₦airaland Forum

naijababe: Possible but I think it will struggle to 1319/20

hMMM, Make we dey look sha, keep me alert o, i wan tap from you.

carefreewannabe: You STILL have NOT given any LOGICAL reason for what a man's primary role should be; same for a woman's primary role.

Don't worry, you will not be able to do so because there is absolutely no LOGICAL reason why the roles cannot be reversed.

AGAIN:

What makes a man UNABLE to stay at home with his children?

Are you actually saying this or you just feign blindness? it seems you don't even read what i write, rather just quote.. TYPICAL!

carefreewannabe: This is your conviction but it remains a conviction, which I respect, but which is not some higher truth that everyone must stick to.

This conviction produces MANY families where women are threatened to be send packing because it is HIS house, she has not earned any money, even though she was working at home all day and all night.

I know why some people here are so eager to prove why a man should hold financial power. It is nice to leave the house, go into the world, work for some 8-10 hours, come home and be treated like a king and threaten the wife to send her packing or with a second wife if she does not do as she is told, even though her job as a house wife and mother does not end after some 8-10 hours but is to be done 24 / 7.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a father staying at home with his children and you do not argue on behalf of a child's well-being, you are just not willing to give up the financial power you hold and the comfort you enjoy.



Attention is also required of fathers. Children are more fond of their mothers because mothers spend more time with them, not because they are "naturally" more fond of mothers.

Who is talking about working hourse from 5:30 - 10?

And who told you that it is ok for fatherS to spend little time with their kids?

And again:

WHY IS A MAN UNABLE TO GIVE HIS OWN CHILDREN ATTENTION AT A TENDER AGE? DOES HE HAVE ANY DISABILITY TO DO SO?

And what is the "higher truth you believe in"?
It seems you always read only what you have in my mind, did i say the woman should not work or make her own money? please we are not foolss here! (WHERE DID I SAY A WOMAN SHOULD REMAIN INDOORS?) Do not put words into my mouth. (Typical of some women)

Nope, it's wrong for a man to stay at home all day with the kids, he gives them the wrong impression of what a man should be, same with women, idleness (even though taking care of kids is a job on its own), everyone should be engaged, at work, everyone works, yet some have lesser work and still earn more, some leave earlier than the rest, yet earn more and hold higher positions. this is how a system works.

Yes, it's because kids are "naturally" fond of their mom, for God's sake, the womb and the breast are not just there, they have an impact in a child's life, the man does not have these "tools". stop thinking your womb and breast are signboards or factories, they serve much more purpose than that. (A tip why are young animals more fond of their mothers than their fathers?

I am the one talking about 5:30am-9-10pm, because every sensible and honest person out there knows that this time-frame is very peculiar in the corporate world and alot of career women are caught in this time-frame trap.

Daycare and schools now do the jobs of parents because everyone of them wants to make money, the result? wayward kids and unsafe environment!

naijababe: I expect gold to either hold 1306 or travel back down to 127x. Standing aside things

Maybe a rise to 1330 again, then viola 125x?

carefreewannabe: I already know that you think this way but WHY are the chores not his primary role but the woman's?



All of this can also be done by the mother.
Why are the chores to his discretion?

I didn't ask you to say what you consider a man's and a woman's roles, I was aware of your convictions.




Nothing makes a woman unable to do house chores and look after her children.

A woman should leave home before her husband and kids and return later when she and her husband agree on such an arrangement because, for example, she has a job that pays better or because she is about to be promoted or because she is temporarily working on an importnat project.

The reason why the chores are not his primary role have been explained by stating out his primary role.

No, this is why roles and responsibilities come in, let everyone vigorously face the main role and only assist in the other role, women should do what they are good at, nurturing the young ones while the men should do theirs, making sure they remain the role model they are.

Because he should face the main things, why wash plates when you cant even provide the food to be served with the plates?

BTW, i do not even care about the plates, clothes and the rest, there are machines that can do that, i am talking about things that affect the development of the children and the family, not these petty things you are bringing up. (BTW, i wash my clothes myself even though i have at least 4 people that can do them for me)

Then you obviously do not know the real reason a woman was given a womb and 2 beautiful oranges if you think its okay for her to leave home even before the kids are up from bed and also return home when the kids are fast asleep. her primary ROLE is not to chase money but to oversee the development of the kids she carried/breastfed for 9 months.

If you want chasing money and career as your primary goals, i advice you do not give birth to kids you have no time for.

carefreewannabe: House chores: laundry, dishes, cleaning, irnoning ....

Nurture: providing food and drinks, showing love, affection and attention ...

Provision of food to me remains the main job of the man, the woman should only serve as backup and not take up the responsibility equally with the man. the main is to manage what was provided by the main!

