₦airaland Forum

@ AKO, good question. And i don't have an answer

Humans by nature find faults with each other and tend to "judge" by rebuking, condemning or chastising each other. Humans also by nature also tend to be defensive when being corrected". Nobody likes to be told off. The above characteristics are present from childhood. When someone corrects, out of love, and who is spiritually more mature, and for the right reasons, that is "constructive judging". The reverse is also true. Judging from a Christan perspective is a delicate matter. As there are "spiritual leaders" entrusted with the growth and progress of the church, they have the right to correct the church. On a more personal level, Christians have a right to also hold each other to account too but for the right reasons.  Some people like to behave like they are superior to everyone else and have a right to reprimand others harshly. Some others too never like to be corrected and feel they can do no wrong, always justifying ttheir actions. Example, some behave like the pharisees looking for "sinners" to expose and "punish", while some also behave like the guy with the one talent who refused to invest to make profit for his master. When accused of being lazy, he became defensive, giving reasons for his actions. My question is when do you draw the line between being "judgemental" and being "too permissive" of others.

Match Fixing. . . .Who knows . Look at the allegations leveled former Bolton Manager Sam Alladyce about bungs in some transfers involving players, agents and some managers. The story broke out through a whistle blower. Match fixing is a more serious issue but you can never say never. This may be true for clubs avoiding relegation.
[quote author=hahaha, link=topic=123314.msg2105778#msg2105778 date=1206876272]Not a chance!!! , if there was any match fixing the ever curious British press would have probably found out by now.[/quote]Don't ALWAYS believe what you read in the papers. The media will only report and portray items they want you to know about. Slightly off topic, recently, Prince Harry went to Afghanistan and the media were aware but never mentioned it due to "security" issues. The story was broken by Australian and American websites, forcing the British media and MOD to confirm the story which eventually led to withdrawing Prince Harry from the frontline. The only presenter that opposed the media "collusion" was Jon Snow. All I am saying is the media is not aways "honest".

tRoOE:


@Imani
There is no reason to make up with, I don't know him so whateva words we exchange here stay there

Alrite then.

double post

joshjosh:
i didn't know it was for nigerians only. in fact i doubt it would be. but as you said our people too carry excess load.
last month one lady nearly started abusing herself because i didn't help carry her load on my baggage allowance. i don't know her from no adam yet she tot it cute to let anyone just check in their luggage in my name. if they discrimate that will be sad but nigerians are special people you know

Hey JoshJosh, you have met such women too . They are unbelievable. People dont realise how dangerous it is to carry that doesnt belong to you or strangers in the name of "helping". I aim to be fair in all my dealings. If the baggage allowance is 32Kg and you pack 50kg, and cant afford to pay for overweight i dont feel sorry for such people. A bit harsh but better than finding myself entangled in a situation i didnt bargain for.

debosky:
Pseudo life? Largely due to unrealistic expectations. And some feel the need to appear better than the 'local' peeps. To get into debt in order to impress some people is not only stupid, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

My sentiments exactly!!!

How have you been? .

[quote author=naija_diva link=topic=123486.msg2104998#msg2104998 date=1206829571]that wouldn't be considered acting fake. i'm not talking about ordinary things. the poster of this thread wants to know why they create a false impression when they visit nigeria and some do. they make it seem like they are living the life when a lot of them are struggling a lot more than their family and friends back home.[/quote]Could it also be because the same family and friends back home place unnecesary expectations on these people, thereby causing some people to show off what they don't have?

I went home 2 years after after a long period of absence. I was surprised to be asked "what did you bring for me from the land of the  queen"? These were extended relatives. I wasnt aware i was to "bring" anything for anybody. It is a different thing when you give people gifts out of freewill, but when it is a burden, then people will try to "keep up with the jones". A lot of the people showing off probably do so on credit cards and then come back and work like animals again to regain financial freedom. It can be a vicious cycle. The moral of the story always do ONLY what you can afford. If someone whats to get angry, that fine.

4Him:
1. Rude and ignorant - Most women equate a show of confidence from men as being rude. From experience, women can be exceptionally rude especially nigerian women who expect you to wipe their feet simply because you find them attractive enough to attempt a chat.

