₦airaland Forum

Islie:
http://www.punchng.com/news/i-conceded-defeat-to-prevent-crisis-jonathan/


Cc lalasticlala

Shame to those who had wanted Nigeria to be in war right now. Gej remains the best.

Islie:
http://www.punchng.com/news/i-conceded-defeat-to-prevent-crisis-jonathan/


Cc lalasticlala

To me. Gej conceded defeat to shame Obama and his evil plans against Nigeria. And also to shame some illiterate politicians in the North. Gej will remain the best Nigeria has ever got after the likes of Zik. . . . :-D

prophetfire:
I for dey look your bre'ast for free by now.

hahahahahahahaha. Funny u. Even with Bra, you can still look it for free.

Julius2214:
It is surely this picture that provoked the invention of bra

you mean there was no Bra then?

watchindelta:
thank God dey no borne me dat time oh ! I 4 dey miss all dis present cup breast by Nah em? me way breast like wiso. let jah b praise.........

you think now is better than then?

customized07:
The women look like men, why?

maybe you need to review the picture again.

[quote author=rightthing276 post=33945400]First of all, I want to start by saying I created this Account, just to remain annonymous for now.

My story

In May 2014, Access Bank started A Project called Project ART. The ART means Account Reactivation Team.

Access Bank recruited DSAs (Via various Out sourcing firms)from All over Nigeria with the job function of Reactivating and opening New Accounts. They made all sorts of promises to us which I would highlight below

The Bank said, We would be paid a basic salary of 40,000Naira. Every other extra earnings would come from incentives. The incentive structure was thus, if you open or reactivate an account and the customer takes an ATM card, you get 100 naira, if a customer subscribes for Mobile Banking, another 100 naira, if they subscribe for internet banking, Another 100 naira. Meaning, a DSA can make as much as 300 naira per account. So if I'm able to sign on like 1000 accounts in a month, I can make as much as 200,000 after gathering and counting my 100 Naira. This was really a good deal

The bank set the monthly target at 200 accounts and said, if you can achieve above 200 accounts, that's an A* (A star) grade for the month, if by 6 months, you get an A* in your appraisal, you will get an ipad and a recommendation letter for being outstanding and if by the end of one year, you get an A*

In your annual appraisal, you will be sent to Access bank training school and converted to a full staff of Access bank.
The MD of Access Bank himself, Herbert Wigwe, came out himself and addressed DSAs, highlighting and affirming all these promises, So we were to be sure that it wasn't another recruitment scam.

Hearing all these good news from the horse's mouth was really a spur and so there and then, a lot of us made up our minds to succeed.

So we started work and a lot of people hit and surpassed the targets, you should have seen the way my colleagues worked hard, opening accounts; I mean ALL kinds: Salary , students, regulars, co-operates etc. Some people even travelled outside Lagos to open accounts and get deals. It was that serious.

NB: The DSAs where placed under the supervision of full staff, each team had 10 DSAs and 3 proffessional staff. The structure was, The DSAs would source for the accounts and tag it to the MIS codes of the full staff, meaning, if I work, it would count for some one else in the bank, so basicaly, the full staff would just sit down and be pressing computer, inside AC,while the DSAs would do the Hustling.

Two months into the job, Access bank reduced the basic salary from 40 to 35,000 naira, giving reasons that it was a deduction for health insurance and till today, we did not sign any papers to that effect. Lots of people couldn't take it and so they resigned, infact, that was when the project started loosing core materials(human Assets).

Some people held on, for the hope ahead. By the 3rd month, lots of people were on A*, they met and surpassed the Target. So Access bank maybe did profit and loss and increased the target to 400 accounts a month.

This was the point where I feared my colleagues. There was this girl, Goodness from VI team, that girl is good! There were others like Otaigbe same VI team, there was Lara, Ikeja team, Mayowa too and there was this other born-again girl like that. I call this one Principality mehn! Her name Esther from Apapa team. I think by the end of the project, she was the over all best, I mean National best. I heard her grade was around 150%. That's like an A superstar. She was a game changer and I admired her secretly.

Meanwhile, the first set of incentives came in the 3rd month which was july, the second set came in September so you can imagine people feeding off on 35k for like two months. By the time the incentive started coming in, it was nothing to write home about: people were getting as low as 3000, 6000, 1500. Someone even got 100 naira as I heard. Customers where not funding the accounts immediately, others didn't want ATM cards.

By October, the 3rd set of incentive was suppose to be out and paid, that was were we got the bulkest of incentives since the beginning of the Project. At least, I saw mine was arround 31k but guess what? It has not been paid even as we speak! Since October 2014.

Not just Access bank. But most banks are takn people for granted this days. You wouldnt blame them though. Since there's no work in the country.

midolian:
This is to further confirm the death of the then ruling party.

Come 2019. You will go to jail

Is there any eye witness to this?

