₦airaland Forum

Efemena_xy: ^^ Awww...he's still away then?

Take heart, before you know it, he'll be right back in your arms looking after his girls (wifey and daughter)

Going down to him in 2months.
Just got a sweet message from his brother, and any sweetness from down there right now brings tears to me

And thank you. Not long now.

You need to get your self-esteem back, and stop hanging with st-upid young boys who cant keep their mouth shut.
Find a man that likes you, not what you can become.

I am a 12-16, depending on the fabric and shops etc, and I have never had a problem with men not hitting on me. And one of the things most of them notice? My attitude. I smile, I dress to show of my curves and what I am happy with myself, and I generally look positive at things.

If you are not happy with yourself, you can either begin to make yourself happy, or you can try to change how you look.

10min ago.
Missing my husband.

abuov: Hi,any idea of where to get glutathone whitening pill/injection or kojic acid body lotion in Lagos?ASAP.

Why would you do that to yourself?

Mrs.Chima:
My husband likes when I have on a sundress, flip flops, matching earring and necklaces, and hair in a style. I be looking good being simple!

Don't need to be all glammed up to look good.

Same here

But, since we live in Norway, and it cold 9months of the year; outside the house he like that I show my figure, but still "covers up". Tight dresses/skirts, some big loops in my ears, and a short jacket.
In Africa, or the summer; All kind of loose-fitting dresses, still showing the figure though, and sandals.

At home; as little as possible.

Making myself some un-healthy pipizza, since my family had food that I react to today.
Too tired to start cooking, and have to get up early, early.

BobDon: I would like to thank everyone who responded to my post. You have been so wonderful and honest to me and I really appreciate your contribution. Opening this thread was important to me because I needed to get some anonymous unbiased feedback about my situation. Since my family does not have all the information that I posted here, they are unable to advice me appropriately. I posted the facts just as they were and I gave you all my arguments. Given the overwhelming rejection of my line of thought, it is clear that I need to do away with it.

I am going to stick with my relationship and I am going to have a positive attitude going forward. My girlfriend is a great woman and I love her with all my heart. Even when we argue, we never go below the belt, we always have a debate. She states her arguments without raising her voice and I state mine. If she is right, I apologize to her and if I am right she does the same. This is my first relationship and it is has led me to the point where I have had to make the most important decision of my life at a relatively young age. I posted my story here because I sincerely wanted to know if I was making the right call based on the facts that I presented.

To everyone who responded, I am very grateful for your honesty. May God bless all of you.

I thank YOU.

Not many young men are able to take that chance either. Nor women. I was only 23 when I got married, but my gut told me it was right.
Love is love, and everyone have their struggles. Dont believe its going to be cloud nine the rest of your life, and remember to enjoy all the small things

Good luck to you both, you seem like a good man.

I got my tiiicket, I got my tiiiicket! *Dancing around*

I am happier than ever. But its going to be rough not telling him what day we are coming down. Two weeks with him in december..gaaawd. I have to try to save up some money to bring too, so I can take him and his brothers out on the town. My birthday will be when I am down there as well..cant wait to see my hubby, only 2months and 6 days more!!

blasterman: Be careful of child support cos that is 50 % of ur monthly income . Alimony or spousal support only comes after 10 yrs of marriage. You have to be careful though cos AMerican women can flip in 1 second. If ur lucky ur woman comes from good family no yawa but if she is a ghetto girl make overkaku b ur middle name cos dem no dey slack for dat kind thing. Divorce is so easy to do and when they know u gats dough that is another motivation. U can marry her but just know ur in injury time one missed penalty game over

Lol..
Taken from online courtlaws from USA:

To figure out the child support for a primary custody arrangement, do the following calculation:

Gross income Deductions = Adjusted Income (AI)
AI x Percentage (see below) = Child Support
1 kid: 20% 3 kids: 33%
2 kids: 27% More kids: 3% for each
If the calculation results in a support amount below $50.00, the support amount will be $50.00 a month. The minimum calculation for a primary custody arrangement is $50.00.
If your AI is over $105,000, you may be eligible to use the high income cap. Rule 90.3 says that the portion of an adjusted annual income over $105,000 will not be used in calculating the child support amount, unless the other parent presents evidence showing the higher income should be used in the calculation. If the cap is used, the AI will be $105,00 for the calculation.