Attention is the main thing a woman is expected to give to her kids which kids need while growing up, the man can't give this at a tender age, kids are fond/closer to their mom than their dad during this period of their lives. how can a woman who leaves home by 5:30am, returns by 9-10pm at night give this?

carefreewannabe: I agree and the number one job of a father is to nurture too.



Like I said, it was a metaphor.



First of all, I will NEVER agree that I am NATURALLY expected to do the chores. This is your conviction, not mine but maybe you can explain to me what makes a man UNABLE or DISABLED to clean up after himself / do the chores.

Wait o.. when you say "chores", can you break this down?

I showed you or you decided to ignore it because it didn't support your views? go back to my previous posts

When i say nurture, what do you understand by the word "nurture"?

carefreewannabe: honeric01

You were debating with me for hours last night and when I woke up you were still here, so where are you now?

I am waiting for an answer.

What exactly makes a man UNABLE to do house chores and look after his children?

In the office
I don't have any issue with men doing chores or looking after their kids
Now, the chores are not his primary role, looking after the kids are his primary roles.

This role (Looking after the kids) are as follows : (IMO)

Stand as a role model, what a man should be, how to be responsible,
Providing food,
Shelter,
Protection,
Love,
Support (Educationally and morally, spiritually and otherwise)

These are his MAJOR ROLES

The rest are minor.

The chores are to his discretion.

Now, to you:

What exactly makes a woman UNABLE to do house chores and look after her children and why should a mother leave home before her husband and kids and also return home later than the kids and husband?

carefreewannabe: I have countered EVERYTHING and shown that apart from physical strength, which men usually have more of, there is NOTHING else in your post that is particular of one gender. Consequently, MEN CAN AS WELL AS WOMEN TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN.




Exactly. I couldn't agree more.



I never said "anyone can do anything" in a marriage. I said a couple must have the freedom to decide TOGETHER how to run a family.



It is boring to explain one nd the same thing again and again.



Your kind is an obstacle to progress that Nigeria DESPERATELY needs.

Keep telling your daughters that there place is in the kitchen and Nigerian economy will flourish.

Let more chai chai chai diaris God ooo women raise more dumb children.

Let more girls sell their bodies to get a recharge card for their phone.

Best model ever is a joke.



It was a metaphor but if you have never watched female animals fighting and hunting, I recommend that you watch discovery channel.

You still do not get it, rather trying to twist this conversation, no one is saying female should end up in the kitchen, that is what you made up yourself just to "hold on to that straw". My point still remain, the number one JOB of every MOTHER is to nurture, if you fail in nurturing the young ones with the excuse of "working" and chasing your "career", then you have failed womanhood. (Note: I am talking to mothers, not girls or shemales)

The lionesses fight and hunt for food "together in a pack" unlike the lion that hunts alone (CAN YOU SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?) and when it comes to protection, they rely on the Alpha lion who takes care of the security against other lions. you should watch National geography channel more and not discovery channel

Nothing wrong with deciding how to run a home, but when you start saying your husband should do the chores you are naturally expected to do on the basis of "anything fly", then you are distorting the natural flow. you said responsibilities should not be shared based on gender and i showed you why most of the "family-related" responsibilities must be shared base on the gender. now you are trying to dribble yourself and at the same time play the "blackmail" card.

I believe alot of people can see through your post the kind of person you are.

carefreewannabe: Both parents unless re. tarded can be equally close to children. A father, like a mother, CAN be even closer.



I am a lioness, I can provide a lot of security.



Anyone can gather unless he or she is a re. tard. What is difficult about it?



This really does not depend on gender. I have brilliant management skills, so does my sweetheart.



Some women are bigger and stronger than some men, so?
Physical force is not of the utmost importance in modern, developed societies.



Empathy is not a female privilege, if it was, there would be no male psychologists.

You wanted me to generalise, it won't happen. It would be wrong to do so. Reality is far more complex.




I am a social critic, especially when it comes to societies that are failures so do not expect me to stick to societal norms that I consider rubbish, same for cultural norms.

I have no problem with nature but my abilities do not begin and end with breeding and cleaning.

Like I said, there are plenty of women eager to get married and to dedicate themselves to family life and traditional roles, go and find one. I am perfectly ok with it but I will continue making money and my sweetheart is supporting it

It's easy to know someone who's grasping at straw when he or she is basing his or her arguments on rare exceptions.

You have also handpicked what you think you can "counter" while ignoring the rest.

How many women are stronger? how many men can multitask?

Women lacking in motherly features should not get married same with men lacking fatherly features. marriage is supposed to be optional and not a must.

