₦airaland Forum

bealuv: amen
ishow does chrislam wetin make dem ban yhur posts na

dunno too o

RudySmith: Whoever told u that an education will make u successful in life should b shot on sight. An education is just an added tool given 2 people 2 *possibly* succeed, and not the root of it.

am in support of that #truetalk

We av seen lots of graduates,wu got the best grades out of the higher institution and are stil poorer than the CHURCH RATS to say precisely.To me,education is nt evrythin if nt Destiny.
An adage says: ' the water that one will drink will nt overflow his mouth '.... Whr one will finally reach no obstacle cn hinder it.... No one knws whr destiny is taking Him/Her to

Today, may our God go ahead of
you to fight your hidden battles,
your foot shall not lead you to a
place of destruction, every arrow
shot in the spiritual realm to
terminate your life this day, i
cancel them, it shall never have
effect over your life. May the
favour of the Almighty God locate
you this day in thy mighty
powerful name of Jesus.
Morning !!!!!!
SUMONE SHOULD CLAIM DIS!

lol....NL badt o,,,dy hide my post,iz it dat badt?

Goodboy2012: lol ..
Y nt hold legs with him?
I think dat wud be better...
If u kiss a boy nd some1 catches U, u av to kiss D person 2.. And it goes on and on and on till u'v no lips anymore..

lwkmd.........i pray am amng those guys dat d kiss wil touch

IMagine this and answer pls:
U called your girlfriend TO TELL her
that u wanna break up ..she
started begging u on fone and
you tell her to come over to a bar
or resturant for u both to
discuss.on getting to the
resturant,you BOUGHT a bottle of
harp for your self and BOUGHT her
malt.The discussion continues and
you told her again that you just
want a break no matter what and
that you are tired of the
relationship,wh en she hear you
saying this again,she started
crying and begging you that you
should let the relationship
continue no matter what but u
disagreed and shouted no.
After some minutes you opened
your drink and she opened hers
too and not long again the girl
who has been crying since you
told her that you wanna break up
turn out to be laughing and very
amused and you started
wondering what came over her
since she has been crying and
pleading.
Being so surprised at her laughter
and happinness,you asked her
why she was laughing and she
told you that the malt she opened
and which you bought for her has
just won her 20 MILLION NAIRA.
IF U WERE TO BE HER GUY WHO HAS
BEEN TELLING HER THAT YOU WANT
TO BREAK UP,WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO AT THAT PARTICULAR
MOMENT?

Ibraheeym: Unless the People Asking U are Illiterates.. They should undstnd!

u don vex!!!

anyhw dm wan du am,even if na April next year our Back and Chest carry am! #tongue out

DuBooVay: C nw jossy af vex4us*sobbin*

lol.....sobs too

WRITTEN BY ONE LADY Can't believe
he deleted me on his bb, can't
reach him
on his phone, he removed me
from his friend's list on
facebook and twitter just because
I gave him the list of
things I want for xmas
1. Brazillian hair- N95k
2. Gucci bag- N350k
3. Louis vitton wallet- N60k
4. Prada shoes- N140k
5. DNKY wrist watch- N70k
6. Aldo sandals- N28k
7. Blackberry porsche- N235k
Ipad 5 and a trip to Bahamas and
just a Rover sport.....
Dear friends, did I ask for too
much?
HA GIRLS UNA FIT SUCK PERSON DRY

HOW 2 IDENTIFY DIFFERENT NAIJA
CITIES!!!
1. Two guys are fightin, a 3rd guy
comes
along, sees dem and walks on -
Dats Lagos!
--------------- --------------- -------
2. Two guys are fightin, a crowd
gathers to
watch, a guy comes along and
quietly opens a
bottle of beer - Dat's Jos!
--------------- --------------- --------
3. Two guys are fightin, a crowd
gathers 2
watch, a guy comes along and
quietly
says, 'God doesn't like all dis
nonsense'...Pea
ce settles in - Dat's Enugu!
--------------- --------------- -------
4. Two guys are fightin and a 3rd
guy comes
along, den a 4th and dey start
arguin about
who is right - U are in Sapele!
--------------- --------------- -------
5. Two guys are fightin, d
3rd guy comes frm a nearby
house and says,
"Don't fight in front of my place,
go
somewhere else and keep fightin".
- Dat's
Benin!
--------------- --------------- --------
6. Two guys are fightin, one runs
away only 2
return with boko haram 2 start
killin innocent
people who know nothin about d
fight - Dat's
Yobe or any other boko haram
controlled
state!
--------------- --------------- --------
7. Two guys are fightin, a 3rd guy
comes
along with a carton of beer, all sit
2gether
drinkin beer and abusin each
other and all go
home as friends - U are in Waffi!
--------------- --------------- --------
8. Two guys are fightin and one
of dem starts
callin d other one thief, armed
robber, cultist
and so on...A mob gathers and
burn d
accused alive - U are in Aluu!
--------------- --------------- --------
9: Two guys are fightin, both of
dem take
time out and call deir friends on
deir
mobiles...Now 50 guys are fightin
- U are
definitely in Ibadan!
--------------- --------------- --------
10. Two guys are fightin, a 3rd
guy comes
along and tries 2 make peace...D
1st two get
2gether and beat him up - Dat's
Bauchi 4 U!
--------------- --------------- ---------
11. Two girls are fighting, guys
gather round hoping the girls will
tear their clothes so that they can
see boobs - U re in CALABAR.!!!

