₦airaland Forum

You married someone you knew doesn't love you. Now you're suffering the consequences. For me, free that man and free yourself. Talmabout "boys will always be boys" stupid narratives like that is why y'all let men disrespect you. He brought up divorce means he clearly doesn't want anymore and there's nothing prayers will do. Its not like he is even in love with someone else, he's chasing multiple girls, even his FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND. Na dog you get for house. It will hurt you but you can't stay in that kind of marriage na. Men don finish? Shior

Men are men's greatest enemies.

MrMacinterchi1:
What do girls mean when they say "be a man" or "you're the man here" or something like that ?

No matter how u view it, where 2 or more are without something/one like a head or a figure of representatives is bound to end in chaos.

Do you even leadership? or the definition ?
does that take away friendship from any union?

Relax Lady.

Shut you smelling mouth up. If leadership is necessary then let your wife lead. Don't mention me in this rubbish thread again. Idiat.

Since I was born, and now I am getting old I have never ever seen an educated, exposed handsome, rich guy that calls himself 'head of the house' or bothers about stupid African 'traditions' or about controlling or leading a woman. Its always ugly and broke incels that have never seen a vagina and most of them are found here. It seems you people want to die single with your unattractiveness and backward mentality. God help you.

And stop mentioning me on this rubbish thread ffs.

IMOHS:
The fact that they are both partners does not mean there are two captains on the ship

Its not a fuc..king ship that needs a captain. If you're looking for who to lead, run for president. Oshi.

philip0906:
You twitter, wailing, lonely feminist!! Such a harmless thread, you're already lamenting and wailing!! Ediota!!

Pained much? I know you're just another incel begging for female attention. Why else did you reply all my comments? I understand. Hope your finger deek has risen up now that I've replied you. Cry somewhere else I didn't break your heart. OLODO.

philip0906:
Bullocks!!!

Your mama a Bullock.

philip0906:
You should have simply ignored!! Ediota!!

Like the way you ignored a reply that wasn't for you. Olodo.

TonyeBarcanista:
By TonyeBarcanista

One of the major problems bedevilling the society is the collapse of relationships, courtships, marriages and family system. Although people in these failed relationships do credit their partners as those responsible for the collapse, but I believe that most marital relationship collapse due to the failure of men to be men! Being a man comes with some burden of responsibilities that nature in her wisdom has placed on male folks. The way and manner men, as family heads, realise and discharge these responsibilities will ultimately determine the fate of the relationship/marriage, and the beginning of this start at the foundation of the relationship. To have successful relationship, men should note the following;
www.nairaland.com/attachments/11069090_screenshot20200218100636_jpeg7a530d83c6c693aac2c03ac64b679497

Starting A Relationship:
Before starting a relationship, it is expected of the man to determine his life's vision, as well as and his expectations from himself first and his would-be partner. He has to also determines physical and non physical features of his would-be partner in terms of beauty, physique, character, medical, ethnicity, faith, age, education, ideology, etc. Every man must determine his according to his heart desire and must not be coerced or bullied by societal or peers narratives to accept any standard other than his.

The next stage is to approach/woo only ladies that appeals to them and also pass character test according to their expectations. The character of a would-be partner is the very key as it determines the happiness or otherwise of the budding relationship/marriage/family. This is one step that no man can afford to gamble with. The ideological, faith, medical, and others must not be gambled with. The truth about relationship is that good character is not enough qualification for a man to decide to settle with a woman. A woman's ideology, perspective towards life, family, genotype, faith, culture, tradition, family, sex and other sociocultural issues goes a long way to determine her compatibility or otherwise with the man. For instance, a man that believes in the traditional hierarchial headship of a husband has no business getting married to a woman that doesn't hold such ideology sacred. Partners with fundamental ideologies different from each other have no business marrying each other. Doing so will only be laying foundation for an inevitable doom era. May I emphasize that NO MAN should relegate his ideology in order to accommodate any woman for any reason.

Set Ground Rules And Stick To It
Every man should lay basic ground rule governing the relationship from the onset and ensure strict compliance. One important area that should not be overlooked is the subject of privacy. There is no privacy between a pair as long as relationship is concerned. Each should have unrestricted access to the other, including knowing passwords of phones; it is not a sign of insecurity contrary to what society would want to make one belief, it is simply a testament of oneness. As a man, any woman that doesn't believe in "No Privacy" relationship is most likely hiding something from you and should be a no-no.

Post-Proposal/Marriage Stage
With all the aforesaid in check and confirmed, men in relationship should proceed to take only women that match their criteria and meet their respective physical, character, ideological and other fundamental requirements to the "village" and altar, and do the needful. The purpose of courtship is not just for "free sex", it is a platform for would-be couple to confirm compatibility.

Once married, men should be prepared for greater task as family head, and ensure he leads by example, while their partner (and kids) also live by the family standard. Men shouldn't be slow to assert authority, appropriate sanctions and discipline on whoever that derails from the path, including himself.