Marriage is for selfless and ever ready to compromise set of people, these features can't and must not be lost to " anyone can do anything " mindset.

It's cheap to play ostrich so enjoy your "anything fly mantra".

Btw, I am not searching for what I already have so quit bringing that up. your kind of person are the ones distorting natural balance which the world is presently bearing the brunt of the aftermath effects.

Another error from you, lioness don't provide their own security, the lion does the securing against intruders. if you're married to a man weaker than you, then there is a problem.

carefreewannabe: Says who?

Is Nigeria a proof of how successful this model is?



I never said that family members do not have to take responsibilities. All I am saying is that nobody will dictate me what my "natural" or "religious" responsibilities are. It is my and my partner's business.



These roles depend on one's abilities, not on someone's gender. This is the CRUCIAL difference.

By ability , who do you think should be closer to the children?
By ability, who should provide security?
By ability, who should gather?
By ability, who should manage?

By ability, why are men bigger, stronger and rational but single Tasker?
By ability, why are women smaller, "weaker" and irrational but a multitasker?
By ability, why are women more compassionate and more sympathetic/empathetic?

Society, nature, ability and cultural views say a woman gives birth and breastfeed, would you rather the man give birth and breastfeed since you do not want culture, religion or society dictating what is 'default' to you?

carefreewannabe: To get the job many others would love to have but very few can.



Only me?




I have competed to get the job many others wanted to have but a few could.
If there was no competition, people would not strive to be better and better, example: World Cup.



Did I say it was?

Yes you are by your 'anything goes attitude" there are roles in the home and this you can't fault because it has remained the best model for home building so far. When no one in particular is incharge of some roles in the home , what you see is lawlessness and lack of commitment.

why do you think everyone is given a specific role to play at work?

bukatyne: A caveat at the end would have sufficed

It is one trackness to think it is only selfishness or trying to compete with hubby that makes women stay out long hours. Working a job is very different from building a career.

I have an aversion to staying out late. I leave home the latest possible time and leave at the earliest I can after I am satisfied I have done a good day's job.

When you have those who look up to you at home and you stay out late because you want to be paid and promoted at work to me is selfishness. that's what I'm driving at.

carefreewannabe: Look, I have the job of my dreams. I worked hard to get there. I am the best I can be and my bosses are more than satisfied with me. I love what I am doing. I have a permanent contract and consequently do not have to compete against anyone BUT I had no problem to compete against anyone in the past, men or women, black or white, Germans or immigrants. It was NOT about the battle of se. xes for me, it was about the battle of the best and it got me where I wanted to be. I am proud, my family is proud, my friends are proud so why does it pain you?


If you think that a career woman is unable to raise your children properly, do not marry any. Or if you are so concerned about the well-being of children, stay at home and look after them. What stops you?

Even if you are somewhat scared of female competition instead of feeling motivated, you must KNOW that working women will contribute POSITIVELY to the economy.

Working women → more money → more demand for goods and services → more jobs → more prosperity

One question, why would you want to compete in the first place? to prove something that you were deprived?

You can be who you want to be but when it comes to the issue of marriage and raising kids, you must be selfless and ready to let go.

I have no problem with you competing at work or wherever and I have never competed with anyone (work) before so it's not about me.

just letting you know that the home front is not for competitors.

carefreewannabe: As if the society as it is now was good, what are you talking about?

You are actually the one i should be asking what you are talking about. you said you wouldn't mind competing with men and it's worth it and i ask again, to what end?

bukatyne: Bros,

This is not about me and don't make it so

You asked a question and I gave you a answer

When you see people with such arrangements, you can advice their husbands to divorce them and marry selfless wives

The "you" was not directed at you, hence the "", only for those who fit into the bracket or do you fit?

carefreewannabe: It is not about competition with men but even if it was, it would do a lot of good.

At the detriment of the kids, the future and the society, worth it huh?

carefreewannabe: According to you Nigerian kids should be the best in the world then.

Anyway, you are free to have it your way in your own home. You will find PLENTY OF ladies who like it this way.

How did you arrive at this? and sorry, not every woman is into competition with men, majority of ladies believe this is how life and the home front should be.

bukatyne: Trust me, when I started working I knew it was not black & white

Every average man & woman especially a married one wants a well paying job with half work hours and twice the pay (My dream job ). Alas, reality is different. Even Oil companies that close early resume by 7am (Do you know the time one has to leave for work?)

We all have to learn to balance well.

And yes, some women work late/take up extra tasks to look efficient.

If life throws "you" a lemon, aren't "you" suppose to make lemonade outta it? is anyone putting a gun on any woman's head to work in places where "logistics" is bad? are there no women actually living and working on these "environment" who still have time for their kids? and what makes "you" think i don't know life is not white and black?