Dgreat101: GR8 UITE

d greatest

An 11 year old girl realized that
she had started to grow hair
between her legs. she got worried
and asked her Mom about the hair.
Her mom calmly said. "That part
where hair has grown is called a
monkey, be proud that your
monkey has grown hair."
Next morning at breakfast she
told her sister."My monkey has
grown hair."Her sister smiled and
said.
"that's nothing, mine is already
eating banana's."
Her Mom fainted.

Follow @ www.twitter.com/ishow_dot #comedy wednesday

I was in a commercial bus when
an illiterate old man decided to
send a recharge card to his son
who is in the university. He
scratched the card, after
scratching, he called the boy with
his mobile phone and said; Ehen
John na me, oya make you write
down this number, na MTN 1,500.
1266 3351 4213. Minutes later, a
guy sitting beside me said; Oga,
dis ur card no correct o, dem say
the pin no dey exist. All the
passengers in the bus then
exclaimed; No wonder the tin no
gree enter.
Ff on twitter www.twitter.com/ishow_dot for hot funny jokes

prof.em:
LMAO
┏̲D̶̲̅┓̲
Wife don dey collect di** from Mike

yes o....she b badt woman

Sunday jokes:

A mortuary attendant was
receiving bodies when he saw
this body with the name mike on
it with the longest di** he has
ever seen he decided to cut it off
and go show his friends ,when he
reached home he called out his
wife
"hunny come i wanna show you
something"
the wife came and on spoting the
di** screamed "YOU MEAN MIKE IS
DEAD!!!!!!!? "
YOU CAN COMPLETE WHAT
HAPPENED TO THE WIFE
AFTERWARDS??

DO YOU BLIV DIS:

Nigerian Girls Invent Urine-
Powered Generator
Possibly one of the more
unexpected products at Maker
Faire Africa this year in Lagos is
a urine powered generator,
created by four girls. The girls
are Duro-Aina Adebola (14),
Akindele Abiola (14), Faleke
Oluwatoyin (14) and Bello Eniola
(15).
The generator is on display at an
exhibition in Lagos Nigeria
where people from the tiniest
villages to those from big cities
are talking about making stuff.
This is part of an initiative by
‘Maker Faire Movement’ which
seeks to showcase how
traditional handicrafts can be a
solution in the wake of
expensive robot.
Their invention ensures that 1
Liter of urine gives you 6 hours
of electricity.
The system works like this:
1. Urine is put into an
electrolytic cell, which separates
out the hydrogen.
2. The hydrogen goes into a
water filter for purification,
which then gets pushed into the
gas cylinder.
3. The gas cylinder pushes
hydrogen into a cylinder of
liquid borax, which is used to
remove the moisture from the
hydrogen gas.
4. This purified hydrogen gas is
pushed into the generator.
via BBChttp://
www.naijapicks.com/2012/11/
nigerian-girls-invent-
Generator.html?m=1

PRAYER FOR YOU
*dont Ignore*
(1) You will find favour with
someone
you dont expect,.....Ame n.
(2) You will be too relevant to be
ignored,....... ......Amen.
(3) You will encounter GOD and
will never remain the same,..........
Amen.
(4) The grace for completion will
come on you, you shall be
blessed till the blessed call you
blessed,....... ..Amen.
(5) The hand that will like/
comment/ share this
message to others shall not
labour in vain,.........A men
(6) The mouth saying ''Amen'' to
this prayer shall laugh
forever,....... ....Amen.
Very Very soon and I say Very
Very soon, GOD is going to do a
miracle and lift u up 4 GOOD.
HAPPY SUNDAY PALS

Feel Hot Jokes
Akpos died and went 2 heaven
where he
met Angel Micheal
Akpos::: So finally I mak heaven
afta all d rubbish wey I do 4
life Tank God 4 God o
Angel Micheal::: Oya cum enta ya
room
Akpos::: Bros Micheal wetin dey
sup 4 downstairs cos d noise na
DIE
Angel Micheal:: Na hellfire b dat
Akpos:: I fit go peep?
Angel Micheal:: No wahala but we
go lock gate by 5pm so if u nor
quick cum back u go jus stay
hellfire
""Akpos goes 2 peep and der he
sees all d celebrities dat ever lived
on earth clubin and avin alot of
fun. Akpos comes bac by 4pm
and
Angel Micheal speaks::: 9ce 2 see
u bac early my son you r truly a
son of God O
Akpos:: I come pack my load
before Una Lock Heaven..
Angel Michael : why ?
.
.
.
Akpors: i wan go groove 4 hell