2. Fashion sense - $20 will get a woman at least 10 tank tops, a man can only hope to leave the store with at best one fairly good shirt.

1. The piont raised is also due to prevaling society attitudes towards women in the Nigerian society. For some unknown reason, a lady is not expected to say "yes" when asked out at the first instance so she is not considered "cheap" and sometimes has to show the guy "pepper" before she aggrees. Sometimes, this tactics dont work and a guy that genuinely likes a girl, but cannot take rejection eventually ditches his feelings for her. sometimes, when she realises it is too late. Some of this attitude is also caused by parental attitudes towards dating. I like people who are assertive and know what they want. If you like a guy, say yes, if you dont say no, at the first time of asking. No point saying yes when you men no and vice versa.

2. It is not women's faults that it is difficult to create "styles" for men. . No waist, breasts, hips, backside. . . just a long plank. what can we do eh, ,

Please Omoeko and 4Him, please kiss and make loveup.


Seriously, please don't allow Seun to relocate this thread like he did the "Secret admirer" thread since people went off topic.

Lets ALL stay on point. Thanks

tRoOE:


1. Stingy - Very cheap

2. Stinky - majority of Naija men falls into this category

3. Ugly

4. Rude, ignorant, so full of himself

5. Feet ewwwwwwwwww come on guys medi cure is not that expensive

6. Has no good taste when it comes to fashion lol rainbow color

Going through the above post again, here are my observations

1. Stingy: A guy is NOT mandated to be your provider except when he is the husband. In order words, women don't need to be unnecessarily dependent on a boyfriend. Some women turn the men to money bags. The act of giving money is not what is wrong but the intentions behind the "giving". However, giving little gifts spices up relationships. . . the only problem is some women want more than a guy can afford. The other side of the coin is when a guy witholds monetary gifts in exchange for sex. . .that is "silent" prostitution.

2. Stinky: I have to agree with you. Some men don't seem to understand the necessity of personal hygiene. Simply chewing gum after food freshens the breath but lots of guys just start chatting after a bowl of beans and garri/ other foods that have strong odour and almost suffocate the lady with "bad breath". Some over here don't even bother to wash in the summer. It is disgusting. Some ladies are stinky too, but the proportions are usually smaller compared to the males

3. Ugly: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but gosh some guys are just not "photogenic" rather than use the term "wowocious" That cannot be helped. They didn't make themselves but sometimes, paying attention to personal appearance helps though wont make you handsome overnight. I wont call anyone ugly as that is unkind.

4. Rude, Ignorant: Some men behave this way due to societal acceptance of such behaviour. In most African cultures, "the man is king" and this has been drummed into their skulls since birth. Until they get exposure in another culture and then get to see that being rude is actually offensive rather than what women should endure, then some change for the better, but as the forefathers say, "a leopard cannot change it's spot" so some will never change that type of attitude.

5. Feet: I agree, men are just lazy to do any "work" on themselves in that regard except they are gay. 4Him used the analogy of corns of female feet. That is missing the point. A well pedicured feet can still have corns. If they was some cream to remove it, believe me, they will be a thing of the past.

6. Fashion sense/faux paux : Well, women are more fashion conscious than men, and that is visible from the choices available to them in shops. In terms of style, everyone has a preferred style. Some have it and some don't. That in itself is not a problem. The problem arises when some guys don't know they have to watch their pair of jeans or shirts regularly, or wear shoes that "salute" strangers, more often than not, it is usually just down to poor choices.

4 Play:
@Imani

All that remains is for you to join United.Join Danity(sounds like a pharma coy ) in the greatest club on earth. I don't like seeing ladies suffer in the name of supporting a useless club like Arsenal. It breaks my heart.
One day. . . .it won't be long,I might say something nice about Arsenal.I'm working on it.

How dare you

Anyway, i am not surprised you would like Arsenal ladies to join your club, Since I live in London, i will stick to a London club. Thanks for the offer. Even 4 years in Manchester was not enough to tempt me. Opps i forgot, most Man U fans like yourself live in London while the TRUE mancunian people support Man City

ibkaye:
wha? why is this in forum games? im counfused

That is Seun up to his usual tricks Looks like we have strayed from the topic, i am afraid and so he has decided to "relocate" the thread

tRoOE:
Stingy - Very cheap

Stinky - majority of Naija men falls into this category

Ugly

Rude, ignorant, so full of himself

Feet ewwwwwwwwww come on guys medi cure is not that expensive

Has no good taste when it comes to fashion lol rainbow color

Omoeko, hope you are insulated enough to face the barrage of abuse that may be targeted at you?

pahtahkee:
See ekisses and ehugs here and there.

