₦airaland Forum

So I called the malam and yabbed the guy

If you no get work, call am make him dey busy

And don't forget to enlighten those around you

Looks like iyaebe or pocahontas finally got married

Thrycimacus:
Hello guys I'm in need of a solution. I started dating my babe since last year, and we plan on getting married this year.

Believe me, I'm completely in love with her. Since I met this girl, it's as though every other girl isn't worth my time. I would say that we love ourselves to the best of my knowledge.

I didn't ever believe that my babe was a cheat, so I don't suspect her, neither do I read her text messages , nor even ask who called her and all that.

Something stupid happened today though. I checked my babes whatsapp chat out of curiosity without her permission (please guys forgive me for that). She was working on a project beside me while I was reading her chat.

I noticed she wasnt comfortable as I told her I only wanted to preview her whatsapp stickers. As I spent more time with her phone, she became so worried that she had to get her phone, asking what I was doing with her phone.

I told her I was reading her chat, then she got real angry, that I shouldn't have read her messages. There are contents there she doesnt want me to see.

Pretending as though I havent seen anything yet, I asked her , which content? Then she was already angry and collected her phone.

I tried getting g her phone but to no avail. Then I sat her down. Babe tell me, are you a lesbian ? She vehemently denied, asking why I will even ask her such question. Then I told her about her chat with one girl. She was trying to defend her self that the chat doesnt mean anything. The said chat was actually lesbian related.

I asked my babe, is the girl you were chatting with a lesbian, she said yes. I said fine, give me your phone let me continue reading then if you have nothing to hide from me. She refused.

I told her that her refusal only means 1 thing, and that can threaten our very relationship...

To cut the low g story short, at some point, she began to cry. I told her I knew she was a lesbian from that chat, I only wanted her to tell me with her mouth. She didnt directly admit it though, but she said that she was working on fixing her problem.

Admit it baby, so I know if its something I can fix with you, babe said she will tell me everything tomorrow, that she can't get herself to discuss anything with me today. With this, I had to understand and let her go. Hopefully tomorrow she can confide in me finally about her (I suppose) lesbian affairs.

Honestly I love this babe. Up until today, i have always believed that she loves me too. But this revelation is really threatening to destroy my future with her.

Before she left today , after I must have given her my word that telling me all her dark truth will not stop me from loving her, she said I was saying those just so she can open up. That if I leave her or change my behaviour towards her when she tell me what shes been hiding, it will not be good.

Please guys, how do I face this serious problem now in a mature way ?

Please I'm not here to play, I need mature contributions.

I created a new account for privacy sake

You should actually be happy.

It means when you marry her she'll be sharing her babes with you

Olaoluwa112:
How much will it cost to start this kind farming and how long will it take?

How do you Market it?

I need these answers too

I'm in the process of acquiring a plot of land and I want to use it for snail farming.

I don't even mind paying for consultation

Nigerialabalaba:
Hahaha..with all dos bleaching cream, artificial hair, fake eye lashes, fake nail ,pancake, lipsticks, etc yet u still dey pretend say u no see am, walahi , u fit lie for Africa aswear2gud.

I like her o, as a strong widow, she try but she don old and she no get work, period. She used her prime to dey chase or allow old men chase her so tey at 50 she don quick old and still no get job despite on top plenty money her papa,late Chief Onoh, take send her go school for 9ja and Uk . Chief onoh go dey regret and turn for hin grave how her daughter don turn. abi u go fit compare her to Helen Prest-Ajayi? if u win beauty contest, e no mean u go turn to ashewo.

dis go teach dos oloshos wey dey form celebrities today wey tink say dem go fine for ever, na so dem too go old like bianca. go learn beta work, ashewo no be work o.

Go see d likes of Kate Henshaw if u dey look for old, pretty wey con get work for hand, no be dem wey be ashewo at 50 like Bianca, according to Ebere obiano. If she get work, ebere no go dey call her ashewo. nobody go fit call Kate Henshaw or Helen Prest-Ajayi ashewo even as dem two no get husband and dem be over 50 years.

I like dem beauty and brains not beauty, brawn and zero brain. tufiakwa!

You are so on point bro

Nigerians like celebrating nonsense

Tallesty1:
Why will I want to see more pictures of a dead asthmatic patient?



Bia enyia, warn yourself.

Na that werey work be that

Why did you stop adding the prices?

Na wetin dey ginger some of us

BareFacedLies:
How will someone give her doggy style sef?

From the back

AnonyUser:
I know this is not the right section for this but I need a wider view.