Plz do not go down. What ur
about
to see will suprise u.
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HELLO,I SAID DO NOT SCROLL DOWN
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HEY! DIDNT U HEAR ME!
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WHY WON'T YOU LISTEN! DONT GO.
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SMH. DNT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU!
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FOR THE LAST TIME,STOP RIGHT
THERE
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Wow! You made it all the way
here.
Kudos!
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SUCCESS IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME.....
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YOU SHALL NEVER LACK....!
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PEOPLE SHALL REMEMBER YOU FOR
GOOD.....
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HAPPINESS SHALL NEVER CEASE IN
YOU...!
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WAD UP PALZ ♥ ♥ ♥

A Beautiful, sexy, good looking
lady was sitting next to a guy in a
plane......
The lady said to him ' Can you help
me remove something from my
breast please ? ‘The exciting young
man replied, 'Wow! It will be my
pleasure....... So what is it ?' "Your
Eyes, idiot!"

Congratx 2 every1 wu made d list.Nd 2 oda's wu cud nt: "the dwnfall of a MAN z nt d end to his Life

EKAETTE:I'm sorry i can't date you,i need a Responsibe guy
AKPOS:I am,anytime a Girl in my area gts pregnant they say I'm RESPONSIBLE

Kenny2012: Why the insolence?Did I abuse you?I don't see any reason to exchange words with you and ruka15.I guess you both should be within the age bracket of my youngest sibling.Mind you,not everyone on this thread is a boy or girl like you both.As for the hiss,I return it to your elder ones who are of my age.That is if you have any.Your behaviour has really shown that you lack good manners and maybe,home training.Please,drop your high school mentality if you don't want to get into trouble in the university.

thunder fire u nd d pple wu senior me in ur family,c ds daft sha o! Me nd u dy d same caucus ni? Abi u don dy madt?
I said it again nd again,thuder fire u al,...oloribuku sumbody

Buike8: I fink kenny is rite,dt joke wuz far beyond wot its meant 2 b,i knw hw muslims wil feel if dt wuz said of dere imam.lets respect our faith pls.

hw wil muslim feels,dunno y pple tink ds way.k lets luk @ it 4rm ds aspect,comedians lyk Basket mouth,Gordon,Elenu step on stage,dy du crack deir jokes wit churches nd pastors,nd tel me does audience wu listen 2 d jokes nd laff,r xtian nt amng.No con knw y una own con dffrnt lyk ds.Mother nd Father in d lord

To my muslim broda's nd 6ta's,am wishin u hapi Eid-MUBARAK.....emi a sè pupò laye o....

Kenny2012: Why should this joke involve a church and not a mosque or shrine?Please,let's learn to make clean jokes and respect other people's faith.

ur feed back:
cnt reali blame u,is it a crime 2 see a joke sumwhr nd post it here 4 d NL families to read.I knw u wil surely c sumtn 2 say,u cn edit d church/pastor nd put wateva u lyk dere.Mtcheeew

A woman was having sex during
the day with her secret
lover,while
her husband is at work.
Her nine year old son Sandile
comes home unexpectedly,se es
the illegal lovers and hides in the
bedroom's wardrobe to watch.
A few minutes later her husband
comes home. She hides her lover
in the wardrobe,not knowing
Sandile is in there already."
Sandile says,"Its dark in here."
The man replies."Yes it is."
Sandile:"I have a soccer ball;do
you want to buy it?"
Man:"No."
Sandile:"My dad is outside,i'll call
him if you dont buy it."
Man:"Ok,how much?"
Sandile:"N1500. "
A few weeks later it happened
again; Sandile and the lover were
in the wardrobe together.
Sandile:"Its dark in here."
Man:"Yes it is."
Sandile:"I have soccer
boots,wanna buy?"
The man remembering last time
asks Sandile,"How much?"
Sandile says,"N1500."
The man says,"Fine" and pays.
A few days later the father tells
Sandile,"Grab your ball and boots
son,lets go outside and have a
game."
Sandile says,"I cant, I sold them
for N3000."
The father says,"That's terrible to
overcharge your friends like
that....N3000 is way more than
what those two things cost,am
going to take you to church
tomorrow and make you confess
your sins."
The next day they go to church
and the father makes Sandile sit in
the confession booth and closes
the door.
Sandile says,"Its dark in here."
The priest replies,"Dont start that
shit again boy! THIS IS MY CHURCH
NOT YOUR FATHERS BEDROOM!!!
MORNING PALZ

buckyeliz: UI said dhere is no holidaqy on thrusday ooo,its only friday and monday,if am lieig ask som1 again,infact i stil dey insyd UI

lool....we shud b askin everytym,jossy said xo too,am tayad of asking jawe #jokin...

Mayordomlaw: hello all i ve so much enjoyed all your communication in the forum. I luv you all tnx guys.so hw re we connecting on the matric day guys any arrangement?

the issue hd bn swept unda d carpert....Matric day z cumin up soon,yes any arrangmnt