We can always find excuses for why we don't want to do what we ought to do when selfish and self-centered, we want to have it all and keep chasing shadows while the society keeps getting worse through decaying sense care, interpersonal relationship with our loved ones e.t.c.

Why should a woman take up any job that warrants her leaving home by 5:30 am and coming home by 9-10 pm when she's not the breadwinner?

If "you" think "you" have no choice but to take up jobs with this schedule, i would advice "you" don't get married at all so the country and the society at large won't be burdened with wayward kids from dysfunctional homes/homes without care, attention or role models.

Marriage and having kids should be reserved only to selfless people who are not greedy and self-centered.

carefreewannabe: When I say freedom, I mean that the couple decides for themselves and not the society.
Saying that a man is not man enough if he takes some time off to take cre of his children is intolerant.
Saying that a mother is not good mother when she has a career is intolerant.

Let people / families do what is in their best interest.

Well to me I believe the major reason the society is getting worse is because of this "whatever rocks tour boat" mantra, people just think up anything they like and act it and then throw up the "it's my business " card when others frown at their actions.

Failure at home is what has turned the society upside down.and I don't share your views. the world we are today is a world where selfishness and greed take the center circle and people no longer care about the overall effect of their actions. wayward kids from dysfunctional homes where "anything goes" are tearing the society apart and I think "anything goes should not be encouraged in a family setting.

Fathers should know their roles and mothers should know theirs too, trying to flip this around is not healthy and won't be healthy no matter what.

kids are now growing up with no idea of what roles and responsibilities stand for.

Whether you like it or not, the main role of a man remains to gather and that of the woman to manage what has been gathered. this model remains the best model for every home who actually likes orderliness.

bukatyne: Like I said in the first post I made on this thread, there is a difference between a mother delibrately working late in the name of building a career and a mother leaving early and getting home late because of logistics.

An average job is 8 - 5 in Nigeria

Logistics now determine when you leave/get home

I agree that parents should make ample time for their kids

Then she can as well look for a job that won't make her return home by 9-10pm, if truly she wants to spend more time with her family, if not, then she's as guilty as the one deliberately working late. (Which woman works late deliberately to be truthful?)

AjanleKoko: I fear it may be a physical problem.
Recall he had a very tight regimen under Pep. Now he's hosting Argentinian barbecues, and drinking cokes at will.
His body may not just be able to fuel the kind of explosion we saw between 2009 and 2012, frankly speaking.

He's not a robot na, he should at least be allowed to function like a human being. Pep used him dry, the wear and tear is now manifesting gradually.

carefreewannabe: I don't stick to fixed roles. I believe in pragmatism, flexibility and personal choice.

I do neither rely on medieval teachings on gender roles nor on the roles people had in the Stone Age.

I support freedom and different ways of running a family.

If a couple chooses to stick to the traditional role of a woman being a housewife and the man the breadwinner, fine with me.

If a couple decides that it is better that the woman goes to work and the man stays at home to take care of the house and the children, fine with me.

If a couple decides to share all responsibilites, fine with me.

I will NOT let ANYONE decide for me what to do with my life based on my gender.

Sorry, i asked for your own idea settings which i am yet to get, can you please be precise? thanks

When you say freedom, freedom to do what? anything in the family as you wish or?

Ajiswaggs: osun state

Okay, start from that link...

Ajiswaggs: helo friends, i would lik to join dis forex trading bt i dnt to knw hw to get started. cn u guys teach me nd guide me on dis

Online: www.babypips.com/school

Oflline: Where are you located?

carefreewannabe: I do but I am curious what it is according to you.

I am waiting for your answer.

What is your idea role for a father and a mother?

What are the major responsibilities for mothers
What are the major responsibilities for fathers?

Maybe people are mixing up your point of view because you haven't been clear with them on what should be "proper" in your view?

Standard007: ya, 3rd in division 1

Eeya lol

Messi, sorry you were alone in that forward line, the rest came to waste your effort.

Standard007: Up Abia Warriors!!!!!

Is that a club?

Barca insert bite clause in Suarez contract.

Barcelona have included a bite clause in Luis Suarez's contract that
would see him lose £3 million should he nibble on another player. The Uruguay international is currently serving a four-month ban for biting Giorgio Chiellini.

Source: Daily Mirror
Sunday, July 13, 2014 00:07

Barca track Vertonghen

Barcelona are keeping tabs on Tottenham defender Jan Vertonghen.
The Spanish club are also keen on a move for Borussia Dortmund’s Mats Hummels.

Source: Mundo Deportivo
Sunday, July 13, 2014 08:32

Everstar

How marketiii?