₦airaland Forum

vicardino:
The world ain't habitable cos of our difference in perspective but because we still find a common ground in spite of our differences. But you know what, i'm gonna give it to u, u kinda surprised me with your response. I was expecting an insult of the highest order, u know (girls thingy, especially Nigerian girls on a forum like this). You have won me over, ireneblush. How's your sister's wedding coming up? Thanks for being real.

Thanks too. her wedding is on the 18th, it's coming up very well.

vicardino:
And u look clean ba? If she ain't appealing and presentable, she probably wouldn't have been married. Wish I knew your definition of "being clean".

Thank God you don't know my definition of being clean. we are different persons with different perspective of life that's why this world is habitable.

proudafrogal:
madam clean show the me dirt on her dress. how is she looking dirty? do you even know the meaning of dirty?

Madam bully it's my opinion. this Is an open forum. Did you have to quote me?

ElsonMorali:
Stick.

hahaha thanks uncle

she's beautiful but looks dirty. dirtiness is not Godly. it's not all about heavy cosmetics, but being clean, appealing and presentable.

lol, very funny indeed. there are men who are very poor in pocket and still cheat, and there are also men who are flity rich but stick to one woman. it all depends on individual difference and the level of one's discipline and moral standards. Not all men cheat. Fake stories on internet especially instagram has made many women go bunkers!!! Some will just be detective ontop of their husbands lives.

my people call it ngbawa ishi. the baby's skull hasn't developed fully well before delivery. what they applied on the baby's head is "ude aki= meaning palm Carnel oil, mixed with onions and cent leaf. then the nzu which is white chalk is to prevent cold and convulsions because her skull is not yet strong, you will find out that the uppermost part of her skull goes in and out just like her breathing. And what she drank that changed her tongue colour which of course will clear just like blood tonic is bitter leaf water and cent leaf water. I have seen my nieces and nephews get healed same way over a little period of time. But your friend can still go to the hospital, but he should also understand that his mother-in-law knows better because she has repeatedly done it over time.

Chiquitq:
Your own duty is not to go there again. If he is responsible in all other areas, let it be for now. You might hav been dreaming. It might hav been d security man and not ur BIL. U dnt hav enough evidence to open d pandoras box. Confide in ur mom if u are sure u were not dreaming.

Jeez! you didn't have to insult me. you are actually implying that I have a medical condition of hallucination. And please next time critically read to comprehend a write-up and not just to comment. Anyways peace.

Tallesty1:
Most of you are heartless, wicked, rude, arrogant and overly pompous.

You will see people crying out in pain, moaning and groaning, some will be dying but some damned nurses won't do a thing until they round up their gossip then they will start walking around in their small black shoes like they don't have toes.

i have never seen people more wicked than nurses. My Late friend of blessed memories was killed by a nurse through her negligence and inaction.

The man obviously needs a mental evaluation! "the dada instead of daddy" cracked me up. All kids say that because the consonant is easier to pronounce. My advice to your aunt is to stay away from him for now, he might probably kill her during the next beating, life is just one, no spare.

salsera:
Ireneblush
Go to all your posts, you will see a tab that says modify. Click it. Then delete what er you want and leave one letter e.g 'd' . Do that for all your posts. But posts that other people have quoted will still show.
Alternatively you can just deactivate that way no connection to your username.
Also you can ask a Mod to close the thread to comments. That way no further posts, Moderators can also remove posts if you let them know why..

All right thanks

salsera:
ireneblush

Glad this worked out, you did right
To close this chapter I'd say delete your posts and ask mods to close this thread.
You wouldn't want others aside your nuclear family seeing this.

how can I delete my post? is it possible on Nl?

Hello people,just this evening I finally told my parents and my sister of the incident that occurred with my would be brother in law. Everyone was around so I decided to free my mind. At first my sister laughed and said I should stop talking.that April fool is past,but when they saw that I was serious, mom started crying,saying that I want to scatter my sister's wedding,that why do I hate men. Dad told me that am lying,they where all furious like am mad. So I called my brother in law to be,i put the call on speaker and asked him why he wanted to rape me. He went ahead saying stuffs like "am sorry, it was the devil,please forgive me" Everyone was surprised. well my parents told my sister that the ball is in her court, that they will support her in any decision she takes. I feel a burden lifted, but then again I feel so bad because I actually think my sister is expecting.

MMotimo:
Because she is hypertensive, the issue has to be handled even more delicately but all the more reason why she needs to know because it would be worse for her to find out after the wedding. Most people with well managed high blood pressure (on regular, effective medication) will not drop dead because of bad news. I'm not sure how bad her blood pressure is and since I expect you both to be young ladies, I will presume that her BP is well managed. My comments below are based on that presumption. If it is not well managed, then I would recommend, against my better judgment, that you inform your parents.