My neighbor just gave birth. I want to go greet them but I'm short of what to say. I don't wanna go there and be looking like a fool.

I don't know how to start the conversation.

What do I say when I get there?

I don't know how something so simple could be also very difficult to do .

Just say, "this baby looks a lot like our landlord"

Kobojunkiee:
Not according to the Law.

According to the law she committed murder. Many JW religiotards have ended up in jail for such stupidity.

illicit:
Explore

Is ur pussi that deep and wide as the grand canyon

Make explorers help us create thread ontop the kpekus

TheGidRedpiller:
She is sick, to the point of stooling blood, this is actually true.
That biittch thinks she isn't enough curse to me than whatever she thinks is standing by at the middle of the night waiting to manifest her all powerful curse

I know she is sick, i know, but i also know when she is trying to manipulate her ways into things with the attention she gathers from her illness situation. She asked for financial help, i swear i wanted to help her too, but i just couldn't, did she deserve it or not

If you followed me from scratch, you would know that this is the same wh0re of a mother that would fvvck another men in her matrimonial home after the death of her husband, this is the same selfish biittch that would put herself first before the interest of any of her children, she literally made my sister cry over her education, but my sister watched her change wardrobe every week!

I know i'm being very mean & vengeful, i need people to help me snap out of it because I JUST WANT TO PUNISH HER!!

Still Typing...

Just keep on punishing her. She deserves it

bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here

Fool

Abujaexpress:
I would done that, if was ethical and practiceable

Be the first to start and others will follow your lead

Abujaexpress:
I was really baffled by what my heavily pregnant goat did yesterday.

Actually, we have been keeping the goat and she put to bed early last year, a he goat or kid which has grown since them. We use to keep and confine both of them indoors untill the goat and it's kid started showing the crave to step out and hustle to feed and play/mingle with thier likes. We started letting them out in the morning and by evening time, both will come back home and even if they meet the gate locked, they will be using thier limbs and heads to scratch on the gate as notice to us, until the gate is opened for them.

But gradually, they will go out and not come back home, untill after maybe several days, before you will see them. From days of remaining outside, it turned to weeks, while we were always keeping close watch on their whereabouts. Infact, the day I went out searching for them, immediately the she goat sighted me, she ran to me and followed me home while the kid later came back home to join the mother.

What actually shocked me yesterday was that, for over three weeks, the goats have been away from the house, but surprisingly on Wednesday morning, the pregnant goat came home, this time around in the morning, scratching her head and limbs seriously for the gate to be opened for her. Since it is unusual seeing the goat in the morning and because we were going out for work, my wife wanted to send it back to the fields, but the goat refused to go, instead it entered the compound.

We left for work and coming back home in the evening, lo and behold, the goat had given birth to two bouncing kids, hale and healthy. This really baffled me that a goat could know that she was in labour and she had the sense to come back to the house to give birth!!!

Honestly, when I got home, I have to clap for the goat. She gave me reasons to believe that goats, if properly cared for and tendered, can really act reasonably like human.

N.B. I will upload the picture of the goat and the kids later, when I get back home.

Na to send the kids go school remain

ElonEmpire:
GoodMorning all ,

I will make this as short as possible.
Before marrying my wife she seems to be this very generous and accommodating fellow . I felt fall in Love with her because this is just the kind of partner I want,

I have not really stand very well financially, though comfortable and contented, but I have this great dream of, because of what I pass through to help as much people as I can.
While dating her, she told me all kinds of stories of her philanthropic and generous gestures to people.

But moving forward to today, she seems to be direct opposite of everything.
She detests people coming close or we offering any kind of help or assistance to family both hers and mine not to talk of friends.

What about suggesting to assist a relative that can't afford, with their child education na war
We have not born but I have more than enough space to bring one or two children to see them through school but my wife is not buying is at all at all.

I know who I am before I marry, this is the only thing that gives me joy, and my only reason for asking God everyday to bless me so that I can bless people.

But right now am seriously confused
it hurts me alot but I don't wanna force anything against her will.

I have tried discussing it over and over with her but she is still not buying it, with the excuse of that we have not stand enough to carry anybody .

What could be her reasons and
What should I do?

Since she is also against giving to her own family then she is doing that to save your resources.

You are a dreamer and she is obviously more realistic.

Why do you want to help other people when you are not financially stable yourself.

Save your money and invest in yourself and your wife.

Start a business for yourself and her. Save money and buy land and own your own property. Invest and save towards your children's upkeep.

Focus on yourself.

I'm with your wife on this one. Sit her down and listen to her reasons.

