerated too much.... The money never took over her.... Lemme give instances.... She wakes by 5am n get home by 6 or 7pm yet a man that has little or nothing to do still want her to perform some duties as if she's a house wife... It can't work mehn!....she was ready to support her husband to compete with big men outside.... Buh dad keeps complaining of not getting sex! That was his reason for going out.... I told him women subjected to hardship n stress hardly have urge for sex....thats his problem as men that have less worries n things to occupy their minds with often get Hot most time

To correct your impression I'm a man in my late 20s I'm just using my sisters account to pass my worries cuz I wanna remain anonymous to people that know me too well

stonecoldcafe:


I stand with your mum on this one, the 4 children MUST leave. Let her stand by it and make it very clear for the world (lawyers, her family) to hear.

As for you, never put mouth when your parents are fighting. Don't take sides. Let them fight their battle. They will surely make up. Abi were they not the ones who broke up after your dad ran off to be with the other woman? Didn't he find his way back to your mum? Please don't put mouth in their matter because dem still use you settle last last.

He found his way back into d home buh still doing things separately

The issues behind my parent feud is something that has accumulated over years! Buh I ll brief it the way the story is:

We grew up seeing my dad domestically abuse my mother to the point that she flogs her with cane n use fist on her.... These things have made me develop a level of hatred for him buh there's nothing we cud do to help as we were kids.... Note: the domestic violence reduced when we got into d uni buh it has literally stopped for some years cause he knew the children ll deal with him if he tries that.... I do categorically tell him I ll fight him if he tries that.... They are bold old now no strenght to fight again unless na mouth fight

My mum is a workaholic n in turn she became d bread winner of the house cuz she earn more... Fast forward to the past 11 years my dad took to d advice of people I still regards as fools even when I don't know them.... The advice is "when you're dealing with a wife that is not submissive marry another woman to relegate her " his definition of submission is something I don't know till when I became adult ....i got to know that he likes to dictates n the ego of the head of the house have swallowed him.... He doesn't want his decision questioned cuz he feels his wiser than all: so he had an extra marital affair and got a lady pregnant which have birth to a triplet.... Meanwhile the legally married wife have birth to four " 3 girls n a boy"

Mum accepted it as error n never wanted it to affect her home n her marriage.... She did d naming with them n reached a verbal agreement with her husband that he should be sending them money n not to marry d woman..... Later issues came up... My dad start sneaking there in d name of vigil n mum as use an informant on him...so she got to know.... Dad in defense said if he doesnt marry her who does she expect to marry a lady after 3 children n later they gave birth to another child again ... At this point mum said okay Im letting you go... You can't be having sex with that woman that has indecent story n have sex with me...using sexually transmitted disease has a yardstick.... Overtime mum withdrew her financial support from dad so the new wife could see the true picture....as a result dad went really down and mum had so much addition to her assets... When dad went down issues start springing forth from his new wife, cud not pay rent of the house they were staying after selling his cars n to cut d story short he sold his last asset to get his footings back after going to pray from mountain to mountain and he returned home....fast forward 2yrs to d present now.... some days ago he said he want to be bringing the children home to spend holiday with him n mum was like no not in this house she built....yes 80-90% of the cost the house is from her sweat.... They called pastors n family to d issue n dad said okay he won't do that again... Now yesterday he brought d four children home... Mum was calm till Diz afternoon cuz I told her not to alter a word as she said she ll file a case against him in the court... Buh Diz afternoon she lost her calmness and started telling d children that... She doesn't hate them buh she hate their father and they should tell their father to build house for them and their mum cuz she built that house....so they shd know it's not their fathers house..... I was trying to go caution her when I heard dad said this thing you're doing when these children grow up they ll get a gun and kill you.... Then I got mad and say WTF.... Y would u say such....kill who! No no this is d height of it and for the statement he just made he shd forget he has me and my siblings. And I personally ll deal with him if he try any crazy move:


Advise is needed.... Mothers in d house, lawyers and Co....

My mum n dad are close to 60yrs ....over 30
Yrs in marriage yet no peace

Sorry for the long story I want advisers to get clear pictures.... Pardon my grammatical blunders as m feeling lazy to proof read

The way random people cook up stories just to put food on Seun osewa's table ehn..... D guy makes his money from d hustle of people looking for likes, share, attention etc...... I'm only here to entertain myself even if I know my presence fetch money for Seun....mod once ban me from commenting buh do I ve anything to loose if I don't comment ni?


Soon I ll launch a site that ll compete with nairaland n kill nairaland

You can ban me forever I don't care

Happy independence Nigeria


Drop your independence message for Nigeria and NAIRALANDERS

orijintv:
Baba Keke just bleeped up! How on earth would anyone believe that this psquare feud is fake? With the kind name wey they get for industry you expect them to do all this childish publicity stunt to make sales? Nah Nah, Dey've gone past that level. This feud has been going on for years i guess, i'm sure both parties couldnt just take it anymore. I wish them the very best and i do hope and pray that they come bak together.

#PSquare For Life

If You're close to all these celebrities you ll know what SHOW BUSINESS IS! You ll hardly believe anything you c on camera sef! baba keke is speaking from experience

kinibigdeal:


Smiles! how then do you know i was referring to rokiatu..That funny. Same thing applies to lala247, seems she also have a change of moniker

Perfect example of monitoring spirits.....

praxisnetworks:

If the army disappeared el zakyzaky then they can't be exonerated from the disappearing of kanu.

They didn't deny El zaky is in private detention.... House arrest in Abuja one of DSS secret homes

Some people will just go and copy Oyinbo post and paste it here..... If you play by those rules up there you ll probably end up in MFM fasting n praying for husband to come


Some guys philosophy: you don't hold them like a pinch of salt and expect them to carry u like a bag of rice!

As a lady I follow this rule too...

Make I read comments jaree

Nigerians abroad: omo it's not easy here ooo.... Una wey dey Naija no know as e dey go.... Chai I wan die

Nigerians @home: Ehya.... Buh me sef just dey hustle to come... Naija no get plans for us I swear

Nigerian abroad (NAIRALANDERS) : it is same abroad you can make same amount in Nigeria Infact u can do better at home

Me: abroad no easy, e hard, I wan die.... Oya dey come Naija na... Hian.... Dey won't.... E no easy e no good still yet dey no wan comot Y? at it worst it's Fuvking better than Nigeria



My point is.... My friends n siblings abroad ve been like..... Omo find your way enter here oooo.... E no easy buh far better than Nigeria....


FACT: people abroad can earn a Nigerian salary in a day after tax..... D Hustle there us that if u try to live well then you cant save buh if u control your expenses like not barbing every week or going natural against d way we are used to here, to drink coke na luxury, no clubbing, no fast food meals, no vacation..... Just work, eat and sleep then do dreads that ll last for like 6 months from a Nigerian friend that can plait well or cut ur hair like twice a month.... Then ur savings ll be more than what many earn in Nigeria.

It's good for young blood that still have strenght to hustle.... And if God on your side u study there n get a full time job.... Omo na blood money u dey so

A friend to a friend got compensated with £20k just because of say door fell on him... Can u imagine that amount in naira ....our leaders have failed us... If u can get your ass to a developed country... Take d risk... The risk is higher if you don't take d bold step