₦airaland Forum

eleojo23: Much of your years on earth may have been a conscious effort to please your parents and to live up to their high standards.

There are a lot of people out there who have big dreams, who want to do something meaningful with their lives, but they are worried about what their parents will think. All this time, everything had to be the way their parents wanted it and now they are worried about abandoning them. They are worried about disappointing them. They are worried that, if they are to trust their guts and follow their hearts, that they may end up being disowned by the very people they owe their lives to.ju

The big question is, Why do your parents always want to decide for you? It is mostly for the best of reasons. Let's consider some of them.

1. They want to protect you. Your parents have the right to be caring, concerned and emotional. They don't want to see you fail. They want you to succeed at everything and never get hurt. But the world doesn't work that way. Shield a child from pain and she'll never really live

When your mum told you to study medicine / business / marketing / whatever at university, she meant well.
When she suggested that Bola had all the qualities she would want in a daughter-in-law, she meant well.
When your dad told you to take up that job, he was telling you what he thought you needed to hear.
They wanted you to be happy.
They wanted you to be fulfilled.
They wanted you to feel powerful, in control, and valuable.
They gave you the life plan they followed and you just need to follow the same life plan as them and with a bit of luck, you're going to be confident, strong, happy, fulfilled, and free. Right?
Unfortunately, no. Happiness doesn't work like that.

As important and innocent as parental guidance is in the life of their children, it is important to note that the effort to make kids into what their parents want them to be might not always be the best for them. Naturally, responsible parents want their children to be successful in life and this often drives them into taking various decisions for their children some of which might not just be what the child was cut out for.

Choosing careers for kids could lead to lifelong regrets as most parents often do not take into cognizance the talent, interest and capabilities of their kids and would rather they studied the popular courses; medicine, law engineering and the like. The kid in an effort to keep his reputation of being a bright chap would work very hard and graduate but might never find fulfillment in that profession.
The same scenario plays itself out in other situations like in choosing life partners, job preferences, etc.

Living someone else's life plan is the fastest and most consistent path to an unfulfilling, unrewarding, and frustrating existence.
You need to take a walk to the nearest bar to observe the disappointed, sad, and angry guys trying to forget their pain over bottles of beer to see how well living someone else’s life plan works.

2. Another reason is the fear of change.
Many parents don't want their kids deviating from the norm because then the parents themselves will have to figure out a new reality, a different and uncomfortable reality where their kid doesn’t follow the rules and act predictably.
They tell their kids "nobody in the family has ever taken that path before"
But hey, everything changes. Nothing stays the same.

3. They really do need you.
This is another reason why your parents may show resistance to you pursuing your dreams.
If you're an only child or somehow your parents’ life support system, you can’t just drop everything and head off into the world to chase your biggest dream, leaving your parents to fend for themselves. We totally get and respect that. Giving up your own ambitions to care for loved ones is nothing short of heroic.
You need to be careful here though. Many sons and daughters tell themselves that their parents can’t live without them, when in fact that’s just a convenient excuse to keep them from taking a scary leap.

These points above are some of the reasons why children are often ‘trapped’ in their parent’s dreams.

While you should hold nothing against your parents for the decisions they’ve taken or made you take all these years,-though you might have reasons to disagree with some of them,- you have to however decided that from now henceforth, you will be responsible for your actions. This doesn’t in any way suggest doing away with their superior advice and wise counsel, it only means that in taking decisions especially on issues that relates to your life and future, the first consideration will no more be what would be pleasing to your parents, but what you want for yourself and how such a decisions fits into your plans for a fulfilling life.
You must at a certain age begin to mould yourself into your dreams, not that of your parents. You must be bold enough to leave the comfort zone of your parent’s protection and chart a course for your own life. It doesn’t mean you should rebel, but to find a way to make them understand that you’ve got some plan which can work out fine with their support.
The best way you can take away all the insecurities they have about your dreams is to show them you succeeded. If you show confidence at what you are up to and work hard at it, your parents are sure to give you some benefit of doubt and support you if need be.

The crux of this issue is, you shouldn't let anything keep you from pursuing your dreams and finding fulfillment in your own life. You should appreciate your parent's love and concern towards you but the fact is, your parents have had their own lives. This is yours and it is incumbent on you to make the best of it. In the end, your parent's dream is the same as yours and that is to see you happy and successful. It’s just that you have a different way of getting there.


Feel free to contribute to this piece by sharing your experiences.

Babymama1: Many years ago in a conversation,I told someone that a time would come in Nigeria when a child born will know nothing else but how to cheat and scheme and connive and dupe others or do whatever it takes to get ahead.
I believe Nigeria is at that time now.
The place is useless.Increasingly I feel a lot of disgust for that land.
I pretend to love it when sorrounded by foreigners,I won't let people bash my country and get away without a response but in my heart of hearts ,I agree with them.
I held out hope for years till I told myself the truth and that truth is that the only way that country could be saved is by a Passover,the like of what happened in Biblical times when the children of Israel wanted to leave Egypt and the angel of death had to kill the first sons of the Egyptians while passing over the house of the Israelites.
There should be a Passover of some sort where every man or woman who had a hand in the rot of the land is done away with by a similar angel ,all in one night so fear can grip the survivors and perhaps change will come.
At the current state we are in,there is no hope for a change
The foundation and make up of the country and it's systems are completely rotted.
There is hardly any truthful man in the land
Everyone expects something for nothing and something for something.
There is no love in anyone's heart for Nigeria
Don't get me wrong,America is no paradise but Americans are genuinely proud of their country and would fight to defend it.
Nigerians are not proud of Nigeria and who could blame them
The country has done nothing for any of us
Dying for Nigeria is useless!it is not worth it
I make bold to state that all those who died in a fight to keep Nigeria one died in vain,sadly.
The country is not worth dying for.