Tomorrow they will resume with you are an idiot.

Fair weather people!

Pataki, like someone once said, on Nairaland, there are no permanent enemies or friends, just frenemies, depending on when it suits them.

kobe:
My goodness what happened last year. Now I feel like I've been in a cave for years.

Remember my elips are sealed

debosky:
4play you better be careful how you talk to Imani before I get mukina to BAN you

Villa did fall like a pack of cards, they just lay down like a cheap prostitute and got hammered.

4Play, you have heard. Talk to me nicely otherwise BAN

[s]Infact, i am suspecting maybe Villa and Man U may have had a deal for Villa's virtual collapse.[/s]

4 Play:
@Imani

Why don't you be gracious enough to concede that we were sublime,playing with coruscating flair.Why suggest that Villa "fell like a pack of cards"? As if its Villa that lost the game,not Utd winning it.

What is it Arsenal fans and their lack of grace?

Greetings 4Play, unlike you, i am not pretentious . I have come out to say congrats for winning. We also won today. Villa have put up a tough opposition in the past. Of course, United are the form team of the moment, no one can fault that. And if it makes you sleep better tonight, You may just retain the league. Now, you can go off to bed peacefully . An Arsenal fan has been gracious

4Him:
yeah pataki show the picture, i don't think i ever saw it.
Tell him, Imani . . . he's more likely to listen to you.

Are you sure that is a good idea, remember you guys were just 21 and maybe looking "nigerian". Except you can handle it being shown publicly, then Pataki should pobably show you privately.

BTW what binds you together (Arsenal) should be greater than what separates you (aunty give me rice party), no be so?

As much as i hate to say it, congrats to Man U on coming out to win effortlessly. Shame Villa decided to fall like a pack of cards though

4Him:
Imani, she's right . . . egba men can be sexist at times.

Very true . . . i admire quite a lot of people . . . but in terms of specifics, there are 2 females here i can honestly say i like a lot.

Ahh, that explains a lot of things. Thanks for the insight, it is valuable.

Like i told one of them, my elips are sealed and all your secrets are safe with me

almondjoy:
4Him

Honestly, I miss "cybering" with you. . . I know you are from "Egbaland" and a woman must always say sorry first. . . .okay

Sorry for all the aggravation I have caused you.  Please forgive and forget for the 20th time.  Please don't be mad.

I want to use this opportunity to say I admire you because you are royal pain in the neck!

Egbaland? . 4Him come and defend your people against this allegations please.

Almondbaby, did you actually mean to say neck or A*** .

4Him:
awwwww this is so so touching.
I honestly don't take the things you say seriously . . . i have a fair bit of confidence in myself so insults to me are like water off a ducks back.
Spent a bit of the morning laughing over the things u had to say on the insomniacs thread.

Hey, soon as i leave a thread its all forgotten as far as i'm concerned . . . but plenty of kudos and admiration for that fact that u're always humble enough to say sorry. Accept my own profound apologies too for being a "royal pain in the neck" . . . i wont deny i have enjoyed being so.
Thing i like most about u is hate it, like it you never hide your true feelings about issues or a person. Thumbs up!!

That thread was hilarious, except you are on the receiving end . Sometimes i read all the fights and i have to hand it to almondjoy and just laugh out loud.

almondjoy:
Oh yes oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Infact his case was so baaaaaaaaaaaaad. . . .he never recovered from the heartbreak!

I think i am in the "tabliod news" mood now . I think we should start a thread about experiences with other Nairalanders without mentioning names of course, and to serve as a warning to others. Some bombshells are bound to be dropped. On the other hand i guess everyone deserves their privacy.

4Him:
most of the decent ones worth some pursuing post rarely . . . you have to be extra vigilant to catch them.

