₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
Mascara is more than enough jor

xtenxive:
There is a difference between Sisioge & Sisisioge na

sisisioge:


It is one fashion accessory I can't deal with...na load!

Izen:
First, let's get this out of the way - It's unrealistic to date someone that won't be comfortable enough to ask you for something without feeling judged. Naturally, you would want to give to someone you love.

That said, I feel you've been an enabler in this situation. A lot of ladies have the mindset that money is the only thing a Nigerian man can offer them and they may not be totally wrong. So if they're going to cook for you, clean up after you, do all kinds of stuff for you, they must get something in return. Trying to get our men to offer anything besides money in a relationship is as difficult as difficult can get. You might want to say but what do women offer too? Well, if you don't have expectations from your girlfriend such as, cook when they visit, wash your clothes, etc, then you might have a point. But if you do, well that's what they have to offer you. I know you want to say "I can do all these things by myself" but then you're not doing them by yourself and you will judge them if they don't do it for you.

Another reason why I think you might be an enabler is that a lot of men want to stamp their foot early on in a relationship to show who is in charge. We all know money speaks and it gives bargaining power to the holder. Subconsciously, a lot of men show off that they're more than capable and as such deserve respect. In turn, the ladies in their lives interpret that as them having a lot of money to throw around.

What to do;
1. Build your confidence in such a way that even without money, your woman will respect you still.
A trick is to respect your woman too, it works magic.
2. Be ready to offer something besides finances that will make your woman more than grateful.
E.g. she's got exams, stay up with her to revise her books, get her a cup of tea while at it. Little things like this go a long way, and it shows you care about her progress.

Moving on, while it is wrong for anyone to blackmail you emotionally to spend on them, being overtly stingy too is a red flag. If you're dating, it means there's a likelihood of you settling down together. No woman on earth will knowingly marry someone she has to plead with before the children's wardrobe are changed or school fees are paid. Giving is a habit that doesn't suddenly develop when you get married.

Finally, you may be looking in the wrong direction. A lot of men want "wife material". Naturally, any woman comfortable enough to be a wife material in the Nigerian context will also expect her man to be husband material in the Nigerian context, aka sole provider. If you feel strongly about the women in your life being demanding, then you might also have to change your expectations of them. I know a lot of ladies that will rather drop on their heads than ask their man for money. Because they're very concerned about being financially independent, the last thing on their minds will be trying to be a wife material.

Basically, any decision you make has it's pros and cons. So decide which is more important to you. We can't always eat our cake and have it.

darkelf:
Seeing these posts reminds me of how lucky I am.

My girlfriend even takes me out on all expense paid dates.

God bless my Vicky for me

darkelf:
Seeing these posts reminds me of how lucky I am.

My girlfriend even takes me out on all expense paid dates.

God bless my Vicky for me

fancy4eve:
Neva said been dependent is a good idea, only said guys should stop tagging gals broke,dey shouldn't make ladies look cheap, if ur gal frwnd is dependent doesn't mean ladies in general are. Am not dependent nd cn Neva encourage anyone 2 b. I got ur point ohk. Dat mention was a reply 2 wat sumone said. Tanx

Elder001:
No time for long talks
just accept y'all aren't equal to men. when it comes to financial responsibility you won't see feminists but when it comes to other stuffs they'll start dragging rights.

as for your post; listen carefully, guys don't tax ladies.
except the love is real because only ladies that truly love you can give you money.

franchasng:
That is it! I have this average buoyant handsome friend who was dating a very pretty lady working in a big firm where she earned around 250k per month salary and drove Toyota Corolla 2006. This my guy is a bit loaded, but he broke up with the girl, why

Ladies really need to be careful mhen, this lady just threw a golden opportunity to spend her life with an amazing successful young man who don't chase ladies around despite his success.

She demanded for my guy, her boyfriend abi fiance to change her car for her, that is he not ashamed that she is still driving this old model car, 2006 car, old model car Ah, our ladies get mind i swear

My guy said the first day she said this, he took it as a joke, not until a day they had mild disagreement and she repeated it in a louder way hehe.....and that was the bullet that killed the hero

Out of my mumu pity pity mind, I was even pleading on the girl's behalf for him to forgive her and give her a second chance, but my guy told me that if I know what he knows about this relationship that he doesn't tell us, that I will advice him to end it now!

He later revealed to me how this lady that earns 250k o keep demanding for this and that....maybe she was the one taking care of her entire lineage sha cos she's the first daughter, but even at that....she ought to have exercised restraint, and the guy is now married to a wonderful lady, prettier and will I say richer than his ex, life sha...guys open your eyes o, no enter gutter with your two eyes open, our world has changed....every family now should be funded by the husband and the wife for a stable family in case one dies or becomes incapacitated tomorrow, u never can tell

Elder001:
Some guys will say "as a man it's your duty to take care of your woman"

as a man my ass... is a girlfriend your woman?
the same ladies that are claiming equal rights with us abi?

any lady that'll say men aren't superior to women on nairaland.. I swear I'll tell her terrible words that can make her to attempt suicide.


Y'all should just accept men are kings and we can't and will never be equal.

Psittacus:
Whao!!.love this colour sha..

hify9935:
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