--

Why are trying to scare the boy??

I read the first line, and then..

I laughed, and replied. Lol.

Meh. My husband was 34 before he got a really serious relationship.
People are different.

Honey..

In my country the divorce-rate is almost as high as in America. I knwo my husband had some thoughts like you in the beginning, because he also have seen how many marriages, specially between scandinavian and africans, that goes sh.itt.
In the western society, they tend to think that if something gets broken, you buy something new, instead of fixing it. But not all of was raised like that, and not all of us see it like that either.
Some of us still believe in marrying ONE person, and doing everything in their power to keep the marriage going, and live through sickness and health.
And some of us dont mind if we live here or there, but; her family might cause problems later on on that part, when you have kids.

She shows interest in your culture, she married you to help you with papers, she drives hours just to spend time with you, and I would bet she helped you with money when you needed it, before you got a job.
She want to move with you to a completely different country, because she loves you.

...really, what more can you ask?

If my husband expected me to cook, even though we both worked full-time, it would not be okay.
If I was home, not working, or had a day off, I would cook. And the other way around.

The last 7months, I was working fulltime in the daytime, he was working part-time every two evenings. He cooked 90% of the time, I did the cleaning. Its all about compromise, and showing the spoue you care about them, and not expect them to do anything.

Fulaman198: Jamo means something different in my dialect of fulani. In my dialect it means how someone is feeling or doing?

For example, "how are you?" "a jaamo?"

and Jamma means evening or the night. "see you this evening" - "Sey jamma"

I elieve its written with an Y instead of J..my bad The word sounds the same for me, as I have only learned by listening, not reading..

So its nyamo, not njamo. And arr nyama.

bittyend: You have got a gigantic back off for a white girl.

Only a chocolate mandingo specie can handle that, holla at the ice cream man.

Lol.

I`ll forward the message.

dontador: I don't like meeting online girls. Some have asked for us to meet but am not interested. Anything online not my thing.

Lol. You don`t see the irony in what you just wrote?

As for internet-dating; my mother met her husband online. They have been married close to 7years now.
My bestfriends mother as well, she met him playing online-games, he lived in USA, she lived in Norway. They have been married 8-9 years.

*Kails*:
fula how do you say "eat" in fulani?

Njamo.

Or, come eat; arr njama.

lolaprincess: @jumppearl. Its quite funny but if u enta any standard pharamcy and tell them u want 'yodi', they actually know what u r talking about. NB: it is oval shaped like rice

Wish they had it in Scandinavia..

Fulaman198: Types of food common to Fulani:

Mafe:

https://storage.canalblog.com/05/55/584397/44457182_p.jpg

My way of cooking mafe/domoda:

You need:
Chicken or meat
the vegetales you prefer, I use carrots and yams
Spices; maggi, pepper, salt, barbequespice, curry
Peanutpaste
Tomatopaste
Floweroil
Rice

Warm up the casserole, put in the oil, some salt,one big spoon tomatopaste, 2 maggies, and drop in the meat and fry it good.
When the meat finish frying, put in water to cover the meat, put in the vegetales, and a little bit pepper as well.
When the meat and vegetales are finished cooking, put in about half a jar peanutpaste, mix it in good, and let the whole thing small-boil.
You will know its finished when the oil separete from the peanutpaste, and the whole thing is a little bit thick.

I am guessing everyone knows how to cook rice the african way.

Then, enjoy

leyom234: Ok thanks. You actually helped out.

Just look at what you both want now, and in five years from now And if you THINK she dont want the same, ask.
Thats what my husband did, told me straight up; if you dont want to be a wife and have a baby before 3years from now, we can not work. I dont want a girl I want a wife.

In any age-difference, its important to be at the same place.

I was 23 when I married my husband who is 11years older than me.

It all depends on the persons involved. If you match, you match. If not, leave.

Mynd_44: As evil as this sounds, get an abortion and move out of that house. You dont want to have a child who was concerted through incest

And report the dude for RAPE.

Am I the only one seeing that one

I am just one BIG smile right now. Talked to my booking-office about the plaintickets, my contact there will send me two different offers today.

Oh, jooooy!

