₦airaland Forum

Except u guys r expecting to be spoon fed, use the link i provided.
thats how i got pass4sure v 2.73 which is the latest.
the link again is


http://www.mandeibem.com.br/v2006/downchave.asp?cod=200611289282134218

I think evry1 should read this and draw his/her own conclusion.



http://www.saharareporters.com/dn001.php?dnid=250



blow yourself away.

the file is quite large.
i'll send u guys a link of where u can down load it.
just found out yahoo only allows attachments 10mb or less,




http://www.mandeibem.com.br/v2006/downchave.asp?cod=200611289282134218

Brian invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep
noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and
Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" [/b]Brian said, [b]"Well, I
doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure". So he sat down and wrote:

"Dear Mom: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from
the house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, Brian".

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read:

"Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie; I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie.
But the fact remains that if Stephanie is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mom."

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

I HAVE THE LATEST PASS4SURE V2.73
EMAIL ME AT imomoh24@yahoo.com.

Jeff na wa oh u no tell me say u be nairalander.
well its all good take care

[center]Officials of Iraq have claimed that Saddam Hussein hasn't been killed and is still alive by showing the leader giving an interview which was said to be live,

He said "To prove I am still alive, Liverpool were total f**ked on Saturday and Tuesday."

The British Government said, "That could have been recorded months ago."[/center]

[center]Officials of Iraq have claimed that Saddam Hussein hasn't been killed and is still alive by showing the leader giving an interview which was said to be live,

He said "To prove I am still alive, Liverpool were total f**ked on Saturday and Tuesday."

The British Government said, "That could have been recorded months ago."[/center]

where can i get a good book on CCNA for beginners and how much do
they cost?

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly
irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how
horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could
have been worse."
To cure him of his annoying habit, his
friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so
terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said,
"Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife
in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the
gun on himself!"


"That`s awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse."



"How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it
have been worse?"


"Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I`d
be dead now!"

This lady goes into a tattoo parlor and asks the guy to put a tattoo of a
turkey on her upper right thigh. She goes back to the same tattoo parlor
two weeks later and asks him to tattoo a picture of a Christmas tree on
her upper left thigh.

Stumped, the guy finally decides to ask her why she wants these tattoos.

She said, "I'm tired of my husband complaining every year that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?"

Little Johnny:- "None Miss".

Teacher:- "Could you tell me why?"

Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away".

Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking."

Little Johnny:- "Miss, while we're asking questions, could I ask you one?"

Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"

Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?"

Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err, I suppose it was the last one."

Little Johnny:- "Well I'd have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking."

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:

"Da-ad, " "What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
"Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad, "
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY, Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
"Five minutes later,
"Daaaa-aaaad, "
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

@globalaid
gee thanks

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."

[b]

[center]A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:[/center]

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body", he did not say, "Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God". and finally,

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St.Peter's, not a peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy's. [/b]

[center]In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in Nigeria, The president narrowed the field to three finalists:
the SSS, the Army, and the Nigerian Police force.
The three contenders were given the task of catching
a rabbit which was released into the forest.

The SSS went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist

The Army went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.

The Nigerian police went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling, " Okay, Okay, I agree, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"[/center]

Reprieve came the way of embattled Vice President Atiku Abubakar from the legal front of his protracted fight with his bosses attempt to disqualify him from running for the 2007 Presidential polls when two separate courts ruled in his favour today.

In one of the ruling yesterday, Justice Abimbola Ogie dismissed a preliminary objection by the government to the Vice President’s suite. The government had in its objection to Atiku’s prayer seeking to void his indictment asked the Court to dismiss the suite for lack of merit. However, Justice Ogie sided with the Vice President by dismissing government objection to the trial.

In the other case, Justice Anwuri Chikere heeded the Vice President’s request to hear the suite challenging the powers of the Code of Conduct Tribunal to try him.

Two agents of the Federal Government- the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and Administrative Panel of Inquiry headed by the Federal Attorney General and Justice Minister, Chief Bayo Ojo (SAN) had submitted separate reports indicting him over abuse of office and financial impropriety.


vist:
http://www.thetimesofnigeria.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1375&Itemid=81&PHPSESSID=e1f16924491a5c766bfef4e017

John Legend(Once again album)
-Show me

[b]
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" [/b]

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and told me how much she adored me."


"Ah, last night," the Italian said, "I made love to my wife six times, and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once!?" the Italian arrogantly snorted while the Frenchman laughed. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"She said, 'I guess we had better stop -- it's time to get up.'"

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife:

You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter that I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I will be home before midnight.

When he arrived at the hotel, there a fax was waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you read this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, my love, do not wait up!

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in
her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even
managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host
could ask her the big question.

Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove
them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are! You
know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.
"Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK."

Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started
heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to
run. I should be back soon."

After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked
grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" "What is it?" she
cried excitedly.

"OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the
answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " The couple went to sleep with Jane,
now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber.

At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the
quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily
before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as
Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.

So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she
knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began running
and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane
and asked the big question.

"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10
seconds."

"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. " Six seconds." "Eh, uh, the
heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it
into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning, "

"That's close enough!" said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!"