Is this to imply those who post regularly may not be worth pursuing?, hmmm men. . . . , what won't you hear!!

kobe:
No, you misunderstand. I was involved in nothing short of "cyber posting". Love online comes as easy to me as it does to you. To find love online would be equitable to finding that needle in a haystack.

Thanks for clearing that up . I refuse to attach my e-self emotionally to anybody

kobe:
This is subjective. I agree that refusal to date someone over religious differences in this day and age seems ignorant - unless of course both parties are deeply-rooted religionists who can't conjure up the idea of being involved with someone who treads a different path.

I guess the more important question here is: how will the difference in religion affect the relationship.
If they try it out and it has a noticeable negative impact on their relationship, then it would be best to digress from contuing the relationship.

I am not sure some nairalanders will understand all you have just said.

kobe:
Uh oh my ex platonic e-lover got busted.

You too were involved in cyber loving? Would have thought you were too "posh" for that. But hey whatever rocks your boat. There are quite a few decent lads/ladetteladies on Nairaland but sometimes finding them is like looking for a needle in a haystack

What a revelation galore on this thread. So 4Him and Pataki go way back. Interesting, i have to say .

Pataki dear, can you upload that 21st party pic. . Hmmm maybe not a good idea, though the thought of it is funny

almondjoy:
As for the little almond. . . we are yet to determine how
People are already complaining I average like 500posts a day.  If I list you guys individually. . .juju will start flying all over Nairaland!  Not even taking into account that I have had like 20 other names with nothing less than 1500posts each so by ma higher math, I would have got like 156,000 posts enough to represent all bonafide Nairaland members and all their aliases!

Look who is talking about aliases You are the queen of aliases. From Militia/Militiana/Bebeelove/Afrodixie/Freakazoid etc, and usually talking from both sides of the mouth and gender. Men last year was fun. Almondjoy seems to be your longest alias, Keep it up and try not to get banned often

morenike09:
I admire him. No names. Want to protect my privacy

Dont worry dear. I will tell no one. My e-lips are sealed

almondjoy:
I think your list is incomplete!

Please make you go revise am oooooooooooooooooooooh!

Hmmm Almondlady,

Are you looking for trouble OR is trouble looking for you

AlmondJoy, what happened to you? I never knew you 've got some lufflove for Nairalanders with your long list of admirers. Good on you.

With regards to "circumstances beyond your control" is another little almond on the way

and BTW way, i admire your sincerity and not conforming to the popular opinions or "groupthink" that has plagued African societies whereby we can't think for ourselves and just accept what we are told. I tend to question everything around me before forming my own INDEPENDENT opinion.

Lastly, i am not a groupie,  . . .thanks for listing but next time i am on my own baby. . .  

[quote author=tj_tj link=topic=123222.msg2104467#msg2104467 date=1206816321]well crazy kid, listen to this. i fell in love wit my girlfriend before i found out she was a great one nd am christian. well things re movin smoothly for us nd her mom is accepting it slowly. its just a mtter of time before we all marry other religions[/quote]No one says not to marry from other religions. I will support it only if there is an understanding and both parties are matured enough to handle the pressures that come with such an arrangement. The thing is you may not mind her practising her religion as the man, the question most people tend to ask is why is this not sometimes the case when the roles are reserved, that is when the man is a great one?

Refusing to date someone merely because of religion is what i fail to understand. You may eventually change to her religion or vice versa if the need arises, is this something you can do?

texazzpete:
Anyone else see the irony in this?

Texazzpete abeg don't start. . As a fellow gunner, she is pardoned

@Grimez, erm we lost to Chelsea last week,  just refreshing your memory

debosky:
Cassiel

enjoy your lead, you deserve it! Blackburn is my main hope of nicking points off the scum, that is after ourselves and Chelski hopefully beat them

If that does not materialise, then the league is surely going to OT this year.

I dont mind Man U winning the league. At the end of the day, the best team over the entire season ALWAYS wins the league. We only have ourselves to blame. We faltered at the most crucial stage of our campaign. Once United overtook us, it was always going to be an uphill task. We can only hope Chelski shows the same grit and determination to win when they play Man U. Cant have any hopes on Totenham helping us, they are useless

Pataki and 4play, please cut out the personal insults. . You guys are too much for that.