When delivering bad news, I try to set the expectation, eg " Something really bad happened. I have to tell you because you are my sister, I love you, and if the tables were turned, I would expect you to do the same." Most people automatically think the worst so the actual news is not as earth shattering as it would ordinarily sound.

Narrate the incident to her and immediately make it clear that you will support whatever decision she decides on - leave or stay. It is very important to make sure she understands this is all about her, not about you. Your informing her is not to exact revenge on the guy. You are telling her because she deserves to know and because you would expect the same from her if the tables were turned.

You should emphasize that you are not asking her to stay or leave, that is her decision alone. It cannot be a shared burden because you will still go on to live your own life. Let it not be that if she leaves, God forbid, 10 years down the road, there would be bitterness because "you chased away her fiance and here you are, enjoying your own husband and kids" That is why it's so important she takes responsibility for whatever she decides because she cannot come back and lay it on you in the future.

Bottomline is women marry cheating men everyday, he's not the first and he won't be the last. She may weigh the pros and cons and decide to go ahead with the wedding - that is her perogative and you'll have to respect her decision while managing your own relationship with the guy. The important thing is you did the right thing.

From your account, the guy was pretty decent. Maybe he was intoxicated, desperate, just demonstrating bad judgement. . . . and maybe not. Frankly, I don't think any excuse is good enough you probably agree with me but it's still not your place to decide what happens now. If she decides to keep him, let her know she can trust you not to tell another soul, respect her privacy and dignity. That way, she's not wondering who else knows and that is not playing into her decision. Because of the 7 year old relationship in the past, she might be more accommodating of this behavior, be prepared for that.

If, after everything you tell her, she insists on getting your advice on what to do; do some serious soul searching and tell her what you would do if you were her in every sense (health, age, prospects, set wedding date, past relationships, looks, etc).

Lastly, have no guilt about this situation. It is not your fault the guy forgot his commitment and behaved like a billy goat, the hypertension is not your fault, the 7 year relationship is not your fault, expecting decent behavior from an inlaw-to-be is not unreasonable. You are only playing the hand you have been dealt. For the kind of relationship you have with your sister, you owe it to her to at least notify her.

Thank you.

Mznaett:
@Op

Amongst the advises given here which have you taken so far?

i have been crying like am stupid. My SIS is hypertensive,she has had a relationship of 7years crash two months to the wedding. I just don't want to be the carrier of bad news. just last week my elder brother asked me if am a lesbian. I just want to remove my mind.

MMotimo:
If you're debating telling your sister then the question is "what is your relationship with her like? What kind of person is she? Is she rational?" Would she think you seduced her fiance? Would she believe you are lying?

This story is like the movies, I expect a man like this would make the househelp his bedmate too. What if he brings your sister HIV through his wandering? Could you live with yourself afterwards? Or does your sister already suspect/know he's a philanderer and you just don't want to be the one to confirm it Or does your sister just want him as a sperm donor she can kick out later if she finds out he's cheating? In which case maybe it makes no difference whether you tell her or not at this point?

Assuming you and your sis have a normal, loving relationship and her plan is to live happily ever after in holy matrimony, the right thing to do is to tell the owner of the matter - your sister and no one else, not even your parents. If she is old enough to pursue marriage, I daresay she is old enough to decide what to do. Whether she leaves or stays should be her decision, not yours and not your parents. What if you tell them and they convince her to stay against her better judgement because the guy comes to feign repentance and they want to avoid the "disgrace" of a cancelled wedding date? What if you don't tell, the guy goes to tell her you tried to seduce him or what if he keeps trying to sleep with you even after the wedding?

I have a very good relationship with my sister, we discuss so many things freely, she's 3years older than me. please can you tell me how to start the conversation if you are in my shoes. just tell me how I will explain it to her. Note she's hypertensive. am waiting to hear from you, I need to free my mind.

Aquariann:
With students done with exams and most at home and on a typical Thursday, which kind traffic make you "Branch" your would be in-law crib?

See as all of una take this unserious character serious.

Don't ask me how I know Sha...

**Walks out singing Helium by Sia**

Get a life! sad soul. I hope you taste what being in a helpless situation feels like.

byvan03:
I advise you speak to your father about this, let his not believing be his problem not yours.

Thank you

byvan03:
Those asking why she didn't shout, I doubt if you have ever found yourself in a dumbfounding situation before. Shouting is actually the last impulse that comes to someone that is stunned. Not every body shouts at the doff of a hat as the brain is yet to process and accept the reality of the situation before them.

even up till now it's still like a dream to me. the wedding is on 18th

twosquare:
Is that you on your dp? Hmnn..who go see omo pupa rodorodo like you and devil no go enter im mind .... I find it hard to believe this isn't some cooked-up movie script like Femi Adebayo and his wife's younger sister...jokes apart...but that's serious o...you need to tell your dad and no one else, not your mum oo....he knows what to do....if your sister's marriage turns out to be worse and the guy brings out his monstrous side, you will be blamed by your conscience forever.

its real, not cooked up. dad won't even believe me, like he trusts this guy so much that he gets him involved in his private business.