Blackchampion: I was just recounting ceaseless times I'd read abt people taking their life, including suicide bombers. Even narrowed down to my school days wen a course mate of mine shut himself cos he was caught with paper cheating in d exam hall n was expelled in our 2nd year.
Also i've heard people talking abt times wen some situations has put d thought of teking dia life into them. If u have ever thought of dat, what was d problem n how did u manage d situation to live till today?
.
Share ur experiences as it may help someone out there.
.
#Teamsaynotosuicide

ayo84: Preacher Attempts to Walk on Water and Drowns.

“An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus’ miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon’s capital of Libreville. ‘He told churchgoers he’d had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus,’ an eyewitness told theGlasgow Daily Record.
‘He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back.’

https://www.christiancourier.com/articles/1294-preacher-attempts-to-walk-on-water-and-drowns

codebrew85: I don't know if anyone had observed it, there seems to be no change in the market. Whenever you tender a 500 or 1000 naira bill to a seller, the next thing you would hear is, 'oga no change o'. You'll later end up not buying the stuffs you intended buying because, there's no change. As funny as this may sound, it's very frustrating and annoying. Could this be a general thing or just peculiar to lagos alone? Or could it be that CBN is hoarding the lesser bills?
Please people share your experience.

hiuser: Here we go! Biafra war 1960 :
No mainframes in naija but everywhere
except you(mainframes are out dude!),
illiteracy for all of us into writing code think
cobol! No intelligence into fabbing or small
talk 1980(since)! Importance of objective C
code wasn't there think mac computing to
build and successfully deploy a stable
algorithm for compute ready execution!
THAT IS WHY YOU COULDN'T. DADDY IBM
WASN'T THERE! UNTIL YOU ENTERED USA.
But even some European countries don't
even warn you about macs. They sell you
others things even in this generation to kill
you into illiteracy anyways. So go home and
read your books yourself ooh God poor boy! I
HAD TO SEE IBM AND ALL PERSONALLY
thats what they told me back there abroad
in Europe for not coming on time! And I
didn't there until I entered naira then there
is you thinking....like a a nerd .
What can we say? BUY A MAC BOOK or
something because the stack is complete.
THERE IS NO STACK OVERFLOW IN THE
CODE. YOU CAN ONLY WRITE IN CLASSES:
STABLE FRESH BEAUTIFUL STINKING RICH
PLACES. Want to note in assembly and C?
you needed smalltalk and all.
NOOOOOWWW! HOW CAN I MONOPOLIZE IT?
NEVER FIND IT IN YOUR GENERATION.
NEVER EVER BAKE A TRANSISTOR IN YOUR
LIFE! YOU WERE AN OFFICER TO BEGIN
WITH? DO YOU CRIMINALIZE YOUR STATUS?
OOH I MADE GUNS..YES ME IBM AS WELL. I
SELL IT. IF PEOPLE SHOOT YOU FOR copying
a stack of cobol code..(into billions of it) it is
because you just had a small portion into a
math library elsewhere to write into all that
million of years of delay afterall you didnt
come on time to code with all of us!
WTF is this?

lagcity: Not surprised. UK, US, and Israel all supported the apartheid regime. Israel actually helped the regime with its nuclear weapons program. There is nothing these countries can do to surprise me; they are hypocrites.

XLR8: Its so hilarious when i see some Nigerians detest and even condemn some animals because of some beliefs they hold against them, majorly withfcraft.
Animals like cats,hawks,vultures,raven,owl to mention a few are really hated by some people. As a kid I also hated them but as i grew older, I found out that these animals are benign.
NB- my mom really hates cats.
Also, these superstitious people believe that withes and wizards like rednaxelot turns to some kind of bird & fly at night. I really hate cats because of the fear that had been instilled in me from childhood.

I vividly remember a day i followed my mom to her friend's house, they were chatting and an owl or was it a raven perched on the electrical pole near her house. On sighting it, she started yelling "BLOOD OF JESUS", "FIRE" and threw stones until the innocent bird flew away. ..me just dey pity the bird..can picture its shocked face.

You can compare your own beliefs also.

Pesuzok: If you have any vehicle in mind, you can ask and i will check to see what you can get.[i][/i][color=#000099][/color]

you can ask and i will check to see what you can get.

israel007: I bet you would have said the something about MTN before they came to Nigeria

BABSIN: Do You Know That Nelson Mandela Was On US Terrorist Watch List Until 2008?



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/05/nelson-mandela-terrorist_n_4394392.html