Some Key Responsibilities And Expectations For Men
Having established the above, a man must recognise that as the hierarchical head and burden bearer of the relationship and marriage, he is saddled with greater responsibilities and expectations than his partner and/or any other member of the household.
[img]https://tenntuxx.files./2018/09/blackmanfamily.jpg[/img]

Some key responsibilities/Expectations include;

Fairness: Being head of family doesn't mean the man is a higher human to the wife or the children. It only put him at the top of authority within the family. He must be fair in his dealings with his wife at all times, knowing that he is accountable to God and nature. In fact, a man that isn't fair in his dealings will never know peace in the home.

Leadership: As a man, you can't flout rules and regulations and expect the woman to abide by it. It doesn't work that way! Leadership is by example, and men who aren't living exemplary lose every moral justification to address err by his woman or even his children.

Independent Mind: A man should have an independent mind that is not influenced by peers or societal narratives. He must realise that issues that concern relationship and home affairs are unique and he doesn't need popular opinion of relatives and strangers (on and off social media) before taking decision.

Openness To Ideas; Although a man is expected to possess independent mind, he is bound to open his mind to opinion and ideas of his woman on virtually all issues without having an impressionist mind. Though a man is the head and final authority, he is not omniscient. He may not even be the most knowledgeable between the pair. Even if he is the most knowledgeable, he may not be the most knowledgeable on the issue in question. Also, there is a wise saying that no idea is a waste, this applies to relationship. His final decision must be in the overall interest of the union irrespective of whether it comes from him or his wife.

NB: Without prejudice, a man must insist on decisions and actions that he is of a strong conviction that is of the benefit of the union/family even if his partner insists otherwise. But he should be prepared for the consequences should the action/decision yield unfavourable outcome.

Responsibility: A man must be first be responsible to himself and the woman in his life. A responsible man is one that knows his onion and live a life worthy of emulation. An irresponsible man cannot lead a woman not to talk of family.

Accountable: Although his woman is accountable to him in all things, the man is expected to first account to himself and the woman in his life. That way he shows a pathway for the woman to follow.

NB: A woman that is not prepared to be accountable to the man is a no-no irrespective of other factors.

Financial Stability: While no one expect a man to be very wealthy or live in affluence before meeting a woman, it is expected that he should at least have source of livelihood that to be able to cater for his needs and that of his partner/family. Any man that is yet to have good source of livelihood should suspend the idea of marriage altogether until he is ready. It is not a crime to be broke, but it is a sin for a grownup man without anything doing to be talking of relationship and marriage. The reason is simple, the woman is not meant to take care of financial any burden! It is the man's responsibility to cater for the woman and the home while the woman gives helping hand. I repeat, the woman is meant to give helping/supporting hand and not to inherit the main burden.

Chief Planner: The man in the relationship is chiefly responsible for making short and long term plans to ensure that his relationship and home doesn't suffer; and ensure that he sticks to it. This is very important as those who fail to plan end up losing it. Although a woman is expected to partner her man, it is still the man's responsibility to ensure things work as the Planner in Chief.

Physical/Mental/Emotional
/Sexual Fitness: Every man should always take priority of physical, mental and sexual fitness. A man who is weak physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually is not appealing to a woman. In fact, no woman wants, deserves nor desires one who is physically weak, emotional wimp, mental retard and one who cannot perform sexually (not saying men should start using drugs). Men that fall short in these areas will have serious problem in their relationship/family. It is the duty of the man to work on his weaknesses!

Discipline: A man should discipline himself as by doing this he creates precedent for his partner and children to follow. No man should tolerate or forgive indiscipline in his home, not from himself, his woman/wife/girlfriend or children. Discipline is one of the way of expressing love.

Godfearing And Godly: All said, this is the most important. Any man that fears God will love and honor His Words, and will want to live godly life; and thereby be the best man any family would have. By this I don't mean outward religiosity (like many) or mere churchgoer, but for one to have reverence towards God Almighty and to follow His word.

Finally, marriage is not a bed of roses but it is a union ordained by God meant for human pleasure and not for humans to endure. But it is the duty of the man to seek and insist on woman that meets his desires and matches his expectations to have his dream home.

May God Bless Us All...

Stop seeing marriage as a Boss-employee relationship but rather as two friends...PARTNERS that chose each other. Women don't need leadership, keep thinking like this your marriages will keep ending.

asahnwaKC:
Olden days teaching......there's no theory or rules in relationships or marriage....what works for mr a might not work for be... .....

Like!!! What the Bleep is this whole thread?

Authoreety:
Women should be submissive and respect the man that asked them to come share his stuffs with him.


Only a stupidly foolish idiot would abuse a submissive and respectful woman.

Shut the Bleep up, Pete Edichie.

FuckThaMod:
Then don't kneel na.. Who is forcing you? Your type no go last for marriage except you marry an imbecilê. It's a man's world and we choose what rule to bend.. We don't worship trees cos we don't want to anymore, but you bitches will continue to kneel as long as we say so! If you don't like it then go marry a white man, a REAL weakling or go drink sniper! Na you break my heart na.. Olosho.