Benita27:
This is a clear case of one without self control. I guess he'll be sleeping with your sister's helpers if she gets one after marriage.

At the interim, you can't tell your sis 'cause there's a possibility that she won't believe you, and she might as well feel you came to destroy the beautiful thing she has going on with this her fiancé. You should stop going to sleep there for any reason.

exactly! my parents won't even believe me. my sister has gone through so many heartbreaks in regards to man and woman relationship. we have never heard her complain about her husband to be. I feel if I tell her my relationship with her will go bad.

eyinjuege:
Which kin wahala be this?

You owe it to your sister to let her know the kind of man she is getting married to. The problem isn't just that he's unfaithful, but to try it on his SIL?
Habaaaaa...
That means if the opportunity presents itself, he will chop your mother join.
Infact, you need to let your parents know what went down so they can be better prepared to handle the disaster waiting to happen in their daughter's future home.
The decision still lies with your sister whether to go on or not, but let her be prepared and be ready to face whatever comes out of marrying a he goat, with no boundaries. Such people see no big deal in sleeping with cousins, and definitely have no regard for their wife's family.

If she decides to carry on, then she went into the marriage informed.

Of course, I expect every respect you have for the 'insect eyes' to go down the drain.
If your sister decides to go ahead, I don't expect you to be a visitor in their home, and neither do I expect you to be alone with him in his car, office or wherever.
That nice cordial relationship that should have been between you as brother and sister is gone..

i have never experienced this kind of thing before. he was acting like nothing happened, when I was about to leave this morning he gave my sister 10k to give me for fuel of which I rejected. he has dirty mind. I wonder how my SIS will take this, she's such a nice and calm person for this problem.

Good day all. am in great shock, am so speechless and angry. My elder sister is getting married to her long time sweetheart in two weeks to come. My would be in-law have being the nicest of Men. My dad and mom loves him so much to a fault, I see him as a role model. last night I finished late at work so I had to branch to my would be in-law's place to pass the night because of the crazy Lagos traffic jam. I wouldn't have gone there if big SIS wasn't around. We ate and laughed until deep at night, I stayed back in the visitors room downstairs while my sister and her man went up to their room. Around 3am, I felt a hand on my thighs I woke up only to see my would be in law, a saint we thought, he was in front of me in only boxer and fully erect,i couldn't believe it. when I asked him to leave the room and he forceful kissed and pressed my breast before I pushed him out. I can't believe he wanted to rape me even when my sister was upstairs in the same house. Apart from feeling violated, I feel pity for my big sister, she doesn't know what her man is made of. I can't even tell any one, am confused. No one will believe me because even dad have put him to test and he passed it. My mind is in turmoil, I couldn't even stay at work today. please advise me on what to do. No one should insult me please am down already.

pafestula:
Bunch of morons, imbecilic habits.. native and sneakers.. How many times Beyonce, Angela Joe or Triumph wear suit and put on Nigeria made leather slippers (Palm)? Or slippers made of tyre on suit? Confused celebrities always promotes wrong culture and dress code. No wonder many of you are homeless.

bros wetin de vex you like this?

why she come where heel for the first picture? a home is a place of relaxation, Acted !!! payporte una try

stainlink:
MY BROTHER LIFE IS MORE THAN WHAT WE DO ON NAIRALAND

AND INCASE YOU ARE TAKING IT PERSONAL, THE COMMENT I MADE IS JUST FOR THE FUN, NOTHING MORE
AFTER ALL I GOT MORE LIKES THAN YOU

who is your brother? lol,cook with the likes or change it to money if you can. but seriously it's not good to hate on people like that.or may be my perception of your post is too sensitive. nevertheless, peace.

stainlink:

Dangote no get
Obasanjo no get
Bill Gates no even get
so who you wan intimidate?

I guess most of our ladies will go for six cars than this your six packs and mighty chest.

who asked you? go and do your own exercise to tone up your body. he is flaunting what he's got, if it pains you so much go to the popular bridge. people be hating on others like you have a problem with their existence in life.. Am immune to bad words and insults,so you can actually bring it on.

it doesn't look like a razor attack. more like a knife attack.

tossedbae:
How old?

A year and four months old. kids grow too fast.

Cutehector:
relationship? Jeez!

it got me thinking too.

she don go drink sliming tea

nurey:
well this cars arent totally feminine, they are good on gas too, you can ask about them or throw in more info

1. toyota corolla/matrix/pontiac vibe 2003 to 06
2. toyota highlander 2000 to 07 (05 to 07 facelift)
3. toyota yaris 1999 to 2010
4. toyota Rav4 2000 to 2005 (some certain years auto have a factory defect which can be rectified though)

thanks for taking your time to help me out.