₦airaland Forum

gbokukueba: @Poster, currently in the same shoes as am away from my family for 5 months now, i tell you it has not been easy one thing that keeps me going is that fact that i know i am doing this for them even though we talk to each other everyday through phone, bbm, Skype, email etc i still miss them and am counting days as i am due to return home.

My advice for you to to keep the communication constant and engaging since you have mentioned cost issue i would have said you should plan to visit each other as 6 months is a very long time not to see your spouse and moreso a child not seeing the father.

For me in this 5 months my family had visited me and on one of my travels i spent 3 days at home and it was very wonderful amd looking forward to having them visit me again next month.

Pls keep your marriage alive... money is not everything!

sammhi: well, u have taken the decision so no going back. just pray for him and let all you propose turn out as planned.
six months is not a long tme and is worth the sacrifice.keep the communication line open and soon months will turn to days and then to hours and then minutes then gbam is all over... u will look back and be happy. please if u or he can , then visit at least once in two months or so. that will help a lot. Dont brood any negative tot about him as that may mar your happiness. Be focus , avoid gossips and always pray for him. cheers

kanny1: my dear if that decision of your is well thought out and prayed on will secure your future in years to come, just go ahead. But make sure you reach him every day just like you have planned. That will keep you in his mind. For the mutual "efisi", just be involved in something that'll keep your mind away from wandering to and fro. All the best.

Warfibabe: Op, you will do just fine. . . I lived without my husband for a whole year, then he came back for 6months and left when i was 3 months pregnant, and returned a week to my delivery date, then travelled back when my son was a month old. We call and text each other everyday, and i send him pictures of me and our son regularly. . . We have always been like this prior to our marriage, and we are still in it. . We are doing very fine. Just TRUST your husband and be focused on your future plans, the years will glide by before you know it. .

Ozichim: Please if your husband (U said “Ur man”) is not a Christian, Ur really playing some dangerous game. Beautiful girls can have big influence on men. Men make big use of their eye. Men eat first with their eye & their brain. Staying far & Long from your husband is exposing him to unnecessary test. Beautiful girls can make him see U “ugly”. Children would have helped to keep him to Ur self.
You may go on with your plan if you are very sure he can manage and again if you don’t really care if he keep some girl friends. Again what of you, can you stay long without him? or are you the type that can sleep around where possible? Personal decision can help, but it is uncommon with men. Though, six months is not too long, my advice to U is that U should help the man by visiting him and spending time with him. If you understand men’s sexual urge, U know that it is something they cannot easily control and it can take hold on them any time anywhere. Even ordinary picture or sight of breast or even half dressed lady can confuse some men especially if he is below 40/35 years.
Yet I know that some men manage the situation successfully, So personal decision is very important here; but let it be when there is no option.

PhysicsQED: I'm no expert on family matters, but even with the financial factors involved, I don't think this is a wise choice.

GOD'S LOVE:
THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH,,,,PRAY PRAY AND PRAY FOR UR HUSBAND AND URSELF

flexya: Ur marriage will never be the same again. I did same thing and it wrecked mine. Even if dsnt wreck urs, it will never be as it was. Ur place his by ur man's side. If he is goin 2 iraq 2 learn knittin, follow him. The experience for u and ur daughter shall be invaluable. Dats the true meanin of "for better, for worse". If u r not by him, someone else will. If u think that person will be temporary and she gets pregnant nko? Ever thought ur husband might suddenly see things in a thoroug-hbred african girl that he cherishes and can't let go? Ever heard 2 juju? U might av opened ur door 2 a divorce or polygamy. Better pack ur bads a follow him. Comfort is where the heart is!

PS: whoever adviced u 2 visit him every 3months is clearly daft. If u could afford that, u won't be movin back home.