Be open minded

It's mid night and heavy rains and I hear the sound of glass breaking and my car horn....

Picked up my phone touch and a stick, ran straight to my dad's room to get the main door key, opened his room door; and boom.....I saw @$@$$#@$$2@#$_@.

The really annoying thing is that I froze for like 3 seconds with touchlight in hands (wasn't with my glasses so really didn't see well) until my mum screamed at me to get out.......I feel so embarrassed and how do I get that image off my head......

It's my bad habit of not knocking before entering that put me in this situation but you can't blame me......am in my 20s and have never seen my Nigerian parents intimate with each other plus I was raised in a semi Deeper Life family so am sure you understand how shocked and embarrassed am currently feeling.

Just had to share this anonymously on Nairaland probably to get it off my chest......

So which position were they in?

Doggy, missionary, wheelbarrow, reverse cowboy or 69?



So all these years you thought the lord gave you to your parents?

okomile:
The person should pay their money nah.

He thinks it it national cake, if this us the language debtors understand, so let it be.

They will freeze the debtors accounts linked with his/her BVN

Mtchew

Did you notice they said they will place a picture of me as well

Healfastijn:
Doctors are doing their works but they are not the creator, God has the final say. Even if you have 5 days to live, please give your life to Christ. I don't want to miss that place for anything. I'm living my life now as if I'll die tommorow, and if I die, I'll go and rest from all troubles and pains

Do you have any pictures of any of your family members who are dead and are in heaven?

See what FastMoney sent me this morning

dfrost:
Explorers!!!!!

Kubwa we are managing is what they are turning to big boys area now. Finally poor man no get levels for Nigeria.

Poor men no get levels anywhere bro

This is what I'm talking about

oluseyiforjesus:
Dat first picture is it real or painting

As Real as Tinubu becoming our next president

Nigerians don't know how to respect people's privacy

donholy28:
lol you'll just enter every post and type nonsense. Putin is not doing it to dominate the world, he's doing it to protect Russia from US. How can Ukraine want to join NATO that is a sworn enemy of Russia? Tomorrow now US will deploy troops to Ukraine under disguise of them being a fellow NATO ally and from there mount attacks against Russia. If Russia should form alliance with Mexico trust me US will do worse against the Mexicans. The West is not to be trusted and it will be foolish of Russia to allow them have a base in their own backyard.

And you believe that dunce understands what you've written

Goodvibes8:
My girlfriend is a Banker at GTB (not a contract staff). I just love her unconditionally. I thought she was different from other ladies. My girlfriend is cheating on me with an elderly ugly man.

She switched off her phone for 2 days, since on Tuesday. The first day I noticed, I was scared for her safety because she don't behave like that.

I called her very close friend and she said she haven't heard from her too but I shouldn't worry that she's fine.

Then I knew something was fishy. I live in Ogun state, so I went to Lagos early this morning as at 4:45am hoping to see her at home before she go to work.

When I got to her house, I saw her neighbor (she haven't seen me before else she would have lied to me as well) so I asked after my girlfriend and she said she has not been around since on Sunday.

In my mind, I was like since Sunday? Well, I know since last week, she has been acting strange. I noticed she's always quick to discharge me whenever we're on call.

I just went straight to her office at ikeja. I met with a security man and i asked if miss Lydia (not her real name) has come to office this morning? He said no but she will soon come afterall work starts by 8am and it's just 7am.

I just sat inside my car looking angry and curious. As at 7:25am, a car dropped her. I came down from my car immediately to approach her.

I was like so this is the ugly slowpoke you have been staying with since on Sunday that made you switched off your phone abi? She even have guts to ask what am I doing in Lag?

This is a girl I have never cheated on her before. Despite I am good looking, dark and tall with a good physique.

I don't know what to do. I'm heart broken . She hasn't even call me till now. This is a girl I have sacrificed a lot for.

Just keep fvcking her till you find someone else

yuping:
I'm out of words to express how I feel? But the question is why nice people are victim still baffles me.

Nice people are easier to bully

Righteousness2:
In like manner, we are warning all day and Night that these are the Biblical wars and rumors of war and we are in the Biblical End of days.

Everything is happening just as the Holy Bible says.

We are admonishing and Warning all to Repent, Surrender to JESUS Christ and be Prepared! JESUS is Coming!!

Will you spit or swallow?

So Jesus didn't have table manners?

They kept it real

No one is a saint or clean as far as Nigeria is concerned.”

Nigeria's greatest problem

Iamdbull:
Dbull on this one!!!


Man concerts can be crazy at times remember a concert I did 017 man fans were just grabbing

Then you woke up