1. You're not my type.

Lol. A guy spends a lot of time to check you out and finally finds time to approach you for wooing, only to suddenly be lectured about compatibility. Okay, there is nothing wrong in just saying, I'm not interested, I have a boyfriend already, i'm born again . . .etc . . must you insult his intelligence by implying that he does not know how to choose people he woos? The worst part is, most girls even say this to guys they like! Why When you say this to a guy, he and his friends will make fun of you for hours . . .
Just stop as you are reading this.

metronaija:
This was made known in a letter he wrote and sent to the Deputy National Chairman, Prince Uche Secondus, Muazu asking him (Secondus) to step in as acting National Chairman in line with the party’s constitution.

http://www.metronaija.com/2015/05/breaking-news-prince-uche-secondus.html

what does PDP need Chairman for again?

lalasticlala:
http://dailypost.ng/2015/05/20/woman-daughter-arraigned-in-court-for-hiding-corpse-in-their-apartment/

things are seriously happening in the West.

[color=#990000][/color]

damiloladuke:
I met this pretty lady on Linkedin, she works as a graduate Assistant at the department of Biological Science, UNIMAID.

IT'S been 6 months now that we've been relating and we both seem to be falling in love with eachother.

I tried inviting her down to Lagos, but she said I have to prove my love for her first by coming to Maiduguiri to see her.

With the security situation over there, Am confused. I love this girl and Am as well concerned about my life.

Am the first child and I don't wanna die now.

Any advice on What I could do?


cc: lalasticlala

damiloladuke:
I met this pretty lady on Linkedin, she works as a graduate Assistant at the department of Biological Science, UNIMAID.

IT'S been 6 months now that we've been relating and we both seem to be falling in love with eachother.

I tried inviting her down to Lagos, but she said I have to prove my love for her first by coming to Maiduguiri to see her.

With the security situation over there, Am confused. I love this girl and Am as well concerned about my life.

Am the first child and I don't wanna die now.

Any advice on What I could do?


cc: lalasticlala

safety to you bro.

falconey:
I will not blame the female folk today until next
time. Guys are going to get the heat for this one.
Here are 8 times men get stupid during S3x and
produce an offspring.


1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’

Oshey, Lord Withdrawal! Didn’t they tell you that
your pre-cum has enough sperm from your last
self-service session to father a child? Oh okay, you pee in-
between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t
honestly tell me that there weren’t a few slip-ups in
all your pull out encounters. You and I know that
the sweetest part is when you offload all your
goods in the right warehouse. So stop applauding
yourself for staining the sheets. And just a little
reminder, someone in the bible days died because
of this type of thing.



2. ‘It’s The Woman’s Responsibility To Handle
Contraception’

This is how so many clueless men have been lied
to. She tells you she’s on the pill or that she’ll pop
some after and you believe and go in without
protection. This same babe will come back a month
later and tell you the pill(s) didn’t work. Dude, never
believe any of that nonsense a woman says before
S3x. Always have yourself locked and loaded.



3. ‘I Tear Open The Condom Package With My
Teeth’

It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes even the
teeth involved during S3x but please, use your
fingers to tear open the condom package. Why? To
avoid poking a hole into the condom, stupid. The
only hole you should be poking should be… never
mind. The wise ones understand what I’m talking
about.



4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Condom During
S3x

Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You start having
S3x then halfway, for whatever reason, you say
‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use a condom’ and then you
put one on. Have you heard of pre-cum? Obviously
not. Google it. Then for those of you who decide
‘this condom thing is killing my vibe’ and decide to
remove it halfway, please go for quality stuff next
time or learn how to wear on a condom correctly or
just get married and stay faithful mbok.



5. ‘We Had S3x During Her Period’
First of all…eww!




Second, don’t deceive yourself.
Women have and can get pregnant during their
periods. Some medical practitioners will not agree
to this but others will. It has been found that some
women ovulate when they are menstruating, so
next time while dipping into the Red Sea, be sure
to use a life jacket. If you go releasing your little
swimmers with no protection, one of them is
bound to swim upstream and catch something
you’re not prepared for.


6. I’ve Had The Condom For Three Years
My dear brother,

I know it’s a quality brand
product and probably cost you a few hundred
naira and you’re saving it for prime V, or just
maybe you haven’t been laid in a long time; but it’s
no reason for you to leave it in your wallet until it
either expires or becomes useless. Use it when it’s
still good or throw it away.


7. ‘I Like My Condom Tight’


And so you push your p*n*s all in to fill the
condom tip. Bros, unless your p*n*s is shaped
exactly like a condom, please desist from
tightening things in there. You have to leave that
space for the spill. If you don’t, the condom will
break. I’m tempted to say it’s not ‘rocket’ science
but erm…



8. ‘We Had S3x While Standing’



First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let me
understand the logic. You did it while standing and
all of the semen spilled to the floor and none was
left in her. Hmmm… In physics, following the law
of gravity, it makes sense. But not in biology,
which may have a law somewhere that states ‘what
goes in, stays in’. You should know that the v*g’i’na
is one place that may not have a door but has a
way of keeping things in. Be Warned!
Basically, just don’t be stupid during S3x. Protect
yourself and your woman. Use a condom.

http://9javibes.com/lifestyle-relationships/8-silly-things-men-do-during-s3x-that-leads-to-pregnancy-adult-only/?utm_source=&utm_medium=facebook

Honestly i'm guity no doubt. Thanks for the tips and correction.

dainformant:
Guess trekking is now the new job in Nigeria. A man who trekked all the way from Taraba state to Maiduguri for 11 days to celebrate the election victory of Governor Kashim Shettima of APC , pictured being turbaned as the 'Trekking king' by the Emir of Gwoza. Aside from the "title", he also reportedly received a cash reward of about N250,000 (N.25 million) from the Deputy governor of Borno state, Alhaji Zannah Umar Mustapha.