Have also decided to take a white lie on my husband so he stays home the day I am coming..I am going to tell him a friend of me is going to Gambia, and that she will bring a small gift from me, and she wants to see the house, so he need to stay at home that day. Omg, omg, omg, I am too excited!
This means I will get to see him soooooooon!

Fulaman198: Mbororo Fulani shirt (Togere pullo mbodaddo): https://www.africadirect.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/small_image/180x180/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/a/ra69.jpg


The bells worn on the ankles in Fulani language is known as "Akayoore" Sadly I can not find pictures of it online, so I will have to take a picture of one and upload it sometime. You see that in the first gerewol video I linked. It is worn usually for cattle. I guess in English it is called cowbells. English is my 3rd language so I could be wrong.

Yes, cowbells We made one for our kid last year, that she grew out of. Both me and her are gonna get a new one when we go back

They especially use it for hearing where the kids are.

With Kails? Put on some dancehall and tell her to shake her booty with me.

[img]http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg411/scaled.php?server=411&filename=29595110150762867170440.jpg&res=landing[/img]

The fulani women, and men, are known for their beauty, and their view in beauty. This is my sister in law`s feet. She used henna, and it will stay for about two weeks time.
I am thinking about tattooing my feets like this..they do this for nothing special of occations, it is just part of their beauty.

[img]http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg513/scaled.php?server=513&filename=29800910150762874795440.jpg&res=landing[/img]
( From our wedding celebration )
This is during the butchering. They have to call on the village-butches to do it, as it is custom for them to have one special man for weddings, name-givings and funerals to do the praying in the name of Allah, and then cut the troath and let the cow bleed out.

The attach ropes to the cows feet in case he starts to jump, and as the cow dies it might cramp and move. They dig a hole under the cows neck for the blood to run in, and the butches have ONE knife he uses every time he butch.

[img]http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg38/scaled.php?server=38&filename=29861610150761559240440.jpg&res=landing[/img]

This attire for the babycows is quite normal in Gambia, I dont know for the rest of Africa.
They put this on so that the baby, who is now no longer a baby and has started to eat "normal" as well, dont take all the milk in the morning from the mother. If he tries to approach, it will sting the mother, leading her to push him away.

https://imageshack.us/a/img51/3277/29905110150761555545440.jpg

And this is the type of houses my husband grew up in
Its made of cement and some cow-sh.it ( ! ), and the toilet is just a whole in the ground on the back. They shower with only a bucket of water, wich they pick up about 5km away.

Regarding the hat, this is my husbands hat, which he got from his uncle:
[img]http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg43/scaled.php?server=43&filename=dscf0350g.jpg&res=landing[/img]

He used one like this when he was younger as well, in the bush with his beloved cows.
In Gambia, its not too many cattle-men anymore, but they still take much pride in their cows. As my husband says; "my mother would rather sell her gold than to sell her own cows."
My husband grew up in Njamina, out in the bush, and started walking with his cattle from the age of 6 alone, and with his father from the age of three.
He would later carry his younger brothers on his back in the bush when they were tired, like the mothers do their babies.

When he was around 18, they moved to a village, mostly because one of the marabous discussed it with my husband and his father. They bought land there, and now have a compound with five houses, and around 32 cows. One is mine My husband is a little sad though, as when he left, they had 60 cows. He was the main one taking care of them, even climbing trees to get them the sweetest fruit, and walking many Km just to get the best water.

When they butch the cow for food, f.ex for a marriage like they did for us last year, the save the tail for whipping away flies, and they also save the horns..I forgot to bring the horns home to EU, I want to make necklaces for the two of us as a memory. My husband had a five-day long fight with his mother last year about killing a cow in my honour, cause, as he said to the family; if she was a fulani-born woman, you would have said yes right away. This is WIFE.

My husbands favourite breakfast is millet. Its dried couscous, kind of, with sour milk, straight from the cow, that has been standing in a bucket for a few days..I really, really dont like it. Lol.
It tastes like sand and sour milk. Bah He, and our kid, loooove it.

One of my favourite gambian dishes is Domoda/Maffe. Its peanutpaste and the meat of choice, plus the vegetables you wish to prepare it with as well

Anyone want the line-up for cooking it??

This tread brings back memories, and gives me a little tears in my eyes..