Incel screaming. What's that smell? Fragile masculinity. You go heal.

FuckThaMod:
May God help you too... I can see you bitches want to fly without growing wings, wings you will never grow anyway. The whites kneel because their women have value and a lot their women are even the breadwinners or at least contribute equally to the family, can the same be said about you leeches?
Did your father and grandfather kneel when proposing? Did your momma and grandmomma not kneel during traditional ceremony? You want to throwaway centuries of tradition because you feel your smelly pussy should control men. I don't blame you, i blame the idiots parading themselves as men.

Women don't want to kneel because y'all don't have value either. So why force us? Your grandfathers also worshipped trees, you should too! Olodo. The person that broke your little heart has moved on. You should too. Weakling

eni4real:
Are you saying if he break up with her right away, he won't find a better woman who has regard for culture and also successful??
She will just be be shouting 'men are scum' up and down , without telling people that she is the architect of her own fortune...
The man is just being nice... I know that is how he will continue to be nice until the lady become the sole authority of the family!!! A strong woman(permitted), but a weak man

K.

eni4real:
She refuse to kneel on her wedding day??
May be she is the one that sponsor the wedding!!!

If the man break up with her right away now, she will be shouting 'men are scum'!!!

Too much disrespect!!!

.
Her husband isn't a weak man. She isn't a weak woman. Disrespect is God putting you on this earth and not killing you yet when you still have a caveman mentality in 2020. We don't need people like you. God have mercy on you.

FuckThaMod:
And so? Isn't she meant to kneel to serve the cup? Isn't it tradition that our forefathers respected? You ladies of nowadays are nothing but Wildcats and harlots, that's why u see nothing wrong in your fellow women beating and killing their husbands. Any man wey kneel for you no go live long.
In Africa you ladies are meant to be subordinates, you do as we bid! Respect the culture your mother and grandmother respected. If you don't like it swerve to the White man lands and wait for one to kneel for you instead.

Then go back to worshiping trees and tying wrappers. Oh I forgot, you only pick traditions that make you think you're GODS!!! Be looking for who will kneel for you in the name of stupid tradition. Y'all cannot survive without oppressing women so why won't they kill you? You stink of fragile masculinity. Screaming insults like they broke your little heart. You're not a man. May God help you.

Toxic masculinity don finish una. Why won't it, when yall are still taking advice from ancestors that think like cavemen. A woman will refuse to kneel on her wedding una go cuss her marriage. Useless men full here.

FuckThaMod:
And so? Don't you kneel to suck dick too..
Don't bring sexual acts into this matter

Oh do shut up. When a lady refused to kneel during her traditional marriage, weren't you lots saying she'd still kneel down to suck deek...JUST LIKE YOU DID NOW? When women do the same you'll vex. Swerve

Ebymyk:
what does a woman have to offer than pussy...?

Even jobless losers wan open mouth. You no get anything to offer you dey ask mumu question. Ask ya mama.

pocohantas:
You can’t kneel to propose,

But you will bow to lick toto like say bounty and snickers dey there.

Brother wey mumu.

Lmfao

Davash222:
It’s better you use the time in increasing the volume to increase your sense of reasoning, you this Night newspaper.

Coming from an illiterate who's mother isn't even as worthy as a 'night newspaper'. What should we call her? Used tissue paper.

PastorAmotekun:
She has Corrola virus

No be only corrola. Na Toyottaa.

kushme:
Your mama smelling Toto. Stupid thang..

E pain am.

kushme:
Mumu. The same Cavemen mentality gave you this mouth to insult other men.. I no blame you.

Two mumus came together, had sex and made you. Pour your frustrations everywhere. You go heal

They promote stereotypes.

They usually have cavemen mentality. They need a woman who will place herself under them and is ready to see house chores and cooking as her duty. Me no get time.

puremaker7:
Ode, u av been banned from prosperity and wisdom

K.

Dizzyrascal:
to get me angry is going to take a whole lot more....I am extremely calm, that is my gift....I am guessing maybe you are trying to get yourself banned.... anything that rocks your boat

K.

Youngzubi:
So it happens to ladies too..

Is God not wonderful... Adam never new what God did for him, He actually eased him the stress of wooing by giving her to him by himself

Senseless.

Dizzyrascal:
I am not asking you to love me(I have a lot of that already). I am only asking you to give love another try. I can assure you things will definitely be different....even if you don't want to love someone else, learn to love yourself...

I wonder if you inherited your stupidity or if its just you in your family. Either way you're a disappointment.

puremaker7:
Lol, your moniker said it all about you.

That I've been banned? Lmao. Mumu.

Dizzyrascal:
I sense a lot of bitterness and resentment....but the only way to let it go is to open up you heart and give love another chance....

Shut up, incel. This is the only way you get attention from women. Talking about love. Find who'll love your ugly ass first