Source;http://www.nationalhelm.com/2015/05/photo-man-who-trekked-to-borno-to.html

the N25million is to be shared among all the trekkers. You can start yours today.

onlyme12:
So I heard this young lady was in the crowd over the weekend when M.I performed some of his hit singles and she couldn't help but cry uncontrollably.

The host of the event, Do2tun observed her and made her night by inviting her on stage to meet with MI. MI hugged her as he rendered a special song for her which made even cry the more.

http://www.pijangonews.com/2015/05/awww-see-fan-who-cried-uncontrollable.html

After hearing about trekking for Buhari.

Now is Crying for M.I

my own might be fighting for Nairaland

DaBullIT:
As how nah?

Lemme found out, i will let you know.

tola9ja:
http://saharareporters.com/2015/05/18/pdp-social-media-accounts-hacked-shut-down-until-further-notice

Everyone knows is of no use anymore untill 2050

synergycom19:
GEJ always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time,well better late than never

Wow. So Goodluck now works with EFCC?

iscoli:
http://www.punchng.com/news/efcc-re-arraigns-sylva-for-n2-45bn-fraud/

when are they arresting Amaeche and SLS?

DaBullIT:
[size=14pt]

And some mumu people will attend that meeting

Asari Dokubo is an asswipe , Shinning under Boro's Shadows, If he (Asari Dokubo) loves Niger delta so much and he wants to save them

Why is his university in Bennin Republic ?

Why is his illegal refinery not located in Niger Delta

How many houses or roads has he built for the masses

How many court cases has he been there to defend someone from Niger Dela

It has always been about enriching himself and until Niger Deltans realize that

He'll push them to war , Hide behind the lines , and when shiite hits the fan,

He'll go on Voluntary exile like his predecessors



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you ask too many questions without a reason.

podosci:
Stupidity in its highest level....SMH

you think so or you are just confuse?

I love the outfit. When you can't eat the main food. At least you can't be stoped from viewing it and looking at it too. I enjoyed what i just saw.

Keke man na d next street i d drop biko.

sad story. But since i can't judge let the dead RIP

Lala247:
Which is the most important attribute when approaching a lady.

*Good Looks/Appearance
Some can argue that a handsome man can attract any woman. Do you think your appearance is key when approaching a lady.

*Confidence
People that are sure of themselves can argue that this is key in approaching ladies.

*Money
Dont need to say much. Do rich people find it easy to approach ladies.

*Personality
Are you charming, funny, easy going. Etc Is this key


Pick an attribute you think is key and explain your reason.


*sips tea*

To some Ladies is money.
And to some Ladies is Personalty.

juwoonn:
@about 9:30PM tonight; I was returning from the church along with my wife, she had almost held the snake while about to open the door. Suddenly she sighted the black deadly snake and retreated. The snake had entered d net door and was resting on the door handle near d knocker.

I did the needful.

Last week I killed a green scorpion @my backyard but the thread didn't make front page.
Warning: this is a season of reptiles and its cohorts, pls always hold a torchlight and watch carefully @night

Cc: lalasticlala, ishilove

Is he living in the bush?

Aboki things






i will farm in this empty land after may 29

lalasticlala:
See dance!!


http://thenet.ng/2015/05/photo-first-dance-oshiomhole-and-bride-take-to-the-floor/

I was there sef.

RIP to the dead.

khenykhey:
[img]http://3.bp..com/-9LBlTP0yA58/VVYejQnM_wI/AAAAAAAFPWA/StA-rFoYeOg/s280/CFD0FRLUgAAR8RB.jpg%2Blarge.jpg[/img]

[img]http://2.bp..com/-eOxDb2JoKAs/VVYekPEihPI/AAAAAAAFPWE/hwYdnCE5b2I/s1600/4.jpg[/img]

He just shared the pictures picture on Instagram.. Congratulations to him.

https://instagram.com/p/2tXwvlKUC3/?taken-by=davidoofficial

Na only hand the woman born?

omonnakoda:
Waiting to see husband for Bianca Ojukwu

Lolz. Maybe i will be the right man for her

onojaduru:
President-elect Gen. Buhari,VP-elect Prof. Yemi Osinbajo and his wife were at the wedding of Gov. Adams Oshiomhole of Edo state and his Ethiopian wife today in Edo state.

Checkout their picture with the couple

Source: http://.com/2015/05/buhariyemi-osinbajo-and-wife-with-adams.html

I hope Buhari know is not handover date yet.