Billyonaire: This is inspiring. Poster, you are making the right decision. Planning for the future takes a giant leap of faith. You are not alone in this, many of us share similar dreams and challenges. My fiancee is also leaving for the UK in a couple of months for a 2 years study. And I am sure that its not going to be easy staying far off from the man she loves dearly and me from the woman I lust, love and cherish. I am sure the thought and plans of the future will keep us sane, just as I hope it will keep you and your husband sane too. Love is all there is.

ayandee: @poster, I would like to encourage you. My husband and I lived apart for one year. Shortly after the wedding, I got full schlorship to study abroad which was what we both longed for. Then I found out I was pregnant and that didn't stop us either. I had our baby abroad while studying. We ensured we called and mailed each other daily. Skype really helped too. I was able to secure a better job shortly after my return and I must confess to you that we've never regretted taking that decision. Between, he is a God-fearing man and loves me dearly. Being apart for a while is one of those sacrifices we sometimes have to make to move ahead.

De-Grace01:
Well is not easy bt u can survive it only by making sure that communication line is widely open. I got married 5yrs ago but had only spent like 1yr wt my wife. It depend on the man and the woman both of are, like I said ealier comm. is very immportant. Good luck.

Booty4me: Op look for sumbodi to b sha.gging u.. Body no b wood

Dosoq: Na wa 4 dis trend o,if u av even decided 2 live 15yrs witout ur spouse,wat has dat got 2 do wit us nairalanders,........has it reduced d price of fuel in d market?.....mtchewww,abeg find beta 'tori yan us jare.

josite: Unless your hubby is highly principled,focused and a committed praying xtian,u will regret it.distractions and distractors will replace u and same applies to u.

obi123: my dear at certain points in our lives for us to progress, sacrifices have to be made, i know people who have lived apart,usually when one is still studying or for some other reason and i'm sure it cant be easy but they make it work somehow.
As long as you keep your eyes on the prize, you know why you have taken such a decision and you can defend it , then may the lord be your strength.

InHim4Him: Just brace up for eventualities. African ways are definitely different especially on African soil. Don't be surprised that the "cows" are more of value than your great dreams, no offence meant.

MacLovington: Jallow,

good on you to make plans for the future. I hope it all works out well.

Is he going to learn to translate from English-Norwegian and Eng-Norw. in Gambia?

But there are some things we can't control. Being out of sight for a man can bring temptations, if you know what i mean. I picture your man as an under 40 young man returning home for sometime. Hmmmmm.......... Very much in demand!
This is not just your man. Any man.

If I was in your position, I would make sure I can visit him every 3 months and stay around 10 days. At 1.5 years, your child will go for free.

Having said that, I was away from my woman for a couple of years AND it went well. Well, I was in Europe working hard (I had time for nothing else), she was in Africa. I had many temptations. It was difficult. Most men wouldn't have been able. Hope your man is just one of those very very few who can.
Good luck.

Raymond003: U are doing all dis because of material achievemts. But u ,ve 4goten dat u are nt in total control of ur lives.

Cleanman: @op...it takes real bravery and commitment 2 put up with those absentee-ness...do u couples actually love eachother?

PAGAN 9JA:
you people try to assimilate everyone! it is your final goal. you and your st.upid theories about adam and eve. useless sh!.t.

PAGAN 9JA:
when white people marry, its a golden rule for the marriage to not last more than 2-3 years. .

chaircover: I am trying to understand the reasons why you both decided to be apart for 6 months up to a year and the fact why you are moving back home rather staying in your own marital home. I know you mention financial reasons, but isnt the point of leaving home in the first instance and getting married is because you are both ready to stand on your both 2 feet.

Anyway what is done is done and I wish you both the best of luck. Keep the flame alive by communicating as much as possible. It is well.

antitpiah: Are you looking for a Nigerian mandingo?

I am available.

PAGAN 9JA:
shut up jallowblah. we are African Tribesmen. stop trying to butt in and try to assimilate us and use your useless white ideology.

NRI PRIEST: Hey lady,when I said I dont want "non African" responding to my post I didnt mean to be a racist. I hope you werent offended if you arent African. In the tone of this thread I hope you understand the context in which the comment was made. One love,dear.

warya123: he said non africans dont respond....ur not african.

NRI PRIEST: All those who are here responding to this very boy are all sick in the head. Silent is golden. The handwritting is written on the wall and please I dont want non African responding to my post.Bantu for life !

warya123: what is a whis person doing here... damnnnnn honkey...


r u here to enslave these people?